My husband read this post about 30 seconds after I wrote it and yelled into the bathroom “if you become a pack a day smoker again you have to find a new place to live”. 
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Ha! See, there’s that for me, too. The husband. He tolerates it camping, because he’s the one bringing the bad influences in, but the first time I smoked he refused to kiss me (I get it! but it made me sad). Now he will, because camping is so grubby for him, or maybe because he likes the occasional check-in kiss as much as I do (I hope so). The setup is all him (put up a big tarp, get the grills and picnic table set up, clean and organize the trailer where the paper plates and cooking stuff is, get all the camp chairs out of the shed, make sure the outhouse has everything it needs, put up however many tents he’s responsible for - ours and his daughter’s if she’s there, and this time the Barcelona guys - shovel out the fire pit if needed, and so on). Just filthy work out there on the mountain. Some of it he’ll do ahead of time if he can, but there are always a lot of tasks left, and if not he improves things - the path to the outhouse, the road, whatever.
Anyway, at home, though, that would be a no-go. It is utterly fair for him not to want that in our lives or in our bed. It’s also a no-go for me professionally. Not because therapists can’t smoke, but because I spend a lot of time on “change is possible and hard things are doable.” If I have a “brand,” it’s that. And self-esteem, which from my perspective go hand-in-hand.
My entire work day has cancelled, pretty much. All three of my morning people canceled this morning. One of them, my 11, very early (v. sick, testing for covid), then my 9 on the way to work (sick, see in two weeks). My 10 was telehealth, so I decided to hit the grocery store and then come home until doing in-persons at 3 & 4. Soon after I got back home the 10 texted (work emergency). Husband and Louie had already left for their snowy walk, unfortunately. I’d have liked to go now that I’m free until 3.
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My habits come back lightning fast. I pick up right where I left off.
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Same.
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I used a lot of opiates “back in the day”, and generally avoid them. But I was prescribed some codeine tablets (can’t remember brand) for a broken/bad tooth a while back. That was something! I could feel it kick in and could feel it leaving, and my body’s response was "Nooo! Come back! 
". I only had 8 of them, until the antibiotics kicked in fully, but damn! That was from the first one!
Ive had a few other brushes with them like in the ICU where they saturated me with morphine and follow up procedures, so I knew how it was going to go, but damn, its wild how those fast old things come back to haunt.
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Ive had a few other brushes with them like in the ICU where they saturated me with morphine
My one and only time with morphine, I finally understood what the phrase “warm and fuzzy” meant. I can easily see how people get hooked on that.
Never any oral opiates though. Been given quite a bit over the years, and all I can comment on is how bad they constipate me. I’d rather just be in pain. Never could figure out how people got hooked on them.
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That is a very literal description. I call it “the big comfy couch”. It could be a concrete curb. Makes no difference.
Yeah. The milder ones are almost kind of annoying. Any relief or enjoyment for me is countered by the knowledge that it will end soon.
I used a lot of them in conjunction with other stuff like -[Drinking is great. Drinking + percocet is really great!!!] So it was like plug & play with any number of substances.
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I had this after my second C-section. I believe mine was narcotics though. Once I found out that the meds were the problem I refused them moving forward. That pain was way worse than the surgery pain. Now the fentanyl they put in my IV after my hysterectomy was pretty amazing. I’ve never had something just shut down my pain so quickly. I can definitely see the addictive properties there.
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Thursday, November 13
Weight 141.5
Today is my clear liquids only day. I thought about a walk this morning and then decided not to do anything hunger-encouraging.
Colonoscopy tomorrow morning at 6:45. Sad trombone.
Pain killers - I’ve liked them pretty well when they’ve been prescribed, but never had any issue coming off. I’ve always been anxious to return to “regular me” at the end of the acute stage of surgery, or whatever. “Fuzzy” is fine when pain is the alternative, but I’m not after that on a good day.
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Blah. I don’t like fasting. Last one I did was like 40 hrs. or something, and by the end of it I was so fed up ← (ha!) that I figured screw the femural artery, id been still long enough. I’m gonna eat!!!
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So were you required to fast, or…?
Obviously I’m more worried about my gainz than any hunger I might experience, because that’s the kind of dedication I bring to the table ← :-).
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Yeah. I was to be fasted 24 hr. pre-op. Then that turned into another 16 hrs. due to scheduling or something, and another 4 hrs. post procedure of no moving what so ever cuz they went in (angioplasty) through the femoral artery. And you have to stay completely still for like 4 hrs. Or it might blow out the colagen plug and you die.
But the nurse brought me dinner and left it on the table, so I got up and ate it after 3 hr. 59 min. And boy was she mad! (like I wasn’t!).
Hunger is temporary! Gainz are forever!
Or something.
I’m wishing you the best.
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I’ve recently conducted an experiment wherein I discovered that, if you eat for 50 uninterrupted minutes at a Brazilian steakhouse, you unlock “fasting superpowers” and can easily go 24+ hours without food. The sheer thought of it may even revolt you.
Mind you, this is an n=1 experiment, so for the sake of science, I’m going to conduct it several times to accumulate some worthwhile data. Because one time is an anecdote, but MANY anecdotes make data.
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A data point is a data point. 
.
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It’s like my college counselor told me “There’s a difference between experimenting with marijuana and full fledged research”
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I got a bag of placebo once. 
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Same. I get nothing out of any other any other type of opioid I’ve ever taken, but morphine is wonderful.
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You can add my positive results to your study. We did this on our honeymoon. It was 20 years ago and I don’t think I have ever again matched that level of stuffed.
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It will be OK. They “put you out” and do their thing. The worst part is the power cleanser. But it is just a procedure.
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I have a video of my wife in the recovery room after her colonoscopy. She is sleeping on her side, and all that air they pumped up her is coming out in glorious, noisy farts. Every now and then, I used to broadcast it on the TV in her office just to hear her scream.
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