hearts to mai brutiful.
i know the anxiety stuff sucks, spent a few months like that in spring… i ended up employing some xanax and an emergency trip to see my best friend and a litter of 8 week old cavalier king charles cocker spaniels.
do what you need to do, to feel better. it’s worth it.
i reckon you and nigel will sort things out. mostly because you are getting an independent eye to give you a hand.
when i was 11-20 i was majorly into dog agility training:
had 3 border collies over the years (fastest maxi sized dog). bred to herd sheep, though, so a lot of a handful. the first one (and actually the second one, too) was too much for me, basically. i did clicker training and obedience training as well as the agility but never got the dominance and fear / aggression issues properly sorted out. the third one was going the same way - but i got a lot more help with things to try etc. the last one turned out much better.
those overhead squats were amazing! think you scared those gym peoples good! love it how you dropped the bar at the end. loving the stripes and tat’s, too. i can totally see you with short spiky hair. maybe in green??
hey alexus :D–that agility is badass. did you own the three dogs or train them for others??? border collie are so freaking smart, how cool that you trained them:)
OH --i totally love short hair…so bad:)
AS for my dog …I’m beginning to think Nigel is …well.
Last night he lunged and nearly connected–he wanted to but i pulled him off barely in time–at a 90 pound coworker’s FACE. Unprovoked. She was actually sitting on the floor petting him at the time, he gives such little warning. He approached her fine and they were friends, she stroking his head, then he lowered it real quick, gave her the eye and fucking went for her face. I didn’t connect the head lowering fast enough…oh my god I feel awful 
and he kept at it. I left the scene walked him a bit and on the way back he spotted her 20 feet away and lunged. and i feel like shit.
AWFUL. I haven’t been gyming it this week except for carido on weds and one set of front squats today ( one thirty five for 20) because between a staff meeting in the middle of the day throwing me off sleep schedule,and other crap I had 6 hours of sleep in the last 48. well, i got maybe 3 this after noon before Nigel started screaming and acting up
he was doing so good…but anyways yesterday for some reason he started becoming mouthy and going for my arms when he starts to get playful and jumpy which i DON’T like. AT ALL. sigh…next training session is on tuesday…
I take it so personal, and it makes me feel like a horrible person and dog owner–even though I know I’m trying and doing my best and trying to be responsible. last night just really leveled my confidence… Non the less i feel so inadequate. I’ll keep trying though.
But I’m not going to live long term with an unresolved aggression issue. I don’t want that stress or that dog
SIGGGGHHHHH. :
also I am officially on the lookout for a new shift or clinic to work at. I’m going to get off overnight shift work. Four years is more then enough.
i remember taking my dogs issues personally, too
i owned the dogs. that was what made it harder to train them. they were pets, primarily, but i wanted to do well in agility, too. mostly the best agility dogs seem to be agility rather than pet dogs primarily. spend a lot of time in crates or being run to take care of physical energy so they are very motivated to get positive human contact as a reward in their training and are tired enough to be controllable. main problem with them was their tendency to hurtle their body at you and knock you over and snapping / open mouth collision. too excitable. they would wind me up, then my being wound up would wind them up etc. either we would win (clear round / no faults + fastest time) or we would be disqualified because they ran out of the ring to launch at something and / or did the wrong course. usually the latter.
i wouldn’t get border collies again. or if i did i’d be sure to get ones that had been bred for a number of generations primarily for show / pets (rather than sheep herding). the herding ones are most trainable (in theory) but unless they have herds to manage you need to expend much more mental and physical effort keeping them occupied and out of trouble than is feasible for pets. next time… i think i want a red / irish setter… though they can be a bit skittish… maybe something big and dopey and placid.
i think every breed has its genetically wired problems. not inevitably, but general trends in what kinds of things can go wrong. some breeds have (unfortunately) been selected for fighting / biting for a while now… that isn’t to say that ALL those dogs will be problematic in that way… but they can be a be predisposed to respond like that.
i really do hope that you can get things sorted out with him. but if you can’t… it really isn’t a personal failure on your part at all. i think… it can be quite like relationships more generally… in the sense that sometimes the match doesn’t work. sometimes because of living circumstances (e.g., trying to keep herding disposed border collies in apartments not in crates). all my dogs… were found homes on farms. away from stock (they probably would have attacked stock since they hadn’t been exposed to it from a young age). but many acres to run around like crazy things on herding shadows and leaves that fall off trees. i visited them… they seemed much calmer and happier for it.
…i’m glad you told me about that alexus it sucks but I really appreciate it–i think you’re right too about it being like a relationship. I think you are also right about genetics…sigh.
I am going to try. Finish up my training, and if that’s no go I’ll give a few months of some medication…but…I just…well, you know how i feel which is a huge relief. I won’t be held hostage by a situation I can deal with.
AS for if it came to it I don’t think he would be able to be placed. He was slated for probably euthanasia at my work initially, then again he would have probably been at the shelter for his cage aggression . I’m not thinking that yet but I’m trying to get the idea out in my head so if it comes to it i won’t feel like such an asshole.
I’m all upset over this…and cue the binging. FUCK. But i’m going to try, and if i fail…then …I’ll fail.
the genetics thing can be a bit of a shame about some breeds. the whole breed gets a bad rep - but, really, for the most part the issues are due to dogs being backyard bred for the wrong traits (rather than the ones that have been bred more recently for show / obedience) and / or the people who are attracted to those breed encouraging the wrong traits when the dogs are young. there are many lovely people who like pit bulls etc - and i’ve seen some really very good natured ones - but for the most part they did come from show / obedience lines and the owners put a lot into their training from a very young age.
i do know of many people who came through the club with dogs that had been abandoned and they really did do a lot in trying to get happy dogs who behaved appropriately - but in a lot of cases the dogs needed different living environments or to be put down because there wasn’t anything appropriate. it is sad - but (if it is some small consolation) at least the dogs got a chance with a good home rather than not getting one. and sometimes things do get better and work out.
talk to the person who is helping you out. she works with him sometimes when you aren’t around and also sees how you two interact - yeah? that means she will get a sense of what he will be like in different environments as well as what might be more particular to your interaction. i learned (and it upset me greatly) that my nervous temperament was not suited to dogs with a nervous temperament. they might do well with someone calmer - but not with me. border collies need to be constantly working, too. if you don’t train them to do tasks and give them a task to be getting on with then they will destroy things. mine started literally eating the walls and chewing the legs off wooden tables. ripping apart duvet covers and couch cushions etc. still, i couldn’t bring myself to put them in crates. they needed to be outside constantly herding something, basically. there might be a different kind of environment that suits him better. you might be able to create it, or it might be able to be found. or it might (sadly) be that he can’t be socialized.
it is hard. truth be told… i’m not sure that i’ll ever get dogs again. hang in there, brute. you are a good person and a good owner to him. you can only do the best that you can do - and you surely are. no fault on your part. you are giving him the best chance you can.
I don’t really have anything to add regarding Nigel but I’m sorry to hear about the setback. The other day I got tapped up by a fundraiser for Battersea Dogs Home (well, it’s Cats and Dogs Home these days) and he was saying a large number of the dogs they get in now are Staffs and Pits that have been bred by teens for fighting. It’s heartbreaking.
They don’t euthanise unless a dog is dangerous, either but since these dogs can lock on they can do a lot of damage or even kill. It might be safest to muzzle him in public, at least for the time being. Better safe than sorry.
Growing up, I had an old hairy mongrel, and usually he was soft as shit (old ladies used to dote on him) but occassionally he would bite and we had to muzzle him as well. Dogs can be unpredictable.
Awesome overhead squats, btw.
A normal daytime Brute?
That sounds sort of relieving doesn’t it? I’m sure you’ll find a new job soon. There’s always adds here for Vet techs. Did you know I thought I wanted to be a Equine vet when growing up? 
I even volunteered at a Vet place and everything.
Anyway…sorry about your pooper.
How has the training been going aside from that debacle?? Your a good doggy Mommy.
Brute: I am really sorry to hear about Nigel. However, this turns out I know you have given your heart to save that dog. And I hope you go easy on yourself. And I hope things work out.
We had a crazy french bull dog. He was too little and his mouth didn’t work well enough to be really dangerous, but he was oddly agressive. Vet prescribed prozac–he was only on it for awhile, but it seemed to help. Maybe drugs sooner rather than later?
I’m really sorry to hear the dog issues are going poorly. It’s hard to put your heart out and just not feel like it’s enough.
Have you had his hormones checked? Do you notice any triggers for the behavior that can be avoided?
When I’ve dealt with aggressive cats and other animals, It’s always seemed like there’s a line in play and amount of time spent petting them or even just the mood they’re in where you just have to stop interaction. Have you tried teaching him any submissive behaviors, like rolling over? If you did, you could then have a training session immediately after behavior act-ups where you put him through the submissive behaviors, thereby restablishing the relationship and your own dominance.
Do you have a gentle leader for him? I had a friend tell me those things work miracles.
[quote]mom-in-MD wrote:
Anyway…sorry about your pooper.
[/quote]
I just glanced at the post and saw this. Made me lol.
Brutie, let me know if you’d like to get together for a drink/dinner/workout.
thank you alexus :{ – i am the only one how works with him so far except my trainer who i will be seeing once a week for the next four weeks. that is probably a problem but the only option I have for him since I live alone, am single, and well…everyone else is kinda afraid of him :{
I probably would have a lot easier time if i had a roomie or some one else around all the time. SO far me and my sister are the only ones he really loves and can handle him. The girl he tried to attack was his friend previously.
I got a blessed relief today and my sister took him for the day and tired him out so i could sleep. i was so delirious by then end of my work shift last night i was in tears while walking him this morning–after a huge bout of frustration.
that must have been really hard for you to adopt out your dogs as well:{ but you did the right thing, but man…that’s hard.
hey Cal-- you are right about that. I have to remember he’s a powerful fucking guy. that’s what was so hard yesterday for me to get out of my head --the vision of him nearly maiming that poor girl. he could have killed her in front of my eyes. i know he’s an animal and all dogs have that ability to go into animal mode. i just feel so awful knowing it was my fault. .I have a big powerful dog and its my responsibility to control him. and i fucked up and it very easily could have been very bad.
but i know i have to let that go but not forget it. from now on absolutely no one is allowed to pet and say hi to him until i have him under control. which is hard when he’s very cute and everyone and their mom wants to say hi etc–the worst at douche dudes who want to stop and tell hour long stories about their dogs. i get to be a bitch and tell them fuck off he’s viscous in the nicest possible way ha–that kinda made me laugh
Mim__you are right on it. it is a huge relief and a long time coming. I needed that extra push to get me out of my comfort zone…plus I need to move forward in my life…get a lil Brute family going. meeting people isn’t easy when you sleep all day–which is a convenient excuse. I’ve been healing and hiding for long enough.
large animal?? WORD–now that is serious shit. I have alot of respect for those people because its fucking crazy and dangerous …if you still have that fever however…they always need techs. and they pay more then regular small animal techs get:) and thank you for the mommy vibes…
Hey Nadia–you are right about the drugs too. I’m going to try a medication called Clonacalm. it similar to human anti anxiety med and it takes 3 months to get high enough levels in the body to work. I"m starting it right away. I hope i can get a similar effect with my pooper–just using the medication to get over the rough patches, i hope so.
Hey ironcross–you are right too about the triggers. His ass is bad. He doesn’t give much warning at all before he goes into a lunge or a fuckign bite to the throat. which is bad. I did learn form the trainer however a few things to look for which i wouldn’t have realized were signs. …sigh. this whole thing exhuast me so much.
as for the submissive behaviors i have so-so sucess with it. when i tried to do that intially before i had a trainer it went over BAD. he rebelled quite alot. it brought out a whole other set of problems, and thus the real fight for dominance was truly started.
the gentle leaders are cool. i haven’t tried one, i was about to do so but luckly enough after the first trianing lesson he began to pick up that he needs to walk behind me–it was fantastic and a complete suprise so the walks have been great for the last week for the most part, yet as my work week progresses the bad behavior seemed to climax and return. :{
and thank you for the good vibes too
OH PMPM…thank you. I am so ridiculously distraught over this. my life is pretty chill normally and this has decimated me. the whole nearly killing a person–no exaggeration --put it over the top. I am held hostage currently by his behavior until I can get my shit together. case and point i am at fucking Einstein bagels as i type since he will not allow me to use the computer at home.
He becomes crazy and jumps,bites, freaks out . mmehhh. i’m not going to give him a treat so he’ll be distracted just so i can fucking check my bank account because it’ll just perpetuate his manipulations.
and enough dog drama.
I made it to the gym for a little bit. I’ve gone to the gym a few times this week , but all i did was literally pick up a bar, and re-rack it.Seriously. then walk out totally over it and not giving a shit.
My heart is totally not in it …its rare that me not working out much at all in the last two weeks hasn’t made me feel bad or crazed and let down. i just have no heart:{ but fucking fine for now i guess.
managed 3 sets of things though so hey.
dls 225x22
gms 95x15
overheads 95x28 i think
an hour long walk with Nigel/Shark face.
sending mad resumes…mad resume internet sending…
good luck on the new job search! being proactive will certainly bring positive changes your way.
On full time Nigel training duty . Its exhausting but also I think I’m getting some where.
MY training isn’t on the top shelf right now. I did get to the gym yesterday and today --just stuff i needed to do to feel happy and better about myself.
thurs
dl’s 225x 31 --pr OH.also i should get extra credit since my mp3 was busted
gms 95x 18
hour long nigel walk
today
over heads 140 x 11 pr
135x10, x9,140x5
hour long nigel walk
Sounds like you’re hunkered in for serious Nigel reform. It also sounds like you’ve found a vibe you can work in; making progress with Shark Face AND hitting rep PR’s in the gym. Happy stuff.
It does sound as though you are making progress with him and good for you for getting to the gym. Hang in there hon.
Brute, I’m sorry to hear that you are facing some challenges right now. My very best wishes for everything to resolve in a good way.