I understand your frustration, and I believe you are doing the right thing. Its not your woman that is insecure, many women are insecure. She married a skinny guy that she wanted, she now has a muscular guy that lots of women want.
Insecurity and self-confidence issues aside, as a husband isn’t it your job to make your wife comfortable and happy?
I’d assure her that everything is gonna be okay, take the kids one night a month for her to go out and do something for her, and that would be that. I’d even word it, "Since I’m doing my thing honey I thought you deserved something special, here go do insert a her activity
As bad as it is, I promise you this could be a lot worse.
Wow, the whole thing seems massively shitty.
she seems super-duper insecure. some women marry a man because they like stability. this usually means that our boy is no alpha and is usually fairly regular and unatractive to other women. For the females this means he is easy to keep and hopefully will do well at his job.
It also seems that you are very much under her control in a few ways. I understand that in a relationship both parties must be willing to work together and agree on things.
But all in all i think she feels threatened by your manginity (funny word). If she gets defensive and doesn’t want to talk about it then tell her that communication is imperative to a healthy relationship. She must start being more mature about this whole situation as you were when she was taking the easy way out with all taht cosmo surgery.
I’m lucky, my GF doesn’t give a shit about my eating habits and training regimen. I could turn into a bit fat shithead and she couldn’t care less, i think 
-chris
Good Luck, Man!
It sounds like you have a life of walking on eggshells from now on. Every time you show emotion or feel strongly about something, it WILL be blamed on the 'roids and “your decision to take them”.
You did the “right” thing in discussing this with your wife before hand, but it sounds like this will become leverage against you for years to come. I’d like to tell you she will be able to overcome her insecurities and become supportive of you in this, but if that was going to happen, it would have been right off the bat.
Sorry, Dude!
I think this is being blown outta proportion. I mean how uspet is she now that you’re on? She’s not throwing your clothes out in the driveway or calling you the second the clock says 10:00:59 and you said you’d call at 10:00:00. Right? Do what you’ve been doing, treat her like you love her and keep plowing her brains out. SHe’ll get the picture after awhile.