I would say just go on dates. You don’t have to sleep with them.
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Dates are not really in the air right now. Especially since I’m not on apps (tried a couple weeks, really not my cup of tea)
Honestly I just don’t want to deal with girls entirely 
The risk/reward ratio is not attractive to me
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Looking good anyway.
I don’t think theres anything wrong with being who you are, maybe dont try girls until it comes naturally. You have more important things to do with your life right now.
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Sorry about all the crap. Hope you can, in the future, retain the ability to become emotionally invested with another human being without perpetuating the cycle of becoming so attached you become destroyed regardless of the duration of the relationship. Maybe you have an easier time experiencing limerence than I do, I don’t know. Regardless of what the underpinning mechanics of your emotional response are the end result sucks and my heart goes out to you. Hope you can get out of it.
And don’t compare your progress to progress 
Maybe you have different leverages. Maybe, mechanically, your ability to do work has improved 1:1 with your friend. Maybe it hasn’t. At least you are not regressing.
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Sorry to hear about your pain mate.
I’m not going to belittle it, I understand that you’re a passionate guy and that this experience upsets you, even if you haven’t met this girl yet.
I’m not gonna give much commentary in regards to attracting women or drinking, that wouldn’t be too authentic but as a ground rule you should not try to drink away your problems. Most of us do it from time to time and I’m not gonna judge that but it can quickly become a pattern and then a habit if things continously don’t go your way and this is your coping mechanism. And fucking keep your hands of coke man.
It seems like you get emotionally invested very quickly with women. I’m not going to tell you how to change that or that you necessarily need to but you should be self aware of this and keep it in mind. It might help your judgement.
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Well you taught me something, thank you!
Final note on the subject then we move on from her… This time I wasn’t crazy I swear! Even my gym partner, who’s the one I’ve been constantly telling everything, screenshotting convos etc since the beginning… He’s a womanizer who sleeps with lots of girls because he’s afraid of comitment and getting hurt and very suspicious of women. Even he thought she was genuine. I mean, the relationship kept getting better and better and so on. We were talking and laughing all the time and she was telling me how much she liked me and all, sending me message from 5 am to 10 pm lol
And these last messages ugh where I told her everything I did was genuine and I hopes she knows it and that I’m very hrut etc… the emojis and the sentences she was using… Either she was cold or oblivious like a sociopath, or she never cared about me at all.
I fell for it greatly.
For sure I’m happy I made some progress but I’m unhappy with myself and what I could have done better. For what? Someone who toyed with me probably
I’m usually a hedonist, I want good food and alcohol when I’m happy. I was so happy on saturday, from all the thing she’d said to me and our conversation. So happy, I thought for sure that was it. I guess that’s why it hurts so much… I took a little C but I regretted it oh yeah. Stopped drinking at 6 PM. Was completely exhausted at 8 but didn’t manage to sleep till 1 am, so exhausted, and the day after at work was just horrible… I destroy myself too much…
I think I’ll adopt the “don’t even think about women” and go back to my old “never make the first move and focus on something else” lol
This will most likely prevent me some destructive behaviour
Anyway, I managed after all to eat a sandwich and drink a shake, but I’m really not hungry. This might come in handy with the dieting
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Ultimately this’ll be your decision, but I feel obligated to point out that this is not a solution as you’re robbing yourself of every opportunity to react differently to this kind of situation.
This is metaphorically akin to if you, whenever you cleaned a barbell, hurt your clavicles decided that you are never going to clean again and only find the front rack position by lifting the bar out of a rack because that doesn’t hurt.
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Yes… and you’re right. But there comes a point when you get tired of being hit on your clavicles and you switch to seated or rack press lol…
Truth be told, I might be saying to myself I won’t do shit, but we’ll see in a few weeks when I feel better and I see a really hot or cool girl and my testosterone or feelings will start taking control ahahah
The good thing though is that girls rarely make the first move nowadays, and if I don’t either I’ll be limited in my potential hurtful interactions
I’m not saying intentionally isolating yourself is necessarily the best strategy. But you know, a lot of people say that the best things in life arrive when you’re not looking for them. Cliché, yes, but I think there is some truth to that.
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That is very much my experience as well - the sure-fire way of not finding a girlfriend is to be actively looking for one. It is only when you relax, forget about it and have your mind on other things, that something happens - and often from an unexpected side.
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You’re putting way too much pressure on yourself for some kind of perfect kismet moment.
You know that if you make such a big deal about a lift that you’ll mentally fail before you even attempt to try it, and it’s the same with relationships…or anything really.
If I can offer and advice it’s to just chill the fuck out, don’t worry about what you DON’T have and learn to be super grateful for what you do have. You’d be surprised what’s drawn to you when you do that.
For what it’s worth, I met my wife talking shit to each other at a yiros stand outside of a night club. We talked shit at each other, shared a yiros and six years later we’re happily married. Coolest woman I’ve ever met.
Before that I’d certainly ‘looked’ for the ideal partner but that inevitably leads you to not really be yourself and will always get it wrong.
Just let the universe do it’s thing brother
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Yes there is some truth to that, to an extent. I have 3 close friends who have been single for 10 years. No I’m not exagerating. Granted, they are geeks who don’t go out much or take that much care of themselves but still… One says he doesn’t want a GF and has been saying this for like 5 years lol
Well that’s the problem, I’m emotional with lifts or performance. At around 90% of 1 RM (or even a 2K row when my mate cheer me up) my HR will go up, palm sweat, cold sensation in my chest… I’m stressed, I want to do good.
That’s why I really enjoy training with a partner right now as it deshinib me more and more and make me having more and more confidence and putting less pressure on myself and failings
Well yiros is my favourite food in the whole world so, no wonder, you’re both tasteful persons.
Yeah… But you know I wasn’t really trying. My mates wouldn’t understand why, or why I wans’t on Tinder etc.
In my mind my excuse was that I had no time nor money with working 7 days out of 7 etc. But it’s just an excuse, most likely I was still afraid of letting my guard down or bitter from my ex.
But you know… When I saw her I was lovestruck, that’s all. So it happens for real.
I tried being myself as much as I can. Really I’m tired of games and playing with people. Perhaps yeah I was too nice or present or giving to her. But I like making people happy, I liked talking to her more than anything in my day, and that’s most likely the problem you’ll tell me.
Anyway I thank you guys. Talking, about anything, help relieve my mind. Apart from my misadventures with girls, I’ve been happier or at peace with myself and where I’m going. And it shows, for everyone I know tell me.
I letting myself a few days of easiness. Finish the program this week, then a deload week, then we both start Colossus. I’m planning on adding 20 mins of easy cardio every morning + walks + 1 real cardio session a week + strictish dieting.
I’ll do as you said and try to go to a true 8-10%. Honestly I feel good, and I look like I packed more muscle. Well I know I have.
I think this is like the pheonix theory article Shugart wrote in here. Usually bad events lead us to more resolve and coming back stronger. I know that’s what happened with my surgeries. I never got as lean before as after my hardest breakup (my avatar pic). Let’s see how good I get this time 
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23/03 - Max effort lower
A. Deadlift 1 x 180, 3 x 160 kgs
B. Machine Squat 3 x 12 with 100 kgs
C. Machine Good Morning 3 x 12 with 100 kgs
D. Leg extension 3 x 10 with 90 kgs
It was a shitty day. I felt very lonely. I have to get used back to not receiving a message when I wake up and talking with someone all day long.
Very tired, mentally and physically, was a bit dizzy around noon.
The session was just terrible… I wanted to try 205 but nope. I failed 190. Then just no energy, no motivation, nothing. Gonna do a hard deload and no chest work for 2 weeks for it still got a little hit from yesterday.
Also looks like I’m not going back to class next week. And we don’t know when it will resume…
But I can still be happy that I made progress considering the injury, the emotional stress I was already experiencing for weeks and all.
The partner (designer the plan for both of us since we have similar stature, lifts, weaknesses etc) said he never had gained like that in his all life and was ecstatic. Bench from 115 to 125, squat from 145 to 160 and deadlift from 190 to 200.
I’m happy that I was able to come up with good progralming as well as coaching him on his technique, giving cues, telling him when to push harder or less. Still I learned from these 6 weeks and I’ll make adjustments in the future.
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Dreamed about her this night and again insomnia at 5 AM. This is very annoying as being so tired just add to my apathy and depression. Deleted all the pictures she send me or I sent her these last 6 months and it just crushed my soul.
Going for a walk. I decided I would go walk everyday for it burns calories and the fresh air helps with morale.
I installed Myfitnesspal and decided tracking my calories for a week. Even if it’s not super accurate I mostly eat the same shit so I should have an idea for the next phase. But my scale is broken.
Decided on a little shoot with my partner at the gym for the 1st of June.
Gonna try and write more articles. They were very well received by the few coaches and sport enthusiast I send them.
Gonna write 3 programs. The one I just did, revamped, then a fat-loss oriented one, and an hypertrophy one.
There, I have some goals. I need precise goals right now otherwise my mind will just wander during the day towards her, my sadness and loneliness as it does during the night and my dreams. 
I’ll try and run this afternoon but I’m so tired.
I think I’ll stop writing in here during my deload, until I start the new program in 10 days, so that I’m not tempted to write and spend more time to keep rehearsing my pain. The inconvenient of being on holydays for 3 weeks starting now is that I have nothing to busy my mind, unless I act and move my ass.
Do you ramp up to your top set by feel or have more structure to it?
Machine Good Morning == Smith machine?
While the numbers are different I’ve had the same experiences in the gym when dealing with inner turmoil. All the stress screams “you’re strong!” and then reality and gravity align to deny that expression of strength.
I’d be careful about tracking calories when under duress.
And, I don’t think you have to stop writing necessarily but there is a therapeutic difference between establishing why you are sad,,, or better yet, logging why you are sad doesn’t really do any positive difference but analysing it can. At least for me. Trying to understand what drives me to feel or respond in a way mitigates the intensity of the emotion.
I was just ramping up to a single. But I knew that no sleep for two days + skipping some meals + alcohol, well I wasn’t gonna perform. I was so tired. Also the max on squats on friday didn’t help.
No it’s a machine for the lower back. I had never seen it before. Wanted to give it a spin for a couple of weeks, but I just prefer free weights or extensions for this bodypart a thousand times.
It’s just to have an idea of what I eat at maintenance. I’m not planing on dieting down for the duraiton of my deload. But I probably eat a bit less since I’m not really hungry and my desire to “do good”, “work harder” and “look good” has been increased by a lot right now.
I agree with you but pfff. There are some things you can’t control and you have to let the time do its work. Like I have trouble sleeping, I dream about her, then I wake up at 5-6 AM and can’t sleep despite being tired. And I’m tired all day long. I can’t really control my sleep now can I? My nights used to be great. Or perhaps I can, I’ll try some ZMA
I have to get rid of some habits. Like I got addicted to my phone and Instagram. I was constantly checking it to see if she had messaged me, replied, or checking her story, or posting stories that 80% of the time, were for her.
I have to replace that with healthy habits. But it’s hard to find the motivation to work extra on your own free time when you’re tired and depressed.
Also I don’t like feeling lonely like this. I know that we don’t need anybody to live, but it’s just… less enjoyable. I know I’m doing this work for my future and myself but it doesn’t feel the same alone. I miss sharing
I know I’ll most likely feel better after a little run
Or buy habits,
A kitchensafe.
I’ll reply to the rest later. Going to hit the iron to deal with my own stuff 
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The Hell is this rofl? For people that can’t stop themselves from eating? I don’t have this problem right now fortunately. I just bought a kitchen scale actually
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You could put your phone in for parts of the day
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You can put your phone in it
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