There are a few guys saying the same thing about how there must be something else going on and that she may be cheating or a multitude of other things.
My question to you would be how could you let her walk away with an excuse like that. That is just weak.
Is it that you didnt really love her and wanted out yourself. My feeling is that you had/have two initial options. Either prove to her that you love her and let her know how you are going to change to meet her needs (as long as she is reciprocating). Or if she isnt prepared to accept this and put in the work and trust that is needed to fix up the marriage, your second option is to find out the real reason for her wanting to leave and then re-assess your options depending on what her real answer is.
i have explained my position, told her that I will do anything to fix this up, trouble is she is just not receptive. I haven’t given up without a fight.
The unfortunate part…or fortunate for that matter is that she will come sobbing back to you at some point. What to do at that point will be your decision.
She may take half but she will get zero of your dedication, hard work and commitment. Dont let her take that.
My observation of these weasels is that it’s too easy for them to observe, then do and say the right things to somebody who is getting twice the attention now. I hate people like that…mess around with other people who are single…stay away from the attached people.
Not to be a misogynist here or anything, but acting like an asshole and treating them poorly will have you do better with women on average. Typically the worse I treat a woman, the better she treats me. There is a bit of an art to it, but acting like a sycophant isn’t the way to keep a woman happy. [/quote]
Does your momma know about this? Sounds like you need a good beating, son.
[quote]Harley_63 wrote:
The unfortunate part…or fortunate for that matter is that she will come sobbing back to you at some point. What to do at that point will be your decision.
She may take half but she will get zero of your dedication, hard work and commitment. Dont let her take that.
My observation of these weasels is that it’s too easy for them to observe, then do and say the right things to somebody who is getting twice the attention now. I hate people like that…mess around with other people who are single…stay away from the attached people.
Hey Legend…do you know the guy?[/quote]
yeah i know him, weird thig is he looks like Phill collins from Genesis, short bald glasses etc
[quote]legend wrote:
Chinadoll thanks for the kind words. All work on the house has stopped now, as it looks like i’ll have to give her 1/2 of everything in the divorce…booohooo[/quote]
Legend, Dont think that I was trying to put shit on you in my last post. I am in a very similar situation (only the time frame is longer and there is no house involved) so I guess that I am just asking the questions of you that I have been asking of myself lately while I try to sort myself out.
I guess that I am lucky that both myself and my wife have now agreed that we belong together and are doing everything that we can to sort our shit out to make the marriage what we both want it to be. This is going to be a slow procress at this point as we are currently seperated geographically due to work and study. But this is also good for me. It is giving me the opportunity to sort out my own stuff outside of the marriage and maybe even grow up a bit.
Sorry to go on about my own shit if you post.
I really hope that things work out for the very best for you, whatever that may be
[quote]legend wrote:
for your wife or partner tonight.
I have spent the last 3 months working too hard, then going home and bulding my house
As a result my wife has been neglected too long, and she is divorcing me
Don’t let the obsession for muscle ruin your life[/quote]
As a result of 3 months of neglect, she will divorce you? Please! that was the tip of the iceberg. What kind of relationship did you have before? Did you brush her off first? Did she brush you off years ago but you were too blind to see? There’s a lot more to this story than what you’re putting on.
You are probably right though! You have been neglecting her too long and it started way before you built a house. Maybe she was never your equal. Then again, maybe you are beneath her… who fucking knows… but don’t blame a house or your obsession with muscles…
to be honest, we seemed to get on great, did everything together, and always had a good laugh. She has had some medical issues that i supported her through.
it must have been the tip of the iceberg as you say, but looking very coldly at the whole relationship, it can’t see any major problems. But maybe I am a very insensitive guy who wouldn’t spot the signs until it ran over me
Anyway i need to stop wingeing and take positive action to save what money i have left and get on with my life.
[quote]legend wrote:
to be honest, we seemed to get on great, did everything together, and always had a good laugh. She has had some medical issues that i supported her through.
it must have been the tip of the iceberg as you say, but looking very coldly at the whole relationship, it can’t see any major problems. But maybe I am a very insensitive guy who wouldn’t spot the signs until it ran over me
Anyway i need to stop wingeing and take positive action to save what money i have left and get on with my life.[/quote]
I had a similar situation years ago… it blindsides you, although she will blame lack of attention, it was her responsibility to tell you…hard work, dedication , and fidelity are no reasons for a breakup.
It is never easy to respond to posts like this, because you never know the whole truth or the veracity of the poster, however; giving the benefit of the doubt…3 months is a short period of time not enough to constitute neglect.
I get so disappointed in society in general these days. Everything is too easy, we are conditioned not to have to work at anything, especially marriage.
I will have been married 10 years come February. We have been close to bankruptcy, dealt with infertility (not an easy thing for a man to deal with), dealt with the resulting depression and anger (not pretty) and that was all in the first 2 years. There was more, but we won’t go into all that. Then…we opted for donor insemination to have a child, again not an easy thing for a man, and after that… My husband began working for a company where he was barely ever home, and me with a baby. He worked for this company for 2 years and was gone for 2-3 months and home for a month, then gone for a month home for a week kind of deal. So he quit that job because we talked and I told him how difficult it was to be at home as a “basically” single mom (it was alot more indepth than that). Took a wage cut. Now we make ends meet where before, we had more than enough to spare and we are happier now. We have a strong relationship. We talk.
All that said…
Marriage is work.
Anyone who tells you different is lying.
I am so sorry if she was not willing to hang in and go through the process of dealing with her issues. Good luck in your future, whatever you decide.
[quote]Massif wrote:
I’m gonna drop a big old fashioned Tube Steak Boogie on this thread. I don’t think I’ve done that before, but in this case, I think it’s warranted.
T. S. B.[/quote]
Massif, my man! Where you been? You evidently have not been informed of the new protocol.
The proper phrase to use in a TSB situation, as authorized by Cpt. Vegita, is as follows:
I think this is a great problem nowadays, with the Internet and messaging.
Someone you don’t know, who you don’t have to do any boring real life things with, is always more exciting than the drudgery of real life.
Anyway, if you win a woman by chat/text messages, guess how you will lose her… because she’ll always be looking for some unreal fantasy.
I can’t even relate how many stories of this you hear, people meeting and/or breaking up via chat. They go on to repeat themselves endlessly.
Anyway, yes, you can ignore your significant other, to the point that she doesn’t think you find her appealing or attractive.
In today’s day and age, where many people base their self-worth on how much you are attracted to them, that will sour a relationship.
If society wasn’t so screwed up in its priorities, and people were more confident in themselves, they wouldn’t be looking to chat to deliver a fantasy that makes them feel good about themselves.