Bouncers: Craziest Beatdown/Situation?

Off Topic
21

[quote]Beowulf66 wrote:
Everyone that has bounced knows that women fighting are THE WORST. Much more difficult than men in almost all aspects, many people established that in the last thread. Last weekend there were two women who apparently hated eachother (she stole my boyfriend, she’s a slut, the usual woman crap) and they have a few words. Well we separate them, because it wasn’t too bad, and they went to different ends of the bar for a while.

A few hours later it’s getting pretty busy, and these two decide it’s time to finish what they started. So one throws a beer at the other and they’re off fighting. Me and another bouncer each grab one, politely mind you;bear hug from behind, nothing inappropriate, no touching, and separate them a little. Well they both turn and try to take out their aggression on us, scratching, hair pulling, you know typical women crap.

Our cocktail waitress, who is smokin hot, and unbeknownest to anyone apparently a weightlifter of some kind, sees this going on and comes over to help. She comes over to the situation and botch of the women (who are still relatively close) try to claw at her and slap her when she says to leave the bar. Well, The cocktail didn’t take that shit. She turns to the one i’m holding and just cold-cocks her right in the face. I mean a nice gush of blood from the nose and everything. SO the other trouble maker yells “YEAH!! TAKE THAT YOU SLUT!!” yelling at her rival, when the cocktail turns and does the exact same thing to her. We threw the two out and both me and the other bouncer bought the cocktail a drink.

I don’t think I’ve ever been more turned on in my life[/quote]

I think I’d need a cold shower when I got home.

22

Next Story.

I head into the men’s bathroom one evening for my usual check to ensure everything is relatively clean and in order and notice that one of our toilets is clogged. Now the word “clogged” might be a bit of an understatement as this puppy is full of fluids and solids that have spewed from every human orfice I could think of that can evacuate. So I figure I should go get me some rubber gloves from the kitchen prior to grabbing the plunger as I can only see this going badly.

Upon my return to the bathroom I don the rubber gloves, turn around, and reach under the sink for the plunger. As I turn back toward the toilet I’ve noticed that some dimwit has decided to start pissing in it. Normally this wouldn’t be so bad except that the toilet was already at the brink, well now it’s overflowing all over the floor.

I’m pissed to say the least.

So I move up behind this guy and lean on the side of the stall entrance waiting for him to finish. I’m also kind enough to raise the plunger (which has been well used throughout the night) to about chest level.

After he finishes his business he turns around to find himself trapped in the bathroom stall with a very angry and rather large doorman. Who starts questioning his sanity, intelligence, lineage, upbringing, manners, and just about anything else I could think of. If this weren’t bad enough I’m emphasising each point by poking him in the chest with the plunger, leaving a series of rings marked on his t-shirt in various body fluids.

He obviously didn’t take kindly to this but i point out that if it’s okay to put that stuff all over my floor it’s probably okay on the front of his t-shirt too. I also point out that I’m not going to let him stay in the bar if he’s covered in shit.

He ended up walking out under his own power with a few friendly reminders from my plunger, almost got it in the face once but decided to back down and leave.

STU

23

I’ll chime in later…I have a few good ones to tell…but on my way out.

24

Woo, that sounds like a pain, to the bouncers do you guys ever question that unlikeliness of their being any good in humanity.

I also wonder how you guys deal with women, especially seeing how they believe they are immune to being hit in public and can do whatever they want to whoever they want. I loved the cocktail story, but man I would grow sick of that environment, beating off metrosexuals, beer muscles, and whores.

Anyone ever get very personal with you to the point where you felt the need to fight.

25

[quote]EmperialChina wrote:
Woo, that sounds like a pain, to the bouncers do you guys ever question that unlikeliness of their being any good in humanity.

I also wonder how you guys deal with women, especially seeing how they believe they are immune to being hit in public and can do whatever they want to whoever they want. I loved the cocktail story, but man I would grow sick of that environment, beating off metrosexuals, beer muscles, and whores.
[/quote]

You got that right, that’s why I don’t do it anymore. If you are married or have someone at home, the shit pay is just not worth the risks.

You mean, like, did they get my goat by talking shit? Never. I never brought my ego to work. Not to mention, (as I told many of them) I’d been called a lot worse by a lot better. Most of the trouble makers were pieces of shit, and that’s what I thought of them. If they didn’t comply with my directions, or if they put their hands on me, that was a different story.

26

Great reply Digital Chainsaw! I don’t blame you for leaving that environment, and I had no idea the pay was on average, low. Putting your neck out everynight can’t be too fun all the time.

I am sure if the person in question was insulting say your girlfriend there would be less restraint as you can defend yourself, but your mindset was the best to have, and I am surprised. The typical club bully never ceases to amaze me, heck bullies in general need to really see a psychologist, lol.

You must also be able to just tell by body mannerisms and characteristics who is more likely to cause trouble even before it breaks out.

27

As a doorman one of the worst things you can do is take things personally, that’s when you hurt someone and end up in jail.

I have to admit that I wouldn’t even remember what someone called me 10 minutes afterward unless it was particularely creative and I wanted to save it for later use. If you let yourself start taking things personally you’ll get upset and if you get upset you’ll make bad decisions.

Remember that as a doorman your job is to get trouble makers out of the club, not hurt them. I prefered to give everyone the chance to walk out under their own power and would escalate the force from there as necessary to ensure they left.

STU

28

[quote]Digital Chainsaw wrote:
Kayrob wrote:
I was working the door at a club a friend of mine owned taking cover charge because of the band that night. This guy comes in completely shitfaced wearing full on Spiderman outfit. The bouncers and I are laughing our asses of at him while we keep and eye on him. He keeps walking up to patrons and bothering them with all of his “hey there good citizen” Spiderman talk, so the bartender realized he was out of it. We ask him to leave and he protests saying “But I’m Spiderman!”. He eventually leaves peacefully (the guy was pretty harmless overall), then goes out to his car, takes off the costume (but forgets about the boots, and leaves those on) and tries to gain re-entry. When I told him he could not come back in, he looked at me with all seriousness and said “But, how did you know it was me?”.

Holy shit, that’s hilarious. Sometimes it is those amusing moments that keep you going during the boring nights.

While I was working the door one night, some kid handed me his ID with a picture of The Rock (giving The People’s Eyebrow, of course) taped over his. This was about 6 years ago when The Rock was first blowing up and I watched wrestling back then. I guess he figured I was a humorless hard-ass like most doormen, but I appreciate a good gag when I’m not too busy. With as serious a face as I could, I held his ID up like I was comparing it to his face and the kid turns slightly and gives me The People’s Eyebrow. I continue to look serious and ask him, “what’s your address?”

“Uh, 124…”

“IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOUR ADDRESS IS!!!”

The kid and the rest of the people he is with start laughing and I let him in. Come to think of it, I never did check his birthdate. Oh, well…
[/quote]

On a side note, the first time I ever bought beer was when I was 18 with a fake ID when I was going to School at the University of Oklahoma. The ID said I was Brian Bosworth, 4455 Sooner Rd. At the time I was 5’8 175, the ID said I was 6’4 and 230. It actually had a picture of the Boz as well.

29

OK. Here’s one for the books.

There was this one guy who was about 5 feet tall, but built like a brick shit house. We had never seen him before.

There was this quarterback (college bar) who was a regular and really cocky. Wore tight sweaters or ribbed shirts all the time, ran his mouth because he never had to back anything up because he had all his boys around him. For the most part, they kept him out of trouble because we had an understanding with them.

Anyway, for some reason, he develops an attitude about this short stocky guy and starts giving him a hard time. We throw the quarterback out because he was just being a jackass.

He stands outside the bar and taunts the guy. We are ready to head out there to make him leave the property, but before we can the other guy steamrolls out there.

The quarterback continues to act cocky and makes the mistake of putting the palm of his hand on the guys forehead as he is moving towards him, like he is a child and this is going to hold him off.

In a very fast and fluid motion the guy grabs his arm and pulls him down towards him and uppercuts him so hard his feet left the ground and we heard the hit from inside the bar.

Needless to say, the quarterback was out cold. He was hit so hard and this guy was such a cocky dumbass he had his mouth open and he damn near bit his tongue off and got his jaw broken. He bled like crazy and ended up taking an ambulance home.

The funny thing is none of his cronies wanted anything to do with the short stocky guy and basically he walked away unharmed. We never saw him again and never figured out who he was.

30

[quote]apwsearch wrote:
OK. Here’s one for the books.

There was this one guy who was about 5 feet tall, but built like a brick shit house. We had never seen him before.

There was this quarterback (college bar) who was a regular and really cocky. Wore tight sweaters or ribbed shirts all the time, ran his mouth because he never had to back anything up because he had all his boys around him. For the most part, they kept him out of trouble because we had an understanding with them.

Anyway, for some reason, he develops an attitude about this short stocky guy and starts giving him a hard time. We throw the quarterback out because he was just being a jackass.

He stands outside the bar and taunts the guy. We are ready to head out there to make him leave the property, but before we can the other guy steamrolls out there.

The quarterback continues to act cocky and makes the mistake of putting the palm of his hand on the guys forehead as he is moving towards him, like he is a child and this is going to hold him off.

In a very fast and fluid motion the guy grabs his arm and pulls him down towards him and uppercuts him so hard his feet left the ground and we heard the hit from inside the bar.

Needless to say, the quarterback was out cold. He was hit so hard and this guy was such a cocky dumbass he had his mouth open and he damn near bit his tongue off and got his jaw broken. He bled like crazy and ended up taking an ambulance home.

The funny thing is none of his cronies wanted anything to do with the short stocky guy and basically he walked away unharmed. We never saw him again and never figured out who he was.[/quote]

Sounds like it was Wolverine. If he’d have popped his claws, that guy would have been in real trouble!

31

[quote]Sturat wrote:
Next Story.

I head into the men’s bathroom one evening for my usual check to ensure everything is relatively clean and in order and notice that one of our toilets is clogged. Now the word “clogged” might be a bit of an understatement as this puppy is full of fluids and solids that have spewed from every human orfice I could think of that can evacuate. So I figure I should go get me some rubber gloves from the kitchen prior to grabbing the plunger as I can only see this going badly.

Upon my return to the bathroom I don the rubber gloves, turn around, and reach under the sink for the plunger. As I turn back toward the toilet I’ve noticed that some dimwit has decided to start pissing in it. Normally this wouldn’t be so bad except that the toilet was already at the brink, well now it’s overflowing all over the floor.

I’m pissed to say the least.

So I move up behind this guy and lean on the side of the stall entrance waiting for him to finish. I’m also kind enough to raise the plunger (which has been well used throughout the night) to about chest level.

After he finishes his business he turns around to find himself trapped in the bathroom stall with a very angry and rather large doorman. Who starts questioning his sanity, intelligence, lineage, upbringing, manners, and just about anything else I could think of. If this weren’t bad enough I’m emphasising each point by poking him in the chest with the plunger, leaving a series of rings marked on his t-shirt in various body fluids.

He obviously didn’t take kindly to this but i point out that if it’s okay to put that stuff all over my floor it’s probably okay on the front of his t-shirt too. I also point out that I’m not going to let him stay in the bar if he’s covered in shit.

He ended up walking out under his own power with a few friendly reminders from my plunger, almost got it in the face once but decided to back down and leave.

STU[/quote]

Please tell me he had a white or light-colored shirt on! You could have made a series of five interlocking rings and asked him if he was in the Shit-lympics.

If the guy is a regular, you should get the word out about this story to all of the staff and bar regulars and have everyone call him something like “Ringmaster”, or “Poo Shirt” when he’s in the club. Wish I could have been there.

32

[quote]Sturat wrote:
As a doorman one of the worst things you can do is take things personally, that’s when you hurt someone and end up in jail.

I have to admit that I wouldn’t even remember what someone called me 10 minutes afterward unless it was particularely creative and I wanted to save it for later use. If you let yourself start taking things personally you’ll get upset and if you get upset you’ll make bad decisions.

Remember that as a doorman your job is to get trouble makers out of the club, not hurt them. I prefered to give everyone the chance to walk out under their own power and would escalate the force from there as necessary to ensure they left.

STU[/quote]

Hell, where were you when I needed a good doorman? I’ve seen a lot and you sound like one of the rare true professionals out there. Good job.

33

[quote]EmperialChina wrote:
Great reply Digital Chainsaw! I don’t blame you for leaving that environment, and I had no idea the pay was on average, low. Putting your neck out everynight can’t be too fun all the time.[/quote]

Well, in my area, it’s something like $10 an hour, which is pretty shitty considering what is being asked of you. The problem is, very few club owners will pay any more than the bare minimum they can get away with, because they can always find some big gorilla who will work for $8-10 an hour. Most club owners aren’t too bright from what I’ve found, and don’t see the connection between quality staff and quality clientele.

Also, security payroll is usually their biggest payout with no on-the-books return. That is, you can’t prove how much money was saved because your crew broke up a fight with minimum fanfare and hustled the offending parties out the back door, thereby saving the room and not having patrons walk out. You also can’t prove to the owner in any real way that because you and your staff have done a good job over such-and-such a period of time, people feel safe in coming to the club and business is as good as it is partially because of your securiy team. The bottom line is the bottom line, and what bouncers get paid just does not add to it.

[quote]
I am sure if the person in question was insulting say your girlfriend there would be less restraint as you can defend yourself, but your mindset was the best to have, and I am surprised. The typical club bully never ceases to amaze me, heck bullies in general need to really see a psychologist, lol.[/quote]

LOL! My girlfriend (now my wife) I think broke the plane of the door all of three times in two years when I worked at my last place. Club chicks just don’t do it for me over the long haul. A quickie in the bathroom on my break, however…

[quote]
You must also be able to just tell by body mannerisms and characteristics who is more likely to cause trouble even before it breaks out.[/quote]

Yes, you pick this up before too long, and I always gave a crash course to new guys on my staff. In a dance club it is usually very loud so you aren’t likely to hear people arguing and you have to be able to read some signs from a distance. Example; someone slamming glassware and/or gesturing/pointing at another person. If you can get in between them before a punch is thrown, you’ve made your job 10x easier and you will keep money in your club in the form of patrons who don’t feel like they are in a prison yard staying to buy more drinks.

34

[quote]Leeuwer wrote:

So… Did she swallow?

Yes ! I told that story because it’s something of a gag [/quote]

Can’t believe I didn’t notice this pun sooner.

35

[quote]Digital Chainsaw wrote:

Hell, where were you when I needed a good doorman? I’ve seen a lot and you sound like one of the rare true professionals out there. Good job.
[/quote]

Running the door staff at another club.

I used to get rid of agressive guys fast, if you do your job right you should very rarely have to wrestle with anyone.

Even as the biggest guy there I ended up with about 1 good wrestle every 3 weeks or so, most guys just got lead out by the elbow.

I also found that hiring smaller guys to work door often worked very well as they’re less likely to try and physically intimidate people and more likely to get backup before tackling a problem. Plus they’re less intimidating so they often can talk down problems that us bigger guys can’t.

STU

36

[quote]Sturat wrote:
Digital Chainsaw wrote:

Hell, where were you when I needed a good doorman? I’ve seen a lot and you sound like one of the rare true professionals out there. Good job.

Running the door staff at another club.

I used to get rid of agressive guys fast, if you do your job right you should very rarely have to wrestle with anyone.

Even as the biggest guy there I ended up with about 1 good wrestle every 3 weeks or so, most guys just got lead out by the elbow.

I also found that hiring smaller guys to work door often worked very well as they’re less likely to try and physically intimidate people and more likely to get backup before tackling a problem. Plus they’re less intimidating so they often can talk down problems that us bigger guys can’t.

STU

[/quote]

Very true. I hired an older, ex-military guy (about 45) to work my door later in my illustrious career. He was about 6’1" with a slim but solid build and mild-mannered. I liked having him there because an older guy won’t get swayed by bimbos looking to show their tits as ID and other such nonsense that a green guy would fall for.

I also liked the fact that he could go from zero to psycho in .01 seconds. I remember walking a guy out who was doing something stupid (who can remember them all?). Got him outside, and the guy turned around to give me a piece of his mind. My doorman Frank (whom afterwards we refered to as “Crazy Frank”) steps in front of him with his shaved head and crazy eyes in the guy’s grill and yells, “GETTHEFUCKOUTOFMYDOORWAY!!!” I think the guy nearly pissed himself as he staggered back a few steps and left without ever saying a word. Good times.

37

The most fascinating thing is when friends start fighting. Not playing around, but actual punches flying.

Two guys, one arond 6’ and very well built, the other probably 6’6" and definitely over three bills. After a night of heavy drinking, one of our staff asked them to leave, because they were doing the friends one minute, ready to fight the next routine. The bigger one seemed to realize how drunk he was and headed for the door, while his friend was more stubborn. He seemed to have a rapport with me because I had spoken to him earlier in the night (sometimes it does pay to be nice), and I talked him into leaving in short order.

Once outside, the bigger fellow caught his friend with a solid right for God knows what reason, splitting him for what looked to be double digit stitches.
He then took off around the building; right into the arms of two police officers, I would later learn.

The smaller, now bloody friend proceeded to lose his mind and try to get after anyone around him. Two of us took him down, and I radioed to the doorman at the other entrance to send a cruiser around so he could be given a ride to the tank.

Apparently, I didn’t get across the gravity of the situation, as one female cop showed up, looking as though she was ready to give some drunk teenager a ride home. When she arrived and took in the scene, she pulled he taser and gave a warning.

He didn’t respond, so she gave him a short burst. I tried to get myself away from him, but I still ended up with a tingling arm for the rest of the night. Once she stopped, it was “Are you going to cooperate now, Sir?”… he wasn’t, and started to get up. Another shot from Ol’ Sparky, which seemed to last 7 or 8 seconds.

What does he do? From his knees, he turns and swings backhand at the cop, knocking her down. After this, I realized the current course of action wasn’t going to work, so I wrestled him back down while another doorman got handcuffs from the cop and restrained him. Once we walked him to the car, it took his head meeting the door frame a few times before he settled down enough for us to put him inside.

I noticed that after that night, cops tended to come around in twos, which makes more sense to me anyway.

38

Back in my college days “early eighties” took my girlfriend to one of the local clubs in Newport. I wasn’t drinking had a meet coming up " had to throw that in". Well the 6’ 4" 275 pound early twenty’s bouncer tried to pick up my girlfriend. Went over to him and asked him nicely to beat it. He asked me what was I going to do about it me being "6’tall and only 235 " I looked at him and laughed and asked my girlfriend to drink up we are leaving…

On the way out of the bar the bouncer tries to give me a shove out the door. For some reason the shove didn’t move me and he took a swing at me.

Well boys faster than you can say whoops the idiot ends up slammed on the hood of a car in front of the bar. The bouncer didn’t want to go any futher, so the girlfriend and I went home. Got one of the best bj’s in my life that night.
To complete this story I was working out in the college gym during football season and guess who walks in with his buddies " same idiot". He proceeds to the nearest bench and lift 225 for reps trying to show me how strong he is. Being a complete asshole that I am I went over to the weight bench hang cleaned it threw it ot the floor and walked away… never to be fucked with again ever…

39

Great stories guys, if like me you enjoy these stories then you can read parts of the best selling book about working as a doorman here:

http://www.geoffthompson.com/chapters/chapter_Watch_my_back_1.htm

click on the chapter links, the later chapters are where the door stories start, this is my favourite book of all time

40

[quote]Digital Chainsaw wrote:
Sturat wrote:
I used to be the head doorman at a club here in town so I’ve got plenty.

One of my favourites happened at a halloween party for the Law faculty.

Some dude dressed up as an american naval officer was assaulting one of our waitresses, now when I say assaulting I mean he had a hand up her skirt and was trying to work something. She obviously didn’t take too kindly to that and hollered for me so I came over and told him that he had to leave. With a little encouragement (nothing serious) the fellow walks himself out of the bar all the while saying “she’s a waitress she should be used to it”.

A couple of hours later I’m standing inside and off to one side of the door watching the bar and this same bozo walks in the door and past me. Now the first time I throw someone out I’m usually nice. . .the second not so much.

So I grab dumbass by the collar and the seat of his pants, turn, and run him at the door as fast as I can accelerate us. I’m about 250 and powerlifter, he’s about 200 and skinny fat. We must have hit the door (I say we but I mean he) at a pretty good clip but in the rush to chuck him I’d forgotten that it was after 2am and we’d locked the door. So I end up slamming this moron into an oak door that’s locked as hard as I can, he was a little stunned to say the least. I then reached down, pushed the handle and gave him a gentle shove out into the street.

In the commotion I accidentally ripped one of his epulets off the costume, which is around a $100 damage fine since I know the shop he got it from. I gave the waitress in question the epulet.

STU

That’s awesome! I’ve got a similar story with a twist.

One of my bouncers (I was head of security) launched a guy at the exit in exactly the fashion you described. The door had a steel push-bar running horizontally across the middle, which he figured the guy would hit and the door would open, giving the guy he was throwing out a nice konk on the noggin on the way out. What none of us knew was that the door itself was one huge pane of glass that had been opaqued on both sides by the owners when they first moved in.

So, guy hits glass with his head, glass shatters, guy keeps going due to his great momentum, hits the steel bar with his gut, flips over it head first and lands on his back on a big pile of glass on the sidewalk outside.

Now me and another bouncer have to go outside to keep the people this guy was starting shit with from stomping him into the pavement while the paramedics arrive. Pretty pussy-assed move, having to take further shots at a guy who’s laying in a pile of broken glass, bleeding, moaning, and barely conscious.[/quote]

Naw gotta disagre there with that…yes as a former bouncer. I think its a pretty pussy ass move for a big guy (like us bouncers) to use more force than necessary to remove someone that is (1) usually untrained and (2) most likely drunk. To throw or use someone as a human battering ram and this other shit I hear is the real pussy shit. It makes you a bully plain and simple. I used to work with bullies like this and they were nothing by themselves…like most bullies are. Now I’m not trying to get all sensitive on the thread here - there IS a time to get down - like when you are attacked. And I’ve gotten down plenty and I guess if I mentally masturbated enough, I’d have plenty of stories to tell. But so far, most of these stories are a bunch of bully the drunk patron pussy shit. I called everyone on it; let the flaming begin…but I bet you can’t pick me up and send me thru any door.