I confess that I really can’t do this anymore. Like, I really cannot do this anymore. It just doesn’t work. There’s no respite from anything. I’m either having a panic attack, shitting myself, crying, working, or doing chores. The guy I paid to organize all of my college stuff (because I got kicked out of my high school for not being vaccinated, yes my parents are anti-vaccine and that cost me a $70,000 scholarship) didn’t do it. None of my college applications are complete, it’s past the deadline, I’m losing my other job because I just can’t sit there and pretend I’m okay anymore, and I have no idea what to do. None. Everything I’ve ever put my work into is worthless. Living doesn’t pay. I hate myself, I hate everyone around me, I hate waking up in the mornings, and my head won. That’s it, my head won. I knew it would happen eventually and now it’s finally here. I can’t take it anymore. I really can’t. If I tell anybody how I’m feeling, I’ll be institutionalized for the next six months and forcefully given 4 or 5 medications that will kill me anyway, because they’ll make me into somebody that was never me to begin with. What do people like me do with their lives anyway? I need help I can’t get.
Dude. I am not qualified to help you, but I bet there might be someone around here who can. If they offer to talk to you, please accept. Sending positive feelings your direction.
Nah, they all talk to me on a regular basis. I’m not really looking for responses because there really aren’t many, but I just had to get this out somewhere because I don’t have anywhere to talk about this in real life. Thanks for taking the time to respond, though. Honestly, I’ve been trying to get the forum director to delete my account because it’s probably not a good idea for me to post all of this shit on a public forum, but I digress. It’s either this or nothing for me.
Just posted this video in @anna_5588’s log, and thought it belonged here, too. Time. Patience. You’re taking one step forward, one step back - but occasionally, you take 1.25 steps forward and only a single step back. Let time and maturity do their things. Please, for all of us pulling for you if not for yourself.
Been EXACTLY where you are. Probably even deeper.
Here’s what happened. IT. PASSED.
All things come to pass. You can only get better when you’ve hit your lowest place in life.
Don’t misinterpret this but self pity is incredibly self destructive. DO NOT fall into that trap. You’re stronger than you know.
Find that strength.
That’s the plan. The lower I go, the stronger I’ll be. Next up - shooting heroin. Kidding, because with my history I had to clarify that. You’re a Marine? You’ve been through worse than me
Marine life isn’t as hard as regular life…Ive lost my mom and little brother to cancer. Friends, too. Been to war. Lost my favorite girl. Lost beloved pets. All my grandparents are gone. Im only 42 but have lived more than most. Life is a lot of pain and heartache. But it makes the good things all the more sweet.
Life hits hard brother. Take it on the chin and keep going forward. It’s in you.
Listening to The Rollins Band on 11 volume helps \m/
Welcome to adulthood. You just described my last 30 years in the crying/shitting falling apart segment.
I just opened the refrigerator with plans of eating the leftover pizza (probably 700 calories). The pizza is gone. I’m guessing my kids are it for lunch. I’m now eating a salad. I don’t know if I should be happy or upset.
Sell your kids on Craigslist China. Issue solved.
You eat my pizza, you do my training… Is all I have to say lol
I am not qualified for professional level help, but you are asking questions everyone asks at some point and I think you are feeling the lack of clear solutions more deeply than most.
Sounds like you have been dealt a pretty crap hand (the anti-vaccine thing is silly, but I think now you can actually request them yourself so you can get into college). Taking loans for school kind of sucks but I think is worth it in the end (I still have probably 10 years on my loans and I don’t regret my decision).
Did you know Starbucks pays for ASU online 100% if you work there 20 hours a week? Might help with the scholarship folding. They offer a ton of online degree options.
I know it’s easier said than done but you have to bluff your way out of that crap hand. “Fake it til you make it” works in a lot of cases.
Thank you. I’m sorry for all of your losses but happy that you can still find peace despite them.
I’m screwed, then.
I couldn’t decide between the regular pretzel pop tarts and the chocolate pretzel pop tarts so I bought a box of both. They lasted two days.
S
Only if you say so.
I’d suggest that you take what you’ve experienced and use it to help others. If you can learn to do that you will win no matter what life throws at you.
Thursday night developed a pretty awful pain in my left nut. I assumed I had crushed it between my legs while lifting that evening so I figured I’d give it some time to rest up. Woke up for work Friday morning, popped an aleve and iced my balls on my drive in. Things felt much better through the day but returned with a vengeance at night. Woke up today (Saturday) with the pain so I headed to a walk-in clinic to get it checked out. He told me I needed to go to emerge and get an ultrasound. Headed to the hospital to get that done. After waiting a few hours it finally happened. Radiologist told me to wait to see a doc again to talk about the results. I asked how long that might take and he said “she’ll want to talk to you ASAP once she sees these results”, which had me worried badddd because they’d found a lump near my left nut. Sat and waited for about an hour and a half for the doc, the whole time convincing myself that I had testicular cancer and my life was over.
Turns out I’ve got an STD. Didn’t think I’d ever be so happy to get that news.
Spent a couple of hours realizing that almost ALL of these Instagram chicks uploading pictures are just well versed in cropping and using liquify when it comes to photoshop.
Like…almost NO ONE looks ANYTHING like their pictures make them out to look. Thank goodness for the sharp-eyed and sharp-handed folks who catch these photos before they’re edited to like no ones business.
I can only imagine how it effects everyone else.
that still sucks, I just got tested and was clean… turns out use a condom with back door stuff LOL.
Yeah the pain is pretty brutal. Seeing as the onset came after a workout I was worried it was something like a hernia or torsion. Sadly an STI was probably best case scenario.
I haven’t used a rubber in years so this was probably the safest form of karma I could’ve got lol. Lesson learned.