how about an annulment for the sake of the children?
[quote]DBCooper wrote:
I mean, what sort of quality woman do you think this guy is going to get if he either A) married a chick who is 300 lbs, or B) married a chick who then ballooned up to 300 lbs while he sat there and watched that nightmare unfold in front of him? Sure, it’s possible, but when was the last time you heard of a really good-looking woman getting up to 300 lbs? Anna Nicole Smith? That’s all I can think of.[/quote]
I find it sad when members jump to conclusions like this. Are you actually blaming him for her inability to hold up her end of the bargain? Ever heard of the phrase “love is blind?”
A close friend of mine and a highly health conscious individual experienced this very problem during his first marriage. This woman played the savvy fertile lover up untill the knot was tied. It was then that she decided to nurture a side affair with food. Each year she gained 10 kgs and each year he bought her more trainers, tracksuits, home equipment, gym memberships, coaches, and dietitians. When he pleaded for her to change, she spoke in riddles, admonishing that he ought to love her for who she is.
Six years and 60 kilograms later he filed for divorce. He told me he loved the woman he had married, yet tragically someone else had taken her place.
Even though marriage is uncharted territory for me, I feel the OP’s pain because I know what it’s like to lose respect for the one you are in a relationship with and never entirely regain it
[quote]Tiribulus wrote:
ME ME ME ME ME ME ME.
There’s a desperate hurting women over there who probably hates to open her eyes in the morning and all anybody (just about) cares about is whether this guy is happy. Yeah, she’s probably angry and nasty and impossible to get along with on top of being obese too. That’s how hurting people are. None of that is the point. Marriage (on the human level), including sex, is ALL about GIVING every bit of yourself on every level and in every way to another and ESPECIALLY when they least deserve it and are most difficult to live with. That’s when they need you most.
[/quote]
^^^^ I agree wholeheartedly with this.
[quote]Tiribulus wrote: Marriage was designed by God, one man and one woman, for life, as an earthly illustration of the covenant relationship of Christ with His church bride. He GAVE Himself in a gruesome bloody death to redeem His people, his bride, from death themselves. He commands husbands to love their wives this way. (see the 5th chapter of the apostle Paul’s letter to the church at Ephesus) No matter what else may happen, children are equipped for life by watching their fathers love their mothers. Of course, we won’t do that on our own. How well I know, having learned this lesson the very hard way by almost destroying the wife of my youth with my own self serving childishness. Even after I should have known better.
[/quote]
^^^This however, got way too churchy for me.
[quote]Navin Johnson wrote:
I am curious, my wife is over 300 pounds and has no ambition to change. Even failed with lap band surgery. Ugh[/quote]
It looks like you can’t stand at your own feet(economically speaking).I would first take care of that. Then, I would have an open discussion with her. If she was willing to change, then good, if not, leave her. You deserve a woman, not a whale, you are a man, not greenpeace.
[quote]niksamaras wrote:
You deserve a woman, not a whale, you are a man, not greenpeace.[/quote]
Printing this on the back of a t-shirt!
You could start here:
marriedmansexlife.com/take-the-red-pill/
What you cannot do is pose an ultimatum, because those always reveal a perceived position of weakness.
I am not entirely sure that dicorce is a good idea, but neither is giving the example of a man sticking it out in a sex and loveless marriage.
This is thoroughly fucked up.
Jesus, this whole marriage deal started to look so appealing and now this.
[quote]orion wrote:
You could start here:
marriedmansexlife.com/take-the-red-pill/
What you cannot do is pose an ultimatum, because those always reveal a perceived position of weakness.
I am not entirely sure that dicorce is a good idea, but neither is giving the example of a man sticking it out in a sex and loveless marriage.
This is thoroughly fucked up.
Jesus, this whole marriage deal started to look so appealing and now this.[/quote]
To all, sorry but there are three sides to every story.
Dont know you OP, however I honestly really doubt you are 100% free of your own issues in your marriage. Most issues with marriage difficulties both parties are at fault. Splitting percentages is counter productive, sitting down and having open communication with your spouse is more important than anything.
The funny thing is if you ditch the wife for being less than perfect, one day the woman you end up with will ditch you for the same reason. If you want someone to love you in spite of your flaws you have to do the same.
Then you have to consider that what did you end up with (if you had an affair) but a woman that doesn’t respect the marriage vows? After all she did have an affair with you while you were still married. If you think this scenario will even garner a trustful long lasting relationship I have a bridge to sell you. Besides, everyone I have ever met that went this route lived to regret it and wished they could turn back time and not had the affair.
Having spent 25 years in a majority female environment (Hospital Pharmacy Tech) those that are available are available for a reason. Either they are brain damaged (didn’t know their father, don’t know how to relate to a man), used up sluts (when they were younger they would screw anything that moved only to discover no man wants a woman long term that doesn’t respect themselves), or they are bitter because their former spouse cheated on them and they are waiting for the day they can find a man to give some pay back to.
Weight comes and weight goes but character remains.
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]orion wrote:
You could start here:
marriedmansexlife.com/take-the-red-pill/
What you cannot do is pose an ultimatum, because those always reveal a perceived position of weakness.
I am not entirely sure that dicorce is a good idea, but neither is giving the example of a man sticking it out in a sex and loveless marriage.
This is thoroughly fucked up.
Jesus, this whole marriage deal started to look so appealing and now this.[/quote]
To all, sorry but there are three sides to every story.
Dont know you OP, however I honestly really doubt you are 100% free of your own issues in your marriage. Most issues with marriage difficulties both parties are at fault. Splitting percentages is counter productive, sitting down and having open communication with your spouse is more important than anything. [/quote]
Yeah, there has to be more to it than the fact that she has just put on a bit of weight. Reading between the lines it doesn’t sound like he likes her much at all.
OP, If everything else in your marriage is good but you are considering cheating on your wife because she has gained a few pounds (probably after having your kids) then you’re shallow. If everything about your marriage is bad, do the right thing and get a divorce.
What do you weigh incidentally? are you balding? does she find you attractive?
Some of the folks in here need to take a long look in the mirror. She broke her end of the deal? I don’t remember the priest saying anything about my wife staying super hot or maintaining my idea of her ideal weight. Must have slept through that part of the service I guess. On the other hand, OP, you have a duty to be FAITHFUL to your wife. That is part of the deal.
Instead of asking about cheating you should be a man and have a frank and open talk with your wife. You’re concerned about her weight, but you can’t even get health insurance on your own, seriously? What does that say about you? Maybe she got fat because she has to work 40+ hours a week to support YOU and your kids, did you think of that?
Be a MAN and talk to her, not random people on the internet that will say she is garbage because she gained weight HAVING NO FUCKING CLUE WHY SHE GAINED WEIGHT, WHAT STRESSES SHE UNDER, OR WHAT TYPE OF PERSON SHE IS OR YOU ARE.
Cheating on your wife makes you scum, imo.
[quote]usmccds423 wrote:
I don’t remember the priest saying anything about my wife staying super hot or maintaining my idea of her ideal weight.[/quote]
That’s why you outta write your own marriage vows.
[quote]usmccds423 wrote:
Some of the folks in here need to take a long look in the mirror. She broke her end of the deal? I don’t remember the priest saying anything about my wife staying super hot or maintaining my idea of her ideal weight. Must have slept through that part of the service I guess. On the other hand, OP, you have a duty to be FAITHFUL to your wife. That is part of the deal.
Instead of asking about cheating you should be a man and have a frank and open talk with your wife. You’re concerned about her weight, but you can’t even get health insurance on your own, seriously? What does that say about you? Maybe she got fat because she has to work 40+ hours a week to support YOU and your kids, did you think of that?
Be a MAN and talk to her, not random people on the internet that will say she is garbage because she gained weight HAVING NO FUCKING CLUE WHY SHE GAINED WEIGHT, WHAT STRESSES SHE UNDER, OR WHAT TYPE OF PERSON SHE IS OR YOU ARE.
Cheating on your wife makes you scum, imo.
[/quote]
Serious Question: Do you not expect your wife to maintain a reasonable level of attractiveness even if it wasn’t stipulated in your marriage vows?
[quote]Navin Johnson wrote:
I am curious, my wife is over 300 pounds and has no ambition to change. Even failed with lap band surgery. Ugh[/quote]
Don’t do it. Either seek to fix your marriage, or end it. If you end it, you can be with whom ever you choose, but end it first. Affairs NEVER turn out well. It’s impossible for it to turn out well.
Basically, having an affair is ending your marriage. It’s a statement that you don’t want to be married. It’s a very intimate violation. That, or you will end up a slave to your wife. So if that’s the road you want to go down, at least end it first so you don’t look like an ass.
No piece of ass is worth that kind of trouble.
OP, I think the one thing that everyone agrees on is the need to have a completely open and honest conversation with your wife. This is not the time to sugarcoat the issue, she deserves to know if the man she thought she would be spending the rest of her life with is no longer sexually attracted to her. But at the same time, you need to be able to listen to what she says.
[quote]csulli wrote:
[quote]usmccds423 wrote:
I don’t remember the priest saying anything about my wife staying super hot or maintaining my idea of her ideal weight.[/quote]
That’s why you outta write your own marriage vows.[/quote]
lol, fair enough 
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
Dont know you OP, however I honestly really doubt you are 100% free of your own issues in your marriage. Most issues with marriage difficulties both parties are at fault. Splitting percentages is counter productive, sitting down and having open communication with your spouse is more important than anything. [/quote]
I agree with this. While I think that women should take some pride in themselves and care about what their husbands think of them, that same thing holds true for men. Is he still in as attractive as when they married? And to the “need the health insurance” part, what is he doing that he cannot afford health insurance should he get a divorce.
If he is sitting around being supported by his wife, I can partially understand her not giving a crap what he thinks because he isn’t really holding up his end of the bargain either.
Granted she should have more respect for herself than that. But a major weight gain like that could easily mean that he aint the only one that isn’t happy with current situation.
[quote]Tiribulus wrote:
ME ME ME ME ME ME ME.
There’s a desperate hurting women over there who probably hates to open her eyes in the morning and all anybody (just about) cares about is whether this guy is happy. Yeah, she’s probably angry and nasty and impossible to get along with on top of being obese too. That’s how hurting people are. None of that is the point. Marriage (on the human level), including sex, is ALL about GIVING every bit of yourself on every level and in every way to another and ESPECIALLY when they least deserve it and are most difficult to live with. That’s when they need you most.
Marriage was designed by God, one man and one woman, for life, as an earthly illustration of the covenant relationship of Christ with His church bride. He GAVE Himself in a gruesome bloody death to redeem His people, his bride, from death themselves. He commands husbands to love their wives this way. (see the 5th chapter of the apostle Paul’s letter to the church at Ephesus) No matter what else may happen, children are equipped for life by watching their fathers love their mothers. Of course, we won’t do that on our own. How well I know, having learned this lesson the very hard way by almost destroying the wife of my youth with my own self serving childishness. Even after I should have known better.
Nevermind. Whatever on earth could I have been thinking? This guy needs to get laid and save money. Carry on.[/quote]
I’ve been reading a lot of your posts, and as a Christian brother I gotta say… what you write sounds WAY too preachy for my tastes…
anyways OP, for your wife…
2iu Keifei somatropin AM (before 30 minutes fasted walk) and 2iu PM (on empty stomach)
50-75mcg t3 ED
12mg test E Monday/Thursday
low dose DNP for 6 weeks
if that doesn’t work, time for a divorce
[quote]FarmerBrett wrote:
OP, If everything else in your marriage is good but you are considering cheating on your wife because she has gained a few pounds (probably after having your kids) then you’re shallow.
[/quote]
When did gaining 50% of your bodyweight become ‘just a few pounds’ when you are already pretty damn heavy? 200 pounds for a normal man is heavy, it is massive for woman, then you add 50% more to it and try to pretend there is nothing wrong. I’m just saying there’s probably some mental issues with the woman, or the op is not saying something he should.
[quote]Mr. Walkway wrote:
[quote]Tiribulus wrote:
ME ME ME ME ME ME ME.
There’s a desperate hurting women over there who probably hates to open her eyes in the morning and all anybody (just about) cares about is whether this guy is happy. Yeah, she’s probably angry and nasty and impossible to get along with on top of being obese too. That’s how hurting people are. None of that is the point. Marriage (on the human level), including sex, is ALL about GIVING every bit of yourself on every level and in every way to another and ESPECIALLY when they least deserve it and are most difficult to live with. That’s when they need you most.
Marriage was designed by God, one man and one woman, for life, as an earthly illustration of the covenant relationship of Christ with His church bride. He GAVE Himself in a gruesome bloody death to redeem His people, his bride, from death themselves. He commands husbands to love their wives this way. (see the 5th chapter of the apostle Paul’s letter to the church at Ephesus) No matter what else may happen, children are equipped for life by watching their fathers love their mothers. Of course, we won’t do that on our own. How well I know, having learned this lesson the very hard way by almost destroying the wife of my youth with my own self serving childishness. Even after I should have known better.
Nevermind. Whatever on earth could I have been thinking? This guy needs to get laid and save money. Carry on.[/quote]
I’ve been reading a lot of your posts, and as a Christian brother I gotta say… what you write sounds WAY too preachy for my tastes…
anyways OP, for your wife…
2iu Keifei somatropin AM (before 30 minutes fasted walk) and 2iu PM (on empty stomach)
50-75mcg t3 ED
12mg test E Monday/Thursday
low dose DNP for 6 weeks
if that doesn’t work, time for a divorce
[/quote]
That is not PAT.