Dear T-Nation

I was inspired to write this letter by the “Who Here Really Trains?” thread.


Dearest Testosterone,

What can I say, you've been a good companion to me over the last...what has it been...almost a decade?  Time flies when the going is good.  In all actuality things haven't been that great.  It just hasn't been the same since Ian King quit writing about squats and stuff.  

I just wanted to write you this letter because I have been going through some changes lately.  Well, actually its been quite some time; almost 2 years to be exact.  T-Nation was the only website I visited with any regularity from 1999 until recently. I am sorry for cheating on you T-Nation but I have grown new tastes in the past few years.  My life has become more complicated and doesn't just revolve around picking up heavy stuff anymore.  Not to mention, you popularizing the hard-core lifestyle makes me feel irrelevant in the gym now that everyone seems to know about the crazy, effective methods spoken about on this site.  

We used to be exclusive, T-Nation, but it seems you've been spreading your charms over the internet and have been affecting others in the same positive manner that you did me.  I don't know if I can handle that kind of relationship any longer.  I like being the only one who knew about such wonders as GVT, etc.

It isn't just that...  Sadly, I have found myself only lifting 2-3 times a week in recent months...if even that much.  When I go to the gym it's like I don't even want to be big anymore.  I find myself asking, what is it worth?  I used to take supplements to help me but I must admit if I drink one more protein shake I am going to reject a kidney.  Do I really need to eat 4000 kcal a day just to keep up my performance just to not be able to touch my own ass?  

The truth is I hate eating "clean".  I just want to go to Micky D's and get a Bic Mac and "Supersize It" but it seems the Golden Arches decided I'm not allowed that anymore due to the American Fat-ass' inability to control himself.  Do I have you to thank for that, too?  I don't know anymore.

I want you to know I will always be faithful to you but I can't live your lifestyle anymore.  Sorry for having to tell you this in a thread but I didn't have the balls to tell you to your face.  

In iron,
~lift

You will be back. Maybe not to T-Nation, but to the weights. You will get flabby and scrawny and flaccid. Then one day, you will see some pics of yourself from when you were jacked. You will look at yourself, then back at the picture and you will start up again. It happens.

I took a few years off not all that long ago. I got sick and tired of not having any muscle. Then one day, I was wandering in my basement and decided to just mess around with the old iron. Next, I found all of my old workout sheets and got to thinking about the good old days. Before you know it, I was back in there 6:00 am Monday morning, with a workout plan and some determination. Not too much later, I found T-Nation and I started to develop some more concrete goals and found new ways to achieve them.

I don’t ever want to go back to the skinny, scrawny DB.

Good Luck and Don’t stay away too long,
DB

Embrace the future.

Long live T-Nation!!!

[quote]Molotov_Coktease wrote:
Embrace the future.

[/quote]

Wow! Thank you for that. If that isn’t motivation, nothing is.

[quote]Molotov_Coktease wrote:
Embrace the future.

[/quote]

What the fuck was that?

[quote]analog_kid wrote:
Molotov_Coktease wrote:
Embrace the future.

What the fuck was that?[/quote]

Even better question, why did I watch all nine of them?

[quote]LIFTICVSMAXIMVS wrote:

Even better question, why did I watch all nine of them?[/quote]

lol, that’s sad.

[quote]LIFTICVSMAXIMVS wrote:
analog_kid wrote:
Molotov_Coktease wrote:
Embrace the future.

What the fuck was that?

Even better question, why did I watch all nine of them?[/quote]

That’s what people do when they don’t workout, pretty lame.

[quote]streamline wrote:
Even better question, why did I watch all nine of them?

That’s what people do when they don’t workout, pretty lame.[/quote]

I thought that could just be attributed to surfing the web and thinking up smart-ass comments to rhetorical questions…?

[quote]LIFTICVSMAXIMVS wrote:
streamline wrote:
Even better question, why did I watch all nine of them?

That’s what people do when they don’t workout, pretty lame.

I thought that could just be attributed to surfing the web and thinking up smart-ass comments to rhetorical questions…?[/quote]

You got it in one lift. I watched all 9 as well…and couldn’t help the random insert.

Carl’s jr…Fuck you, I’m eating.

Welcome to Costco…I love you.

Mike Judge is a regular modern day Nostradamus.

I’ve got a craving for an EXTRA BIG ASSED TACO now with MORE MOLECULES.

[quote]Molotov_Coktease wrote:
Mike Judge is a regular modern day Nostradamus.
[/quote]
I wish I didn’t believe that.

[quote]streamline wrote:
LIFTICVSMAXIMVS wrote:
analog_kid wrote:
Molotov_Coktease wrote:
Embrace the future.

What the fuck was that?

Even better question, why did I watch all nine of them?

That’s what people do when they don’t workout, pretty lame.[/quote]

When people don’t workout they are transported to the future and are given the name “Sure, Not” by some tattooing blood pressure checking machine? Holy shit, I’m going to go do some sets right now.

[quote]analog_kid wrote:
streamline wrote:
LIFTICVSMAXIMVS wrote:
analog_kid wrote:
Molotov_Coktease wrote:
Embrace the future.

What the fuck was that?

Even better question, why did I watch all nine of them?

That’s what people do when they don’t workout, pretty lame.

When people don’t workout they are transported to the future and are given the name “Sure, Not” by some tattooing blood pressure checking machine? Holy shit, I’m going to go do some sets right now.

[/quote]

Yes it’s true!. …and even with such linear thought, you might just end up the smartest men on the planet, where people water the plants with gatorade. You must stop them analog kid and mullet matador streamline…use your amazing powers of observation and mighty combative shields that prevent you from realizing when people are taking the piss.

Nothing wrong with taking some time off now and then. I do it at least twice a year for a few weeks each time.