Equality on the Bus

Off Topic
81

[quote]debraD wrote:
I am with Dirtman and Raj. Things are different here in Canadia. We hold doors for everyone and generally with old guys excepted, we don’t have different rules for women.[/quote]

Well I won’t make excuses for holding open doors or offering my seat to people on the bus, that’s the way I was brought up and I don’t think I could change now.

I just didn’t realise I was being a sexist pig.

I’ve never had a woman refuse a seat or look insulted, but maybe things are different here to Canada.

82

[quote]therajraj wrote:

[quote]FarmerBrett wrote:

[quote]MytchBucanan wrote:

[quote]LankyMofo wrote:
How this is even a debate is beyond me.

You give up the seat because it’s the right thing to do. Nothing to do with equality, nothing to do with sleeping with her, nothing to do with hairy armpits or lack of bra.

I’ll concede she’s a bit trashy to make a fuss about it in the first place, she seems to be taking advantage of what is usually a gesture of kindness and not an obligation. But you should have offered before she even brought it up. Case closed.

As an aside, if you were trying to sleep with the girl the best advice is still to give her your seat, as it’s an opening to be able to start an easy going conversation and crack a couple flirty jokes, bragging about what a gentleman you must be (remember, these are jokes and delivery is everything). Sitting there, showing no class and refusing to give up your seat will not impress even the sloppiest of trash enough to sleep with you. And chances are you’re not even going to start a conversation with this girl unless you do offer to give up your seat.

Seriously, I don’t care what scenario we’re talking about, give up the damn seat. [/quote]

Care to explain WHY he should give up the seat?[/quote]

For the same reason you help a lost child, or help an old lady across the road or help push someone’s broken down car…because it’s the RIGHT thing to do or what a decent person should do.

[/quote]

Read what you wrote again and ask yourself how is what you wrote not demeaning to women.

You just put females in the same category as lost children and the elderly in terms of self-sufficiency.

[/quote]

Yeah and I noticed you picked out those two, but not the “someone in a broken down car” because that could have been any age and any sex.

Just pick out the bits you want.

83

[quote]FarmerBrett wrote:

[quote]debraD wrote:
I am with Dirtman and Raj. Things are different here in Canadia. We hold doors for everyone and generally with old guys excepted, we don’t have different rules for women.[/quote]

Well I won’t make excuses for holding open doors or offering my seat to people on the bus, that’s the way I was brought up and I don’t think I could change now.

I just didn’t realise I was being a sexist pig.

I’ve never had a woman refuse a seat or look insulted, but maybe things are different here to Canada.

[/quote]

The only difference here is that gender is not a reason for exceptional treatment. We offer seats to all that are in need and we hold doors open for anyone coming behind us. As a whole we are extremely polite culturally to the point of annoying foreigners at times but we just don’t generally single out females for being female because that is considered offensive.

84

[quote]FarmerBrett wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]FarmerBrett wrote:
That’s the point about doing people favours, you don’t get to choose to do them only for nice people.[/quote]

I totally do this. Nice people get favors, not nice people don’t.[/quote]

Well how do you determine someone is nice before you help push their stuck car out of the snow or hand over a Ã?£20 note they’ve just dropped?[/quote]

A fair question. I always assume they are nice until proven otherwise.

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[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]FarmerBrett wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]FarmerBrett wrote:
That’s the point about doing people favours, you don’t get to choose to do them only for nice people.[/quote]

I totally do this. Nice people get favors, not nice people don’t.[/quote]

Well how do you determine someone is nice before you help push their stuck car out of the snow or hand over a Ã??Ã?£20 note they’ve just dropped?[/quote]

A fair question. I always assume they are nice until proven otherwise.[/quote]

Same here. If they’re rude about my help, I’ll change my tone.

86

If I’m on a bus or metro by myself, I’m going to be working on my laptop. Sitting means I can use my laptop, standing means I cannot, so I’m not getting up for someone who doesn’t need the seat.

I think it goes without saying that one should offer a disabled or elderly person their seat without being asked.

87

I take the bus everyday and I typically am forced to stand because it’s so crowded, but when I do have a seat I really only offer it to the elderly (and disabled of course) BUT if the bus is packed and I have a seat I’ll offer it to any woman since I know how tough it is to hold onto the railings above.

In your case, I wouldn’t have moved for her with that attitude though!

88

I would have told the lady, “Here’s a quarter call someone who cares.” Then I would have yelled at the top of my lungs, “are there any guys on here that want to give up their seat to and ungrateful beotch.” Then I would have stood up and let her have my seat. I possibly would have bitch slapped her as she sat down. I would then instruct her next time she wants people to be nice to her she needs to be a lady, not a bitch.

In all likely hood I would have offered her my seat before she had a chance to ask and go all psycho.

89

Jeeeebus F Christ. My workout partner directed me to this site, told me I’d get great advice on here but to stay off of the off-topic forums or I’d see worse misogynistic shit than I’d ever experienced if I came here. Uh, yep, she was right. There’s nothing wrong with the folks that said this lady was out of line and wouldn’t have stood up, though I tend to be of the school of thought that regardless of sex, it’s a nice gesture to stand for someone wanting to sit. I stand for all kinds of folks, though I’m a woman, including other women my age sometimes. It has nothing to do with sex, but it makes me feel good.

I am really wondering if there are a bunch of MRA types on this site. I hope not, as I particularly enjoy muscular men.

Lanky MoFo, thank you for your comments. You proved my friend wrong, and I am glad to see that. Thanks.

90

[quote]HamishMcTavish wrote:

I am really wondering if there are a bunch of MRA types on this site. I hope not, as I particularly enjoy muscular men.
[/quote]

Yup.

Hi thar!

waves effeminately in your general direction*

92

[quote]FarmerBrett wrote:

[quote]therajraj wrote:

[quote]FarmerBrett wrote:

[quote]MytchBucanan wrote:

[quote]LankyMofo wrote:
How this is even a debate is beyond me.

You give up the seat because it’s the right thing to do. Nothing to do with equality, nothing to do with sleeping with her, nothing to do with hairy armpits or lack of bra.

I’ll concede she’s a bit trashy to make a fuss about it in the first place, she seems to be taking advantage of what is usually a gesture of kindness and not an obligation. But you should have offered before she even brought it up. Case closed.

As an aside, if you were trying to sleep with the girl the best advice is still to give her your seat, as it’s an opening to be able to start an easy going conversation and crack a couple flirty jokes, bragging about what a gentleman you must be (remember, these are jokes and delivery is everything). Sitting there, showing no class and refusing to give up your seat will not impress even the sloppiest of trash enough to sleep with you. And chances are you’re not even going to start a conversation with this girl unless you do offer to give up your seat.

Seriously, I don’t care what scenario we’re talking about, give up the damn seat. [/quote]

Care to explain WHY he should give up the seat?[/quote]

For the same reason you help a lost child, or help an old lady across the road or help push someone’s broken down car…because it’s the RIGHT thing to do or what a decent person should do.

[/quote]

Read what you wrote again and ask yourself how is what you wrote not demeaning to women.

You just put females in the same category as lost children and the elderly in terms of self-sufficiency.

[/quote]

Yeah and I noticed you picked out those two, but not the “someone in a broken down car” because that could have been any age and any sex.

Just pick out the bits you want.[/quote]

It’s perfectly normal to assess situations as individual happenings, and not respond the same in all of them, or view them the same. I suppose he could help every 18-45 year old man across the street as well, or offer to help every single person at the grocer his aid carrying their bags, but people might consider that quite odd. A broken down car is a far removed situation from a lost child or elderly person very visibly requiring help, not the least of their differences is the variety of people who can require car help, while only a lost child or elderly person can require aid in the scenario of lost child or elderly in need of help(see, it’s even written right there, in the description of the problem, the one’s you wrote up).

93

[quote]FarmerBrett wrote:
So what if she was a pushy broad, you’re giving up your seat not giving her a kidney.

That’s the point about doing people favours, you don’t get to choose to do them only for nice people. If I see a broken down car in the road I stop and help them push it to the side of the road. A few times the person has sat in the car while I did all the pushing rather than help (lazy bastard) but it didn’t matter. Helping out made ME feel good.

If you need someone to explain to you why it’s the right thing to do then helping people out is probably not your thing. I mean that little lost kid could be a sniveling little shit and probably wont even say thankyou.[/quote]

The fact that you keep comparing critical scenarios such as a lost child and a broken down car (both I have helped with) to something as trivial as giving up your seat to an able bodied woman who feels entitled because of her gender and nothing else is ridiculous. I would give up my seat to an elderly or disabled person. Helping people out is very much my thing. Being bullied is not.

94

[quote]The Ox Man wrote:
I will nearly always give up my seat to a woman. However the thing I hate the most in anybody is a sense of entitlement, or thinking they are better than other people. So if a woman makes it blatantly obvious they think I should give up my seat I won’t do it. If they had waited another 5 seconds I would have done it of my own accord. If a woman wants men to be chivalrous then she should be polite.

[/quote]

Thank you!

96

[quote]Chushin wrote:
WTF?

Why would I give up my seat to a healthy, middle aged (or younger) woman?

Is she any less capable of standing than I am? Or than some other healthy guy on the train?

The whole point of giving up your seat to someone is that they, for some reason, have difficulty with standing, and you don’t.

I’ll be damned if being a woman somehow means you have more of a right to sit than a man does.

And ain’t no way I’m getting up for an entitled, demanding woman who takes for granted her right to have me stand so she can sit.

Some of you need to remember WHY it is the “right thing” to do sometimes, and not just act like a conditioned rat. [/quote]

Yea! Why would I give my seat to a woman in a bus, when they should be in a kithcen?!

97

Ha ha, I didn’t realise I’d catch so much flak for offering a seat to an able bodied woman. I guess you’re right, I am conditioned, but I don’t do it because I think ‘the poor little lady is too weak to stand on her pretty little legs’, it’s just something I was taught to do by my parents and I’ve never really contemplated why.

But, thanks for the heads up T-Nation I’ll adjust my sexist behaviour accordingly.

Moving away from the giving up the seat issue for a moment. I have a hypothetical question, if I were to come across a woman being beaten up by a man in the street, would it be sexist to intervene? because to be honest I probably wouldn’t get involved if it was just two men going at it.

So what I’m asking is, TECHNICALLY (note the technically) would I be being sexist to assume the woman wasn’t able to handle herself and required help? I mean we’re all supposed to be equal right? I’m not being facetious by the way, this is a serious question. And if it wouldn’t be sexist, why not?

98

[quote]FarmerBrett wrote:
Ha ha, I didn’t realise I’d catch so much flak for offering a seat to an able bodied woman. I guess you’re right, I am conditioned, but I don’t do it because I think ‘the poor little lady is too weak to stand on her pretty little legs’, it’s just something I was taught to do by my parents and I’ve never really contemplated why.

But, thanks for the heads up T-Nation I’ll adjust my sexist behaviour accordingly.

Moving away from the giving up the seat issue for a moment. I have a hypothetical question, if I were to come across a woman being beaten up by a man in the street, would it be sexist to intervene? because to be honest I probably wouldn’t get involved if it was just two men going at it.

So what I’m asking is, TECHNICALLY (note the technically) would I be being sexist to assume the woman wasn’t able to handle herself and required help? I mean we’re all supposed to be equal right? I’m not being facetious by the way, this is a serious question. And if it wouldn’t be sexist, why not?[/quote]

Yes you would be being sexist. Your ideas and decision would be mainly based on gender, that is the definition of sexism. Women can’t expect to receive the advantages of not being sexist without the disadvantages.
I’ve always wondered why being sexist is a bad thing? Men and women are different, we’re not equal. While I agree on having equal rights, why does everybody have to be equal?

99

[quote]FarmerBrett wrote:
Ha ha, I didn’t realise I’d catch so much flak for offering a seat to an able bodied woman. I guess you’re right, I am conditioned, but I don’t do it because I think ‘the poor little lady is too weak to stand on her pretty little legs’, it’s just something I was taught to do by my parents and I’ve never really contemplated why.

But, thanks for the heads up T-Nation I’ll adjust my sexist behaviour accordingly.

Moving away from the giving up the seat issue for a moment. I have a hypothetical question, if I were to come across a woman being beaten up by a man in the street, would it be sexist to intervene? because to be honest I probably wouldn’t get involved if it was just two men going at it.

So what I’m asking is, TECHNICALLY (note the technically) would I be being sexist to assume the woman wasn’t able to handle herself and required help? I mean we’re all supposed to be equal right? I’m not being facetious by the way, this is a serious question. And if it wouldn’t be sexist, why not?[/quote]

So, by your own admission, you are saying that you would help a woman in need but given the same scenario you would not help a man? You tell me if that’s sexist.

100

I think many of you are missing the point, at least that I was trying to make, that giving up your seat, for anyone, has more to do with what I feel, as a man, I should do because I am a man not because the person is old, a woman, etc…

It’s part of what I believe separates men and boys by my definition.

You can do whatever you want as far as I’m concerned. Me, 9/10 times, I’m giving the seat up.