Most of the “men” getting pissed at cheating are just mad because they are not sure if they have what it takes to keep you away from their wife!! Either that,or they have been screwed over before
[quote]orion wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
I don’t think anyone is saying this. Just that cheating on your wife takes away from little time you actually have to spend with the wife and kids.
I only see them for a few hours a night on weekdays. Imagine if I was having an affair. It would directly impact quality time with the family.
Your are right and I never thought about it that way.
I must have sex at the workplace then, neglecting my job, not my family…[/quote]
Sounds like a plan.
[quote]ocn2000 wrote:
Most of the “men” getting pissed at cheating are just mad because they are not sure if they have what it takes to keep you away from their wife!! Either that,or they have been screwed over before[/quote]
Wrong answer. I worry about no man stealing my wife.
[quote]ocn2000 wrote:
Most of the “men” getting pissed at cheating are just mad because they are not sure if they have what it takes to keep you away from their wife!! Either that,or they have been screwed over before[/quote]
Haha. More like those that cheat with abandon and no qualms have never been lucky enough to find a women that’s hot enough, sexually stimulating, and mentally interesting enough to stay faithful too. Kinda sad.
[quote]jsbrook wrote:
ocn2000 wrote:
Most of the “men” getting pissed at cheating are just mad because they are not sure if they have what it takes to keep you away from their wife!! Either that,or they have been screwed over before
Haha. More like those that cheat with abandon and no qualms have never been lucky enough to find a women that’s hot enough, sexually stimulating, and mentally interesting enough to stay faithful too. Kinda sad.[/quote]
Well said.
I call it penis envy (I love this term)
Male jealousy is more subtle and those who envy the fact they can’t have a f#ckadrome who is also your best friend or best supplement if you will, could create and indulge in this fantasy about male “dominance” and “we are all animals” propaganda ( and other men bite into this ) - when it may well boil down to be just envy at feeling less of a man when compared to those who are truly happy and enjoying satisfying sexual lives with one life partner.
Everything is possible - but only you know whether you’ve been bought.
[quote]Alpha F wrote:
jsbrook wrote:
ocn2000 wrote:
Most of the “men” getting pissed at cheating are just mad because they are not sure if they have what it takes to keep you away from their wife!! Either that,or they have been screwed over before
Haha. More like those that cheat with abandon and no qualms have never been lucky enough to find a women that’s hot enough, sexually stimulating, and mentally interesting enough to stay faithful too. Kinda sad.
Well said.
I call it penis envy (I love this term)
Male jealousy is more subtle and those who envy the fact they can’t have a f#ckadrome who is also your best friend or best supplement if you will, could create and indulge in this fantasy about male “dominance” and “we are all animals” propaganda ( and other men bite into this ) - when it may well boil down to be just envy at feeling less of a man when compared to those who are truly happy and enjoying satisfying sexual lives with one life partner.
Everything is possible - but only you know whether you’ve been bought.
[/quote]
Some man will have the luckiest day of his life, and that’s when he’s on one knee and you say ‘Yes!’.
Alright, I’ll go to Oprah now! 
HH
[quote]Headhunter wrote:
Some man will have the luckiest day of his life, and that’s when he’s on one knee and you say ‘Yes!’.
Alright, I’ll go to Oprah now!
HH
[/quote]
blush
Bless…!
P.S. I’ll keep this as evidence though, to show him: Here, here…see, approved by T-males!
laughs heartly
[quote]Alpha F wrote:
MaloVerde wrote:
Alpha F wrote:
orion wrote:
All right, I get it.
What I meant was captured in Zap’s answer above.
The topic is sexual betrayal - duplicity.
Of course you mustn’t live FOR anyone. That erases you completely and reduces you to a doormat - she would definetely NOT respect you.
You can still have all your dreams and hobbies and live in the persuit of them but does that mean splitting your sexaul life between two women?
Unless you are sharing yourself sexualy with your fish or fishing partners I don’t think your wife cares nor would she want/need to tag along. ; )
Your body (vehiacle of sexual expression) is wholy for her pleasure alone as her body is wholy for YOUR pleasure ALONE.
I meant sexual integrity.
I’m sure she has male friends as you have female friends that you spend time with but to share your body sexualy with these causes a split in that your body/her body was once a means of pleasure for her/you only - which made you one with her and her one with you.
When you break the sexual bond and split yourself between two partners that means your sexual circumnstances KEEP CHANGING/SWINGING between entirely different people, that to me is akin to a sexual schitzophrenia.
I’m not denying it isn’t pleasurable but, to ME, and this is only one of many perceptions - it is like splitting and living in parallel universes without fully inhabiting either one.
I, personally, would feel “crazied” but, hey, maybe that’s what all the fuss is about! ; )
P.S. I’m an idealist, don’t take me too seriously!
[/quote]
Alpha, good post. You clarified by refining your arguement to sex. I was thinking a little off topic.
[quote]dranon wrote:
I have a good friend who has a married girl friend on the side. They meet pretty much just for sex. They meet because that need is not fulfilled in their mariage. [/quote]
Wasn’t there a hit song echoing the same sentiments:
“I didn’t think about my lady. I know that sounds kind of mean. But me and my old lady. Have fallen into the same old dull routine”
Honestly, it’s comical to me that many of you sound surprised by this arrangement. Why do you think websites like ashleymadison.com are so popular and receive so much press?
I personally know of two ongoing arrangements like this at the moment, and although neither case involves close friends, I’m pretty sure the innocent spouse in one of the cases is fully aware of the affair. People stay in dissatisfying relationships for boatloads of reasons. I stopped trying to figure it out a long time ago.
Christ. If you can’t enjoy spending a significant amount of your time with your wife and kids, and don’t share any interests or mutually shared goals and dreams, then yes, you should probably not get married or have any kids. This, of course, does not mean spending every waking minute with them or that you can’t have independent interests and some time to yourself.
[quote]jsbrook wrote:
It is my personal belief that human beings are not biologically meant to be a monogamous. Rather, it’s a gift we give to our partners. Soemthing that we can give. A sacrifice we make because we love them so much.
More like those that cheat with abandon and no qualms have never been lucky enough to find a women that’s hot enough, sexually stimulating, and mentally interesting enough to stay faithful too. Kinda sad.[/quote]
I like the way you think, JSB.
[quote]SBB wrote:
dranon wrote:
I have a good friend who has a married girl friend on the side. They meet pretty much just for sex. They meet because that need is not fulfilled in their mariage.
Wasn’t there a hit song echoing the same sentiments:
“I didn’t think about my lady. I know that sounds kind of mean. But me and my old lady. Have fallen into the same old dull routine”
Honestly, it’s comical to me that many of you sound surprised by this arrangement. Why do you think websites like ashleymadison.com are so popular and receive so much press?
I personally know of two ongoing arrangements like this at the moment, and although neither case involves close friends, I’m pretty sure the innocent spouse in one of the cases is fully aware of the affair. People stay in dissatisfying relationships for boatloads of reasons. I stopped trying to figure it out a long time ago.
[/quote]
I don’t think anyone’s surprised at it or would deny that it’s not fairly common. I think the surprise is at people who are actually defending it.
[quote]pushharder wrote:
MaloVerde wrote:
Alpha F wrote:
orion wrote:
Simple answer. No. Don’t you have friends and hobbies? Yes. I want my own hobbies and I want my wife to have hers. Kids too, they need alone time to do kid things. Sure. Of course.
I fish and don’t want my wife there. Sometimes I want her there. Sometimes not. But I’d much rather have her with me than without. The man who excludes his wife from his hobbies is not as happy as the one who doesn’t. Trust me. I have 23 years of marriage to the same woman backing me up on this one. I have friends who have the mutually exclusive hobby/friend thing like you mention. I wouldn’t trade places with them for a second. And I KNOW they would trade places with me.
Probably got everything to do with whether she’s your best friend or not. Mine is. She shops and I don’t want to go with her. Yi. Yi. Yi. That’s a toughie. You just have to be creative and find fun things to do while shopping that are mutually beneficial. (Can elaborate if need be but even with the fun things, I admit, the shopping thing is better left to her and her alone, [smile])
I live WITH my family, not FOR them. This says a lot about your situation and the situation of many. Have a fun life and check back with us in 20 - 30 years. We’ll tally up scores of How-Satisfied-I-Am-With-My-Life.
…
Come on Alpha F, after so many good posts, I don’t think you thought this one through.
My impression is she thought it through very well.
[/quote]
You spend every waking moment with your wife? That’s great…for you. I can almost guarantee that you are not the norm. I have two kids, 11 and 2 years old. I go to piano recitals, go to soccer and basketball games, watch the same Disney movies 500 times over and travel frequently with my wife.
But what does that have to with the price of tea in China? I still need time away to grow as a person. How do you continue to bring fresh conversation to your family if all you do is interact with only them?
For years longer than I have known my wife, my father and I have gone to every SDSU football game each season. That’s our time and I don’t feel the need to include my wife or kids. I fish, sometimes alone, sometime with my buddies. Men need to spend alone time with other men to bond and vent. (No broke-back stuff)
Congratulations on limiting the new experiences that you and your wife COULD have had. Get back to me in 20 to 30 years when you are saying to yourself, “what could have been”.
And there is no way that there is anything mutually beneficial about me going shopping with my wife. Period.
[quote]SBB wrote:
jsbrook wrote:
It is my personal belief that human beings are not biologically meant to be a monogamous. Rather, it’s a gift we give to our partners. Soemthing that we can give. A sacrifice we make because we love them so much.
More like those that cheat with abandon and no qualms have never been lucky enough to find a women that’s hot enough, sexually stimulating, and mentally interesting enough to stay faithful too. Kinda sad.
I like the way you think, JSB.
[/quote]
Hehe. Thanks
[quote]SBB wrote:
dranon wrote:
I have a good friend who has a married girl friend on the side. They meet pretty much just for sex. They meet because that need is not fulfilled in their mariage.
Wasn’t there a hit song echoing the same sentiments:
“I didn’t think about my lady. I know that sounds kind of mean. But me and my old lady. Have fallen into the same old dull routine”
Honestly, it’s comical to me that many of you sound surprised by this arrangement. Why do you think websites like ashleymadison.com are so popular and receive so much press?
I personally know of two ongoing arrangements like this at the moment, and although neither case involves close friends, I’m pretty sure the innocent spouse in one of the cases is fully aware of the affair. People stay in dissatisfying relationships for boatloads of reasons. I stopped trying to figure it out a long time ago.
[/quote]
I don’t think anyone on here is “surprised” by the arrangment. Similarly, I’m fairly certain we all know that it goes on a lot. That’s not what’s been debated thus far. Rather the debate over the last several pages has been on whether or not infidelity is justifiable under any circumstances. Some people have argued that it’s ok in some instances, while some of us have argued that it is never defensible.
DB
[quote]jsbrook wrote:
I don’t think anyone’s surprised at it or would deny that it’s not fairly common. I think the surprise is at people who are actually defending it.[/quote]
I should’ve been clearer. My opinion is that spouses being cheated on are often in the know in these types of ongoing affairs or string of affairs but choose to stay in their relationships for various reasons (a la Hillary). In those cases, they take at least partial responsibility for accepting/justifying the infidelity, whether they agree with it and whether they feel they have no alternative.
That isn’t to say that’s the case with dranon’s friend whose wife apparentely doesn’t know. However, spouses aren’t always getting as duped as it may appear. It’s been an eye opener for me over the past few years to learn how many unique spoken AND unspoken agreements a lot of couples have that seem strange to an outsider, me included. In these cases, who’s to say what is justifiable or defensible? Is the cheater always a scum bag? I don’t know; it’s obviously working for both spouses on certain levels if they’re staying together.
And no, I’m not saying that all spouses are aware of infidelity (they’re absolutely not) nor that non-cheating spouses are to blame (they’re absolutely not). Getting back to this thread’s title, we all know of a lot of prominent, “brilliant” cheaters whose spouses have stuck with them and have even forced togetherness for their own benefit. Real people do this too.
[quote]pushharder wrote:
As far as shopping with the wife…you could get (or rather she) quite the injection of spice from time to time by following her into the dressing room at the clothing store and…whoopeeing it up. And if THAT isn’t “mutually beneficial”, I don’t know what is.[/quote]
This is just what I was waiting for. I will implement it immediately.