Dani's Rebel Log

You have no idea how real of a possibility that is. My best friend lives in Boulder and we’ve been talking about a crazy adventure this summer!

If you do ever want to chat - just shoot me an email at amyk.rd at gmail dot com. And be forewarned - I am HILARIOUS. lol

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Dude, I’m game as long as you promise to laugh at my jokes. Lol. Shoot me an email (amyk.rd at gmail dot com) and be prepared to be both educated and entertained. lol

This is true some of the time too. My mom is the same way. I’m not saying that the sabotaging is a universal goal for every food-pusher, but there are times when it is that case. Regardless of the intention, you’re the one in control of making the choice.

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I often have coworkers that bring in donuts and sweets. If someone gets pushy trying to get me to eat one…
“Thank you for the offer, really, but I’m struggling to keep myself on track as-is, and this would throw me off.”

I use a lot less words because I’m not that nice.
But you are being mostly honest and not hurting their feelings. In your situation, you could also be connecting with them in a meaningful way because they now see you have the same struggle as they do.

Bucket of crabs.

I think I’ve plugged it before, but When I Say No, I Feel Guilty really is helpful here. One of the tools “broken record” would help a lot.
“No thanks, I’m good.”
“But you should…”
“No, really, I’m good.”

What are they gonna do, offer again?

And after reading further, I noticed QQ saying the same stuff, but more eloquently :smile:

:100:

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Cringe, stare at the enforcer with big wide eyes, and then hiss like a pregnant cat.

For extra effect, hold Tupperware of healthy food out in front of you and pull it back close to your body as you cringe.

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Okay this is awesome to hear. Keep me posted when you girls have dates! I will for sure shoot you an email so we can stay in touch!

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Fine then…

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You sure about that?

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Okay this is one thing I love about masculinity. It’s not that you’re even trying to be mean or nice, it’s just that you’re direct. I’m somewhat jealous of how easy this is for my husband. He just says, “no” and that’s it. It’s amazing that you guys can do this and not have any guilt or mind-drama about it.

For some reason when females say “no” not only do they feel bitchy, but it can come off as bitchy. But that’s exactly the problem: it shouldn’t and who cares if it does?

I need to not care so much about how it comes off, and just allow people to think whatever they want. Their opinions aren’t my responsibility, as you taught me a while back.

Incidentally, the confidence coach I reference here so often has entire affirmations involving that idea: “I’m not responsible for the thoughts and opinions of other people.”

I’ve made so much headway with that mindset this year, but now I just need to get the reps in when it comes to food and social pressure.

I’ve considered this too. Sometimes it seems like they’re trying to be mothering, but other times it seems like they want a “partner in crime” so that they don’t make bad choices alone. It’s that second one that seems crabby.

That’s a really good one!

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What a fun strategy!

And hey, I’m so glad to see you here! How’s life? Everything good?

Maybe another strategy is to say “No, thanks!” then distract and divert.

For example, “No, thanks! Hey, I just read that 14% of people can orgasm from tickling alone. Weird, huh?”

Okay, maybe not that, but change the subject somehow.

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There’s also probably a cultural element. Americans, in general, tend to emphasise “niceness” (so do many Asian cultures) and feel that directness = rudeness. It’s really hard for me to tell whether they’re being genuine or trying to be polite

In Europe, people are much more direct and I find that much better, especially as someone on the spectrum

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Or, what if, after repeatedly saying no, you accept their slice of adult birthday cake with limp wrists and let it fall to the ground?

Then say, “Oops. What a shame.”

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Great point, and I didn’t know that. I assumed certain Europeans were more concerned with politeness/niceness than Americans.

That would definitely be refreshing.

I will! And something to think about - would you be down to climb/hike a 14er with us or do the Skyline Traverse in Boulder? I’m guessing we’re going to do something on one or both of those paths. It’ll be “fun” - I promise! lol

Perfect! :slight_smile:

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I will give that some thought depending on how my recovery is doing at the time and whether or not I’m injury free in the lower body. That sounds like a blast! I’m just remembering last July when tripped and strained a hamstring while walking the dogs. LOL that messed me up for half the year, so I have to be cautious before making any decisions.

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I totally get that! The invite is going to be open and I’ll keep you posted on the plan over in email!

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certain ones are, but at least in a lot of western, Northern and Eastern Europe, people (in general) will tell you what they think.

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This made me think of other sneaky tricks.

1.) The classic, plant a hair or something gross and show it to them, now the whole batch is suspect.

2.) Take one bite, spit it out and start coughing loudly. Claim ignorance of what caused it, but ask for water. This only works if you want to be the drama.

3.) Read the ingredient list and claim you can’t eat red dye #19, or something else random. Also would work for cake icing.

4.) Say you’re on a course of some medication, like antibiotics, that the food would interact with.

5.) If you’re at someone’s house, offer to do the dishes or take out the trash, and use that to make your escape at the needed time

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:man_shrugging:t2: huh?!?

:rofl: Putting the word adult in front of anything makes me giggle, cuz intellectually I’m a 9 year old.

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Those are all really good and pretty funny too.

The allergy one actually rings true right now since I’ve been having a sensitivity to eggs. Not sure if it’s a problem as much anymore because I’m afraid to test it out.

But I think my frustration originates from the idea that we have to jump through hoops to begin with. It’s happened to me with alcohol too, and I think that’s why I keep certain friends at arms distance. I like my liver and sleep too much.

You guys have been so amazing with providing ideas and brainstorming with me on this topic!

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