[quote]polo77j wrote:
It’s especially nullifying when you realize the spited doesn’t care.[/quote]
Oh, she will care if you nail her sister… She will care.
Okay, I’ll stop being a dick when you’re being serious and productive.
[quote]countingbeans wrote:
[quote]Hot Tamale wrote:
What is your professional goal anyway? Just curious… you don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to :)[/quote]
So we are calling ghey midget porn a profession now?[/quote]
I’m 5’8 … i’m not a midget
and all the midget porn I’ve ever made has been strictly hetero
Hai
[quote]BradTGIF wrote:
[quote]Hot Tamale wrote:
[quote]polo77j wrote:
[quote]Edgy wrote:
Going through a ‘self destructive phase’ leads to comfort down the road. After a breakup, or death, drinking and sex helps to fill the void in your life. It keeps you company and helps you to heal.
Been through a few breakups, and having a few deaths in the family, I know what helps me.
My $.02.
Pch - hang in there, it will all get better, and the more you get it out of your system, the less it will poison your soul.[/quote]
I disagree. It might feel like it’s helping at the time but you’re still being destructive to yourself. Being productive will also lead to comfort down the road, and you won’t have to deal with the whole “shit I really let myself go” revelation after the pain stops.
In other words, it’s logical to focus your pain somewhere, and it’s a more sound endeavour to focus it in a productive path as you emerge with a plus rather than the minus you would emerge with if you chose the self-destructive path.
FTR: I don’t consider having sex to be self-destructive as long as you’re safe about it and guard your reputation.[/quote]
I knew you were smart, Polo, but I didn’t realize you had such great insight as well. Nice 
I did this myself in the face of a major break up, and this is why I gave the same sort of advice… self-improvement sure beats self-destruction.[/quote]
Self-destruction isn’t a conscious decision, it’s something that happens, you go through it, wake yourself up, pull yourself up, and move on.
I have a lot of respect for guys and gals who go through a “dark period” and are able to pull themselves out of it. I’ve had two phases in my adulthood where I went through some deep dark stuff. You definitely learn a lot about yourself when that sort of thing happens.
I don’t recommend it, but if it happens it’s not necessarily a bad thing.
All the self-help guru stuff seems like a tuxedo and tophat away from snake oil sales to me. Never believed that BS.
[/quote]
Yes, Edgy, but part of growing is learning to wake yourself up before you DO self-destruct… not everyone successfully moves to that phase.
That’s why after a couple of those deep, dark periods, you have to realize that the “next time” you should avoid it entirely, or just touch and go…and just cut to the chase to the good stuff, which is the positive attitude and moving forward part
Everyone has their own process, and the bottoming out part is often necessary in the healing process… but it doesn’t mean you have to be self-destructive. Maybe more like self-reflection is more productive in that stage, know what I mean, you big burly viking? Now how about a red-headed slut? hehe… and I mean the shot, big red!
[quote]countingbeans wrote:
[quote]polo77j wrote:
It’s especially nullifying when you realize the spited doesn’t care.[/quote]
Oh, she will care if you nail her sister… She will care.
Okay, I’ll stop being a dick when you’re being serious and productive.[/quote]
she’ll care … but not the way you’d want her to. She’ll just hate your guts and you’ve successfully alienated a group of people who may have been a positive influence in your life…yay self destruction
[quote]Kerley wrote:
Hai[/quote]
Video of hat eating or GTFO!
You sir, are a cock tease.
[quote]Hot Tamale wrote:
[quote]BradTGIF wrote:
[quote]Hot Tamale wrote:
[quote]polo77j wrote:
[quote]Edgy wrote:
Going through a ‘self destructive phase’ leads to comfort down the road. After a breakup, or death, drinking and sex helps to fill the void in your life. It keeps you company and helps you to heal.
Been through a few breakups, and having a few deaths in the family, I know what helps me.
My $.02.
Pch - hang in there, it will all get better, and the more you get it out of your system, the less it will poison your soul.[/quote]
I disagree. It might feel like it’s helping at the time but you’re still being destructive to yourself. Being productive will also lead to comfort down the road, and you won’t have to deal with the whole “shit I really let myself go” revelation after the pain stops.
In other words, it’s logical to focus your pain somewhere, and it’s a more sound endeavour to focus it in a productive path as you emerge with a plus rather than the minus you would emerge with if you chose the self-destructive path.
FTR: I don’t consider having sex to be self-destructive as long as you’re safe about it and guard your reputation.[/quote]
I knew you were smart, Polo, but I didn’t realize you had such great insight as well. Nice I did this myself in the face of a major break up, and this is why I gave the same sort of advice… self-improvement sure beats self-destruction.[/quote]
Self-destruction isn’t a conscious decision, it’s something that happens, you go through it, wake yourself up, pull yourself up, and move on.
I have a lot of respect for guys and gals who go through a “dark period” and are able to pull themselves out of it. I’ve had two phases in my adulthood where I went through some deep dark stuff. You definitely learn a lot about yourself when that sort of thing happens.
I don’t recommend it, but if it happens it’s not necessarily a bad thing.
All the self-help guru stuff seems like a tuxedo and tophat away from snake oil sales to me. Never believed that BS.
[/quote]
Yes, Edgy, but part of growing is learning to wake yourself up before you DO self-destruct… not everyone successfully moves to that phase.
That’s why after a couple of those deep, dark periods, you have to realize that the “next time” you should avoid it entirely, or just touch and go…and just cut to the chase to the good stuff, which is the positive attitude and moving forward part
Everyone has their own process, and the bottoming out part is often necessary in the healing process… but it doesn’t mean you have to be self-destructive. Maybe more like self-reflection is more productive in that stage, know what I mean, you big burly viking? Now how about a red-headed slut? hehe… and I mean the shot, big red![/quote]
Ex-fuckin-actly
Ummmm that was me, not the Edgy.
[quote]imhungry wrote:
Ie feel like i’m in a sound proof room.
By the time my frigging posts show up, another page will be started.
[/quote]
Yeah, what is up with that?
Check the time on your CPU or something?
As in teh tech forum, or just blow people like PMPM
[quote]Hot Tamale wrote:
[quote]BradTGIF wrote:
[quote]Hot Tamale wrote:
[quote]polo77j wrote:
[quote]Edgy wrote:
Going through a ‘self destructive phase’ leads to comfort down the road. After a breakup, or death, drinking and sex helps to fill the void in your life. It keeps you company and helps you to heal.
Been through a few breakups, and having a few deaths in the family, I know what helps me.
My $.02.
Pch - hang in there, it will all get better, and the more you get it out of your system, the less it will poison your soul.[/quote]
I disagree. It might feel like it’s helping at the time but you’re still being destructive to yourself. Being productive will also lead to comfort down the road, and you won’t have to deal with the whole “shit I really let myself go” revelation after the pain stops.
In other words, it’s logical to focus your pain somewhere, and it’s a more sound endeavour to focus it in a productive path as you emerge with a plus rather than the minus you would emerge with if you chose the self-destructive path.
FTR: I don’t consider having sex to be self-destructive as long as you’re safe about it and guard your reputation.[/quote]
I knew you were smart, Polo, but I didn’t realize you had such great insight as well. Nice I did this myself in the face of a major break up, and this is why I gave the same sort of advice… self-improvement sure beats self-destruction.[/quote]
Self-destruction isn’t a conscious decision, it’s something that happens, you go through it, wake yourself up, pull yourself up, and move on.
I have a lot of respect for guys and gals who go through a “dark period” and are able to pull themselves out of it. I’ve had two phases in my adulthood where I went through some deep dark stuff. You definitely learn a lot about yourself when that sort of thing happens.
I don’t recommend it, but if it happens it’s not necessarily a bad thing.
All the self-help guru stuff seems like a tuxedo and tophat away from snake oil sales to me. Never believed that BS.
[/quote]
Yes, Edgy, but part of growing is learning to wake yourself up before you DO self-destruct… not everyone successfully moves to that phase.
That’s why after a couple of those deep, dark periods, you have to realize that the “next time” you should avoid it entirely, or just touch and go…and just cut to the chase to the good stuff, which is the positive attitude and moving forward part
Everyone has their own process, and the bottoming out part is often necessary in the healing process… but it doesn’t mean you have to be self-destructive. Maybe more like self-reflection is more productive in that stage, know what I mean, you big burly viking? Now how about a red-headed slut? hehe… and I mean the shot, big red![/quote]
WTF I guess I just spaced out and replied to Brad and thought I was responding to Edgy. Oops, sorry Brad, but apparently I need a nap or something… hmmm. I could just edit this post, but let’s just pretend, instead, that it says Brad, k? Lol, thanks
I ain’t pretendin’ SHIT man!
Now that I know Dallas is a cheating douche, I have a story. Don’t think I’ve shared it with anyone/on here…
I was with my boyfriend for nearly 4 years. We went through a lot together (sickness, deaths in family, divorce, etc) and we were very much in love. Planned a lot for the future including shopping for rings. We had plans to move in together in a few months.
Well, he was still living where we went to college and one weekend I went back to visit. We each had a bachelor/bachelorette party to go to. I had a key to his place and plans to meet him back there after we were both done.
Late at night, I get back there and he’s not there. His fraternity is only a few houses away and they were having a party so I went there to see if he was around. Was getting a tour of their new renos by one of their guys and as we walk by a room, I see a chick on top of my boyfriend. Literally fucking him.
I could have walked in there and torn both of them to pieces (and wanted to), but instead walked out of the house, back to his apartment, packed up all of my shit, called a few friends. We removed everything in his apartment that was mine or of me (pictures) and left. Later that night he started calling my cell but the girls dealt with that.
I literally did not speak one word to him for 3 months. I ignored calls, didn’t return texts or emails and he eventually realized it was over. During those 3 months I was very low. I wasn’t really destructive, but certainly didn’t do anything to better myself and definitely didn’t think very much of myself.
Over the winter holidays, my mom and I went away for a week. We didn’t talk about my ex, but had a good time and I came back with a renewed sense of who I wanted to be. In the next few weeks I signed up for a half marathon and soon was introduced to TN. Shortly after the half, I started my first log in PW.
Pch - it’s okay and normal to be sad, hate him, want to yell, scream at him etc. I thought about doing many of these things myself and decided in the end, it would just give him reasons to talk shit about me to our mutual friends. So I gave him nothing.
Drop your 35lbs, train hard and focus on you. You no longer have to worry about anyone else and can be completely selfish for a while. It’s nice.
[quote]polo77j wrote:
[quote]pushmepullme wrote:
[quote]polo77j wrote:
…I just think it’s counter-intuitive and illogical…[/quote]
But grief isn’t logical. It’s all well and good to say “I’m going to show that motherfucker, I’m going to do ____!” but when you’re broken, there’s a certain amount of depression that can make positive action impossible.
I would wager that Polo’s an optimistic cheery motherfucker type, and Edgy (and myself, and other people who are more destructive with grief) are a bit less…uh…rainbowy.[/quote]
Schmea, I’ve had bad days PMPM, I just can’t see the point in being destructive when things don’t go my way. I understand greif isn’t logical, I already acknowledged that. Emotions aren’t logical, good or bad. Doesn’t mean your reactions have to be illogical, also. I get angry just like everyone else. And I"m sure you’ve noticed through my posts here that I"m not that cheery.
I also think it’s a bad idea to do anything out of spite, regardless of what it is. To say, “I’m going to improve myself to show this asshole what he’s missing,” makes the same amount of sense as saying, "I’m going to go get drunk and video tape me railing this slut that she hates and email it to her and all her friends.
That’ll show her!" Neither will make you any better than you are. It’s a dead end. Both paths. What happens when you lose that spite? You lose the motivation to do whatever productive thing you were doing or you lost the motivation for being self-destructive. Then you’re stuck with nothing. Again.
You haven’t made any positive change. You haven’t improved yourself or your situation. It’s especially nullifying when you realize the spited doesn’t care.[/quote]
Yeah… we need to start our long chats again Polo… I miss when you use your brain and not just your looks
And by that I mean when I don’t just objectify you like the sexy man you are and realize you actually have a brain 
[quote]Court wrote:
Now that I know Dallas is a cheating douche, I have a story. Don’t think I’ve shared it with anyone/on here…
I was with my boyfriend for nearly 4 years. We went through a lot together (sickness, deaths in family, divorce, etc) and we were very much in love. Planned a lot for the future including shopping for rings. We had plans to move in together in a few months.
Well, he was still living where we went to college and one weekend I went back to visit. We each had a bachelor/bachelorette party to go to. I had a key to his place and plans to meet him back there after we were both done.
Late at night, I get back there and he’s not there. His fraternity is only a few houses away and they were having a party so I went there to see if he was around. Was getting a tour of their new renos by one of their guys and as we walk by a room, I see a chick on top of my boyfriend. Literally fucking him.
I could have walked in there and torn both of them to pieces (and wanted to), but instead walked out of the house, back to his apartment, packed up all of my shit, called a few friends. We removed everything in his apartment that was mine or of me (pictures) and left. Later that night he started calling my cell but the girls dealt with that.
I literally did not speak one word to him for 3 months. I ignored calls, didn’t return texts or emails and he eventually realized it was over. During those 3 months I was very low. I wasn’t really destructive, but certainly didn’t do anything to better myself and definitely didn’t think very much of myself.
Over the winter holidays, my mom and I went away for a week. We didn’t talk about my ex, but had a good time and I came back with a renewed sense of who I wanted to be. In the next few weeks I signed up for a half marathon and soon was introduced to TN. Shortly after the half, I started my first log in PW.
Pch - it’s okay and normal to be sad, hate him, want to yell, scream at him etc. I thought about doing many of these things myself and decided in the end, it would just give him reasons to talk shit about me to our mutual friends. So I gave him nothing. Drop your 35lbs, train hard and focus on you. You no longer have to worry about anyone else and can be completely selfish for a while. It’s nice. [/quote]
I <3 You
[quote]BradTGIF wrote:
I ain’t pretendin’ SHIT man! [/quote]
Okay, damnit! I apologized anyway, ya big baby. My bad… please don’t go into a depression and never come out of it… your friends here need you. I’m going to take that nap now… after I watch Polo’s hetero midget porn hehe.
Oh, and Polo, good luck with those awesome goals! I’m a Marketing major myself, and spent a few years in the business world. I’m in education now, and use a combination of business/psychology and people skills all at once.
[quote]Court wrote:
[quote]polo77j wrote:
[quote]pushmepullme wrote:
[quote]polo77j wrote:
…I just think it’s counter-intuitive and illogical…[/quote]
But grief isn’t logical. It’s all well and good to say “I’m going to show that motherfucker, I’m going to do ____!” but when you’re broken, there’s a certain amount of depression that can make positive action impossible.
I would wager that Polo’s an optimistic cheery motherfucker type, and Edgy (and myself, and other people who are more destructive with grief) are a bit less…uh…rainbowy.[/quote]
Schmea, I’ve had bad days PMPM, I just can’t see the point in being destructive when things don’t go my way. I understand greif isn’t logical, I already acknowledged that. Emotions aren’t logical, good or bad. Doesn’t mean your reactions have to be illogical, also. I get angry just like everyone else. And I"m sure you’ve noticed through my posts here that I"m not that cheery.
I also think it’s a bad idea to do anything out of spite, regardless of what it is. To say, “I’m going to improve myself to show this asshole what he’s missing,” makes the same amount of sense as saying, "I’m going to go get drunk and video tape me railing this slut that she hates and email it to her and all her friends.
That’ll show her!" Neither will make you any better than you are. It’s a dead end. Both paths. What happens when you lose that spite? You lose the motivation to do whatever productive thing you were doing or you lost the motivation for being self-destructive. Then you’re stuck with nothing. Again.
You haven’t made any positive change. You haven’t improved yourself or your situation. It’s especially nullifying when you realize the spited doesn’t care.[/quote]
Yeah… we need to start our long chats again Polo… I miss when you use your brain and not just your looks
And by that I mean when I don’t just objectify you like the sexy man you are and realize you actually have a brain
[/quote]
Doors always open S.T.
^ good advice…
The dude sounds like an immature loser that doesn’t deserve your tears…grrrrrrr.
There’s been a few times where I just stayed away from all women for a period of time. One lasted 2 years…no sex, dates, or just friends. I kept transitioning from one bad relationship to another, so I needed break. It was hard, but really worth it.
This is encouraging Hungry. I’ve been doing this for a year (ugh) and am hoping for the big payoff (meaning a good relationship) instead of more of the same. During the last eight months I’ve been focusing on weight loss and working with my trainer and NOT thinking about dating and sex.
[quote]Hot Tamale wrote:
[quote]BradTGIF wrote:
I ain’t pretendin’ SHIT man! [/quote]
Okay, damnit! I apologized anyway, ya big baby. My bad… please don’t go into a depression and never come out of it… your friends here need you. I’m going to take that nap now… after I watch Polo’s hetero midget porn hehe.
Oh, and Polo, good luck with those awesome goals! I’m a Marketing major myself, and spent a few years in the business world. I’m in education now, and use a combination of business/psychology and people skills all at once. :)[/quote]
Sleep good, may your midget porn contain ladders and stepstools in abundance.
[quote]imhungry wrote:
I have the runs:(
GOOD MORNING EVERYONE!!![/quote]
Good morning, tiger!! And do something about that nasty problem, please… you’re making a mess in here.