At least they’re not blank Chex.
An odd choice for salad, but probably healthier than Count Chocula or Cap’n Crunch.
Are those Franken Berries?
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If your salad does not contain beef jerky, is it even a salad?
(Having thought this, there are a surprising number of hits for “beef jerky salad”, some of which sound pretty good…)
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Chex are probably tastier than croutons.
But they don’t make salads like they did in the 50s. Is there anything that Jello can’t do?
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The one with the olives is unsettling. Lol.
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OTOH, perhaps the original recipe also contains “martinis”? Quite the time saver, for the busy advertising executive.
I blame Big Cake Pan for that whole era of atrocity. None of that needed to happen.
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Berries? That’s pushiin it, Franken or not. We just better be thankful there was lettuce 
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This^
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You’re giving me Christian Bale/Henry Rollins vibes.
My three looks would be tropical viking, culinary goth, or my personal favorite (which some one actually said to me), “the best friend of the bad guy in an 80s teen movie.”
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It could be worse. It could be yum yum salad.
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It tastes like a pathogen!!
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Or Tuna jello salad
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Oh shit. You are killing me!
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I’m having a hard time picturing this.
That’s the end goal.
But I’m still in my early forties, so more like this. Credit to Chris from a real photo of me.
Although I asked chat to make a picture of me based on available info, and it came up with this.
So, I’m not sure who I am anymore.
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Based on the second picture, you are well on your way to the first. Strong work.
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People have been telling me this since 9th grade. I was expelled from one school and signed up for the next one in the district my grandmother lived in.
In that school there was a bunch of punk (like 1986-87) kids that were into Black Flag, The Misfits, all that stuff- and they swore, up and down that I was Rollins brother or something.
I prank posted this on facebook as Battle Of The Bands, 1988…
And got a few “oh yeah! Is that Matt playing the bass?”.
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I love Henry Rollins. Funny dude.
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There’s a guy that is a couple years older than me growing up named Lew Knopp, a former Seal, but active at the time. Kinda my heroish and some part the impetus for me signing up and wanting to go to BUDS.
Anyways, this Tropical Viking you looks a hell of a lot like him.
. Very interesting…
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My wife does too.
She played this video about a gazillion times the first couple years we were dating.