It was! She has this thing where she eats stuff off the ground during walks. We can’t pull her away fast enough and she ends up swallowing it.
Usually what she sneak-eats off the ground is harmless, but every once in a while it’s not. 
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My dog did that with a frog once. Or toad. Not sure.
Took about 5 minutes for her to just blast it right back out (her mouth). Fortunately we were outside.
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Big Trees and Insecurities
Hello there, handsome tree.
I shared one of my deepest insecurities with someone yesterday. In the moment it felt natural and comfortable but then later, I had this sudden “I can’t believe that happened uh oh crap” feeling.
So anyway, this ficus lyrata went from knee-height to around 7 feet tall and I’m obsessed.
I’ve been complaining about plant fails on here lately (ficus benjamina, monstera) but my house is full of healthy ones that I don’t talk about as much.
So back to those insecurities. Most are just annoying like cellulite or wrinkles, but one or two are what I usually keep just between me and the husband. Sometimes they cause loneliness and the feeling of constant judgment.
Chris and I have a term for that. We call it “the scar effect.”
It’s a reference to a study that was done on people who were given a fake scar on their faces by a makeup artist, and then the researchers sent them out into the world for job interviews. And all the participants felt like everyone was judging them because of the scar. But then it was revealed that the makeup artists had actually removed the ugly scar makeup right before they went out. (Something like that.)
So what they thought they were being judged for was all in their heads.
And I get that. It’s absolutely possible to trick yourself into thinking everyone is judging you for something specific.
But sometimes little things add up. Tiny situations that act like reminders that you are different. And while it’s not the responsibility of others to coddle you and nobody’s trying to be cruel – it feels like someone pressing on a bruise that’s already there. They didn’t cause it but they can touch the sore spot.
And if that happens too often, my knee jerk response is withdrawal. I’m not saying that’s the right thing to do. It’s just how it is when I’m not feeling great about myself.
So, about the smaller more frivolous insecurities: one thing that helps (me) is a shit-ton of makeup and a short ruffled skirt. 
And plants. The more the better most of the time.
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Oh those are incredibly poisonous! It’s a miracle she lived!
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We have one of those plants but it is no where near that big or beautiful. Lots of love went into that for sure. Do you talk to that plant more than any others pretty sure talking to plants helps them thrive. 
(either that or I am just a nutter).
I can totally understand this comment and sympathize with you. I would add that in my case it is often just me that keeps pressing the same bruise as I over think through the same issue or insecurity in my head over and over. Quiet time is not always a good place for me so keeping moving or doing something helps lessen the time I have to re-think.
Anyway just wanted to say you are not alone and of course we all think you are awesome.
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Occasionally yes! My dogs get super jealous about it. They’ll run into the room and stand between me and the plant. I haven’t named it, which is a thing people do. Hilton Carter has a name for all of his ficus trees.
Have you ever heard of him? I have a couple Hilton Carter coffee table books and they’re pure eye candy. His house is the ultimate in biophilic design.
Thank you!
Most of the time I’m good. I can hear something and it’s like water off a duck’s back, no big deal. But if I’m already feeling insecure, then my brain looks for evidence to support the idea that I’m a disappointment.
This thing popped up in my Twitter feed the other day.
This is so damn true and relatable. You’re wise for avoiding the rumination trap. The more we think about our problems or shortcomings the more we get mentally stuck in them. But sometimes it’s hard to break free because self pity is an indulgence that feels good.
You are such a great friend. Thank you for the thoughtful comment.
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Today’s Workout
Box Jump
Hip Thrust
Cable Row
Bent Over DB Lateral Raise
Seated Chest Press
Leg Press
A guy caught me looking at Twitter between sets of chest press. We had a good laugh but he did tell me to get back to work. Fair. I enjoy light hearted discipline from other people.
Important Stuff
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I 
gratitude lists for this. It goes hand in hand with developing a positive confirmation bias.
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That is a great point. I kept a journal for a while and included some of that but fell off the wagon. Thanks for the reminder; I’ll have to get back into it. 
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I did them like push ups for a long time. Just bang it out, no matter how I felt or how much I didn’t want to.
Now its more of a remedy for when I catch myself feeling ugly, stupid, inept, or otherwise not very good.
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Are we the same person?
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I’m sure there are some differences.
But if anybody else spoke to me the same way I do…
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I’m open web. Doesn’t bother me if spiders get married.
But I hear it doesn’t always end well for the grooms. Good source of protein though. Food for thought.
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For anyone in my log right now, you have to see this. I’m never arm wrestling again.
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I just feel like the government shouldn’t be involved.
Yeah it’s brutal out there for guy spiders. And sure, they have 8 legs but they should consider arming themselves.
It looks so innocuous though!
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I think that’s the problem. It seems harmless but if your arm is anchored at the wrong angle or in the wrong position it’s super risky.
Technique might not even matter though. Maybe she simply didn’t have enough bicep muscle to hold that bone intact with that amount of resistance.
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Another place where resistance training makes a difference! Bone density!
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Oh yeah! I forget about resistance training increasing bone density.
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I don’t know Hilton maybe my wife does, she is must more knowledgeable when it comes to all matters of plants and having a nice house. My only pre requisite for the house was it must have a double garage (and now that’s too small) .
Thanks for the meme about peaches, I now have an ear worm and will be singing The Presidents song all day.
Just worth mentioning though that in the recent Mario Bros film there is a song about peaches sung by Jack Black that my kids love. In this case Peaches is a Princess and not a juicy fruit.
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