Ok T-dudes & T-vixens, I need some advice on some dating issues I’m having. Currently I attend a college where the male/female ratio is 3 to 1. I met this girl through a friend one day, and that night she ended up hangin in my room and we exchanged back rubs. She got semi-naked, but not in a slutty way. I’m telling you right now, she works out and has a REAL hard body. But I controlled myself. We ended up holding each other and hugging and stuff for quite a while. We talked endlessly, maybe too much, but she did most of it. At one point I thought she wanted to kiss me/me to kiss her, but it didn’t happen. Mostly because I’m a wuss at this stuff. That was about 4 or 5 days ago. Since then, we’ve chatted on Instant Message and she thinks I’m real sweet and “too nice to be true” and all, but she doesn’t really seem to be jumping at any chances to hang out again. She has valid excuses, and I don’t push it, but she’s really cool and I would really like to hang with her again. Maybe go running, lifting, play ball, watch a movie, who knows. So my question is this: what do women really want?? Should I keep being a patient nice guy, or should I press her a little more to see if she really has any interest further than friendship? If you all could give me some experiece or advice, I’d greatly appreciate it, because it’s really getting lonely up here. Thanks!!
Press her my friend. If you don’t, she’ll soon be telling you of “this great guy” she just met, and you’ll be outta luck.
Choad, she is probably asking the same things to her friends. She is waiting for YOU to ask her out. She doesn’t want to appear slutty or forward by initiating something. Preserve her honor and ask her to do something together, o.k?
I think you better do somthing NOW (unless you’re talking about my bus girl from another post). You can’t let these things go on too long (unless it’s that bus girl). She seems to be into you & she’ll find someone else if you don’t seem to be into her.
next time you talk say ‘i’d love to hang out again, when are you free’? yes, it sounds lame, but if she has been that busy it will show her that you’re still interested, and that you’re not holding the rest of her life/commitments against her. and if she says ‘i don’t know, i’ll get back to you’ then you hav the answer you don’t want, but you’ve both saved face. yes, press her a bit…but don’t push. good luck!
Ok, I’m just going to go for it. That’s what I usually do anyway, so why change now, right? Wish me luck!
OK, easy fix. Rules to adhere by. Number 1, don’t ask her to “hang out sometime”. Ask her to do something very specific and at a specific time. If it isn’t a good time and she is interested, she’ll counter offer. Number two. Make the move. If you need to do it in stages, then when you go on your next date, make sure you spend time talking, (use your ears and your mouth in the proper ratio), close the gap between your faces a little more,touch her face in a non threatening way and read her. Then, by all means, go for it. Don’t give the wussy buzz on the cheek, real kiss, first time. You’ll be fine.
Let me pass on a story Michael Crichton (the writer) told in his nonfiction book called “Travels”. He’s at his gf’s apartment and her roommate comes in and doesn’t know he’s there. She slams the door and says, “What does a girl have to do to get laid in this town!” Then she sees him there and is embarassed. But then they get to talking and moral of the story is- sometimes a woman doesn’t want a gentleman who “controls himself”. Sometimes she just wants to fuck. Of course, because of society’s norms, most women won’t come out and say such a thing, unless she’s Madonna, of course.
Anyway, this may or may not fit your situation, but I can tell you that many guys miss out on a lot of action because they’re playing the gentleman and acting out a role they think women like. And sometimes, women don’t want that. You may also want to read my “Get Laid the Testosterone Way” article back in issue #93 of T-mag. It’s written tongue-in-cheek, but it still holds true.
Strike one, bro. When you didn’t make your move, she was most likely wondering “What’s wrong? Is it me? Is he scared?”. Clearly she likes you, and if you find yourself in a similar situation soon, you’d better go for it. Otherwise she probably won’t give you a third chance. And Chris Shugart is right on the money. In today’s nampy pamby Casper Milquetoast world of “Modern Men” a lot of women are dying for a guy to come along and just act like a friggin’ MAN. Being a gentleman is fine, but you have to know when she wants you to be a “nice guy”, AND when she wants you to take her like a grunting, sex-crazed animal. Just don’t act like either one all the time.
You HAVE to be aggressive. When she was at your place, you should’ve been barefoot on the couch slappin’ her in the head with your dong asking, “Are you ready yet?”
My friends and I have a saying - “If it ain’t hardcore, it’s time to go home.” I wanna see some hardcore, jamming it till she gags, tears in her eyes, slapping her in the face, blowjob lovin’. That’s what I LIVE for!
Be cool and ask her out again. If she keeps saying no, take the hint. Don’t beg, just let it go. There are plenty of girls. (And don’t take Merlin’s advice. That’s called rape.)
oak, i have to agree with you on that one. sorry merlin, that’s not even remotely amusing. (and don’t make some ‘girl’ comment here either, i’m not exactly the ‘frigid’ type.)
Natey, you crack me up! Choad, I think it’s come to the point where if you don’t do anything about it now, nothing will happen between you and her. It seems that she’s not coming to you, so if you give her a shot, you got nothing to lose.
Listen to Chris. Ask her out, have a plan, and believe me, if she’s interested in some nekkidness it will happen. You have to go for it assertively, but be respectful. Every time I tried to be extra nice… zippo. When I was assertive but still respectful towards her…ka ching!
Check it out people: this chick is totally into me. It’s been a while since I had to remember how to hook up with a woman, but now that you’ve all helped to snap me back into reality, I’m all set. This honey is mine. I do have one more little problem though. I have never been able to get off with a blowjob. Many femals have tried, none have succeeded. Any suggestions for this one?
An orgasm with a BJ? Yeah, all the time. Usually, the girl makes the mistake of trying to simulate a pussy by applying too much pressure. I think it is more stimulating when she presses her hand against your pubic bone, therefore making you member feel oh so naked to the world. Then the mouth should be applying just the right amount of friction, not too much, not too little. You need to provide feedback to her while she’s doing it. Then, as you get close, she can move her mouth and hands in unison. If she’s not the swallowing type, be sure to warn her a couple of seconds in advance, or that will be the last BJ you ever get from her.