Dashing highway men? Ha! Heh, very well. My friend Colin’s parents have a house (basically a trailer home that has been bricked around - apparently there are a few of these things up in Scotland) in Gretna, and were on holiday, so he thought it a good opportunity to go up there to do two of Scotlands three crap amusement parks for the coaster credits. (We’re all coaster geeks and some of us keep a log of all the coasters we’ve ridden, however small or shite. I’m over 500 now). And also because, whilst the parks are nothing to write home about, it’d be an excuse to meet up and have some fun.
So on Thursday night I got a train up to Manchester (where Col lives) with Adam, who’s also in London, then Col met us at the station and we drove up to Gretna from there with Col, his new flatmate Harry and his parents’ 15 year old bull terrier cross, which was on its last legs.
Arrived in a freezing house, went to bed and prepared to do some coastering on the Friday.
Problem is, Col’s had a problem with his guts for the past 15 years. No one has ever been able to diagnose it, but sometimes he gets extreme discomfort in his lower bowel coupled with debilitating nausea, and has to be hospitilised. Which is what happened on Friday. He spent half the day writhing around and puking, hoping that it would pass, but it didn’t, so eventually we called an ambulance and Adam (who trained as a nurse) went with him to the nearest hospital. We also called Col’s boyfriend, Nick, who had to work on Friday, and he came up with Col’s meds. Which meant I was left in a small house with Harry, who is 23 and into Harry Potter, and nothing else to do. (Gretna itself is not exactly a hotspot of tourist fun, unless you’re planning on getting married). So Friday really consisted of drinking coffee, reading Col’s mum’s cookbook collection and playing Boggle.
By Saturday Col was OK so the five of us decided to do both parks (they were small parks) and then drive into Edinburgh for dinner. The first park, Loudon Castle, is out in the sticks a bit. The castle itself is a ruin but has one OK coaster and some other rides, so we had fun there (Adam and I got told off for kicking each other on the flying chair ride by a ride op half our ages - which made us laugh. The local Scots are not what you’d call charming, it’s more “Listen, Pal, I’ve thrown people out fer less.” The one thing you know is that if a Glaswegian calls you “Pal” he is not being friendsly). Video of Loudon if anyone is interest.
So after that we headed to M&Ds, a smaller park on the outskirts of Glasgow. M&Ds do travelling fair rides but their park is home to a few rubbish coasters that don’t travel, and some of the travelling rides when they are not at fairs. It’s also populated by the local Glaswegians who consist of uncouth teens with bizarre shaved and spiked hair styles, fat women and feral children.
This is a fairly typical M&Ds patron.
Link: http://i247.photobucket.com/albums/gg132/UKridesinfo/TRpics/trz6.jpg
So we messed around here, rode the rough, shite coasters whilst trying to avoid the sputum in the queue lines, and sampled the delights of deep fried pizzas. The local cuisine consists of anything deep fried…often with salt and vinegar. I took one mouthful and that was it. Foul.
After that it was on to Edinburgh, via the Forth bridge (photo stop) and we found a fantastic restaurant and had steak followed by cheesecake.
Got home at 2am. Slept, then went back to London the next day.
