Could Anything Drive You to Suicide?

Off Topic
41

If my career goal was the extent of my losses, I’d be fine. That’s really the least of my grievances.

I value my health more than anything- if you don’t have that, you have nothing. If I had a choice between Bill Gates’ fortune and regaining the health of my joints, I wouldn’t even have to think about it- gimme my cartilage back.

I’m living like a 70 year old at 23. I ask you, if this shit is happening to me at 23, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME AT 40??? I’m scared to death, frankly. I’m just fucking scared to death

42

Huslin,

I think in your depression your are discounting the possibility of research and advancement in treatment. No, it won’t be cured tomorrow, but advances are coming down the pipeline all the time.

Are you willing to talk about your treatment and supplementation regimen currently?

43

First of all, don’t kill yourself. There is absolutely nothing in life that justifies suicide. I’ve gone through (and still deal with) depression. At its worst, I certainly thought about suicide. Fortunately I realized that it would be a mistake.

Yes, you got a really bad deal. Nobody is going to argue with you there. Despite that, I KNOW there are still things in life that you can devote yourself to that will bring you joy and could potentially make the world a better place for others. Shit, even if you find something that is just for your enjoyment, do it and enjoy the hell out of it.

Focus on the good things in life such as friends, family, sex (yeah, I said it), good food, video games, football in HD, Rescue Me, Tool songs, etc… I could go on, but you get the point.

It is cliche, but your outlook dictates your happiness, not the circumstances of your life. Bad things (of various significance) happen to everyone. How your deal with them determines your happiness.

God bless you and hang in there.

44

[quote]huslinbriks wrote:
In short, my life will have been ruined long before they find a viable solution for OA. That’s not pessimism. Anyone who holds out for science to cure or even help their osteoarthritis is just comforting themselves with wishful thinking.

I value my health more than anything- if you don’t have that, you have nothing.

I’m living like a 70 year old at 23. I ask you, if this shit is happening to me at 23, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME AT 40??? I’m scared to death, frankly. I’m just fucking scared to death[/quote]

I quoted these statements of yours hoping you can see that right now, you are NOT thinking logically.

Your life will be RUINED long before they find a solution?

Holding out for science to HELP is wishful thinking?

If you don’t have your health you have NOTHING?

“I’m scared to death, frankly. I’m just fucking scared to death”

Yeah, you sure are. And thats why you’re not thinking straight. First of all your life being ruined is your OPINION, not a FACT. Ruined means totally destroyed. You still have your MIND, and the ability to express it, you can still think and learn and create. You can still feel and smile and laugh. See, hear, speak, etc. There are so many things you will still be able to do. Your life will simply be changed.

It is definately NOT wishful thinking that science can HELP with OA… curing it is a different story, but helping is pretty much a guaranteed fact. There are already things than can HELP with certain areas, such as pain relief. There are a few treatments available, research being done, and probably even a few experimental procedures that you could look into. Not much help, mind you, but anything is better than nothing.

But again it’s a judgement call. And to be completly honest, if you think THIS is worth killing yourself over, at only 3 months after experiencing the effects…

“the main thing is that i’m trying to see where i stand attitute-wise comapred to others.”

… well on my kill-myself-o-meter that doesn’t rank very high. It’s pretty close to zero actually. I mean seriously man, what the fuck. DO YOU WANT TO DO ANYTHING WITH YOUR LIFE?? DO YOU HAVE AN IMAGINATION??

To me it sounds like you had your whole life all mapped out. You were planning to live a full healthy active life. And then your whole illusion of control was shattered and it scares the hell out of you. You KNOW that there are other paths available to you, but you don’t even want to try them.

By now hopefully you’ve realized that you don’t control SHIT in your life, and the sooner you accept and embrace that, the better. You never know when you will be hit by a car, or shot, slip and break your neck, or get something like OA. You need to change your views on life, and these views need to reflect reality.

We ALL die SOMETIME man. Some earlier than others. Who knows, at 40 you may have accomplished a few cool things, and then decide that your disease is too hard to handle, and end it then. But to end it early is to be a coward.

I mean holy shit man, write a book, conduct research, film a documentary, become a kickass cyborg, fucking have sex with 500 hookers while high on heroin, there are so many freaking things you can do!!! You’re being very ignorant right now.

45

[quote]vroom wrote:
Are you willing to talk about your treatment and supplementation regimen currently?[/quote]

I had a steroid injection into my big toe joint a few weeks ago; other than that I am not recieving any treatment. Anti-inflammatory drugs offer nothing more than a modest degree of pain relief, and their chronic use does a great deal of harm, so I choose to avoid them.

I have a stash of Vicodin which I recieved when my back first flared up and was killing me, but I stopped taking it because I developed a tolerance.

My only supp is fish oil (3g/day). Of course I’ve read about glucosamine and chrondroitin but I’m skeptical. Not unwilling to try it but skeptical. Additionally I understand that glucosamine increases insulin resistance, which makes it unattractive.

Right now my ‘training’ consists of walking 20-30 minutes a day continuously, and trying to spend more time on my feet. I’ve been afraid to hit the wegihts since my back pain came on a month ago.

46

Your situation is unfortunate but then again so is life. I know you’re only looking for a shoulder to cry on but sorry these people overshadow your needs to the point of non-existance.

I’d say imagine walking a mile in these childrens shoes but they are so weak and depleted they can’t even move and swat the flies off themselves let alone walk. They are too young to have even done anything bad to anybody. Tell me why they deserve this?

“I felt sorry for the man with no shoes until I met a man with no feet”

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49

Find hope in the fact that science makes breakthroughs on a daily basis in the medical field. By the time you are thirty who knows whats possible.

Find things you do enjoy that you can do, and will be able to do. Thats really all I can say.

~lazy

50

Depression is a plague upon this Earth. It ruins and drains lives and family. Lived most of my life with it. Lost a good friend to it, who had a hell of a lot more going on for him than I ever had. Buried my little brother on my birthday a few years back because of it.

Depression is really something you can’t fully understand unless you’ve had it. Have to agree with some of the above posts: seek professional help. As to meds, they are something you do under a doctor’s supervision. They CAN help even if your problem is your “situation” not your “brain chemistry.” The latter is dependent on the former after all. Find a GOOD doctor.

I suspect some of the problems lately with suicides after taking meds is the depressed person hasn’t actually made the decision to get better and the doc just slaps them on some meds and that’s it. They haven’t actually treated the person, just tried to medicate things away without taking into consideration the myriad physiopsychosocial issues involved. Seems to me what happened to my brother.

Certainly the initial euphoria/empowerment I felt when I first started meds many years ago could have given me enough “will power” or whatever to off myself if I hadn’t already realized that I really wanted to get better.

While there are exceptions to any rule, I suspect most people could be driven to the extreme of considering such a thing in the depths of depression. The enviromental stresses would have to be intensive enough for long enough is all, each person being unique in what would be enough to do it. But then again, I’m biased because it is all I know. Sort of like the guys who think there is “no such thing” as overtraining.

Sorry, I’ve lived with it so my experience dictates that there sure as hell is…

51

Many of the t-men’s advice here is great.

There’s nothing wrong with saying you need help and taking it, it may actually change your perspective tremendously. Sometimes we need someone else or elses to help show us the way.

And don’t close your heart to everything else because you’ve had some setbacks. You’re 23 years old and you have so much potential ahead of you…I know it seems bad right now, but open yourself and your heart to the endless possiblities that life has to offer and even better possibilities will come to you.

And working in the Emergency Medical Field, trust me, there are so many opportunities and demands for civilian Emergency Surgeons (or other medical specialists) that are just as demanding, rewarding and challenging as the military.

Some docs even give back to the commnity once they’ve gained experience and volunteer for medical missions in third world countries, volunteer weekends in poor neighborhood community free health clinics, serve as volunteer sports team coaches for local high school football/basketball teams, etc…

If you do chose the medical route, the career challenge oppurtunities for you would be practically endless as the demand FAR exceeds the supply of specialty services and specialty physicians, you’ll be able to pick and choose what you want to do.

52

hmm

I was thinking this was a thread about some teenager facing some mild depression.

Your situation is serious and I don’t think professional help or drugs will help you, I think right now the only thing thta can help you is yourself.

look at stephen hawking, the guy can’t even move yet he spends his days contemplating about solar systems and black holes.

There are people who are paraplegic and yet they have rich fulfilling lifes coz they found something worth devoting their lifes too.

in an era of internet, cable tv, computers and electronics I think you stand a pretty good chance of achieving something with your life.

And to answer your question, yes, several times. but ever since I was a kid I had add and a low level of serotonin and that made me have several personality disorders like ocd etc, I had never had a health problem, never been to an hospital (once with a broken angle in 24 years of living) and I can’t think of the last time I got a cold but yet I’m fuckin depressed most of the time coz for the most part I fail to see the light at the end of the tunnel so to speak.

from time to time in my life I am able to experience a perfect moment, being laying in the freshly watered grass on the summer in southern spain or watching a sunset over a beach and those are the only things that keep me alive

not drugs, not psychiatrists, not god, not jesus

just beautiful perfect moments we are given in our lifes from time to time

so yeah find something you could devote yourself too

53

I’m glad Raziel brought up paralyzed folks; I was about to say the same thing. You can’t just give up. We didn’t get to rule the planet by shutting down when the shit piles up. No matter how bad things are they can ALWAYS get worse. You just have to adapt to the situation, or learn to.

I can’t think of any reason I would kill myself. Not one. I don’t care if my whole family was killed, I know that they wouldn’t be happy with me if they looked down and I had decided to kill myself. My wife would likely want me to get myself together and try to find happiness somehow.

The people who can hold their heads up when the chips are down are what makes the human race worthy of not being exterminated. Is it easy? Helldamno. But what about life is?

54

[quote]huslinbriks wrote:
vroom wrote:
Are you willing to talk about your treatment and supplementation regimen currently?

I had a steroid injection into my big toe joint a few weeks ago; other than that I am not recieving any treatment. Anti-inflammatory drugs offer nothing more than a modest degree of pain relief, and their chronic use does a great deal of harm, so I choose to avoid them.

I have a stash of Vicodin which I recieved when my back first flared up and was killing me, but I stopped taking it because I developed a tolerance.

My only supp is fish oil (3g/day). Of course I’ve read about glucosamine and chrondroitin but I’m skeptical. Not unwilling to try it but skeptical. Additionally I understand that glucosamine increases insulin resistance, which makes it unattractive.

Right now my ‘training’ consists of walking 20-30 minutes a day continuously, and trying to spend more time on my feet. I’ve been afraid to hit the wegihts since my back pain came on a month ago.
[/quote]

H-

I take 6-8 grams of high quality fish oil per day and don’t have osteo. It helps inflamation a lot. Biotest’s product is high quality.

You have only scratched the surface of what’s out there. Please do yourself a favor and try more of them, or all of them, before you make a decision that cannot be reversed.

55

Huslinbriks,

Maybe we need you and your passion to devote yourself to helping develop the science to cure/mitigate the very problem you have.

You clearly have an interest in science - use that to go into the field trying to develop treatments/cures for osteoarthritis.

If you want a reason to live, I can think of no better. Think of the good you’d do for not only yourself, but for many others.

Doctor, heal thyself. Stick around - we need ya.

56

I’m going to echo what Hedo just said. Be skeptical all you want, but you certainly do need to look a little deeper into giving your body the ability to fight inflammation, which is a major component of the OA process.

Also, I think given the realities of the situation, that you need to shift your thinking concerning a possible increase in insulin resistance. If it can reduce your pain and slow progression, then it’s gold. Stop wallowing and start working.

Damn, I really don’t want to sound harsh either… but really, it’s time to get serious about research and to change your priorities towards doing what you can to combat this. Don’t worry about the opinions of traditional doctors which will be a decade or more behind the state of the art.

Be a man and fight it. Rage, but don’t give up! In a while, when you are coping, help other young people that get this cope with it. Negative feelings and emotion are powerful - don’t let them overwhelm you, but harness them to drive your efforts in a positive direction.

57

[quote]huslinbriks wrote:
i’ll pass on the professional “help”… i don’t want to rely on toxic mind-altering drugs to be happy. sorry to sound like a scientologist but i really dont want anything to do with a psychiatrist

[/quote]

There’s your problem right there. You’d rather be unhappy than get help. You may have a chemical imbalance that requires medication. If not, drugless therapy may still benefit you.

58

My uncle was diagnosed with ALS four months ago. Since then he has lost all control of his limbs, bodily functions, and has now lost the ability to swallow. They put the feeding tube in two weeks ago. His lung capacity is at roughly 40%. The hospice nurse told my aunt that he will be gone in 2 or 3 weeks. When I saw him 1.5 weeks ago, his speech was barely intelligible. He gathered all of his family around him, and, in between my aunt suctioning the phlegm and saliva from his throat, told us all that he was going to die soon and that he loved us all very much.

In my opinion, THAT is how a MAN faces death. THAT is strength. THAT is courage. THAT shows character. Killing yourself when life gets hard is like tucking your tail and running when someone calls you out to fight.

I’ve thought about offing myself before (long time ago), even held the loaded 9mm in my lap. The only thing that stopped me was the thought that if I went ahead I’d be 100x more of a POS than I already thought I was. My parents would have been absolutely fucking crushed. I would rather be depressed my whole life than put them through that.

My favorite quote for tough times comes from Morgan Freeman in The Shawshank Redemption: “Get busy livin or get busy dyin. That’s damn right.”

60

[quote]Grimnuruk wrote:
Depression is a plague upon this Earth. It ruins and drains lives and family. Lived most of my life with it. Lost a good friend to it, who had a hell of a lot more going on for him than I ever had. Buried my little brother on my birthday a few years back because of it.

Depression is really something you can’t fully understand unless you’ve had it. Have to agree with some of the above posts: seek professional help. As to meds, they are something you do under a doctor’s supervision. They CAN help even if your problem is your “situation” not your “brain chemistry.” The latter is dependent on the former after all. Find a GOOD doctor.

I suspect some of the problems lately with suicides after taking meds is the depressed person hasn’t actually made the decision to get better and the doc just slaps them on some meds and that’s it. They haven’t actually treated the person, just tried to medicate things away without taking into consideration the myriad physiopsychosocial issues involved. Seems to me what happened to my brother.

Certainly the initial euphoria/empowerment I felt when I first started meds many years ago could have given me enough “will power” or whatever to off myself if I hadn’t already realized that I really wanted to get better.

While there are exceptions to any rule, I suspect most people could be driven to the extreme of considering such a thing in the depths of depression. The enviromental stresses would have to be intensive enough for long enough is all, each person being unique in what would be enough to do it. But then again, I’m biased because it is all I know. Sort of like the guys who think there is “no such thing” as overtraining.

Sorry, I’ve lived with it so my experience dictates that there sure as hell is…[/quote]

Its always easy to tell the guys that have suffered from true depression such as Grim, Vroom, myself and many others. Their responses are articulated from the point of view of someone who has lived in the dark hole that is depression. I have suffered most of my life and until recently (last year) i only went on the word of my family doctor.

I did not start to truly recover until i spoke to a shrink and began talking out my issues and for me found a medication that helps dramatically. Please don’t discount professional help and medication, the brain can become ill just as any other organ can.

For lifelong depression such as mine (recurring bouts with no external influence) medication is necessary and lifelong. It took me a long time to accept that because my family is totally anti-psychiatry, but it is easy for those who have not suffered the pain to say they would never consider a shrink or meds.

And as far as suicide goes anyone who has truly been clinically depressed has thought about it, those that say they have not either were not experiencing severe depression or they are lying. The battle you fight can be won though, please feel free to contact me at any time.

As for the physical i would recommmend staying on the fish oil and adding GLC 2000 it is a glucosamine type supplement with alot of backing among athletes and elderly arthritis sufferers as well.