Taking this off in a new direction, what do you do when you’re stranded, and you don’t have a roll?
Underwear or socks. Cheap and you can generally do without them for a while so they are dispensible. Well the aren’t really that cheap, i think my boxer briefs are up to around 20 bucks a friggin pair.
[quote]Vegita wrote:
For all you sickos who use a roll a day, I would consider de hairing your ass crack. I have found this to be a great way to conserve on toilet paper as it is generally a clean wipe with just 2 or 3 swipes. I mean, I know if you eat like a horse you shit alot, but even through some of my bulking phases when I was crapping 2-3 times a day, I still only went through a roll every 3 or 4 days.[/quote]
veg is right. dehairing is one of the most effective ways to increase neural efficiency of wiping. the best way to train this is the conjugate wiping system. 1 max effort day a week and one “dynamic” effort day to work on speed. make sure to switch grips and hands every 1-3 weeks so you don’t overtrain. the rest of the wiping is trained in the repetion method 5-12 reps. this is for building hypertrophy of the external anal sphincter and intrinsic muscles of the hand. don’t forget to keep a tight arch and fill your belly full of air and brace your gut into your belt. push out against the knees and go.
rubber bands can be used for contrast alternated in a 2-3 week on/2-3 week off fashion.
GFH.
[quote]The Mage wrote:
Remember to take Feng Shui into account.
And as far as going through a roll a day, all the women in my life do that. For some reason they have to used half a roll at a time.[/quote]
Before I got married, I would go through a four-pack about once a year. I took care of most of my business at work.
Then I got married, and mrs. rainjack went through 4 rolls a week. Now, between my wife and my daughter - we buy it in those 96 roll mega-cases at Sam’s.
Is there a school that women go to that teaches them how to waste t.p.? I’d like to find the instructor, and shoot his ass.
[quote]MartinL wrote:
Taking this off in a new direction, what do you do when you’re stranded, and you don’t have a roll?[/quote]
I used my shirt sleeves ( I ripped them off first) once when I was out running trails when I finished the run I looked way tougher!
Over. My roommate puts it under. I’d kill him if I didn’t need his montly rent so badly. 
[quote]rainjack wrote:
The Mage wrote:
Remember to take Feng Shui into account.
And as far as going through a roll a day, all the women in my life do that. For some reason they have to used half a roll at a time.
Before I got married, I would go through a four-pack about once a year. I took care of most of my business at work.
Then I got married, and mrs. rainjack went through 4 rolls a week. Now, between my wife and my daughter - we buy it in those 96 roll mega-cases at Sam’s.
Is there a school that women go to that teaches them how to waste t.p.? I’d like to find the instructor, and shoot his ass. [/quote]
RJ, how often does Jana check the forums? I’m willing to bet she’s not going to want to see this one.
I think she, more than anyone else, is aware of how many trees give their life each week just so she and my daughter can use 8 freakin feet of t.p. just to dab dry.
But yeah, I got a knot on the back of my head for posting that.
I know I’m late to the debate, but this is an important subject! It has to be “over”… otherwise you have to fumble for the damned loose end.
Also, unless you have a significant other who wants the bathroom to look “nice”, who the hell has time to place the roll in the holder anyway. Talk about a useless repetitive waste of time.
Generally, the roll will perch sideways on the bar quite nicely… especially after a usage or two shrinks it down a little bit.
Basically, I find time spent in the bathroom to be a waste of time, so I like to make sure I keep the consistency to the point that a wipe is simply a formality, without requiring an aneurism to unload, if you catch my drift.
As I was stating in another thread, balance is everything. Conservative and liberal both have their time and place… in this important and ongoing debate.
Oh, I have to go, I think it is time to “vote”…
Which reminds me, why are the ballots so confusing/harsh/ineffective when you use public restrooms… sigh.
Vroom, so true, but since we are discussing an appropriate voting environment what about reading materials? I myself have finished critical magazine articles over three or four different ‘election cycles’!
[quote]mindeffer01 wrote:
I keep mine on the linenrack in front of me as a motivational tool.
You must keep your eyes on the prize,
Otherwise you whon’t gain size,
you’ll have messy thighs,
and your spouse don’t have to compromise.
If its not on the rack,
I gotta reach back,
then clean up my crack,
to stay on track.
Special thanks to William Shakespeare and Johny Cochran.
[/quote]
The man is a poet.Ehh I just leave mine next to the sink on my stack of Espn magazines…I really hate it when my g/f puts it in on the back of the toilet and I knock it off into the toilet…a whole roll of TP down the drain…damn that sucks.
Somewhat related story:
When my sister was little and just learning to use the bathroom by herself, she couldn’t quite wipe herself yet. So, when she was finished, she would sit there and sing as loud as she could:
“Wiiill sooomebodyyyy wipe meeeeee? Wiiillll somebody pleeeeeeease wipe meeee?”
Half of my job, I work out of a small office, just me and my secretary. When I first started there she took me into the bathroom and made me watch while she changed the roll. As time went on, I’d usually end up setting the new roll on top of the bar. This woman would interrupt me from working and ask me to come watch her show me how to change the roll. Then she’d say “Ok, now you show me you can do it.” Luckily, she retired soon after.
[quote]malonetd wrote:
“Wiiill sooomebodyyyy wipe meeeeee? Wiiillll somebody pleeeeeeease wipe meeee?”[/quote]
I hope you tell that story to all of her potential boyfriends.
And you guys think the shit I say is stupid…
[quote]nephorm wrote:
malonetd wrote:
“Wiiill sooomebodyyyy wipe meeeeee? Wiiillll somebody pleeeeeeease wipe meeee?”
I hope you tell that story to all of her potential boyfriends.[/quote]
It’s funny. She a senior in high school now and hates when I tell the story. The joys of being a big brother.
[quote]malonetd wrote:
nephorm wrote:
malonetd wrote:
“Wiiill sooomebodyyyy wipe meeeeee? Wiiillll somebody pleeeeeeease wipe meeee?”
I hope you tell that story to all of her potential boyfriends.
It’s funny. She a senior in high school now and hates when I tell the story. The joys of being a big brother.[/quote]
I would sing it on her prom night…preferably on video.
I’m too lazy to throw out the cardboard on the finished roll. I could check out my floor and tell you how many rolls i’ve used in the last semester.
If I were to put forth the effort I would vote over. My dammned roomate puts it under which is why I dropped the “one square left strategy” in which he is obligated to change the roll because it wasn’t completely finished until he needed it,
Sometimes I think I shit more out than I take in eating. I shit constantly, all time, everywhere, defiling bathrooms across the country. Hi, my name is Randy. “Hi Randy”. I’m a bodybuilder and my ass is toxic. Just ask my wife.
I keep my TP in a large stack within reaching distance, however, it cannot be left next to or on the back of the toilet.
When your friends are drunken fools that love late night mexican food, and vomit and piss everywhere but in the toilet you need to keep that area free of targets.
So large stack about 3 feet away is best.
I hate my friends.