A man walks into a bar. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart.
[quote]ElbowStrike wrote:
A man walks into a bar. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart.[/quote]
LOL!
Your mom is so fat, that her rampant insulin levels will soon cause diabetes, and eventually a life-altering amputation that will leave her utterly dependent on you for care - until she finally dies of a heart attack, and 2 weeks later, you are alerted by the neighbors of a horrible stench caused by her decomposing body.
You’re so Ugly you will never attract a mate, making your existence genetically irrelevant.
Man walks into a Bar.
Orders drink.
Consumes Drink.
Leaves Bar.
Why did the Chicken cross the Road?
Because the road intersected with the chickens chosen path.
you sick fucks…
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and three bags of groceries?
.
.
.
.
.
.
The bags hold groceries.
Michael Jackson molests children.
Wife comes home from work early to find her husband in bed with another woman. They are also Mormon.
To continue on the MJ thread:
What’s the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
Neil Armstrong walks on the moon.
Michael Jackson fucks little kids.
Knock knock
Who’se there?
Me
Oh hey, come in.
Obama is going to be president.
wait, ANTI joke. Withdrawn.
What do you say to a Rape victim?
“Be thankful you’re not a Murder victim”.
I have a large breakfast each morning.
hey, it’s NOT a joke. I really do.
[quote]TYR wrote:
To continue on the MJ thread:
What’s the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?
Neil Armstrong walks on the moon.
Michael Jackson fucks little kids.[/quote]
false.
michael jackson also walks on the moon.
A rabbi, a priest and a minister walk into a bar.
The rabbi says “What a coincidence that three offical representatives of different faiths should all find themselves in an alcohol-dispensing establishment at the same time.”
The priest says “True, that.”
The ministers says “Agreed.”
no one likes you.
people say bad things about you when you leave the room.
you will die alone.
10 points if you get the ATHF reference.
[quote]miroku333 wrote:
no one likes you.
people say bad things about you when you leave the room.
you will die alone.
10 points if you get the ATHF reference.[/quote]
{Shakezilla!}
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
It’s a subpoena.
Crap
- I was walking down the street the other day when this bum comes up to me and says he hasn’t had a bite in three days.
- So I stabbed him.
Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs away. One cow looks round a bit, eats some grass and then wanders off.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was DEAD!!!
Why do women wear makeup and perfume?
Because they are ugly and they smell bad.