I’m currently working full-time at a coffee shop for a summer job, which will become a part-time job when I resume my studies this fall. I drink a ton of coffee anyway, so it’s nice that while there, I can feed my monkey for free. But that’s not what this thread is about.
There’s a woman at my job from Morocco. She’s an intellegent, good woman with a degree in law who’s trying to assimilate herself in the United States before pursuing a graduate degree. She revealed to me yesterday afternoon that one of our managers had been sexually harrassing her (asked her out three times and put his hands on her back and shoulders, against her will.)
I figured that since she’d only recently moved to the U.S (last May, I believe,) she was unaware of her right to put a stop to this. She said she felt intimidated by the manager’s position of power over her, and like she was powerless to stop the situation.
I took care to illustrate that the boss knew he was doing the wrong thing and that he was a fucking chicken hawk, taking advantage of his authority and her unfamiliarity with sexual harrassment policy.
I told her that if she wished to make this clear to management, she could mention me as a witness to the manager’s inappropriate touching.
I’m posting this for three reasons. 1) I am worried that in inviting her to use my name, this could blow up in my face and I may be fired. 2) Is the evidence satisfactory to make a case against this boss and secure the safety of both this woman and other female employees. 3) I am interested to hear any similar stories from anyone who is comfortable with sharing, so that I may have some idea of how this might pan out. Thanks, folks.
P.S: Yes, I titled the thread after the movie (one of my favorites.) Anyone interested in starting a Spike Lee worship thread should know that you have at least one supporter.
Doing the right thing means doing the right thing even if it’s hard.
What do you prefer? Telling her she can’t use your name and letting your asshole boss paw her some more without consequences? Or knowing that you lost a coffee shop job, but that you helped someone get out of a shitty situation?
I don’t see much difficulty in making that choice. It’s a fucking summer time coffee shop job vs. someone’s dignity and respect.
Solution 2: You and the girls seem to be on good terms. Tell your boss she’s your new girlfriend and that there will be some unpleasantness if he comes near her again.
I don’t see any conflict here at all. I’m in favor of women standing up for themselves, but this poor woman is floundering in a new culture and is asking YOU to protect her–be a T-Man and do it! Go to management yourself and report this. The problem with confronting him personally is that then the jerk is still around to harass all future employees.
For god’s sake, all you’re risking is a coffee shop job!
Perhaps I didn’t explain myself clearly. I already invited her to use my name and I will not, no matter what, reneg on that offer. I am, without a doubt, going to report what I saw and my point of view on the matter. Why I started this thread is is explained in my previous posts.
So you did see the boss sexually harassing her? If so go ahead, if not I would wait and see. Maybe she already learned how the American legal system works.
To me if sounds like she knows the classic case of sexuall harassment and is trying to make a little $$$.
Although I know nothing about her, the wording you said she used:[quote] She said she felt intimidated by the manager’s position of power over her, and like she was powerless to stop the situation.[/quote]
Maybe she is doing a paper seeing how easily our legal system can be abused and how easy it is for her to get references.
I agree with Xylene. To be a witness, you have to directly see the inappropriate actions against her by your boss.
Has she told anyone else about her situation besides you, or does anyone else know about it? Has anyone else witnessed the harassment? Do you have cameras at your coffee shop?
You are doing the right thing by helping her out. There is no way you can get fired, you are not the one doing any harassing.
I’ve worked in clothing retail for several years, and have seen several sexual harassment situations, amongst employees, and amongst managers/employees. In this case, if the manager is the head manager of the store, and if you’ve told him to stop, and he still doesn’t, you inform the district manager/area manager (basically your’s boss’s boss).
But before you do this, you should have more witnesses to make a valid case. If it’s just one person who saw it, it basically comes across as a ‘he said-she said’ issue, and gets handled in house. But the more witnesses to the situation you have, the better, and action can be taken accordingly.
I don’t think you will suffer from this, however in the end the manager will probably get fired. (depending on circumstances) Giving her support and guidance is the right thing to do.
‘When you stand before God you cannot say “but I was told by others to do thus” or that "virtue was not convinient at the time. This will not suffice. Remember that.’
[quote]pookie wrote:
Doing the right thing means doing the right thing even if it’s hard.
[quote]threewhitelights wrote:
It’s not like you can get MORE AIDS.
Irish Muscle wrote:
But i still think you should help her. especially if shes hot.
you might get hero sex
and AIDS
[/quote]
Sure you can! Right now I have 2 aids. One monitors my diet and the other is my trainer. I’m thinking of getting a third to help me with my homework.
Thanks for the replies, folks. The reason why I was worried about being fired is because I’m going against a boss, and supposing things don’t work out, he might be able to justify my termination to the other managers. Basically, I don’t understand how these things work, so for all I know, this could happen. If it does, so be it.
Oh, BTW, Irish – hero sex? Why would I want to have sex with a sandwich? I don’t get it.
Not legal advice… In many states a party who reports sexual harassment and is fired can sue for retaliation. Massachusetts is a very liberal state, so I would be surprised if you didn’t have some sort of employment protection on the books.
[quote]threewhitelights wrote:
‘When you stand before God you cannot say “but I was told by others to do thus” or that "virtue was not convinient at the time. This will not suffice. Remember that.’
I think losing your job is the last thing to worry about, there are lots of jobs out there so if you do get fired, you will probably find something else.
If I were you I would support her right to take legal action, however if that isn’t what she wants to do than I would respect that as well.
Least this way you can black mail your boss/manager if he tries to pull something over you.
Also, aren’t there cameras around your place of business?
I worked at a fast food joint and there were cameras all over the place. If your manager did sexually assault this woman and it is on tape thats all the proof you need.
What proof will you have that it was against her will?
Did she say stop.
Touched her back and shoulders? you might want to find out what is considered sexual harassment first.
I’m far from an authority on sexual harassment, but I’ve seen people touch shoulders and back millions of times at work.
One minute you said she revealed to you, the next minute you state that you’ve seen it. Why would she have to reveal it to you, if you saw it? If you go into management with conflicting reports like this, then YES it is more likely your job will be on the line. Since it looks like you have some other agenda.
Sexual harassment is pretty much defined as anything that a man does or says that offends a woman. I realize that sounds sexist but we just went through training courses at my job and the that’s the bottom line. Seriously, if I had said that out loud and a woman with a big butt heard me say “bottom” and took offense, I would be out on mine.
We were counseled that it’s the way a person (I mean women of course, guys don’t give a shit) interprets and feels about your words that count and that you should go out of your way to understand them emotionally so you don’t say anything potentially offensive to them. Now I, personally, don’t have time to psycho-analyze every co-worker so it’s become my policy to simply not have social contact with women at work. It kind of sucks but my quirky sense of humor would have me in trouble in no time.
I wouldn’t worry too much. If this woman was offended by that manager in any way and files a complaint, he’ll be out of there the very same day. It’s just the way it is right now.
