[quote]rbnlaw wrote:
Pamela before or after the Hep C?
[/quote]
Who cares, it’s still Pamela.
A little Hep C is good for ya once in a while…
Why do they call it PMS?
Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
A woman walks out of the kitchen and into the living room to yell at her husband. What did the husband do wrong?
Made her chain too long.
Oldie, but a goodie:
What did God say after Eve went swimming in a stream?
Shit, we’ll never get the smell off the fish!
Man: ?Haven?t we met before??
Woman: ?Perhaps. I?m the receptionist at the VD Clinic.?
Man: ?Haven?t I seen you someplace before?
Woman: ?Yeah, that?s why I don?t go there anymore.?
Man: ?Is this seat empty??
Woman: ?Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.?
Man: ?So, wanna go back to my place ??
Woman: ?Well, I don?t know. Will two people fit under a rock??
Man: ?Your place or mine??
Woman: ?Both. You go to yours and I?ll go to mine.?
Man: ?I?d like to call you. What?s your number??
Woman: ?It?s in the phone book.?
Man: ?But I don?t know your name.?
Woman: ?That?s in the phone book too.?
Man: ?So what do you do for a living??
Woman: ?I?m a female impersonator.?
Man: ?Hey, baby, what?s your sign??
Woman: ?Do not Enter?
Man: ?How do you like your eggs in the morning??
Woman: ?Unfertilized !?
Man: ?Hey, come on, we?re both here at this bar for the same reason?
Woman: ?Yeah! Let?s pick up some girls!?
Man: ?I know how to please a woman.?
Woman: ?Then please leave me alone.?
Man: ?I want to give myself to you.?
Woman: ?Sorry, I don?t accept cheap gifts.?
Man: ?If I could see you naked, I?d die happy:
Woman: ?Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I?d probably die laughing?.
Man: ?Your body is like a temple.?
Woman: ?Sorry, there are no services today.?
Man: ?I?d go through anything for you.?
Woman: ?Good! Let?s start with your bank account.?
Man: ?I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: ?Yes, but would you stay there?
from Birminghamuk.com
Why did cavemen pull their women around by their hair?
Because if they pulled them around by their feet, they’d fill up with mud.
Why do women have arms?
Do you know how long it would take to LICK a bathroom clean?
There are only two things wrong with women:
- Everything they say.
- Everything they do.
What’s worse than a male chauvinist pig?
A woman who won’t do what she’s told.
What’s the worst part of getting a sex change from male to female?
When they take out the brain.
these last 4 or 5 are from morbidementia.com
What was the smartest thing to ever come out of woman’s mouth?
Einstein’s dick.
[quote]derek wrote:
Why do women have arms?
Do you know how long it would take to LICK a bathroom clean?
[/quote]
Hahahahhahahhaahhahaa
[quote]dogwitch wrote:
Why does it take women longer to get off then men?
Who cares?[/quote]
Best one on the thread.
A woman come into a pet store looking for a pet.
Storeclerk: Are you looking for anything in particular?
Woman: Yes, I’m away often and I’m looking for a pet to keep my husband company.
Storeclerk: Well, I have the right animal for you. This here frog can give heavenly blow jobs.
The woman, thinking about how she hates giving head, buys it immediatly.
Once she’s home, she says: look honey, I bought you a gift. No only will this frog keep you company when I’m gone, but it can give head like no one can. Don’t you want to try it right now?
The husband, teary-eyed, take the frog with shaking hands, go to his room and lock the door.
A few hours later, the woman hears some noise in the kitchen. When she goes to inquire about it, she sees her husband and the frog in the middle of meal preparation, with ingredients strewn over the counter. Puzzled, she asks him what he’s doing.
He answers: I’m showing the frog how to cook, and once it’s done, you get the f**k out of here!!
[quote]Zen warrior wrote:
He answers: I’m showing the frog how to cook, and once it’s done, you get the f**k out of here!![/quote]
AHAHAHAHAHA! Brilliant.
Similar to a previous one:
Why do women fake orgasms?
Cause they think we care.
What do you call an anorexic woman with a yeast infection?
A quarter pounder with cheese
I got a joke, women’s rights.
[quote]hollawk wrote:
What do you call an anorexic woman with a yeast infection?
A quarter pounder with cheese[/quote]
oh jesus ive heard this one before