Dude, You are Swole

Off Topic
102

A guy at work told me, “I can train you to be as big as you want.” (He’s about 5’9 165 pounds skinny fat, never touched a weight in his life)

I asked, “How’s that, and has it worked for you?”

“Oh yea I used to be big, all you have to do is follow my routine you’ll be set.”

“Oh, ok and are you going to come to the gym to train me and what should I eat?”

“No that’s not important, you just have to do the routine, works for my clients all the time. I don’t to go with you, just do it.” (He had a “image consulting business”)

“How will you know if I’m doing it right, what if I half squat, what if I don’t eat, what if I skip a workout, are you psychic, how are you going to train me from your couch?”

“This is EXACTLY why I’d never train you!”

End of conversation.

103

[quote]HG Thrower wrote:

[quote]bmbweber wrote:
When i was back in highschool, i had gone to some random kids party who was from the rival highschool across town; Only to lay some pipe on this girl that was from the rival higschool.

So just about all 30 ppl that i had no idea who they were, were all in the basement and i was in the kitchen with this girl. After about a half hour of us talkin and puttin down a few shots, these drunk ass phags come up to the kitchen being all loud and shit.

Somehow the attention came to me and they all started askin obnoxiously where i went to school and bullshit. They kept going on the subject and this real obnoxious, chubby d-bag says “You obviously work out, do you play football for the school?” I replied “Nope, just lift.” This fucker decides to act tough infront of all his buddies and say “Well over at our school, we bench buses.”

So i laugh, and tell this fucker “Maybe your school lifts, but i think the only thing your lifting is your chicken wing to your mouth.” Just because im a loud mouth and say the first shit that comes to my head. So after my girl shuts my ass up and these kids walk away. I tell my girl lets get out of her and get to the business.

Walking out of the house, theres about 8 of these kids outside smoking, and the one that i make the chicken wing comment to, was standing around the corner waiting for me. So as i walk around the corner, he throws a sucker punch and gets me right in the eye. So i grabbed him and threw him in the bushes and we wrestled and shit. Kneed him in the head but nothing really. I get up and decide this fatty isnt worth my precious face and walk to my car with my girl. Jump in my car and flip down my mirror just to check my shit make sure im good, and sure enough, that fucker gave me a black eye.

Never before in my life has anyone given me a black eye and i wasnt about to let this chubby bastard, but i wasnt going to walk back into 30 on 1.

So i called up about 4 of my friends who were all national wrestlers and a few of my friends who are just badasses. We came back to this house, broke the door off the hinges, and just whooped the shit out of about 20 kids between the 7 of us. No BS.

Moral of the story: Dont be a bitch and talk shit, then cheap shot someone who will obviously fuck you up

Note: Still got the D wet after getting jumped, then fucked those kids up, then one more time before i passed out
[/quote]
Did you rip a stop sign out of the ground?[/quote]

No, but he did shit in the guy’s convertible the next day.

104

[quote]Standard Donkey wrote:

“you’re going to get muscle bound”

[/quote]

What does this even mean, and why is it bad?

105

[quote]ukrainian wrote:

[quote]Standard Donkey wrote:

“you’re going to get muscle bound”

[/quote]

What does this even mean, and why is it bad?[/quote]

Had to google it:

Considering that I am much more flexible now that I am training regularly all I can say is… bollocks. Fortunatelly the definitions further down do identify it as a myth.

B.

106

Reading this thread made me think about comments I get, when I get em. They dont come often, like nobody ever says anything to me at my gym when Im there. I guess I look like a hard ass all the time. Anyway, when the comments come its ALWAYS a question about steroids.

And the really funny ones are the old lifters who were never as big or strong and come up to me with their voices low and heads slightly down like they already know what my answer is going to be. Its always the same, “What are you takin man, for real?” I almost feel bad underwhelming them so badly with the good training and lots of food answer.

It gets annoying and when i want to yell at people I remember the only thing normal people know about athleticism, strength or bodybuilding comes from tv. And what do you see on tv? Steroids.

107

You know what really bothers me and I’m not sure why cuz I’m usually pretty easy going but it really gets under my skin. When people see me eating and say, “why do you eat so healthy” or “are you on a diet” or “Your a 23 year old kid, why are you worrying about always eating healthy”.

WTF, if I was eating a big mac and a mcflurry nobody would say shit, but if I have celery sticks with peanut butter I get all this attention. Drives me nuts. Some coworkers were going to lunch together and they invited me and just as they did I hear the secretary say, “oh he’s not gunna go, he’s like on a diet or something”.

108

[quote]optheta wrote:

[quote]legendaryblaze wrote:
Where the fuck do you guys workout that you get this dumb remarks?
All I get is “good job” and “very inspirational” etc.
And yes, i do squats and deadlifts like everyone else.[/quote]

ur an idiot [/quote]

Good one.
Learn how to spell before you even begin to try to demonstrate your lack of intellect.

109

[quote]BiP wrote:

[quote]ukrainian wrote:

[quote]Standard Donkey wrote:

“you’re going to get muscle bound”

[/quote]

What does this even mean, and why is it bad?[/quote]

Had to google it:

Considering that I am much more flexible now that I am training regularly all I can say is… bollocks. Fortunatelly the definitions further down do identify it as a myth.

B.[/quote]

Wait, it is a real phrase with a real definition? That is really stupid.

110

Muscle bound is a real term which basically says that any person that has exceptional muscle mass will have their mobility and flexibility greatly reduced.

111

Living on-campus at college, I get comments like this everyday. Don’t really care too much about them. Although the shocked look I get when people see what I am eating is quite hilarious. However their are a few things I dislike. One is how everyone assumes that you are dumb, angry, unfriendly douchebag just because you are big. I get a lot of comments from girls saying they are suprised how smart or nice I am because for some reason they automatically assumed I would be some kind of angry gorilla just because I actually look like I workout.

Another thing I dislike is how I am often introduced. My rugby nickname happens to be “Meat”. So when I am introduced some feel the need to introduce me like this “YO LADIES, THIS IS MEAT. LOOK AT HIS ARMS! HE KILLS SHIT!” thus making any conversation with new people very hard to follow up.

That and when out of shape people try to give advice or say any of my habits are unhealthy. Frequent examples are eating a diet in animal meat, drinking sugar free energy drinks, how I should be doing low intensity cardio ect. Typically when this happens I just stare at their stomach while they are giving me advice. Works almost every time. Besides this it’s mostly positive or just guys trying to convince the girls their with that I am on roids.

112

[quote]legendaryblaze wrote:
Muscle bound is a real term which basically says that any person that has exceptional muscle mass will have their mobility and flexibility greatly reduced.
[/quote]

Yup that’s what I figured he meant. Ironically enough the person who told me this was my 70 year old grandfather, who has had a quadruple bypass surgery for the heart attack he had. Needless to say my mobility and flexibility are far greater than his. It was his birthday though so I went easy on him and did not mention the irony in him calling my goals "unhealthy.:

113

the immortal “how much ya bench” or even better " how much can u lift" as if there is only one way or movemnet to “lift”

114

This thread also makes a good point. How many times do u get snide remarks at work about roids or your size or how much u eat or bringin a protein shake to work etc. If u said “hey nice titts” or “your so fat you must eat a ton”… fired instantly. But if someone calls u captain dbol everyone has a good laugh. Fed up

115

“why do you need to get any bigger”

116

[quote]younggully wrote:
“why do you need to get any bigger”
[/quote]

heard that yesterday, at the ymca. guy told me I was big enough. laughed, told him I want to get freaky big. theres no such thing as to big.

117

i used to be …INSERT… your size, strong as you, lift that. Another fave “i dont want to get as big as u” cuz it happens by accident sometimes

118

there are a few guys at work that always ask me what steroids im taking, whats the proper way to cycle, etc etc.

but the best one for me (im 185lbs and pretty toned) and this guy watched me workout and came up to me and said:“if youre going to be doing that type of workout you need to eat more” then he walks away

119

2 large women, bites donut while im drinking my protein shake, ‘’ you know, drinking that shit 3 times a day and going to the gym… (takes another bite) can’t be good for you’’ hmmmmmm

120

[quote]jbivins87 wrote:

(im pretty toned) [/quote]

gtfo

121

I worked at a law firm a few years ago, one day my boss called me into her office, this is the conversation that took place:

Me: What is up?
Boss: I need to talk to you. A few of the lawyers have informed me that you are making them feel uneasy.
Me: (Confused look, always got along great with them), What do you mean?
Boss: You drink those muscle drinks (just a regular protein shake), and everyone knows they can cause mood swings, we do not need a Hulk on our hands.
Me: (Absolutely dumbfounded) Have I done something that would lead you to believe I will “Hulk Out”?
Boss: No, but I am just trying to make sure it stays that way, anyway that stuff can not be good for you.
Me: (Nods, go into my office, type up my resignation letter, and left that day)

I was really good friends with the founder/one of the partners of the law firm, and asked him about the situation. He told me my “boss” (head of hr) didn’t like me, and thought that I thought I was better than her. I always went out of my way to talk to her, and was always very friendly.

The only thing that comes to mind that might give this impression was at lunch she would always order pizza for the office, and when everyone went to the conference room to eat I would bring my food I prepared from home. It is funny the insecurities a person will project onto you without you ever knowing, I had no idea that it was my drinking a protein shake for lunch that was making her feel like an obese slob, and not the 3 pieces of pizza she would shovel down her throat everyday for lunch.