Do Any of You have STEP KIDS?

Off Topic
21

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]LankyMofo wrote:

[quote]doogie wrote:

[quote]strungoutboy21 wrote:
Would you think it is more difficult to connect with the child if they have an absent father who they don’t really know or if they already have a dad who has some type of partial custody?[/quote]

Depends on the dad. If the present father is rational, that could be a decent situation. If he’s bitter at mom and trying get back at her through the kid, that would suck. If it’s an absent dad, the kid could either just not care about him or devise some type of Fantasy Dad in their mind to compare you to.

My daughter’s dad only popped in a few times a year, even though he lived a couple of hours away (not far by Texas standards at all). Swoop in, take her out for a fun filled day with no discipline and her every request being met. Then he slithers back to his new family for 6 months.

She idolized him when she was really young. When he would tell her he was coming X weekend and then not show up at all, completely crushing her, she would take it out on her mom and me. He could do no wrong.

It wasn’t until she was about 12 that she was smart/strong enough to accept that her dad was a total flake. That’s about the age I feel like she just decided I was her dad, I was the one taking care of her, I was the one who was there for her day in and day out, and he was the guy who tried to buy her affection every now and then.

Before that there was always a hint of “you’re not my real dad”, especially when I had to discipline her. After she had the epiphany that I was her best option, I never got that feeling from her again.

I’m divorced from her mother now and my daughter is in England, but I talk/chat/text with her a couple of times a week (more often than her mother does and certainly more often that her father).[/quote]

Despite the divorces and shitty dad, that’s actually a great story.
[/quote]

He finally won his step daughter over and then her mother divorced him and that is a great story?

How about not having relationships with single moms or invest even a farthing into their children?

How about no story instead of that great a story?

How about single moms dont give a fuck, they say they do, but their actions scream they dont?

How about not contributing to or be understanding of child abuse, which single mom-dome is. [/quote]

How about we all be terrified of being fucked over?

How about as a result we carefully avoid caring about anyone and call it “politics” or a “rational reaction”?

How about we live a life of solitude, broken only by sad, meaningless encounters?

Why would you come in here and tell people who are expressing joy in their relationships that they ought not have them?

[/quote]

How about if it works for them, it works for them.

How about if some people win the lottery you are still a dolt if you play?

22

[quote]orion wrote:

He finally won his step daughter over and then her mother divorced him and that is a great story?

How about not having relationships with single moms or invest even a farthing into their children?

How about no story instead of that great a story?

How about single moms dont give a fuck, they say they do, but their actions scream they dont?

How about not contributing to or be understanding of child abuse, which single mom-dome is. [/quote]

At least I got two great kids out of the deal, and won’t die all alone as a bitter, lonely old man. The divorce was worth that.

And I do have custody of my son.

23

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

How about we all be terrified of being fucked over?

[/quote]

How about we recognize that the way things are you are well withing the realm of reality believing that the fucking over will mosz likely be done to you, if you have a penis?

If women were offered the deal men are, we would not hear the end of it, coming from you, no less.

So, spare me the indignation.

Edited

24

[quote]doogie wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

He finally won his step daughter over and then her mother divorced him and that is a great story?

How about not having relationships with single moms or invest even a farthing into their children?

How about no story instead of that great a story?

How about single moms dont give a fuck, they say they do, but their actions scream they dont?

How about not contributing to or be understanding of child abuse, which single mom-dome is. [/quote]

At least I got two great kids out of the deal, and won’t die all alone as a bitter, lonely old man. The divorce was worth that.

And I do have custody of my son.[/quote]

I will not only be a bitter and lonely, I will also be a dirty old man.

Thanks for the ringing endorsement.

Well, if it works for you, it works for you, I will not lift a finger to get the same results.

I can be a bitter, lonely perv for significantly less effort, and I think it is the better outcome.

25

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

How about we all be terrified of being fucked over?

[/quote]

How about we recognize that the way things are you are well withing the realm of reality believing that the fucking over will mosz likely be done to you, if you have a penis?

If women were offered the deal men are, we would not hear the end of it, coming from you, no less.

So, spare me the indignation.

Edited[/quote]

Meh. We’re all out there navigating the same muddy waters.

26

[quote]strungoutboy21 wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]LankyMofo wrote:

[quote]doogie wrote:

[quote]strungoutboy21 wrote:
Would you think it is more difficult to connect with the child if they have an absent father who they don’t really know or if they already have a dad who has some type of partial custody?[/quote]

Depends on the dad. If the present father is rational, that could be a decent situation. If he’s bitter at mom and trying get back at her through the kid, that would suck. If it’s an absent dad, the kid could either just not care about him or devise some type of Fantasy Dad in their mind to compare you to.

My daughter’s dad only popped in a few times a year, even though he lived a couple of hours away (not far by Texas standards at all). Swoop in, take her out for a fun filled day with no discipline and her every request being met. Then he slithers back to his new family for 6 months.

She idolized him when she was really young. When he would tell her he was coming X weekend and then not show up at all, completely crushing her, she would take it out on her mom and me. He could do no wrong.

It wasn’t until she was about 12 that she was smart/strong enough to accept that her dad was a total flake. That’s about the age I feel like she just decided I was her dad, I was the one taking care of her, I was the one who was there for her day in and day out, and he was the guy who tried to buy her affection every now and then.

Before that there was always a hint of “you’re not my real dad”, especially when I had to discipline her. After she had the epiphany that I was her best option, I never got that feeling from her again.

I’m divorced from her mother now and my daughter is in England, but I talk/chat/text with her a couple of times a week (more often than her mother does and certainly more often that her father).[/quote]

Despite the divorces and shitty dad, that’s actually a great story.
[/quote]

He finally won his step daughter over and then her mother divorced him and that is a great story?

How about not having relationships with single moms or invest even a farthing into their children?

How about no story instead of that great a story?

How about single moms dont give a fuck, they say they do, but their actions scream they dont?

How about not contributing to or be understanding of child abuse, which single mom-dome is. [/quote]
Dumb response as usual.[/quote]

Yeah, throw, yourself into the meat grinder, and feel superior every second of it.

There is nothing I need to do to you, I just need to step aside and be the representation of the people you want to show it to.

Come on, show me.

27

I married a single mother. Pretty happy w/ my decision. They aren’t all bad orion.

28

I can’t believe you guys are still taking orion seriously.

29

[quote]StevenF wrote:
I married a single mother. Pretty happy w/ my decision. They aren’t all bad orion. [/quote]

I am not (necessarily) saying that they are.

I am saying, why roll the dice.

30

[quote]LankyMofo wrote:
I can’t believe you guys are still taking orion seriously. [/quote]

I dont either.

“Holde, hehre, reine Wesen”, the whole lot.

31

Meaning, a woman with a track record of making bad decisions in a critical area, thats a couple of red flags right there.

You remember the Red Armies processions in October?

Thats the amount of red flags.

Could she have learned from her mistakes?

Yes, do you want to bet your future emotional , social and financial health on it ?

I think my answer is obvious, but everybody needs to answer that for himself, which begins with posing the QUESTION.

32

Is the greatest mistake her failed relationship or the flesh turd(s) that sprang from it?

33

[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
Is the greatest mistake her failed relationship or the flesh turd(s) that sprang from it?[/quote]

Neither.

Honestly, its about bringing children into this world who will have no, or no decent father.

I wont bore you with the statistics, but biological fathers kind of matter.

Women who have kids and no father to show for it are either to quick on the draw when it comes to dismissing fathers from their duties or are horrible when it comes to who they choose to let impregnate them.

Both of those are not ringing endorsements, if you can fuck over your own kids because it just felt right in the moment, just no.

No, no, no, if you cant take that seriously, I wont think that you are serious, because I dont mind a bit of clowning around on the edges, but that is pretty much the core.

34

What happened to your father orion ?

35

[quote]orion wrote:

I am saying, why roll the dice. [/quote]

You don’t invest much do you?

Of if you do, like 90% in treasuries?

The greatest rewards come from taking risk, and yes, loving another man’s (in this case) child like they are your own is a very, very large risk.

I’m just thankful people in my life have been more forgiving of my past “mistakes” than you seem to be here.

36

[quote]huslinbriks wrote:
Do you get along with them? Love them as your own? [/quote]

I am a step-kid; adopted by my step-father at 2 due to my biological father’s permanent incarceration in Walpole MA (with no hope of parole) for being a piece of human shit.

We are also a soon-to-be parents AND we are going to be the adoptive parents of my niece and nephew due to incarceration-of-both parents (Breaking Bad was based in New Mexico for a reason) then the suicide of my older biological brother, (who apparently took after my biological dad), despite being a National Merit Scholar and getting a degree in chemistry. Smart, but lazy and a liar.

My step-father/adoptive father rocked. He was a Marine, a legit Vietnam-era hero, and fantastic. I love my half-bothers and sisters and love him. He and I are good friends. He taught me to ride a horse, shoot, love the county, ski, work hard, shake hands, and generally be a man. He is my REAL father.

My wife is a little spooked about being insta-mom, but the kids are very young, which is very important, I think.

37

[quote]Biskui wrote:
What happened to your father orion ?
[/quote]

Was definitely not a man to have children with.

38

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

I am saying, why roll the dice. [/quote]

You don’t invest much do you?
[/quote]

I do.

When the risk is worth the potential reward.

39

[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:

[quote]huslinbriks wrote:
Do you get along with them? Love them as your own? [/quote]

I am a step-kid; adopted by my step-father at 2 due to my biological father’s permanent incarceration in Walpole MA (with no hope of parole) for being a piece of human shit.

We are also a soon-to-be parents AND we are going to be the adoptive parents of my niece and nephew due to incarceration-of-both parents (Breaking Bad was based in New Mexico for a reason) then the suicide of my older biological brother, (who apparently took after my biological dad), despite being a National Merit Scholar and getting a degree in chemistry. Smart, but lazy and a liar.

My step-father/adoptive father rocked. He was a Marine, a legit Vietnam-era hero, and fantastic. I love my half-bothers and sisters and love him. He and I are good friends. He taught me to ride a horse, shoot, love the county, ski, work hard, shake hands, and generally be a man. He is my REAL father.

My wife is a little spooked about being insta-mom, but the kids are very young, which is very important, I think.[/quote]

Alright, you having a step father was good for you.

I am not trying to be a dick here, for a change, but you posted a few things about your mother.

Was it good for your step father too?

40

[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:

[quote]huslinbriks wrote:
Do you get along with them? Love them as your own? [/quote]

I am a step-kid; adopted by my step-father at 2 due to my biological father’s permanent incarceration in Walpole MA (with no hope of parole) for being a piece of human shit.

We are also a soon-to-be parents AND we are going to be the adoptive parents of my niece and nephew due to incarceration-of-both parents (Breaking Bad was based in New Mexico for a reason) then the suicide of my older biological brother, (who apparently took after my biological dad), despite being a National Merit Scholar and getting a degree in chemistry. Smart, but lazy and a liar.

My step-father/adoptive father rocked. He was a Marine, a legit Vietnam-era hero, and fantastic. I love my half-bothers and sisters and love him. He and I are good friends. He taught me to ride a horse, shoot, love the county, ski, work hard, shake hands, and generally be a man. He is my REAL father.

My wife is a little spooked about being insta-mom, but the kids are very young, which is very important, I think.[/quote]

Damn Ruff, that’s crazy. She’s only a little spooked? She’s quite the trooper.