Temporary insanity. Well no, I will probably maintain it for a while.
Gyms still closed here, probably for at least two more weeks. Getting a bit stir crazy.
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Yeah, I won’t complain because I can train, but this whole situation has been too long. Still hasn’t done any internship, still don’t know when my studies will resume…
20/03
A1. Zercher Carry 3 x 20m with 90 kgs
A2. Hanging Leg Raises 3 x max
A3. Hammer Curl 3 x 8 with 16 kgs DBs
B. Black on oxygen with assault bike instead of run and a partner
So that’s 30 cal assault bike while my partner does KB swings with a 20 kgs KBs. Then we switch, and 5 rounds.
Did the first round like that but figured NO WAY. I did 2 mins for the 30 cals after having done more than 70 swings (he did the 30 cals in 3 mins, his cardio is his weakness). Plus the bell had handles too big, so all my fingers couldn’t be on it and grip was just horrible. So I reduced to 16 cals.
In total this was still 13 mins of continuous nightmare. 94 cals assault bike and almost 250 swings…
Zercher carries, finally the first time I can do them for real with a barbell! They are really tough and challenge the core greatly. Love it
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Pffft @aldebaran mate that’s an easy BOO workout ffs kiddo.
You need to spend more time getting that gas tank up to scratch instead of taking mountain top selfies with your top off !!!
Just joking mate, great effort. Great to see you ripping up the tactical barbell
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Thank you for the discovery. Used some of it for a client who wanted to do a Spartan race. Really great stuff.
I promised I wouldn’t talk about girls again or whatever but I want to ramble for once, for it’s been quite a while. Also I’m drinking vodka and chartreuse while listening to sad music.
I had a crush on a girl on instagram a few months ago. I took my balls and started talking to her etc. We’ve been chatting everyday for a like 3 months, and also a bit before that.
Been trying to see her several times, without success, as I’m quite busy and so is she (a nurse).
This week, she had no time againa s she’s chaning job and all, so I had an honest, serious discussion with her about her. We’ve been growing very close the last few weeks, talking from dawn to eve, she sent me even some pictures in her bra. I’ve never met anyone that makes me laugh as much, and it’s so much pleasure talking to her.
Anyway we talk about everything, that i’m not here just to fuck her, that I grew found of her and all. She’s being honest and all with me and we have a nice conversation.
Then she tells me she met a guy in real life a few days ago. And that shee feels bad because she likes so much talking to me, that she thinks I’m perfect, I have everything for me and all, but she doesn’t know me for real
I thought my heart was bursting in my chest, as I head to the cellar to grab some old vadka bottle.
I kept my composure and told her that we should meet. That she’s in a shitty predicament, but she has to think about what she really wants. But if she really likes me and talking to me like that that we should meet, because we’ll never really know each other if we don’t meet up. That if we meet up and it clicks, fine. if it doesn’t she can continue with her other guy with regret. But what if she continues with him without seeing me, and it doesn’t work? For sure she will regret it dearly.
So we’ll see. She went to bed as she worked 6-20 but tomorrow I’ll just tell her that either we meet this week, either it’s over, for I’ll have to protect myself.
So I’ll know tomorrow already about this finally…
A girlf friend called me yesterday. I was at her’s yesterday. And she was already telling me “how long are you going to wait? Why aren’t you hitting on the nice girls that are here right now at the party?”.
She couldn’t not understand how I could stay faithful to someone I’d never met, or that I did stay more than a year single lol, like you my friend @ChongLordUno
But I don’t know, I think I’d be dishonest to talk to a girl while thinking of another you know?
Le coeur a ses raisons que la raison ne comprend pas.
I’ve had several girls talk to me… But I just think of the one you know…
It felt good having so much support from my loved ones. Really, this is the best thing you can have in life.
This whole story has been quite stressing me these few weeks/months for I grew feelings for her quickly. At elast I’ll be more free, either way.
Fuck me I write like a gothic novel author from the XIXth
Sometimes it just feels useless you know. Being the good guy, being always honest with people, talking with my heart. You’re not always reward. Sometimes I wonder why I do all this. I can feel the demons calling back to me. I drank like a pig yesterday even though I managed to stop at 7 pm. I even took a little bit of coke…
My girl friend was just telling me how great I am, how good of a person I am, that I know where I go. But the truth is I feel just as lost as everyone.Trainign too hard at the gym, doing bullshit that keeps me from progressing. eating garbage and drinking all the time ugh…
I really have to keep up my game if I want to made it.
Anyway, tomorrow will be most likely the begining of something else. Lol it’s supposed to be 1RM bench
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Dearie fucking me @aldebaran my love hungry friend
I’m not the best guy for this shit as I can be quite harsh and come across like a complete dickhead.
Your putting all your eggs in one basket mate. You’re creating a fantasy in your head over some chick you’ve never met. Easily done in this tinder fuelled age.
Sounds like she’s keeping you down as an option while waiting for some Chad to swoop in which unfortunately for you, seems to have happened.
Yet you’re ‘remaining faithful’.
Sounds like that approach isn’t working to well for you mate.
As soon as you make contact with these internet women, arrange to meet up ASAP.
Time is money my man and you don’t want to be wasting time talking to these fantasy chicks.
Honestly man, approach these situations like you do with workouts.
With intensity. Arrange to meet and see if you hit it off. If not, move onto the next. You’re a long time dead my man.
Just get those fuxking notches under your belt and build some fuxking armour dude arrrrgh.
If a ginger bearded maniac like me can get an attractive wife and have babies then a young stud muffin like you should be doing some fucking damage.
Fucking Own it bro. OWN IT
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No my friend, the world is harsh, and I need some harshness, and you’re certainly not the first tonight nor the harshest 
You’re completely right. It’s just that the other girls felt plain. I fell in love, you know.
I thank you no matter what. I’ll be fine, I’m just a bit dramatic as always.
I never felt better, and I have a nice career ahead in which to put my efforts.
For sure I think I’ll stay weary of women for a while though. Last one left me for my brother, this one plays with me for 5 months come on 
Truth be told, I think I’m too intense with my workouts, not enough with my women!
“Comme un soleil perdu dans l’univers” / “Like a sun lost in the universe”
Been listening a lot of the same music lately. Something old, That I’ve known for almost 15 years. The only time I really find french lyrics beautiful and not cliché. Here’s my drunken translation.
I think it’s nice because it talks about rebirth. And events like this that hurt us are like a rebirth. Like the phenix we rise from the pain and ashes, stronger.
"|Le cercle de la renaissance
Dans le Désert de mes Nuits,
Le Chaos s’est installé,
Immense et Cynique,
Entraînant au fond de l’Abîme
Le Fleuve de mes Sentiments.
Pour la Splendeur du Néant,
J’ai traversé le Miroir
Et me suis laissé tomber, éternellement,
Dans cet Univers sans Fin.
De la Morte Lune aux Flammes des ténèbres,
Ma Chute sera…
Et quand mon heure sera venue,
Je disparaîtrai afin de réapparaître… Encore.
Dans le Désert de tes Nuits,
Le Serpent a pris place.
Rêve et Réalité ne font plus qu’un
Et le Poison qui coule dans tes Veines
T’ouvre les Portes de l’Au-Delà…
La magie de ses Yeux
T’enivre des Visions les plus Secrètes,
Celles que l’on ne voit qu’une seule fois.
Le Voyage se termine bientôt,
Il reste cette Rivière a franchir
Et les Parfums de l’éternité t’y mèneront.
Chavirer dans les Mers de Sang,
Plonger dans l’Infini de l’Espace,
Brûler tragiquement jusqu’au Trépas;
Mourir afin de Revivre encore.|"
"The Circle of Rebirth
In the Desert of my nights
Chaos has set place
Immense and cynical
Dragging to the abyss
The river of my feelings
For the void’s splendor
I passed through the mirror
And let myself fall forever
In this endless universe
From the dead moon to the darkness’ flames
My fall will be
And when my time will come
I’ll disappear, so I can reappear… once more
In the desert of your nights
The serpent took place
Dream and reality are one
And the poison that runs through your veins
Opens the doors to the Beyond…
The magic of his eyes
Intoxicates you with his most secret visions
Those we only see once
The voyage ends soon.
There’s only this river to cross
And the scents of eternity will bring you to it
Capsizing in the seas of blood
Plunge into the infinity of space
Burn tragically to your demise
Die to live again.
Not that you asked for advice, and while I do feel sympathetic to your sadness you continue repeating the same pattern. There’s nothing wrong with being open and honest but if that is what triggers you to develop feelings for a person hold off until the other person can reciprocate.
Anyway, if you hate the destination then stop taking the same path. Also, learn to find another solution than drinking and drugs. If you exhaust all other options they’ll still be there but try something else, yeah?
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Indeed… But what is the point in not being myself you know? I want to find someones that loves me as I am. And I’m 30, I’m a nice, I have accepted that, I won’t change now, I want someone that wants a nice guy ahah
I know I know it’s bad. But tonight I don’t want to do anything, and I really don’t know how I’ll manage to fall asleep withouth a numb brain
I have no experience with love, and definitely do not represent a typical female, but research supports @ChongLordUno ’s advice.
In fact, studies show that the best strategy is probably NOT to chat a lot before meeting irl precisely to prevent fantasies about each other.
You can still be yourself without being fully vulnerable right at the start. You have a great sense of humour and love fitness. Maybe start with those (or some other common interests) and avoid more emotional topics at the start
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I’ve been there, chick I met online, the back and forth with her was great. She seemed awesome. We met and something seemed off. Backed away, but we start talking again and we just hit it off in text. Meet again and things go okay, but still something seemed off. We talked and met off and on for a year before she came over and had sex. She spent the night and we talked and then I found out what was off. She is a Trump supporter and believes everything he said and believes in conspiracy theories (She’s CRAZY). All this to say that you may be better off? Who knows. I’ve met so many women, I could fill your head with stories for days.
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100% agree.
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No real advice here and you didn’t ask it, but: while I respect what @ChongLordUno and others said, I’m a nice guy like you. 11 years ago I got married, we are about to have our 4th kid, I wouldn’t trade my marriage for anything in the world.
But here’s the crazy part: we met in person, but lived far apart. We had a long-distance relationship with zero sex and a few in-person meetings, for 2 years.
Then we finally got married, she moved in, and etc.
So while you’re probably best served listening to the sound advice given, particularly to take action and not wallow in self-pity, the fact is love is about much more than sex and there are real, good relationships built on long distance talking.
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Yeah I agree and trust me I tried ahah
I did not, but after a few months talking all the time and all, you kinda grow closer to each other. I’m also a very sociable person, and I don’t mind talking about this kind of stuff anymore. I used to never talk about my feelings
Well you probably dodged a bullet there
@jdm135 that’s wholesome and hopeful to hear, really.
Oh I’m aware of that now. Well I never was a womanizer. Got one on-night-stand 11 years ago and that’s it.
I haven’t had sex since my ex left me, a solid year ago. And I could have, but I don’t really care for sex without feelings.
Thanks for the messages guys. I’m keeping hope. This will just probably reinforce my resolve to diet harder and stop thinking about girls for a while and work harder on my business. There’s always a silver lining
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22/03
A. Bench Press 1 x 118, 3 x 108 kgs
B1. Incline DB Bench 3 x 8 with 32 kgs
B2. Wide-grip Neutral Lats Pulldown 3 x 10 with 70 kgs
B3. Kettlebell Halo 3 x 12 with 20 kgs
C1. Dips 3 x max
C2. Seal Rows 3 x 10 with 26 kgs
C3. GHD Crunches 3 x max
Well, having slept 3 hours, barely eaten, alcohol and with this level of emetional stress, my systemic fatigue is through the roof. I knew it was gonna be shitty
Barely made 118 with a little finger help from the partner (last time was 120…) I just had no fire, no drive in me. The backup was a bit better
Then the rest was so hard… My head was spinning, almost wanted to puke. Just zero energy, no mental. Right pec feeling better but not recovered yet
I’m gonna do a hard deload to process all this…
Trying to be tough but I’m just hurt and depressed. Went to the gym early because I didn’t want to stay home. Don’t want to do anything, don’t enjoy anything, just tired. Been thinking her from morn to dusk every day for so long. Most of my stories on IG were just for her to react and start a new convo. This is going to be a tough few days ahead…
My mate did 125 today so that’s + 15 on his squat, +10 on his bench. He’s been staying at maintenance while me… The usuals:
• Overdoing it
• Poor diet
• Getting heartbroken again
• Alcohol and such
I’ll never be able to progress if I keep doing the same shit… I just did +4 on squat, + 5 on bench. Good thing is I don’t really want to eat either. My heart is pounding so much waiting for her next message to destroy me once and for all
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I guess its only a matter of time until we know, but are you setting yourself up for failure here? Unless I missed it, you are awaiting her decision, not a predetermined outcome. Theres hope today, right?
And, of course you know that you have allowed your wellbeing to rest in someone else’s hands, without a commitment from her before you gave her that level of control. Definitely a pattern to break next time.
Anyway I’m sorry for your struggle. Life goes on, try not to wallow in it. You have an excellent sense of purpose outside of relationships, use that for drive.
Well she said she prefered to stop, because it would be weird for me and she doesn’t want to play two games.
Right, so I wasn’t even worth a couple of hours to chat after all, when she meant the world to me. I think she just played with me all along…
But how ahah? After two weeks speaking to her I was on the hook…
Anyway, here are two pics from today…
You can see I haven’t slept, but I still look decent enough. Not enough for girls though 
Chatting with a girl she says most girls like hot/cold - follow me I flee you/ flee me I follow you. That I’m probably too nice and that girls don’t want a perfect guy.
But I’m just tired of the game you know, toying with people and feelings and sex, I really don’t like this. I try to be honest, myself, to the point… But maybe the world doesn’t run like that in our time
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That first photo man
Is that your ‘I’ve been strung along by some tinder chick and I’m raging’ face
Honestly @aldebaran my handsome friend. You need to say ‘fuck this’ and develop that killer edge.
Women can smell a lack of confidence from a thousand paces and it rips right out your posts.
Confidence can only be gained from repetition. You need to put yourself out there man. Honestly just do it and stop feeling sorry for yourself my main man 
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Yeah for sure! But I’m not interested in going through women, just finding the one, and I have trouble believing I’ll find her being something else than myself 
And this is why you’re constantly banging your head against a brick wall
You’re waiting for ‘that one’
They don’t exist mate.
Once you’ve stayed with a woman for a few years you’ll be like ‘what the actual fuxk’
Just get on some dates and work that dating muscle ffs
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Yeha you’re right. I guess I should have said someone that makes my heart go oomf when I see her.
I’ll try when I’ll have my own flat and finally be a coach