I was going to let this one die…until I saw SteelyEye’s post. I swear this is a true story. Last week I was squatting and a little heartbreaker came into the gym and snagged the rack next to me. She was about 5’4”, 125 pounds, and wearing a pink sports bra and tight pants. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail. I fully expected her to start doing curls, but instead she loads the bar with 45’s, racks it, and proceeds to do 6 reps of ass-to-grass squats with perfect form and a s-l-o-w tempo. Needless to say, you could bounce a quarter off her ass and her hammies were heavenly. When she finished her squats, she started up a set of straight-leg deads. That girl is going to make some guy very lucky someday.
A dude showing off by performing one armed pullups, gripping the bar with only 2 fingers, and had 90lbs. on a weight belt. Dear Lawd.
Thank you for responding, obviously mine was made up an I actually remembered it form MM2K. Just trying to lighten the boards up a little. Some of the shit you guys wrote, both real and fake, were a pisser.
Anyway, this is a true story. in my college gym, a bunch of “little” guys always used to try to brag about how much they could lift and all that, and from the little bit I used to see of them they looked like they could lift a lot. One day when I was on a stairmaster I actually watched one of the full workouts and I watched them work themselves up to about 315 on the bench, then I watched them go to the john and come back and take it off, it turns out that that was all they did to further the myth of their strength.
this one is a true story, and a warning for all those idiots who like to squat outside of the powerrack, thus negating the whole frickin purpose of the power rack.
Guy’s going for about a 400 lb squat outside of the rack. Asks a stranger to spot him. Guy gets 7 ass to the ground perfect reps. On the eigth, he goes down and can’t get out of the hole. His spotter gets behind and underneath him, puts his arms under the guy’s pits to spot him up, and, as the guy’s struggling to get out of the hole, the bar roles off of his back, and onto his spotter’s forearms/wrists, pinning the spotter’s arms to his thighs. By the time the spotter got out from under the bar, his wrists were black and blue and they were starting to swell. A gym attendent immediately took the guy to the hospital. I never saw the poter again at the gym (probably took several months to heal), but the next day the gym had a sign up saying anyone found squating outside of the rack would get their membership revoked.
This actually happened to me. My workout partner and I were doing some calv raises on a Nautilus machine. Whatever the weight goes up to on that thing, it isn’t enough, so while he’s diong his set, I stand on the rack, and vice versa. (our gym has old equipment, but cheap membership) Anyway, halfway into his set my fly gets caught in the chain an chewed up in the chain wheel. As I struggled atop the stack of wieghts, the only gay guy to ever come into our gym runs over,jokingly, offering help. I, being a heterosexual individual, screamed and made a huge scene. My workout partner was laughing soo hard that he almost had a freakin heart attack.
We had a guy stabbed in our gym by an ex girlfriend while he was doing decline bench presses. I didnt see it but it was all over the newspapers and people i know saw it. His intestines were apparently hanging out.
I’ve got two and unfortunately they happened to me…First: I was doing side raises with about 35lb db’s. I usually let the db’s touch in front of me. Well on my last rep, I kinda let the weights swing together pretty hard rather than controlled. I gotta tell you, I couldn’t do it again if I tried, but I crushed the head of my dick between the two db’s. It looked like a purple golfball on the head of my…I can’t even talk about it anymore. Thank god my brother was there to carry me out and drive to the emergency room.
Second: I was doing decline with 225 on the bar and a friend of mine was spotting me. Well it was all good until rep number 5 when I failed out of nowhere and my friend couldn’t lift the bar up off my chest. By the time two other guys got over to help, the bar was resting on my throat and I was fighting with all my might to keep it from choking me.
LESSON:One arm side raises only, do not wear boxers when training, do not go to failure on decline.
I love doing weighted chins but have had 2 bad experiences.
- My scrotum got caught in the chain that holds the weights. FUCK it hurt I was nearly in tears. I have no idea how it happened but holly shit, it hurt.
- Some how my drwstring broke during a set of chins and my shorts fell down to my ankles.
One time I slipped at the gym and my dick fell into a girl doing dumbell kickbacks. Boy was my face red.
i saw about 5 cops bust into the gym, looking for some dude who had steroids. that was a trip !
This actually happened in the lockeroom at a Nautilus gym. One day, I go into the lockeroom before working out to take a piss. Some dude was in there prancing around naked. He would do back and forth fromm the steam sauna to the shower, and back to the steam sauna, so forth. Well, I thought, “cool… I bet that feels good after a workout. I’ll have to try it then.” So I go and workout. This was back when I was a newbie who trained like Arnold said–no less than 2 hours. After my workout, I went tanning for 30 minutes. Then, looking forward to going back into the lockeroom and taking a steam, I go in to find the same dude prancing around. I think, “what the hell? He must really like that sauna.” So I go to take a steam. About ten minutes pass and, as I’m leaving for the shower, he heads into the sauna. No less than a minute after I’m in the shower, I get the feeling that somebody’s watching me. I turn around and find that dude soaping his erect penis, staring at me. I ran out of the shower, put on my clothes, storm out of the lockeroom and tell management what happened. While I’m complaining the dude from the lockeroom walks into the office, only he’s wearing a Nautilus shirt. As it turned out, he was the owner of the gym.
that Nautilus gym owner dood is a nuisance! haha
Saw a guy with a trained doing calf raises in a squat rack. The guy was standing on a wooden box about 6" tall and maybe 2 feet wide with only is toes to allow the calf to extend. As he’s preparing to drop down his overall weight tips the box up as his feet obviously slip off the box to the floor while simulteanously the box tilts up to full height on its side and the weight (on the guy’s shoulders) pins his forehead to the box as hes bent over at the waist. I cried! He was OK (glasses smashed and big red nose) but never came in again!
My friend used to work as a janitor at a Healthclub, so one day hes cleaning the floor and as per usual, naked men are walking to and from the showers. One guy was walking and another naked one right behind him. the guy in front dropped his razor and bent down to pick it up, but the guy behind him wasn’t paying attention and accidently ran into him. They both lost it and started screaming at each other and a fight almost broke out. Well ends up that the guy in front cancelled his membership that day.
The craziest thing I ever saw was this huge Samoan guy came in one day, loaded 405 on the squat rack. Came out of the squat rack like he was going to squat the weight and proceeded to press the weight behind the neck style for four reps. Incredible. The whole gym stopped what they where doing and clapped. The next time he came in he loaded 495 on the bench did eight reps and held the eight rep on his chest for 3 seconds and pressed it up. Didn’t look like a juicer either.
Ok, so I was in the gym this morning, and I looked over to the cable station, and there’s this guy kneeling in front of it. He’s sort of bowing to the floor while holding a cable, to get an ab workout. The funny thing was, the guy had a mowhawk and a big nose, so he looked like a rooster pecking at food! Of course, this guy is skinny as a rail, and all he does (everyday) is leg-raises and shit like that. After his little homage to the cable station, I saw him lying down with his feet about an inch off the mat, taking a weight and moving it from side to side with his arms. He wasn’t even twisting. Chicken-looking fool.