[quote]Nards wrote:
And on Saturday I went to the gym and the counter staff called their boss over and he told me they were cancelling my membership.
I asked why and the boss looked at me a little surprised and said “Look at you…you’re done. Complete. Perfect. We all felt we were just wasting your time and money sir.”[/quote]
Damn Nards…I was about to post the same story.
Uhm…where can I sign up for “soul sucking”?
[quote]Professor X wrote:
Uhm…where can I sign up for “soul sucking”?[/quote]
That is called being married X.
[quote]Professor X wrote:
Uhm…where can I sign up for “soul sucking”?[/quote]
follow me bro
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]Professor X wrote:
Uhm…where can I sign up for “soul sucking”?[/quote]
That is called being married X.[/quote]
Ha! JLO not online today, is she DJ?
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]Professor X wrote:
Uhm…where can I sign up for “soul sucking”?[/quote]
That is called having children.[/quote]
[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]Professor X wrote:
Uhm…where can I sign up for “soul sucking”?[/quote]
That is called being married X.[/quote]
Ha! JLO not online today, is she DJ?
[/quote]
LOL - you beat me to that punch… Was going to reply “There’s a fiesty latina out there that’s going to have your ASS for that comment!” 
[quote]SteelyD wrote:
[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]Professor X wrote:
Uhm…where can I sign up for “soul sucking”?[/quote]
That is called being married X.[/quote]
Ha! JLO not online today, is she DJ?
[/quote]
LOL - you beat me to that punch… Was going to reply “There’s a fiesty latina out there that’s going to have your ASS for that comment!” ;)[/quote]
She is eating lunch with the newly hired son.
I aint skerred I know how to sleep standing up with my eyes open with my back against a wall behind a locked door. Shessh come on guys like you dont know.
[quote]postholedigger wrote:
[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:
My cell phone is made of steel[/quote]
So was mine…
…it’s now made of diamond[/quote]
ahahaha!
<3
Shut the fuck up you old bastards.
Damn Hallowed you going to take that from the cuddly vampire?
Damn right she is
I was doing deadlifts the day we had the earthquake on the east coast. Coincidence?
[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:
Damn right she is[/quote]
I’m gonna take it!
Only cuz I kinda like it.
Me and Rock we be into the grannie stuff. Oh yeah!
Cummere Rock lemme “knit you a sweater” and “bake you some cookies”
Cummere Rock, be a good boi!
I stepped on the brake pedal to avoid hitting a squirrel and punched a trench into the street with my heel.
This angered me a bit so I hit the squirrel with the oak tree it ran up.
I can swim so powerfully that I work on weekends as a tug boat.
I ripped a band aid of my friend for him and 3 hours later he was having a skin graft!
woops
I was born nine weeks premature.
The doctors told my mother she might need a C-section, so once I got the OK I punched my way out of her stomach.
I also had to stop petting kittens.
The other day I was trying to staple some papers together, but I ended up stapling the stapler to itself.
All of my pushups are plyometric.
I kissed a girl and I liked it.
I use Scott Toilet Paper, by CHOICE!!
[quote]four60 wrote:
I use Scott Toilet Paper, by CHOICE!![/quote]
You’re weak.
I DON’T EVEN USE TOILET PAPER!
[quote]Vicomte wrote:
[quote]four60 wrote:
I use Scott Toilet Paper, by CHOICE!![/quote]
You’re weak.
I DON’T EVEN USE TOILET PAPER![/quote]
Squishy, Squishy Mushy