you should vacuum the bed !!
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Thatās the beauty of toast though. Itās preserved.
Toast is to bread what ham is to pork.
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I donāt need that sort of competitionā¦
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I like to tell people that I eat a lot of salad. Which is true, I do.
But more precisely, I see salad as the perfect method for conveying heaping gobs of delicious ranch or blue cheese into my face hole.
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I ended up accidentally throwing away a pair of 200$ Excision concert tickets that my husband bought us for our anniversary. Needless to say I panicked and immediately got emotional and shoveled through pounds worth of garbage in our apartment dumpsters to find two tiny pieces of papers worth 200$. I was sweating, crying, covered in grime, and am now insanely sore.
So I guess I got my āconditioningā work done for the day.
Didnāt find the tickets. Still feel like shit about it.
Ugh, that sucks. And here I come with the obvious āare you sure you threw them awayā.
Yeah he ordered them through UPS. So they came in that flat envelope package. And I was cleaning up so I get into cleaning mode, and in my mind, it looked like trash since we opened it and everything, but kept the tickets inside so we wouldnāt misplace them, so I ended up throwing it away just on impulse.
Itās not the concert itself thatās super important (granted we were both excited to see the artist perform), but we save ticket stubs every year from various venues or concerts we go to each anniversary as like sentimental memories. So in essence, to everyone else itās like ājust get replacementsā which weāre trying to do, but the physical stubs is what matters to me since itās what we save, and from the looks of it any replacements would be solely in electronic form now.
A piece of precooked bacon was crumpled into the eggs. And then two or three grape tomatoes. So what, an extra 50 calories?
Thatās why it was essential to eat the rogue pieces of egg. Iām talking survival here.
@planetcybertron, Iām so sorry about the tickets. I remember my mom saying āI donāt think Iāll ever smile againā after throwing away jewelry sheād hidden at the bottom of a trash can when she went on vacation (why she did this I donāt know). When they came home, they forgot and emptied the trash. Weāre not really jewelry people, but whatever she had that she considered valuable to thieves was in there. It messed with her for a while.
Itās been a really long time since I thought of that jewelry - I supposed now that Iām not a stoned 19-year-old, it kind of messes with me! I wonder what was in there??
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Your inheritance.
Exactly.
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Thats the trouble with hiding stuff. I hid my wifeās Christmas present so well I STILL canāt find it.
Cutest little puppy.
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Wait till yāall get old, and put things in a safe place so you wonāt lose them, and thenā¦ you canāt find them.
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Shakespearean, no?
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I can confirm that this kinda works 3 out of 5 times. The remaining two it gets really awkward though.
Itās worth noting that what is spoken is Mexico is Spanish in much the same way that what is spoken in America is English. It goes over SUPER poorly whenever my dad tries it, haha.
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I just add O and other Hispanic sounding stuff to the ends of regular words.
Guacamole dip = guaco dipolo
Fajitas = bambino con queso
Anything else needs to have pictures so I can say one-a-doseoeos.
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When in doubt, another patented technique of my dadās is to still just speak english, but do it VERY slow and loud, with incredibly exaggerated hand gestures.
He did this once while we were in Singapore. The folks he was talking to thought he was disadvantaged, so they spoke BACK to him the same way. Made my dad happy as a clam.
And if you want a real treat, watch a middle aged white dude mime āinternet cafeā.
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Sometimes I think itās the wiser part of some greater and mysterious plan that I never made it into the Navy and out into the world wearing a uniform that says āHey! Look! Iām American!ā. 
This is one of those times.
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Every time I have traveled to Europe in a non-military capacity Iāve just told everyone Iām Canadian and everything is cool. Even got a Canada pin one time. Works like a charm.
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Thatās pretty brilliant. No way to tell any difference just by looking!