Bodybuilding is Ruining my life?

Off Topic
1

Bodybuilding is Ruining my life.

plain and simple.

I can’t go have fun with friends because I have to eat chicken breast and oatmeal at ____ o’clock!

Not that I have any friends left because I have to eat chicken breast and oatmeal at ____ o’clock!

I can’t go play street Basketball because it will impede my muscle recovery.

I can’t go to the bar because Alcohol will kill my Testosterone levels.

I can’t stay up late because my Cortisol levels will shoot through the roof and destroy my muscle gains.

I started Bodybuilding to become more physically attractive and enhance my life but instead it has taken OVER my life.

Ever since I started bodybuilding my social life has been nonexistent.

How can I be a great bodybuilder and still have a great social life?

What should I do?
How can I balance living a fun fulfilling life without giving up bodybuilding?

I WANT A LIFE!

2

Glad to see I am not the only one who feels this way. I wish I knew the answer to this one. Worse still is that no matter how much I tell myself to be satisfied with looking good, I never feel like I can accept where I am at. Am I ever going to win the title of Mr. Olympia…nope, and yet I still find myself thinking twice about a host of activities you think only someone looking to take down Ronnie Coleman would think twice about. I suppose the “worst” part is that at first gains come quickly and easily from the most modest of changes, but then once you’ve been at it for a while, it takes a lot more dedication to see morer results. So by the time we realize just how much effort it takes, it is too late, so to speak. Then, if you’re like me, you start thinking of time put in as an investment, and it becomes difficult to accept anything that cuts into that investment. So I suppose we either need to learn to accept slightly less than optimal gains for the sake of enjoying our lives more or just be glad we can be so single-minded and dedicated. Although it does kind of suck when you become so dedicated that you almost feel guilty for engaging in an activity you otherwise would solely enjoy. Perhaps someone else out there has the answer…if so, that person could be mighty rich one day!

3

I have a pretty good body and am physically attractive but still have a life. Looks like I’m not as strict about my diet and training as you, but you can’t have your cake and eat it too.

I mean, let’s say you went to the bar and had a few drinks a couple of times a week and played a few games of basketball. Maybe you won’t look quite as “good,” but do you really think some woman’s going to look at you and say: “I would have been interested but clearly he’s been hindering his muscle recovery by playing basketball and missed an oatmeal/chicken meal yesterday.” Yeah, probably not.

What are your stats anyway?

JMB

4

I have the same take on it. I am not that strict with my food intake and I enjoy myself. Mind you, that doesn’t mean I skip meals at all…it just means that I don’t mind stopping at a fast food place and don’t make a huge deal over a hamburger…especially when gaining. Anything I miss isn’t anything I really enjoy anway…like drinking. I can do without it. I still go out though and most of the people I know understand how I eat. It becomes a joke at times but it is what I’m about. I think those who go overboard with counting every single macronutrient should either have the bodies to justify it or loosen up a bit. I truly think many people are holding BACK their progress by being too strict with their intake.

5

I gotta agree with JMB on this one. Lifting, for me, is about leading a fuller, more enjoyable life, looking and feeling as good as I can. So, while I will forego some events that are fun for the sake of my body, I will not give up everything. What is the point of bettering my body, just for me to stay inside and not let anybody appreciate it?
That doesn’t work for me, I am constantly searching for more ammounts of high quality fun, from just shooting some hoops, to cliff jumping, and hopefully soon, skydiving.
I love lifting, even at the expense of cake, chocolate bars, partying every night. But if I had to give up everything, then I would feel less alive, not more alive. You need balance between the serious aspects of your life and what you do for pleasure.

search for what makes you happy and you will become happy, and I guarantee that you will also have a better time in the gym lifting when you return, you will feel pumped up because your entire body will be ready, mind, muscle and spirit.

-Dave

6

I agree with Dave. It almost sounds like body building has become unhealthy for you in terms of mind and spirit. What are those big, strong muscles you’ve been building good for if not to make you a better athlete. Perhaps the local charity center could use a good strong arm once in awhile. Do you spend alot of time doing functional strength exercises? Good, what’s your function? I bet the local youth football program could use a coach or assistan coach. I can tell you from experience that unless your actually preparing for a contest or something you won’t even notice a slice of pizza once in a great while. Studies show that limited alcohol consumption can be good for you and I’ll bet there’s a woman out there that would be quite satisfied with you as you are but still encourage you to be better. I’ve been where you are and though it didn’t almost ruin my life, it did almost ruin my wife’s life. Again as Dave aluded to, you’ve got to have balance in your life or the things you enjoy most will become(or has become) most unenjoyable.

7

You can be a body builder, and still live a pretty normal life, it just requires a little more planning and preperation. I still go to parties, night clubs, hang out with my friends, go on vacation, etc. I just plan out everything before I do it. Before I go somewhere, I make sure to pack food into sandwhich bags and take them with me. I end up eating cold chicken breasts a lot of the time, which isn’t ideal since I prefer to eat food hot, but I’m atleast getting my protein and still having a good time. When I go to parties on weekends, I leave around 1:00-1:30, which isn’t to bad. Then I sleep in until 9:00 the next day. People look at me funny when I whip out a bag of carrots, or almonds, or a chicken breast, but I don’t let that bother me. When I go to night clubs, I bring an MRP with me, chug it down before I go in, buy a couple bottles of water while I’m in there instead of beer of shots. Then when I come home after, I drink another protein shake, take my fish oil and go to bed.

As another example, two girls asked me to go to the beach with them tomorrow. What I’m going to do is, get up at 7:00, eat, take my supplements, go workout, eat my post workout meal. pack all my food which I have already made, then head to the beach with them around noon. We have about a 45 minute drive to Santa Cruz. When I get there I’m going to eat a cold chicken breast with some almonds. Then I’m going to boogy board for a while, eat again, go ride some rides. Eat again, take them for a romantic walk along the beach, eat again. Then go home. It only takes me about 15 minutes to eat one of my little meals, so it isn’t a huge burden or anything.

8

[quote]American Muscle wrote:
You can be a body builder, and still live a pretty normal life, it just requires a little more planning and preperation. I still go to parties, night clubs, hang out with my friends, go on vacation, etc. I just plan out everything before I do it. Before I go somewhere, I make sure to pack food into sandwhich bags and take them with me. I end up eating cold chicken breasts a lot of the time, which isn’t ideal since I prefer to eat food hot, but I’m atleast getting my protein and still having a good time. When I go to parties on weekends, I leave around 1:00-1:30, which isn’t to bad. Then I sleep in until 9:00 the next day. People look at me funny when I whip out a bag of carrots, or almonds, or a chicken breast, but I don’t let that bother me. When I go to night clubs, I bring an MRP with me, chug it down before I go in, buy a couple bottles of water while I’m in there instead of beer of shots. Then when I come home after, I drink another protein shake, take my fish oil and go to bed.

As another example, two girls asked me to go to the beach with them tomorrow. What I’m going to do is, get up at 7:00, eat, take my supplements, go workout, eat my post workout meal. pack all my food which I have already made, then head to the beach with them around noon. We have about a 45 minute drive to Santa Cruz. When I get there I’m going to eat a cold chicken breast with some almonds. Then I’m going to boogy board for a while, eat again, go ride some rides. Eat again, take them for a romantic walk along the beach, eat again. Then go home. It only takes me about 15 minutes to eat one of my little meals, so it isn’t a huge burden or anything.

[/quote]

Read this once more and tell me that this isnt insane. Seriously you guys, Im starting to take things a little seriously too myself, and I dont even have 15" arms to show for it, and I can get seriously depressed about it at times. I know I cant stop it either. I dont know what to do. Although like AmericanMuscle, I do alot of these things, it takes away from a lot of my time to do something productive like study a foreign language (what I really wanna do), or just go out with your friends for a few hours. I dont know what to do…and yes…Im asking for all of your help. I dont have the genetics for this to just randomly work either. Im 21 years old, a senior in college, and its killing me here to sit here and do this instead of have fun. If you asked me what fun is right now, I would probably tell you that its anything that helps lead to my progress in fat-loss at the moment, and come November, Im gonna say anything that helps aid in muscle gain.

Where do I draw the line here? Ive already stopped drinking (thats not actually that bad), but I eat 7 or so times a day, and I cook almost all of my meals, since I calorie/carb taper…yadayadayada.

Does anyone out there have a feasible solution?

9

Totoroski-

Looks like you’re already bilingual if you go to school in Japan, right? Are you Japanese or just studying there?

JMB

10

Honestly, if you’re not happy doing it, don’t do it. Or do it moderately at least.

I only ate 3 meals yesterday but had a blast going to the beach, playing volleyball, drinking with my friends, and chasing skirts at the bar. So I’m 8% bf instead of 6% at 220lbs, woopdy shit. Chicks don’t like freaks anyways. Getting HUGE is just to impress other guys anyways, and why is that so important?

11

[quote]Totoroski wrote:
Read this once more and tell me that this isnt insane. Seriously you guys, Im starting to take things a little seriously too myself, and I dont even have 15" arms to show for it, and I can get seriously depressed about it at times. I know I cant stop it either. [/quote]

If your arms aren’t even 15", exactly what are you doing that takes up so much of your time that makes it this painful? I remember going to the gym in college, which took all of one hour, and then trying to get at least 5 meals a day down. That didn’t take up all of my time like that. I had a full load of classes on top of that which took priority. “Too seriously” is acting as if you are about to compete when your arms barely break “average”. At times like that, it is time to take a step back. WHY are you taking that much time daily? What kinds of gains are you seeing to warrant this? How much weight have you gained in the past month? I am really expecting to hear some huge numbers on this to justify all of the time you seem to spend on this effort. Even now, if I am dieting and cooking my meals for the next day, that still doesn’t take more than an hour. I did this all of the way through school and it was never as much of a burden as some of you are making this seem. Maybe you alone are making this too complicated. Unless you are about to step on stage and have each meal mapped out for specific results, you are the reason this has taken control of your life and there is no one else to blame for that. It doesn’t take that much effort to see great progress in bodybuilding. For one, it first takes a decent genetic base. The rest comes from training consistantly which doesn’t take more than 45min to an hour a day. What makes it more difficult is trying to make this harder than it really is by being too strict in your diet and training. That doesn’t mean that if you don’t have great genetics that you shouldn’t try. It does mean that you work with what you have and simply work at making yourself better. If you ahve lost your indentity that easily in this, maybe you didn’t really know who you were to begin with.

12

Here’s a suggestion, this is what i do:

If your main concern is nutrition on weekends because you’re going to bars and parties, organize your training split differently. I lift sunday, and either tuesday and wednesday, or wed and thursday (one upper body, one lower, and one both). This way, by the time the weekend rolls around, your muscles have pretty much rebuilt themselves so you’re just on maintenance.

A 5 hour fast while you can’t get any food once or twice a week isn’t going to kill your gains.

13

The solution is… don’t let it take over your life. Don’t let yourself get caught up in all the minute details.

You have to balance bodybuilding, like you would anything else in your life. Just make sure you eat well and lift regularly following whatever routine you use. You don’t need to have 16" arms, you don’t need 6% BF and you don’t need scheduled chicken breast feedings.

And remember, your muscles aren’t going to keep you company when you’re lonely because you have no social life.

14

fedorov91, if you are a professional bb then your life will be similar to the majority of Olympics athletes. I guess that they have a little social life as well. If you are an amateur bb, I think it is possible to have a good physique without living as a monk. It’s a matter of organization.

15

Yeah…unless you are going to make bodybuilding your life (ie competitions non-stop or something) I would relax a lot. Still lift, still eat healthy but relax. Fretting over perceived cases of muscular atrophy due to missing a meal will not change anything. Besides, all of this x meal at x time shit is an artificial modern construct anyway. What did the badasses of old do? I don’t mean the guys from the 50’s I mean the warriors of ancient days like Roman soldiers, Greek soldiers, African warriors, Native American horsemen, the Mongols etc etc. I am sure that they did not have the time to eat little teeny weeny meals every 3 fucking hours. Pit any of us here against a Mongol badass and I have no doubt of who would win…

What I am trying to say is that focus more on actual work in the gym and eat breakfast, a snack before lunch, lunch, snack before dinner, and then dinner and you will have 5 meals. hell, add a a snack after dinner and you have six meals! Get creative! Order a grilled chicken sandwich at a fast food place and take off the bread, add a side salad, and a bottle of water and voila! you have a somehwat decent meal. You could even pop a few fish oil capsules with it!

what I am trying to say here is…Do as they did in the days of yore and…

             ADAPT!
16

My problem is that I am a perfectionist when it comes to my meals and feedings.

If I can’t get exactly X number of calories and protein in a meal I feel guilty.

How can I overcome guilt.

I haven’t cheated on my diet since my birthday in May.

How can I cheat, & live without feeling guilty?

17

Just relax. Go to the gym and do what you like. For meals just eat alot of meat and vegetables. You will make better progress this way than worring about trying to find and do the perfect program or keep the perfect diet (there is no perfect program/diet btw).

18

Fedorov,
Guilt is a state of mind.
Just don’t think about it.
Be reasonable with yourself.
You are being a harsh taskmaster to yourself, and that ain’t nice.

19

[quote]fedorov91 wrote:

I haven’t cheated on my diet since my birthday in May.
[/quote]

And how do you look as a result of this? Are you dieting for a contest? WHY are you this strict? Does your progress reflect this? Is this your only goal in life? What about education? Family? Your career?

20

fedorov91:

I think you have a choice to make! You can either continue this absurd lifestyle, or you can drop it and actually be happy.

What is it that we all want in life? We lift weights in order to have a better body because it’s supposed to make us happy, right?

Why continue with something that is obviously making you miserable? Are you doing it for bigger muscles? What a joke! Do you think it honestly matters in the scheme of things whether you have a 17" or 19" arm? Do you really think it matters if you can squat 300lbs. or 500lbs.? You need to take a step back, as you have done with your post, and ask yourself what life is all about.

Life is about having healthy relationships. A girlfriend (or wife) you can spend time with and appreciate. Good friends you can hang out with and share your feelings. A career that gives you pleasure and makes you enough money.

Don’t get further caught up in the sick world of body building (yes it has become sick over the years, more on that another time)! I know that many dedicate their lives to the body building lifestyle, and if they love it, no problem. However, I think you are smart enough to realize that when something takes over your life it is no longer a recreation, it becomes your master, and you are the slave!

My advice: Keep lifting weights as it’s great for you. However, drop the obsession! When you want a bowl of ice cream have it. When your friends want to play some basketball, be the first to join in. If you want to stay up late on the weekend do it.

In short, live your life in a healthy manner and drop your obsession, because it isn’t worth it! If you don’t, you might one day look back on the life you could have had and become very sad.