Big D*ck Inferiority Complex

Off Topic
482

[quote]nephorm wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Yes. Terrible, unbearable things can also happen to nice people.

I do think that the odds of nice things happening, at least nice things of this sort, are more likely for nice people.

On the other hand, maybe this nice young couple is being set up to take some sort of cosmic fall. I hope not.[/quote]

The general question is older than Socratic philosophy.

For the specific question of attraction, I don’t think being “nice” has much to do with anything, to be honest, except in rare and extreme cases.

My point is just that concentrating on the “nice” quality isn’t helpful, other than to rebut the extreme view that being a decent human being precludes a man from attracting women.[/quote]

I think you conflate “nice” with “passive.” I agree that attraction (sexiness) is made up of qualities that are separate from niceness, or the lack of it. Foolish people mistake sexy for good, while wise people look for additional qualities in the people they find sexy/attractive, among them “nice.” I think Steel Nation is right when he says “He could be quite confident and dominant with her as well.” I don’t see sexual dominance from the outside, but I do see confidence and certainty about things outside of their romantic relationship. I also know that “pretty” was not what fully captivated him; he’s talked about finding out she read for pleasure philosophy books he’d assumed she’d read for a class. I guess that was what sealed it for him.

I think my boyfriend is sexy as hell, but his looks give no indication of the power of his personality for me (this is the sexy part). He looks professorial, which isn’t generally considered sexy, but to me, combined with internal qualities, it is. He’s extremely bright, strong in his beliefs, and very adventurous in all sorts of ways. He’s also nice, which combined with all the other stuff makes for an awfully good boyfriend.

As orion says, a steel fist in a velvet glove, though I interpret the “steel fist” to represent strength of character rather than being uncaring or mean. Kind and caring can exist in harmony with strong and sexy. Strong and sexy do NOT need to be external qualities.

483

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:
Got to say though, I liked it because it was genuinely fair.

Seriously, a lesbian woman trying to find out what it is like to be a man and she does not arrive with a clusterfuck of conclusions, she tells it like it is, the good, the bad and the ugly.

Such an unbiased view is rare and welcome these days. [/quote]

I don’t see how anyone who believed that the average working class American man is a racist, misogynist monster while living among them can be considered unbiased or trustworthy. Stupid and prone to sweeping assumptions, I would say. She doesn’t like the other side no matter which side of the aisle she occupies. But whatever, it confirms your own biases, so rock on.

[/quote]

Oh, that is a commonly held view of the cliterati.

Dumb brutes that need to be educated by their betters.

Plus, you have not read it and yet you have an opinion.

No. [/quote]

Commonly held view of the man-haters? And this one has had a change of heart? Well, then, of course I’ll need to buy her book, wherein she discovers that there’s a problem with a whole 'nother set of people.

484

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:
Got to say though, I liked it because it was genuinely fair.

Seriously, a lesbian woman trying to find out what it is like to be a man and she does not arrive with a clusterfuck of conclusions, she tells it like it is, the good, the bad and the ugly.

Such an unbiased view is rare and welcome these days. [/quote]

I don’t see how anyone who believed that the average working class American man is a racist, misogynist monster while living among them can be considered unbiased or trustworthy. Stupid and prone to sweeping assumptions, I would say. She doesn’t like the other side no matter which side of the aisle she occupies. But whatever, it confirms your own biases, so rock on.

[/quote]

Oh, that is a commonly held view of the cliterati.

Dumb brutes that need to be educated by their betters.

Plus, you have not read it and yet you have an opinion.

No. [/quote]

Commonly held view of the man-haters? And this one has had a change of heart? Well, then, of course I’ll need to buy her book, wherein she discovers that there’s a problem with a whole 'nother set of people.[/quote]

Now you are just being petulant.

485

Wait…is there even a book? Because I did read the article you linked earlier, while I was at work. I just don’t post from there because…well, because I’m supposed to be working.

486

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Wait…is there even a book? Because I did read the article you linked earlier, while I was at work. I just don’t post from there because…well, because I’m supposed to be working.

[/quote]

Ja, there totally is!

487

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
I think you conflate “nice” with “passive.” I agree that attraction (sexiness) is made up of qualities that are separate from niceness, or the lack of it. Foolish people mistake sexy for good, while wise people look for additional qualities in the people they find sexy/attractive, among them “nice.” I think Steel Nation is right when he says “He could be quite confident and dominant with her as well.” I don’t see sexual dominance from the outside, but I do see confidence and certainty about things outside of their romantic relationship. I also know that “pretty” was not what fully captivated him; he’s talked about finding out she read for pleasure philosophy books he’d assumed she’d read for a class. I guess that was what sealed it for him.
[/quote]

I think we agree. I don’t think I’m conflating “nice” with “passive;” that’s why I restated it as being a “decent human being.” If I had meant passive, I would’ve argued that passivity in men would negatively affect attraction.

A lot of men have been raised to think that being a good person is enough, and that women are going to respond to that. And you have all of these bitter, so-called “nice guys” who think that sex is the reward for being decent, all the while blind to their own misogyny and sense of entitlement. I don’t know if bitterness made their latent misogyny manifest, or if it is just sour grapes.

You also have men who have remained decent, but aren’t particularly attractive or interesting. And what does one say to a friend who is experiencing that? “You are such a good guy, you are definitely going to meet someone.” Someone should say: “You are boring. You need to do X, Y, and Z before you can really hope to attract a worthwhile partner.”

488

[quote]orion wrote:
Look, you cannot outbeta your alpha.
[/quote]

I don’t know what you mean. I feel like your posts have become increasingly inscrutable, lately. This isn’t the worst example, but it is one.

[quote]
That is the reason so many guys go for utter asshole game, because they have no discernable qualities they could outalpha.

Lowest common denominator really.

If that is any consolation, you cannot land even a semi decent woman that way, the ones you can deserve it.

You can be really, really, really nice, but it better be a velvet glove over a fist of steel.[/quote]

I think I agree with you.

489

[quote]nephorm wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
I think you conflate “nice” with “passive.” I agree that attraction (sexiness) is made up of qualities that are separate from niceness, or the lack of it. Foolish people mistake sexy for good, while wise people look for additional qualities in the people they find sexy/attractive, among them “nice.” I think Steel Nation is right when he says “He could be quite confident and dominant with her as well.” I don’t see sexual dominance from the outside, but I do see confidence and certainty about things outside of their romantic relationship. I also know that “pretty” was not what fully captivated him; he’s talked about finding out she read for pleasure philosophy books he’d assumed she’d read for a class. I guess that was what sealed it for him.
[/quote]

I think we agree. I don’t think I’m conflating “nice” with “passive;” that’s why I restated it as being a “decent human being.” If I had meant passive, I would’ve argued that passivity in men would negatively affect attraction.

A lot of men have been raised to think that being a good person is enough, and that women are going to respond to that. And you have all of these bitter, so-called “nice guys” who think that sex is the reward for being decent, all the while blind to their own misogyny and sense of entitlement. I don’t know if bitterness made their latent misogyny manifest, or if it is just sour grapes.

You also have men who have remained decent, but aren’t particularly attractive or interesting. And what does one say to a friend who is experiencing that? “You are such a good guy, you are definitely going to meet someone.” Someone should say: “You are boring. You need to do X, Y, and Z before you can really hope to attract a worthwhile partner.” [/quote]

You know, that misogyny and sense of entitlement that “nice guys” had…

That was promised to us. If we achieved and played nice we would get a good woman.

The very same people who condemned us for expecting a certain result promised it.

I wont stand for this “entitlement” shit, those were the rules for centuries until women reneged and hoped that we would stay blind to it.

That actually worked for a while.

You know that Aristotle had a counter vice to misogyny, that would be philogyny.

Look up uxoriousness.

490

[quote]nephorm wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:
Look, you cannot outbeta your alpha.
[/quote]

I don’t know what you mean. I feel like your posts have become increasingly inscrutable, lately. This isn’t the worst example, but it is one.

[quote]
That is the reason so many guys go for utter asshole game, because they have no discernable qualities they could outalpha.

Lowest common denominator really.

If that is any consolation, you cannot land even a semi decent woman that way, the ones you can deserve it.

You can be really, really, really nice, but it better be a velvet glove over a fist of steel.[/quote]

I think I agree with you.[/quote]

You know… if I take your two comments together… I am confused.

Am I making sense, do I not ?

WHat is it?

492

How old do you have to be before you stop whining about girls not liking you. Actually getting up and doing something about a problem instead of whining about it is a masculine trait where I come from. Just bitching about it, not changing anything and hoping for different results is the exact opposite of being a man.

Stop worrying about what women think of you, get out and make yourself better then maybe you can attract someone worthwhile. Is there anything more beta than being a victim. Man-up and get over the “people arent treating me fairly” complex.

493

[quote]bpick86 wrote:
How old do you have to be before you stop whining about girls not liking you. Actually getting up and doing something about a problem instead of whining about it is a masculine trait where I come from. Just bitching about it, not changing anything and hoping for different results is the exact opposite of being a man.

Stop worrying about what women think of you, get out and make yourself better then maybe you can attract someone worthwhile. Is there anything more beta than being a victim. Man-up and get over the “people arent treating me fairly” complex. [/quote]

Roosh is right that you do not become disillusioned by girls if you have no success with them, you become disillusioned if you do, because you know why exactly.

You want me in gaybitterlivinginMomsbasement corner, while its more serious than that.

I am in the holy shit what is this clusterfuck corner, all these broads are damaged goods and I owe it to myself to find the best possible mother of my children that I possibly can.

Now you could say, women are that way these days, deal with it, to which the only possible answer is a resounding NO.

494

[quote]orion wrote:
Many of my dates - even the more passive ones - did most of the talking. I listened to them talk literally for hours about the most minute, mind-numbing details of their personal lives; men they were still in love with, men they had divorced, roommates and co-workers they hated, childhoods they were loath to remember yet somehow found the energy to recount ad nauseam. Listening to them was like undergoing a slow frontal lobotomy.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2006/mar/18/gender.bookextracts[/quote]

Why would you sit there and listen to bullshit you don’t need or want to hear? Overtly change the subject (“I don’t care to talk about your exes/dad raping you/etc” then introduce new topic that is consistent with your frame). If that doesn’t work after one or two tries, you ditch the bitch. Anything else means you are following her lead, and that is destined for failure.

Sitting there quietly while she rambles about her ex bf is a pretty clear DLV (display of low value). Her even bringing up exes at any length on a first/second date is a shit test, which you are failing.

So you are failing to find adequate companionship for good reason, and I’m surprised you haven’t figured this out already. Your game needs work. The women aren’t the problem.

EDIT: Nevermind orion, apparently I misunderstood the context of your post. My apologies.

495

[quote]Steel Nation wrote:

Why would you sit there and listen to bullshit you don’t need or want to hear? [/quote]

Shit, I don’t know about you, but most of the people talking through most of the day are saying bullshit I don’t want or need to hear.

496

[quote]Steel Nation wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:
Many of my dates - even the more passive ones - did most of the talking. I listened to them talk literally for hours about the most minute, mind-numbing details of their personal lives; men they were still in love with, men they had divorced, roommates and co-workers they hated, childhoods they were loath to remember yet somehow found the energy to recount ad nauseam. Listening to them was like undergoing a slow frontal lobotomy.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2006/mar/18/gender.bookextracts[/quote]

Why would you sit there and listen to bullshit you don’t need or want to hear? Overtly change the subject (“I don’t care to talk about your exes/dad raping you/etc” then introduce new topic that is consistent with your frame). If that doesn’t work after one or two tries, you ditch the bitch. Anything else means you are following her lead, and that is destined for failure.

Sitting there quietly while she rambles about her ex bf is a pretty clear DLV (display of low value). Her even bringing up exes at any length on a first/second date is a shit test, which you are failing.

So you are failing to find adequate companionship for good reason, and I’m surprised you haven’t figured this out already. Your game needs work. The women aren’t the problem.[/quote]

I believe orion was quoting the book extract from the lesbian going incognito as a man.

497

[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]Steel Nation wrote:

Why would you sit there and listen to bullshit you don’t need or want to hear? [/quote]

Shit, I don’t know about you, but most of the people talking through most of the day are saying bullshit I don’t want or need to hear.[/quote]

I work in engineering (where the personalities are as dry and boring as the work we do) and let me tell you, I know exactly what you mean.

498

[quote]Steel Nation wrote:

[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]Steel Nation wrote:

Why would you sit there and listen to bullshit you don’t need or want to hear? [/quote]

Shit, I don’t know about you, but most of the people talking through most of the day are saying bullshit I don’t want or need to hear.[/quote]

I work in engineering (where the personalities are as dry and boring as the work we do) and let me tell you, I know exactly what you mean.[/quote]

I was just trying to relate that response…because while I understand what you meant, the truth is, I find myself smiling through tears often when speaking to the average person.

The average person, male or female, can bore you to tears about their life struggles and personal insanity markers.

Starting a conversation with someone is literally about finding out what you can tolerate.

499

I absolutley cannot believe that all women are that way. The prevalance of women that are that way is much higher in certain social circles sure. You saying you look in the most exclusive places probably means that you are encountering those women at a far higher rate than normal. If you cant find a woman in the circles that you are currently looking in then try somewhere else.

I had a guy that I worked with that has been married and divorced 4 times and he met each wife in a bar. An intelligent man, which you seem to be, should deduce that you cant keep doing the same thing and expect different results. If the store you are shopping in doesnt have what you want, look somewhere else.

500

[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]Steel Nation wrote:

[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]Steel Nation wrote:

Why would you sit there and listen to bullshit you don’t need or want to hear? [/quote]

Shit, I don’t know about you, but most of the people talking through most of the day are saying bullshit I don’t want or need to hear.[/quote]

I work in engineering (where the personalities are as dry and boring as the work we do) and let me tell you, I know exactly what you mean.[/quote]

I was just trying to relate that response…because while I understand what you meant, the truth is, I find myself smiling through tears often when speaking to the average person.

The average person, male or female, can bore you to tears about their life struggles and personal insanity markers.

Starting a conversation with someone is literally about finding out what you can tolerate.[/quote]

Yeahh…

Sometimes I think I am literally just one severe head trauma away from actually being a very well adjusted person.

Than I turn on daytime television to reassure me of the fact that THAT much of an injury would most likely kill me.

501

[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]Steel Nation wrote:

[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]Steel Nation wrote:

Why would you sit there and listen to bullshit you don’t need or want to hear? [/quote]

Shit, I don’t know about you, but most of the people talking through most of the day are saying bullshit I don’t want or need to hear.[/quote]

I work in engineering (where the personalities are as dry and boring as the work we do) and let me tell you, I know exactly what you mean.[/quote]

I was just trying to relate that response…because while I understand what you meant, the truth is, I find myself smiling through tears often when speaking to the average person.

The average person, male or female, can bore you to tears about their life struggles and personal insanity markers.

Starting a conversation with someone is literally about finding out what you can tolerate.[/quote]
I completely agree with this. I do not understand why so many people think that you really care about every negative thing that happens in their lives. I have a close friend that I have started talking to less and less because he is constantly complaining about how crappy his life is. It is a chore to listen to him and I find myself fighting the urge to tell him just get over it. Shitty things happen to everyone and I cannot fathom how some people can get so caught up on the negative that they let themselves just become miserable people.