Dane Cook
Nick Swardson (I was just over at the meat and produce store and there was this guy with a flamethrower. And he had a baby. And he held the baby up and said, “Look everybody, I am going to burn this baby”. It was scary. I started to cry.)
Some may not agree with this, but I think a lot of the humor is lost when just listening to it. I there are some that can still do it, but I still think I laugh more when I see them live or on television. There are times when just listening to a routine that the comedian is quite at the end of a bit and the crowd laughs even more. I find that body language can really make a difference.
Catherine and I saw Dane Cook’s opening monologue on SNL recently and we both thought it was hilarious. A few days later I heard a portion of it on the radio and it just wasn’t as funny.
Christopher
[quote]Dan Fouts wrote:
hedberg hedberg hedberg … it just never gets old[/quote]
Ah man… how could I have forgotten Mitch Hedberg??? Guy was a freaking genius! (RIP, man…)
dane cook,
joe rogan is waaay funnier than people give him credit for.
Damon Waynes and Eddie murphy take the cake though.
much love on the dave atell note
Have you ever been drinking and blacked out, or as i like to call it “time travelled”? your drinking and youre at the bar, you pass out, you wake up youre at another bar, you pass out again and your at McDonalds… WORKING, three years later; you still havent made manager yet. you wanna quit, but you cant…cuz youre banging that chick on the fryolater…they may say she’s retarted. But those titties aint retarted!
Mitch Hedberg.
I know of no one funnier. I only wish there was more.
Richie Shelton
Mitch quotes:
I bought myself a parrot. The parrot talked. But it did not say, “I’m hungry,”… so it died.
Dogs are forever in the push up postion.
I’d hate to be a giraffe with a sore throat. God damnit anyway!
This one time I was in a convenience store, and a guy came up and asked me, “What’s the score?” and I said, “What is the game? If it’s a competition between me and you, and the object is to ask the other guy questions he doesn’t give a shit about, then you are winning, one to nothing.”
I want to go fishing and catch a fishstick. That would be the ultimate convenience. I could easily get a job working for Mrs. Paul’s.
All McDonalds commercials end the same way: “prices and participation may vary.” I want to open my own McDonalds and not participate in anything. I want to be a stubborn McDonalds owner. “Cheeseburgers? Nope. We got spaghetti!..And blankets. But we are not affiliated with that clown, he attracts too many children.”
I think Pizza Hut is the cockiest pizza chain on the planet, because Pizza Hut will accept all competitor’s coupons. That makes me wish I had my own pizza place. “Mitch’s Pizzeria … This week’s coupon: unlimited free pizza. Special Note: coupon not good at any of the Mitch’s Pizza locations. Free pizza oven with purchase of a small Coke. Two-for Tuesday: buy one pizza, get one franchise free.”
I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.
I like the FedEx driver because he’s a drug dealer and he doesn’t even know it. And he’s always on time. I like my drugs to have a tracking number. Then when my friend says, “Mitchell, where’s the drugs?” I just say, “Call the 1-800 number.” Your drugs were loaded onto a van at 7:30 AM and will arrive on time. Perfect, that’s what I paid for.
I think Visine is only used by potheads. Who else would use Visine? “I use Visine because I don’t want people to know that I was swimming.”
OK, I could go on for days with this, but I’ll stop now.
If you can get your hands on Richard Pryors greatest hits, get it. It’s a little dated, but you’ll laugh your ass off.
[quote]Blood is Metal wrote:
Dave Chappelle and Brian Reegan.[/quote]
“I’m the two-plate guy!” CLANK! CLANK!
When Reegan did that gym bit I was laughing so hard I started coughing my ass off.
No one’s mentioned Greg Berendht (sp?) or Nick DiPaulo, have they?
[quote]Blood is Metal wrote:
Dan Fouts wrote:
hedberg hedberg hedberg … it just never gets old
Ah man… how could I have forgotten Mitch Hedberg??? Guy was a freaking genius! (RIP, man…)[/quote]
I was fortunate enough to see him at the “IMPROVE” in Irvine in 2004 … our table was just on the side of the stage … if you know Mitches “stiyle”, you know that he almost never looked forward or up or anywhere you would somone standing on a stage to look … basically, he was standing sideways looking kinda at me all damned night … at one point, i actually fell out of my chair
here’s how you know if the comedian is good … when you leave, your abs hurt, but you can’t remember a single damned joke … all energy is consumed by laughter, and there is nothing left to stuff jokes into the memory bank … a mitch induced momentary lapse of brain function
my buddy and i spent the next two days driving around california, drinking wine, and talking like mitch … his wife and my girlfriend thought we were retarded … they were right
and damn him for leaving us ;( he and farley just had to do it … does anyone else realize what we have lost?
also, for those of you that get the bob and tom show (LA), mike berbiglia is pretty damned funny
whomever said that one needs to see the comedian to get the full effect has never heard a good comedian … the best ones (hedberg) do it by material, a unique voice and delivery, etc etc etc to make theor own “stiyle”
Dan
[quote]Zap Branigan wrote:
demonthrall wrote:
…
jim gaffigan
…
`I caught his special “Beyong the Pale” on comedy central last night. My wife and I were laughing so hard tears were running down our faces and we woke the kids.
His bit on Jesus was awesome. I am going to hell for sure.[/quote]
“They’re making a new hotpocket now, it’s a hotpocket stuffed inside a hotpocket. It tastes just like a hotpocket. I’m going to go stick my head in a microwave now”
“This guy’s crazy…”
I may be dating myself, but Woody Allen’s stand up is much funnier than most people give him credit for.
Besides Jim Norton, I love Hedberg, Patrice O’Neal, Bill Burr, DiPaulo, and stupid Rich Voss
Sam Kinison
Chris Rock
Dennis Miller
There is also a stand up called ‘Hurricane’. Don’t know much about him, but what I did hear had me crying my eyes out.
[quote]simon-hecubus wrote:
When Reegan did that gym bit I was laughing so hard I started coughing my ass off.[/quote]
trying to find some of Brian Regan’s bit on ordering Chef Boyardee at an italian joint. No luck yet. But that is what got me hooked on his stuff.
Peter Kay and Al Murray… Fellow brits will know who i mean…