Specifically, are women attracted to men they fear?
Or more specifically, are women attracted to men they fear and then it turns out the man is OK?
Or is this just the fucked up women who find me attractive?
This just came to mind because of a recent conversation with a girl I dated in the past. She said that when we met, she thought I was there (at a bar) to kick someone’s ass and was a little afraid of me, but we talked and she was relieved.
Anyway, I’ve had similar comments from several girlfriends/hook ups over the years, and it made me wonder.
I think it’s a biological mechanism whereby the woman is attracted to a man who can protect her. I’ve observed the process first hand and my girlfriend was actually excited about the encounter. I felt I was expected to continue to ‘protect’ her. Needless to say it didn’t work out, although those two years were a great time in my life despite the poor choices I make and still have to live with. BTW i never start fights. Trouble often attracts me especially when I am accompanied by an attractive woman. Another biological mechanism in lonely men I guess.
I would say that there is not necessarily a causal relationship (fear leads to attraction) but rather that there are some male characteristics that attractive to women and also potentially frightening.
Anyway seems to me like women are the most turned on when they feel a little scared but safe at the same time.[/quote]
Yeah most the girls I’ve dated are turned on by my guns and bushcraft knives. Freaks me out a bit. I’d nate to wake up at night with weapon aimed at me to fulfill her fantasies.
There is a a much more sinister hypothesis to explain the fact that women are attracted to men that scare them. Imagine two tribes of cave men that compete for resources, etc., often violently. Eventually, the men from one tribe wipe out the men from the other tribe. The women of the losing tribe are probably rightfully afraid of the men of the winning tribe.
But those women that find that fear to be a turn on and offer sex to the victors are the most likely to survive and reproduce. In the alternate scenario where their tribe wins, the women probably won’t encounter the dangerous men anyways and so their attraction or lack thereof is irrelevant to their survival.
More generally, when faced with a dangerous man, offering sex is a valid survival mechanism for a woman. Since our instincts and natural attraction urges are simply an inclination to do what will give us the best chance of survival and reproduction, it makes sense that fear turns women on.
I find this explanation more plausible since dangerous and good protector don’t necessarily go together (there’s some overlap but if you think about it, the guy that will actively protect a woman is very different than the guy that she probably sees as actively dangerous). The only real protection that attraction to a dangerous man offers is that he himself is less likely to be a threat.
There’s a classic psychology study (can’t remember offhand who did it) that had male subjects taking a survey from a hot woman either on a high suspension bridge or off it. She asked them to call her if they had any questions, and the experimenters used this as a measurement of attraction. Significantly more guys on the bridge called.
The experimenters explained this by suggesting that the brain uses physiological cues (at least in part) in the determination of emotion. Because both fear and attraction are fairly high arousal emotions, they have some physiological cues in common, so some part of the person’s fear might have been misinterpreted as attraction. It’s like when you feel like shit, but force yourself to smile, and you start feeling better.
Anyway seems to me like women are the most turned on when they feel a little scared but safe at the same time.[/quote]
Yeah most the girls I’ve dated are turned on by my guns and bushcraft knives. Freaks me out a bit. I’d nate to wake up at night with weapon aimed at me to fulfill her fantasies.[/quote]
Honest answer. You’re tall, rich, fit, and reportedly good looking from your own posts. Thinking with your dick rather than selecting a quality partner gets everyone in trouble. In a small town everyone knows who has status and money. My guess is you’re letting these women in your life rather than purusing more suitable women for LTR’s. Not judging either cause lord knows I’ve made some poor decisions in regards to selecting quality women. I’m done with batshit crazy women.
Just being honest, dont blow up my house bro! (humor)
[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:
Specifically, are women attracted to men they fear?
Or more specifically, are women attracted to men they fear and then it turns out the man is OK?
Or is this just the fucked up women who find me attractive?
This just came to mind because of a recent conversation with a girl I dated in the past. She said that when we met, she thought I was there (at a bar) to kick someone’s ass and was a little afraid of me, but we talked and she was relieved.
Anyway, I’ve had similar comments from several girlfriends/hook ups over the years, and it made me wonder.[/quote]
IDk maybe man. A lot of women/people say that I look scary but I think it’s more in the I’m going to blow up a building murder you in your sleep sort of way (No NSA I don’t plan on doing any of these things) and I’m not all that great with women. I mean women are stupid and think being tall and big makes you an automatic bad ass or having tattoos. So if you look like a stereotypical “bad ass” I can see it.
[quote]Captnoblivious wrote:
My guess is you’re letting these women in your life rather than purusing more suitable women for LTR’s. [/quote]
Sure.
This was more of a “is this women in general” thing vs. “pyschos I attract” thing.
Rather pleased it seems to be widespread.
But, yes, you are correct as to my personal situation. The women I tend to meet are generally on vacation and just want to have a fling or are locals to whom I probably remotely related. Not exactly LTR material.
And the oilfield, for all the money it has, does not exactly attract quality women.
[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:
Specifically, are women attracted to men they fear?
[/quote]
Yes
No, you only need to be non threathening to HER.
Probably not, but fucked up women need much, much more of that vibe and few men have, it so you are their natural target.
[quote]
This just came to mind because of a recent conversation with a girl I dated in the past. She said that when we met, she thought I was there (at a bar) to kick someone’s ass and was a little afraid of me, but we talked and she was relieved.
Anyway, I’ve had similar comments from several girlfriends/hook ups over the years, and it made me wonder.[/quote]
One of the sentences I like the most is “At first I thought you were an asshole, but…”, because, sex.
If I hear that I know that my work is practically done.
[quote]Captnoblivious wrote:
My guess is you’re letting these women in your life rather than purusing more suitable women for LTR’s. [/quote]
Sure.
This was more of a “is this women in general” thing vs. “pyschos I attract” thing.
Rather pleased it seems to be widespread.
But, yes, you are correct as to my personal situation. The women I tend to meet are generally on vacation and just want to have a fling or are locals to whom I probably remotely related. Not exactly LTR material.
And the oilfield, for all the money it has, does not exactly attract quality women.
[/quote]
I agree, there are very few quality women in the oil field. You may have to import one.
