Extreme Wedding Preparation?

Off Topic
61

[quote]Dr.Matt581 wrote:

[quote]OBoile wrote:

[quote]Dr.Matt581 wrote:

[quote]four60 wrote:
I Just don’t understand. The whole wedding drama thing. 10-50 thousand and beyond for a wedding and honeymoon and you may not even own a home. Starving yourself,Is that one day worth all of this?[/quote]

I don’t think that men are capable of understanding how women view weddings. I have only begun planning mine with my fiance and I already know it is going to cost a lot more than the number you quoted, and I don’t even care if we have a wedding or just go to a JOP. The important thing to me is that I am married to her. To her on the other hand, this is her day to have everything the way she wants, gets to be the center of attention, and gets to show everyone she knows that she has found her perfect match. Basically, she gets to be a princess for one day, which I guess is why they go crazy planning these things and doing stuff like in the OP.[/quote]
This sounds to me like a potentially large red flag. If you can afford it (and given that your ID has “Dr” in it, maybe you can) then no big deal. But if you are spending > 50k and you can’t afford it, that says to me that your bride to be is more concerned with showing everyone she’s getting married than with your finanical future together.

I got married for about 15k. It was me who wanted the wedding as I wanted to throw a party for my family and friends. My wife didn’t diet, didn’t care about crap like what table cloths we had, a wedding cake or flowers beyond what we could pick in my parents’ back yard. In the end, she still felt like a princess and had an amazing time. There really is no need to have everything “perfect” or spend huge amounts of money (again, if you can afford it, then go nuts if you want).

IMO the more you try for perfect, the more you stress about it. You’re getting married, that pretty much makes it a great day regardless of anything else that happens.[/quote]

Yes, we are both doctors, although according to some on this forum I need to specify that we are not MDs for some reason. We are both well established in our fields and make a very good living, in my case both from my salary at my university and patents that I hold. A six-figure wedding, or close to it, is not out of the ordinary for people in our income bracket so I am not worried about it being any kind of a red flag and we are not taking any loans out for our wedding. We have more than enough saved up.
[/quote]
Hey “Dr”, the deal is Dr. is reserved for actual medical doctors, period. A whole lotta people got doctorate degrees, those who use Dr. are seen as looking for attention, affirmation, general insecurities. My stepfather has two doctorates, he’s not a doctor and doesn’t use it in his title. He filled me in on this gem of info…

62

[quote]celtic57 wrote:
^ This exactly, cause if you’re a Doctor of Education, or Economics or Philosophy you’re not much help to me if I’m bleeding out or need emergency care. It’s great you have the higher education but not much help when you need a Doctor and not a PhD.[/quote]

Yeah, 'coz If you’re bleeding out the first thing on your mind is to interview the person who’ll potentially save your life…“certified in first aid? Fuck off. I’ll bleed here until the surgeon arrives”.

63

[quote]strangemeadow wrote:

[quote]Dr.Matt581 wrote:

[quote]OBoile wrote:

[quote]Dr.Matt581 wrote:

[quote]four60 wrote:
I Just don’t understand. The whole wedding drama thing. 10-50 thousand and beyond for a wedding and honeymoon and you may not even own a home. Starving yourself,Is that one day worth all of this?[/quote]

I don’t think that men are capable of understanding how women view weddings. I have only begun planning mine with my fiance and I already know it is going to cost a lot more than the number you quoted, and I don’t even care if we have a wedding or just go to a JOP. The important thing to me is that I am married to her. To her on the other hand, this is her day to have everything the way she wants, gets to be the center of attention, and gets to show everyone she knows that she has found her perfect match. Basically, she gets to be a princess for one day, which I guess is why they go crazy planning these things and doing stuff like in the OP.[/quote]
This sounds to me like a potentially large red flag. If you can afford it (and given that your ID has “Dr” in it, maybe you can) then no big deal. But if you are spending > 50k and you can’t afford it, that says to me that your bride to be is more concerned with showing everyone she’s getting married than with your finanical future together.

I got married for about 15k. It was me who wanted the wedding as I wanted to throw a party for my family and friends. My wife didn’t diet, didn’t care about crap like what table cloths we had, a wedding cake or flowers beyond what we could pick in my parents’ back yard. In the end, she still felt like a princess and had an amazing time. There really is no need to have everything “perfect” or spend huge amounts of money (again, if you can afford it, then go nuts if you want).

IMO the more you try for perfect, the more you stress about it. You’re getting married, that pretty much makes it a great day regardless of anything else that happens.[/quote]

Yes, we are both doctors, although according to some on this forum I need to specify that we are not MDs for some reason. We are both well established in our fields and make a very good living, in my case both from my salary at my university and patents that I hold. A six-figure wedding, or close to it, is not out of the ordinary for people in our income bracket so I am not worried about it being any kind of a red flag and we are not taking any loans out for our wedding. We have more than enough saved up.
[/quote]
Hey “Dr”, the deal is Dr. is reserved for actual medical doctors, period. A whole lotta people got doctorate degrees, those who use Dr. are seen as looking for attention, affirmation, general insecurities. My stepfather has two doctorates, he’s not a doctor and doesn’t use it in his title. He filled me in on this gem of info…
[/quote]

64

[quote]strangemeadow wrote:

Hey “Dr”, the deal is Dr. is reserved for actual medical doctors, period. A whole lotta people got doctorate degrees, those who use Dr. are seen as looking for attention, affirmation, general insecurities. My stepfather has two doctorates, he’s not a doctor and doesn’t use it in his title. He filled me in on this gem of info…
[/quote]

No, the title of doctor is reserved for people with a doctorate, regardless of what field they have it in. My job requires me to be a doctor. If your stepfather really went through two doctoral programs and decided not to, or could not, get a job that requires a doctorate that is his deal. I introduce myself as Dr. in formal/professional situations because that is my title and anything else is inappropriate, not to mention wrong.

65

[quote]otar wrote:

[quote]X-Factor wrote:
No one doubts it’s hard work. But if someone introduced themselves as “imhungry, esq”. Wouldn’t you want to punch them in the nuts. Or if richard branson said “i’m sir branson”. Dick punch again no?[/quote]

I think Matt is primarily talking about conferences and the like where like any other professional gathering there are certain expectations. If he were to attend one of these functions he likely wouldn’t be on a first name basis with the majority of people attending the function and by introducing himself as Doctor he is immediately informing people that he is a primary investigator or at least post doc and not a grad student.[/quote]

Exactly.

66

[quote]Dr.Matt581 wrote:

[quote]strangemeadow wrote:

Hey “Dr”, the deal is Dr. is reserved for actual medical doctors, period. A whole lotta people got doctorate degrees, those who use Dr. are seen as looking for attention, affirmation, general insecurities. My stepfather has two doctorates, he’s not a doctor and doesn’t use it in his title. He filled me in on this gem of info…
[/quote]

No, the title of doctor is reserved for people with a doctorate, regardless of what field they have it in. My job requires me to be a doctor. If your stepfather really went through two doctoral programs and decided not to, or could not, get a job that requires a doctorate that is his deal. I introduce myself as Dr. in formal/professional situations because that is my title and anything else is inappropriate, not to mention wrong.
[/quote]
So is this a formal/professional situation?
btw, he has one in mathematics and one in astronomy, is a retired professor, multiple patent holder and general bad ass in knowledge. Jesus, he builds his own telescopes! But he’s Canadian so there’s the politeness factor…
Still.

67

You people are really trying to attack a guy who got a PhD and say he can’t call himself Dr.? if you get a PhD you technically are a doctor, not a medical doctor but still a doctor. Just because the average person thinks of a medical doctor when they hear “doctor” does not mean they are right. My uncle has a doctorate, though I’ve never seen him mention it. It’s his choice.

And yeah for formal occasions why wouldn’t you introduce yourself as Dr.? It’s not like he’s walking in the store and going up to each person saying “Hello, im Dr. Whatever”. It’s not prickish, its expected in some settings.

68

[quote]strangemeadow wrote:
But he’s Canadian…[/quote]

So he plays hockey?

I can assume this because all Canadians play hockey. (all of the ones on the penguins, anyways)

So that equals all Canadians. Just like Doctors. :wink:

69

[quote]strangemeadow wrote:

So is this a formal/professional situation?
btw, he has one in mathematics and one in astronomy, is a retired professor, multiple patent holder and general bad ass in knowledge. Jesus, he builds his own telescopes! But he’s Canadian so there’s the politeness factor…
Still.[/quote]

No, and in case you haven’t noticed I do not ask people here to call me “Dr.” I am fine with Matt. Some refer to me as Doc and that is fine too, it is what most people call me in real life anyway. I don’t know why but they do. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I am a doctor. Or maybe I remind them of the Doc from Back to the Future, I don’t know.

70

496×594 76.9 KB

Not real doctors…

71

[quote]strangemeadow wrote:

[quote]Dr.Matt581 wrote:

[quote]strangemeadow wrote:

Hey “Dr”, the deal is Dr. is reserved for actual medical doctors, period. A whole lotta people got doctorate degrees, those who use Dr. are seen as looking for attention, affirmation, general insecurities. My stepfather has two doctorates, he’s not a doctor and doesn’t use it in his title. He filled me in on this gem of info…
[/quote]

No, the title of doctor is reserved for people with a doctorate, regardless of what field they have it in. My job requires me to be a doctor. If your stepfather really went through two doctoral programs and decided not to, or could not, get a job that requires a doctorate that is his deal. I introduce myself as Dr. in formal/professional situations because that is my title and anything else is inappropriate, not to mention wrong.
[/quote]
So is this a formal/professional situation?
btw, he has one in mathematics and one in astronomy, is a retired professor, multiple patent holder and general bad ass in knowledge. Jesus, he builds his own telescopes! But he’s Canadian so there’s the politeness factor…
Still.[/quote]
I’m Canadian. I consider people with PhD to be doctors. They can absolutely use “Dr” when introducing themselves.

72

[quote]OBoile wrote:

[quote]strangemeadow wrote:

[quote]Dr.Matt581 wrote:

[quote]strangemeadow wrote:

Hey “Dr”, the deal is Dr. is reserved for actual medical doctors, period. A whole lotta people got doctorate degrees, those who use Dr. are seen as looking for attention, affirmation, general insecurities. My stepfather has two doctorates, he’s not a doctor and doesn’t use it in his title. He filled me in on this gem of info…
[/quote]

No, the title of doctor is reserved for people with a doctorate, regardless of what field they have it in. My job requires me to be a doctor. If your stepfather really went through two doctoral programs and decided not to, or could not, get a job that requires a doctorate that is his deal. I introduce myself as Dr. in formal/professional situations because that is my title and anything else is inappropriate, not to mention wrong.
[/quote]
So is this a formal/professional situation?
btw, he has one in mathematics and one in astronomy, is a retired professor, multiple patent holder and general bad ass in knowledge. Jesus, he builds his own telescopes! But he’s Canadian so there’s the politeness factor…
Still.[/quote]
I’m Canadian. I consider people with PhD to be doctors. They can absolutely use “Dr” when introducing themselves.[/quote]

As am I and I have yet to work with an MD or PhD that has introduced themselves as Doctor outside of a formal setting like a job interview. Even to the undergraduate students coming to work in the lab I’ve usually seen Doctors tell them to use their first name.

73

[quote]OBoile wrote:

[quote]strangemeadow wrote:

[quote]Dr.Matt581 wrote:

[quote]strangemeadow wrote:

Hey “Dr”, the deal is Dr. is reserved for actual medical doctors, period. A whole lotta people got doctorate degrees, those who use Dr. are seen as looking for attention, affirmation, general insecurities. My stepfather has two doctorates, he’s not a doctor and doesn’t use it in his title. He filled me in on this gem of info…
[/quote]

No, the title of doctor is reserved for people with a doctorate, regardless of what field they have it in. My job requires me to be a doctor. If your stepfather really went through two doctoral programs and decided not to, or could not, get a job that requires a doctorate that is his deal. I introduce myself as Dr. in formal/professional situations because that is my title and anything else is inappropriate, not to mention wrong.
[/quote]
So is this a formal/professional situation?
btw, he has one in mathematics and one in astronomy, is a retired professor, multiple patent holder and general bad ass in knowledge. Jesus, he builds his own telescopes! But he’s Canadian so there’s the politeness factor…
Still.[/quote]
I’m Canadian. I consider people with PhD to be doctors. They can absolutely use “Dr” when introducing themselves.[/quote]
^^ See, that’s what I’m talking about, you Canadians are too nice. Damn you Hosers!
(just kidding, love our friends of the north. In Vermont we call Canada The Great Parking Lot to The North)
Not kidding on that one :wink:

74

[quote]X-Factor wrote:
No one doubts it’s hard work. But if someone introduced themselves as “imhungry, esq”. Wouldn’t you want to punch them in the nuts. Or if richard branson said “i’m sir branson”. Dick punch again no?[/quote]

I know ppl who do this. I know ppl who always intro themselves as Dr. whatever, no matter if they have an MD or a DDS or a PhD or whatever kind of doctorate. Shit, I knew a lady who intro’d herself as Mrs. Dr. whatever. She was only the wife of a doctor and INSISTED on being Mrs. Dr. because that has much more cache than just a regular Mrs.

75

[quote]Grneyes wrote:

[quote]X-Factor wrote:
No one doubts it’s hard work. But if someone introduced themselves as “imhungry, esq”. Wouldn’t you want to punch them in the nuts. Or if richard branson said “i’m sir branson”. Dick punch again no?[/quote]

I know ppl who do this. I know ppl who always intro themselves as Dr. whatever, no matter if they have an MD or a DDS or a PhD or whatever kind of doctorate. Shit, I knew a lady who intro’d herself as Mrs. Dr. whatever. She was only the wife of a doctor and INSISTED on being Mrs. Dr. because that has much more cache than just a regular Mrs.[/quote]
It’s my understanding that if your husband is a MEDICAL Dr, you can call yourself Mrs. Dr. Wannabestuckupinsecurebitch
Or something like that…

76

[quote]strangemeadow wrote:

[quote]Dr.Matt581 wrote:

[quote]OBoile wrote:

[quote]Dr.Matt581 wrote:

[quote]four60 wrote:
I Just don’t understand. The whole wedding drama thing. 10-50 thousand and beyond for a wedding and honeymoon and you may not even own a home. Starving yourself,Is that one day worth all of this?[/quote]

I don’t think that men are capable of understanding how women view weddings. I have only begun planning mine with my fiance and I already know it is going to cost a lot more than the number you quoted, and I don’t even care if we have a wedding or just go to a JOP. The important thing to me is that I am married to her. To her on the other hand, this is her day to have everything the way she wants, gets to be the center of attention, and gets to show everyone she knows that she has found her perfect match. Basically, she gets to be a princess for one day, which I guess is why they go crazy planning these things and doing stuff like in the OP.[/quote]
This sounds to me like a potentially large red flag. If you can afford it (and given that your ID has “Dr” in it, maybe you can) then no big deal. But if you are spending > 50k and you can’t afford it, that says to me that your bride to be is more concerned with showing everyone she’s getting married than with your finanical future together.

I got married for about 15k. It was me who wanted the wedding as I wanted to throw a party for my family and friends. My wife didn’t diet, didn’t care about crap like what table cloths we had, a wedding cake or flowers beyond what we could pick in my parents’ back yard. In the end, she still felt like a princess and had an amazing time. There really is no need to have everything “perfect” or spend huge amounts of money (again, if you can afford it, then go nuts if you want).

IMO the more you try for perfect, the more you stress about it. You’re getting married, that pretty much makes it a great day regardless of anything else that happens.[/quote]

Yes, we are both doctors, although according to some on this forum I need to specify that we are not MDs for some reason. We are both well established in our fields and make a very good living, in my case both from my salary at my university and patents that I hold. A six-figure wedding, or close to it, is not out of the ordinary for people in our income bracket so I am not worried about it being any kind of a red flag and we are not taking any loans out for our wedding. We have more than enough saved up.
[/quote]
Hey “Dr”, the deal is Dr. is reserved for actual medical doctors, period. A whole lotta people got doctorate degrees, those who use Dr. are seen as looking for attention, affirmation, general insecurities. My stepfather has two doctorates, he’s not a doctor and doesn’t use it in his title. He filled me in on this gem of info…
[/quote]

So are you saying Dr. Indiana Jones, who IS referred to as Doctor Jones is not a real doctor? I mean, what’s the point of having a DOCTORATE if you can’t call yourself a doctor? Isn’t that the whole point of obtaining a DOCTORATE? In any subject? WTF? Why spend all that time and money?

77

[quote]Grneyes wrote:

[quote]X-Factor wrote:
No one doubts it’s hard work. But if someone introduced themselves as “imhungry, esq”. Wouldn’t you want to punch them in the nuts. Or if richard branson said “i’m sir branson”. Dick punch again no?[/quote]

I know ppl who do this. I know ppl who always intro themselves as Dr. whatever, no matter if they have an MD or a DDS or a PhD or whatever kind of doctorate. Shit, I knew a lady who intro’d herself as Mrs. Dr. whatever. She was only the wife of a doctor and INSISTED on being Mrs. Dr. because that has much more cache than just a regular Mrs.[/quote]
No you don’t.

78

[quote]strangemeadow wrote:

[quote]Grneyes wrote:

[quote]X-Factor wrote:
No one doubts it’s hard work. But if someone introduced themselves as “imhungry, esq”. Wouldn’t you want to punch them in the nuts. Or if richard branson said “i’m sir branson”. Dick punch again no?[/quote]

I know ppl who do this. I know ppl who always intro themselves as Dr. whatever, no matter if they have an MD or a DDS or a PhD or whatever kind of doctorate. Shit, I knew a lady who intro’d herself as Mrs. Dr. whatever. She was only the wife of a doctor and INSISTED on being Mrs. Dr. because that has much more cache than just a regular Mrs.[/quote]
It’s my understanding that if your husband is a MEDICAL Dr, you can call yourself Mrs. Dr. Wannabestuckupinsecurebitch
Or something like that…
[/quote]

So, if she was the wife of a DDS, she couldn’t do that? Or the wife of a PhD? Where are these rules? Is there a manual somewhere you’re reading from?

79

[quote]otar wrote:

As am I and I have yet to work with an MD or PhD that has introduced themselves as Doctor outside of a formal setting like a job interview. Even to the undergraduate students coming to work in the lab I’ve usually seen Doctors tell them to use their first name.[/quote]

Congratulations, but that is not the norm, especially at major universities and research facilities. You seem to be implying that you know a lot of PhDs and MDs, but I would be willing to bet that you are some undergrad student with no hope of being accepted into a doctorate program. We must maintain a certain level of professionalism, and it is inappropriate for my students and people I work with/meet at formal events to address me by my first name unless I am actually friends with them.

80

[quote]Dr.Matt581 wrote:

[quote]otar wrote:

As am I and I have yet to work with an MD or PhD that has introduced themselves as Doctor outside of a formal setting like a job interview. Even to the undergraduate students coming to work in the lab I’ve usually seen Doctors tell them to use their first name.[/quote]

Congratulations, but that is not the norm, especially at major universities and research facilities. You seem to be implying that you know a lot of PhDs and MDs, but I would be willing to bet that you are some undergrad student with no hope of being accepted into a doctorate program. We must maintain a certain level of professionalism, and it is inappropriate for my students and people I work with/meet at formal events to address me by my first name unless I am actually friends with them.[/quote]

This. If you’re not being called Dr. whatever, then I would be calling you Professor whatever. Most college professors ARE doctors, usually PhDs, so calling them Dr. Whatever would be totally appropriate.