Well guys to speak the truth I have no idea how to describe what went through my head at that time.
I had a history of fucking up everything I did in the past and I guess when I started lifting I didn’t took shit seriously enough, before I even posted on T-Nation, I’d go to the gym, do a few curls and pushdowns, maybe some bench press, or I would do some fail routine my old gymnastics coach would tell me to do ( the reason I picked up weights in the first place was because I injured myself badly and could not continue to train gymnastics, or wrestling).
Eventually my injuries healed up enough to allow me to move normally, so I decided to do my own shit in the gym. Eventually I found T-Nation and after some lurking I created the log.
At some point I knew things weren’t going to be easy, and I would get nowhere if I kept copying an advanced dude like Alpha. So I started looking into a lot of training books and articles, 5/3/1, Westside, even SS. The problem with all of those was that I had recently moved to Brazil from LA and the gym scene over here was/IS pretty lame, and I couldn’t do a decent PL routine without messing a lot with it. Coupled with other factors like being alone and having no friends over here, I almost went into depression.
Then out of the blue something snapped, I simply decided that there would be no more excuses and I would lift until I had shaped myself into something I liked. Cliche I know, but that’s what happened.
That was it. From there everytime I went to the gym I was convinced I HAD to make progress, I HAD to do more reps or move more weight. People on the internet kept telling me to eat, so I said “Fuck it all”, and used most of the money my parents were sending me to buy food and lots of cheap whey protein. I would eat enormous amounts of food and lift, 2-3 hours a day. My daily routine consisted simply of getting up, going to work in the lame job my father had set up for me, going to the gym and back home, up until I got into med school.
If I failed to lift enough on said day, it would completely ruin my day. Back then I was doing stupid training, skipping lifts/bodyparts I sucked at and sticking to stuff I was good at ( squats and back work ). Eventually I ended up messing around with Pro hormones not knowing what they were and ended up moving to a few stronger “supplements”. This is something I regret deeply, since I jumped on this train too soon. I’ve decided to stay off for as long as I can, which made me lose a lot of size, but this is probably the wisest thing I ever did.
I still have some nasty injuries plus a few new ones I got along the way that I SHOULDN’T have, considering my age. But that’s it, I ended up writing more than I had to but glad I did it anyway.
