I usually play it cool and layed back with women. For example, after a date, if I’m interested, I wait for three or four days to call. Now does this still apply if when the date was ending we made out for a few minutes? I would assume she was showing interest so she is wanting me to call, but I don’t want to seem all needy and horned up. Any suggestions? Remember, we only made out, we didn’t get naked and play hide the weenie.
Cut it down to 2 or 3 days instead. Like you said she hasnt given it all yet. So you are still being evaluated. Dont be a loser who gets a little action and call her the next day. Thinking that she likes you, only makes you feel like putting your guards down and just being straight up. Its too direct. Too male. You’ll know when she’s done dancing. AKA When she gives it up.
There’s no point in playing games or waiting 3 days to call her, but it’s also not good to be too desperate. Personally, I think that you should wait at the most one day to call her. Really, just go with waht feels right! Good luck!!!
use reverse psychology and don’t call her… that will freak her out! hahaha! she’ll be like wtf? he didn’t call me…
Well, if you actually put your purple-headed worrier into her quivering mound of love pudding, I would say definately don’t call her. But if you both had a good time why not call her? Most women bitch that guy take to long to call them. Fuck it, call her…who knows you might marry her, have kids and wonder when the next ime you’ll be able to make it into the gym will be.
No. Don’t do what “feels” right. Do what is right. Namely, wait three days after the make out session before you call. Act sort of disinterested, aloof.
Unfortunately, I think that it’s almost always necessary to play games to some degree. In the past, I’ve dated more than just a few girls where we did some heavy petting really soon on, I took it for something it wasn’t and came on too strong, and the girl was gone in a heartbeat. To put it simply, be persistent but be light (i.e. call her but wait a few days and never call her more than once or twice without waiting for her to call you back). Go real easy for the first few months and take dates for what they are: dates. They not all necessarily opportunities to meet your future wife.
I thought women were supposed to be the sneaky lying game players who can’t make up their minds. You GUYS are so full of shit! She kissed you, you like her, so fuckin call her already and go from there. And what was that remark about don’t call if you slept with her? Would you want your sister treated that way? Geezus! Men!
Just want to chime in and agree with the majority – wait 3 days, be the one in control and with other possibilities (makes you more interesting and more of a challenge), and be the one to end the conversation. Good luck.
I hate when guys have to puss out and play the2 day rule. or the 3 day rule or the not at all rule. don’t ask for a frickin number if you aren’t going to call. call!
Why don’t you just call a woman when you feel like calling her? Screw setting up guidelines and being like “Well we almost had sex but not really, so I am only going to wait 12 hours.” That’s stupid, if you like her, call her and listen to what she has to say…
Your post reminds of a good analogy. Andrew Dice Clay once remarked that women were always coming up to him and telling him that he was way too dirty. His response? “Women write all of this shit for me. I don’t write any of this.” The point is, like it or not, men are more or less forced play women’s games if they want to get anywhere. Hell, my dad has been married to my mom for 30 years and he tells that he still has to play games with her from time to time. Face it, if you guys didn’t sit around analyzing the living shit out of every single thing we say and do, we probably would do what we felt like doing with you as opposed to what we thought we ought to do. To conclude, there’s a reason why nice guys don’t get laid much. I guarantee most of those “asshole” guys out there that get laid all the time aren’t actually assholes at all; they do it because it works and women have no one to blame but themselves.
The game-playing is the unfortunate result of people being afraid to put themselves out on a limb. We are so protective of our feelings that we don’t want to be misunderstood or mistreated, so we initiate game-playing as a form of self-protection. Instead of being open and honest about our feelings and what we want from other people, we hide behind the need for challenges. Even though we may want to hear from someone we will wait the appropriate number of days because otherwise we will look desperate. This game-playing dance is awful because it truly hides the real people playing the games. Often we get past it (thank goodness!). Other times we lose out because of the games.
And JRC, please tell me the end result isn’t always “just to get laid”. Surely there is more to the pursuit of a relationship than JUST having sex. Isn’t there?
Of course there is. And BTW, I wholeheartedly agree with 95% of your post. Most of what I had to say comes from observations and not necessarily personal experience. Hell, I promise you that I’m one of the nice guys. I won’t get into it because I could write an entire doctoral dissertation on this subject, but the fact remains that there is a reason why guys are rarely themselves around girls that they have an intimate interest in. Girls absolutely LOVE to try and figure guys out. You women see this as a “challenge” and become more and more interested in the guy. If there’s no challenge, then there’s no game for you to play. If a guy is too available too soon, girls often see this as a sign of desperation or whatever in the guy and lose all interest almost immediately. Like it or not, it is through women’s own doings that men do the things that you women claim you don’t like. I hope I don’t sound too much like a 1st grader, but face it, you ladies started it.
Call her after letting one full day pass. DON’T call and say nothing, be brief, say you had a good time, and be assertive and ask her to do something specific. no “you wanna get together” instant loss, “I have tckets to (whatever) starts at 8, I thought we’d go”
But isn’t the same true for guys? Don’t guys laugh at the girls who call all the time, show how available they are, etc. etc.? I admit we women analyze things to death, but I think guys play the same games as women do. They are just as afraid to put their feelings on the line and if a girl does put her feelings on the line, the guys either take advantage of the situation (in other words, use the chick), or they run away.
BTW, I am so glad I am no longer in this game-playing arena! Whew!
Well I called tonight. For you guys and girls information it was four days after our date. My “game playing” must have worked because she accepted another date on Saturday night. The reason I wait is because of personal experience with calling too soon and they lose interest. I must seem interesting for about three weeks then it ends as it seems that is the length of about all my relationships (if you can call them that in three weeks.) So now I am trying something different.
Don’t wait three days to call her. I hate that “playing it cool” shit that everyone thinks you have to do. Your not desperate if you call the next day, you just don’t want to play the games. Just make it short and sweet. Tell her you’d like to get together again. If she doesn’t want to, fuck it, move on. If she’s playing games, she ain’t worth it anyway.
If a woman gives up the bootie on the first date. Hell no do not call her back unless it is a bootie call and make that very clear. Woman that gives it up on the first date cannot be trusted… Plain and simple. No double standard here though I would not expect respect if I give it up first date either.