You know, I’ve been giving this a lot of thought and I’ve determined that no one is more pathetic than those guys that deface public restrooms. I love the idea that somehow this makes them badasses. Listen, anyone can stroll into a men’s room with a Sharpie in their pocket, lock the door, and then go to work. This isn’t high stakes safe cracking. I’ll tell you who the badasses are. They’re the guys who are spray painting walls under highway overpasses in the middle of the night. Yup, out in the elements. True warriors. They have to worry about cops and hobos. What about you? The maintenance man?
It also doesn’t say much for our bathroom boys that their target audience is a group of men who have the urge to defecate; people so unabashed that they’ll take a shit anywhere. Your office is their outhouse. Yes, your work is shit. Furthermore, our friends’ “art” isn’t even legible. I don’t think anyone can understand this stuff. What are you guys saying? It reminds me of when you ask a five year-old to draw a picture of his house or something. The end result is this garbled mess of lines, rectangles, and shit. It goes up on the refrigerator and draws snickers from the plumber, who can’t unclog the sink because he’s too busy laughing at the kid’s horrible drawing. Yeah, it’s kind of like that.
So, congratulations, losers. You’ve done well for yourselves. But, beware, for one of these days, someone (probably a guy that likes a clean bathroom) is going to find you and stick that Sharpie straight up your ass.
Let’s tear down walls, not write on them.