Have fun in the sun! Make some vitamin d and recharge. 
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Having a bad time here. Buttons had blood in her urine over the weekend at the dog-sitter’s, and has been in steep decline. Took her to the vet Tuesday and they gave her a hail Mary antibiotic shot, but it hasn’t done the trick. She can only walk a little bit, and I’ll call the vet who does euthanasia at home this morning to find out how it works, can we get on the schedule, etc. I’d like to work out, but honestly I’m not sure it wouldn’t freak the husband out, who is a good guy but who unfortunately does not do well sorting through negative emotion. He picked a fight on Tuesday when she had trouble walking, and didn’t go with us to the vet, then spent the day working in the basement, completely shut down. I had to fix it, even though WTF.
I assume that he’s still volatile, and the workout could set off outrage that I’m so selfish or don’t care about Buttons or whatever. It also boots him out of the living room, where Buttons is.
I’m also trying to manage the work transition.
Probably what I really need is a long walk. With my dog. Which is what the husband needs, too.
We’re so sad here.
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My heart is breaking for y’all. I know how much you both love her. Nothing I say can make it hurt less but we are here for you. Big Texas sized hugs 
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This is awful. For some of us, “pets” are actually full family members. There’s nothing useful to say here other than, I wish all the best for you and hope you can get through this as best you can.
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Sending hugs to you and Buttons. I hope things work out.
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I feel for you all. That has to be terribly difficult. 
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Feel for you, sending hugs from across the ocean
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I feel for you, it is never easy
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It’s all done. The vet came at 3:30. It was very peaceful.
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She was an awesome doggy, and you all had a great time together. It’s beautiful when you can have that, even for a little while.
I’ll miss the Princess of blanket piles. 
Buttons. 
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Sorry to read of your loss.
Friday, March 7
Weight 156.5
UB day 1 - full body - 15 minute/1 mile warmup. I just wanted something quick and light to move back into things, as it’s been two weeks without anything - and additionally spent part of the two weeks being completely off the rails, eating and drinking-wise, then spent several days glued to the couch.
It felt hard! But on the other hand nowhere near as hard as this workout felt in July, when I did it for the first time. Weights and reps significantly increased despite feeling pretty ragged today in general. Although we were dead asleep last night before 9, and I slept until almost 7 this morning.
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Oh, and I got a call on the private practice phone yesterday that I didn’t even look at until this morning - a guy I worked with years ago reaching out to see if I had any openings. Yes, yes I do!
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You aren’t even in business yet and you’re growing! 
Yay!
Or are you seeing clients already? I’ve lost track of the timeline.
I start on the 18th. Chairs are now expected on the 11th, so hopefully everything will be in and set up. We just moved some of the stuff in today, and will do more tomorrow, after I presumably go through books and papers and get rid of stuff I don’t need/want. Bookcases are up and ready to be filled.
I bought a water bowl for Buttons for the new office. I think it’s the saddest thing of all. Her regular stuff - the blankets and toys - are comforting, but the new pink and while “good dog” bowl she never used breaks my heart. I was so excited about bringing her to work.
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I’m coming in late, but I’m sending you a BIG hug!! Put that “good dog” bowl on your office shelf. Buttons will always be with you!!
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Just stopping by to see how things are going.
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Mixed bag here. Things are going well for work, but it’s demanding. Just so many tiny little pieces and things to remember - updating my google business and psychology today profiles, signing up for reminder texts, worrying about delayed furniture shipments, getting tissues and water for the office, looking for my sound machine, not finding and ordering a new one, continuing to fuck with insurance, which feels like a full time job, etc, etc, etc. This morning I need to measure an end table I’m removing from the living room to take to the office because it’s the perfect size for the corner it’s in, but it goes with the office stuff, so I’ll replace it, but the original isn’t listed in black, so I need to get one from another line. Just endless bullshit. Husband is going to help do maple syrup stuff this afternoon, so if I want to see what my new chairs look like at the office I need to go early with him. No workout again.
Not sleeping well, because I keep waking up to remember things a/o worry, still sad about Buttons. I keep sort of forgetting, and then have to re-remember, like when we get home after being out. Husband is broken up, which is tough. I want to talk about her, but it makes him cry. That’s getting better, though.
I mean to work out, then get distracted by emails, e.g. need to locate/update/send document, then I look at my list and remember I should also call so-and-so, then feel tired and want to nap or scroll or watch tv. So workouts are going very poorly. I’ve done one since February 26th.
I don’t even know whether I care or not. I mean, I DO care, but not enough to do anything about it it seems. It crosses my mind that I should be “punching the clock” but the house is a mess, my laundry is piling up, the office needs to be organized now that most of the furniture is in, or will be today, and so on.
I’m filling up very nicely, schedule-wise, but am almost out of “seed money,” which isn’t even actually true, but I’ve spent a good bit on furniture and supplies and it’s part of my middle-of-the-night mental chatter. On my list for this morning is to look back at the month I started seeing patients the first time I was in private practice and see when money started coming in, an idea I had at 2:30 am. Which I’ll do instead of working out, along with putting “big fake plant” on my list of essentials, because I need it to hide the sound machine in the hallway.
I’m either depressed or overwhelmed, I guess. Hopefully the latter, because it’s almost ready. I’m missing one Ikea wardrobe thing that I’m going to keep my vacuum and other unsightly things in, but it’s not essential. Today after we get the chairs set husband will go his way and I can organize all the files and drawers and such. Putter around and get ready for Go Day, which is Tuesday.
This is what it looked like on Sunday:
And then yesterday:
But it’s a good, sunny space and I really love it. So will clients.
I overlook the Walmart, lol.
(You should know better than to ask me broad, open-ended questions, @SkyzykS. Now you have to spend the rest of your day reading the answer.)
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I think it would be natural to have anxiety in regards to opening a new private practice. I am no counselor, but I imagine what you are going through is not abnormal. Plus, losing Buttons is a shitter. I had a German Shepherd get hit by a truck about 15 years ago, I still have anxiety about my German Shepherd I have now getting hit. We have a better fence up, an invisible fence with more umpff. I am not sure that has anything to do with anything, but I do understand the losing a dog sadness. Even though that was so long ago. On another note, sometimes we have to focus on one project at a time. Yours is your practice. You can slip a session for exercise in here or there, but try not to beat yourself up over that. If I needed a counselor (and who knows, I might) I would hope to get paired with one who is as conscientious as you are. And with Wal-Mart so close, hell you can catch all of those roll back prices. Go help those people, they need you.
Edit: That office does look comfortable.
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If I don’t by now, I never will. 
Thats a really nice space. Sorry I didn’t respond earlier. I have some kind of nasty bug that has me wrapped in a blanket in front of the heater on a warm sunny day. Blah.
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