I agree 100% my goal is just to help him develope some self-confidence and be more comfortable in his own skin.
1 Like
I agree with thatā¦ just needing to get him to that pointā¦
The kid is too self conscious to take his shirt off in a locker room during a P.E. class.
1 Like
Hmm a little time but nothing extremeā¦ but i wouldnt say to the point of hero worshiping.
Im just curious if being around the oldest and myself makes him even more self conscious or notā¦
Personally i would get him to work with a trainer once or twice a week and then you work with him if he wants more.
Training someone who is nowhere near your level is very difficult and in my experience leads to issues.
I would let him explore this himself with you/his mom being supportive and helpful.
The moment you get involved and maybe push a litle too hard thats when the bad feelings and resentment from the kid starts, at least in my experience.
1 Like
Definitely possible. I like @s.gentzās suggestion if it works financially. So he can play on your field, but with you (and his mom) as the cheering section rather than coach.
That thought crossed my mindā¦ Ive toyed with asking my oldest who has more experience with younger kids. Or call in a few favors with a few trainers i know.
Yeah thats my concern on my endā¦ either ill expect too much from him or ill baby him at this point. Simply because im too close to the situation.
Oh 100%ā¦ i tried explaining to his mother im here if he needs me but its his call.
Yep agree
2 Likes
Oh i agree with that.
1 Like
Fantastic advice all around. Only add from me, and it can be as shocking as the uncoordinated point, the hardest part for him may actually just be being in a big room with other people in it. If he can earn himself one compliment from someone he doesnāt know, or make one gym buddy, that could change his entire experience.
5 Likes
I was toying with taking him to my friends place for a visitā¦ But in retrospect it might be too damn intimidating.
1 Like
It would destroy my son. My $0.02 is that I donāt even know that Iād worry about anything thatās āgoodā for him right now. Just invite him to join you to train, then do some fluff BS you know is easy (arm pumps are always great!), and thank him over and over for being there for you, saying that made it a lot of fun for you. Keep it short enough he doesnāt have time to be bored. Eventually he might notice somebody doing something he canāt, and even ask you to help him learn it.
7 Likes
My son doesnāt like weights much at all, but he does like splitting wood, cutting the grass, stuff like that.
So I bought him a 6 lb. sledge hammer. Thats his āstarterā. He was admiring the 8, 10 & 12 at the hardware store, & the 16 have, but I told him that once he gets a good swing on the 6 lb. Iāll get him an 8 lb.
He loves it though. Heāll go out in the yard and swing it and smack stuff with it and the splitting maul for hours sometimes.
2 Likes
Yes! Yes to this entire post. Itās perfect.
I took a part time job in a gym when I was 20, went full time and became part of a management team as my owners acquired new facilities. I was (and am) a dorky girl with no coordination. That place changed everything for me, and thatās because no one asked me to be athletic or cool or accomplished. They liked me the way I was and just laughed when I went the wrong way on the field playing football for the first time. One of my friends from that time competed in BBing and another did really respectably in big-name marathons. It would have been intimidating if they hadnāt been so cool and welcoming to the fitness world.
1 Like
Find out which video games he likes to play, or which video game characters he thinks have a good physique.
Then find a way to make the workouts somehow relatable to those characters.
There are a Bunch of nerds posting here who say they got strong or muscular because they watched a particular cartoon or video game character and were inspired by that.
Use what he already likes to direct little dudeās natural enthusiasm towards training.
4 Likes
On a humorous noteā¦
She mentioned getting him a membership at a local Planet Fitness.
My reaction wasā¦
( sarcastic)
Yes ā¦im a gym snob.
4 Likes
Ive concludedā¦ unless the boy in question asks me for insight. Im just here if he needs me
Which was how i was with my 2 sons. I get what his mother wants in pushing the issue but thats the boys call.
6 Likes
Completely agree!
1 Like
Well its back in play againā¦
Apparently , his therapist she has him seeing suggested he needs to do something to address his self-esteem issue due to his poor body image.
JUST TO complicate matters ā¦ apparently he confined with his mother that he views me as a father figure.
She asked me last night to sit down with him and address the issue with him.
2 Likes
What would you think about doing some kind of manhood initation ceremony to get him supercharged?
Go camping, even if its just a fire in the backyard, bring a bunch of your buddies, everyone brings something like dog tags, a knife, a book about lifting, cool sunglasses, ect, to give to him and they tell a story about why it is important to them as a man and they are giving it to them for the future.
Do something like grill steaks for the first time, decide to teach him what he wants tomorrow, then do some baptism ceremony where he has to jump in a body of water and recite an oath, then plan an initial trip to the the gym the next morning.
That speaks well about you. Good luck, all the best to your son.
2 Likes
If his therapist knew anything about the horrific self-esteem issues we frequently see in iron sports as it relates to body image, Iām sure theyād say that lifting weights is the LAST thing this kid needsā¦
2 Likes
Just stumbled on this thread. A fifteen year old weighing almost as much as I did at his age. Well, I can tell you all about this.
I had body image issues at that age. Boy, did I. Phys ed was a nightmare. Too weak to do exercises.
He sees you as a father image. Ah ha. I had a father, but no interest in sports. Never helped me. Iām guessing if you just tossed a baseball with him, it would do a world of good.
Hereās my guess. He needs to know itās possible to get big and strong - or at least stronger. Tell him it can be done, and heāll grab it. If he sees weightlifting as the ticket, heāll want it as fast as possible.
Hereās what you want. He needs results. Heās gotta see something changing. Start with lifting broomsticks - yes, broomstick. Take it slow. Eventually get up to a 20 lb bar. Take time. Watch as reps go up.
I once went to a doc for my scoliosis and he gave me exercises to strengthen core. Best stuff ever. Easy, but works. Concentrate on arching back on cue, heāll need it for lifting.
Iām guessing he doesnāt have great genetics. Everythingās gotta be in place. Lots of protein, creatine, fish oil, collagen, up to and including the kitchen sink. Heavy on encouragment, light on criticism.
Speaking for myself, I would have killed at 15 for someone to come up and tell me āwanna get big and strong with weightliftitng?ā
3 Likes