[quote]Edgy wrote:
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]doogie wrote:
I loved being a step-father. I must be have caught the beta.[/quote]
Yea I married a lady with 3 and one with special needs. Weird. I run a multi-million dollar business, lift 6 days a week and love my life.
I make this Beta thing look good. [/quote]
I have met Derek IRL, and can attest to him being decidedly NOT Beta.[/quote]
what does his hair smell like?
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]Edgy wrote:
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]doogie wrote:
I loved being a step-father. I must be have caught the beta.[/quote]
Yea I married a lady with 3 and one with special needs. Weird. I run a multi-million dollar business, lift 6 days a week and love my life.
I make this Beta thing look good. [/quote]
I have met Derek IRL, and can attest to him being decidedly NOT Beta.[/quote]
But I raised another mans kids? Edgy do you know nothing? [/quote]
you raised another mans kids, while working full time and being a good husband to a good woman.
where in all of this does the beta occur?
except the crossfit, that is a definite lapse in your otherwise alpha behavior.
[quote]TheKraken wrote:
[quote]Edgy wrote:
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]doogie wrote:
I loved being a step-father. I must be have caught the beta.[/quote]
Yea I married a lady with 3 and one with special needs. Weird. I run a multi-million dollar business, lift 6 days a week and love my life.
I make this Beta thing look good. [/quote]
I have met Derek IRL, and can attest to him being decidedly NOT Beta.[/quote]
what does his hair smell like?[/quote]
like the fur of a Unicorn in the morning dew -
[quote]angry chicken wrote:
Human beings have value. Raising “another man’s seed” is a concept from our hunter/gatherer days. I dare say we are a wee bit evolved beyond that now. When my work schedule allows, I usually volunteer my time with “at risk” young men to try and move them in a positive direction. Sometimes I’ll coach my son’s sports team and I usually get pretty involved with the kids. Over the years, I’ve been a “mentor” (of sorts) to lots of young men. Some of them have turned their lives around and some of them get a Christmas card from me in prison. There are some young men that I’ve know for years and I am JUST as proud (if not more) of them and their accomplishments as I am with my own children. Am I “beta”? HARDLY.
Involving one’s self with a woman who has kids (or not) is a personal decision. If the woman has become a single mother due to poor life decisions, and there is evidence that she is continuing to make poor decisions, then it may be prudent to avoid a relationship with that woman. But if a woman becomes a single mother through circumstances that are reasonable and shows signs of making good life decisions and is moving in a positive direction, then I see no “red flag”. A good woman is hard to find. If anything, a single mother will already SHOW you what kind of mother she will be - there won’t be any guess work. And if she is a good mom, then I would say that should actually swing the decision in her favor.
Now, are there cases where a woman with several children with different fathers and not a lot going for her manages to attract a guy who, on the surface, seems to have a “higher market value”? Sure there are. In which case there are a two explanations: 1) he has issues that are not evident on the surface (aka: he is a “beta”) OR 2) HE FELL IN LOVE… Stranger things have been known to happen. Who are we to judge? But in my experience, that is pretty rare - people tend to attract people of similar “class”…
But a single mom with a kid? That could be a great opportunity just waiting for a chance. Not always, but like I said, there are plenty of reasonable explanations for a woman to be in that situation. As long as she is willing to have kids with you (assuming that’s what you want) I wouldn’t automatically disqualify her. In all fairness, a woman with kids wouldn’t be a “first round draft pick” for a young successful man with everything going for him. But as we get older, we realize that life happens and the people you tend to meet are on “round two”. And if she did her best in “round one”, there’s probably kids. And there’s nothing “beta” about that.
Like I said: Human beings have value. And your power in this world is only as strong as your relationships. Your influence will be felt by those you TEACH and MENTOR, not by those who’s mother you happened to “knock up”… Being father is a great responsibility. You are literally setting the example every day. Sometimes you win the day and your children see your best self. Other times they see your weaker moments. Your duty is to win most of your days. But that’s part of being a man. And very few men that I KNOW sit there and ask themselves, “am I being too beta right now”? They move through their life without asking for permission or giving apology.
So how is a 20 something year old virgin qualified to judge whether a MAN is alpha or beta? Son, you don’t have the scars to make that call.
[/quote]
Exactly.
A Virgin giving out dating advice.
Still a Virgin in his 20s=biggest beta of them all
[quote]Edgy wrote:
[quote]TheKraken wrote:
[quote]Edgy wrote:
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]doogie wrote:
I loved being a step-father. I must be have caught the beta.[/quote]
Yea I married a lady with 3 and one with special needs. Weird. I run a multi-million dollar business, lift 6 days a week and love my life.
I make this Beta thing look good. [/quote]
I have met Derek IRL, and can attest to him being decidedly NOT Beta.[/quote]
what does his hair smell like?[/quote]
like the fur of a Unicorn in the morning dew - [/quote]
I would have guessed peanut butter. Live and learn.
[quote]Edgy wrote:
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]Edgy wrote:
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]doogie wrote:
I loved being a step-father. I must be have caught the beta.[/quote]
Yea I married a lady with 3 and one with special needs. Weird. I run a multi-million dollar business, lift 6 days a week and love my life.
I make this Beta thing look good. [/quote]
I have met Derek IRL, and can attest to him being decidedly NOT Beta.[/quote]
But I raised another mans kids? Edgy do you know nothing? [/quote]
you raised another mans kids, while working full time and being a good husband to a good woman.
where in all of this does the beta occur?
except the crossfit, that is a definite lapse in your otherwise alpha behavior.[/quote]
Lol but its FREE for me
I guess my wife and I are both a total beta because we are in the process of formally adopting my niece and nephew.
[quote]therajraj wrote:
How do you guys define alpha?
How do you guys define beta?[/quote]
Both are words that insecure men use on the internet in an attempt to redefine normal social interactions and relationships, which they find scary and confusing.
[quote]angry chicken wrote:
Human beings have value. Raising “another man’s seed” is a concept from our hunter/gatherer days. I dare say we are a wee bit evolved beyond that now. When my work schedule allows, I usually volunteer my time with “at risk” young men to try and move them in a positive direction. Sometimes I’ll coach my son’s sports team and I usually get pretty involved with the kids. Over the years, I’ve been a “mentor” (of sorts) to lots of young men. Some of them have turned their lives around and some of them get a Christmas card from me in prison. There are some young men that I’ve know for years and I am JUST as proud (if not more) of them and their accomplishments as I am with my own children. Am I “beta”? HARDLY.
Involving one’s self with a woman who has kids (or not) is a personal decision. If the woman has become a single mother due to poor life decisions, and there is evidence that she is continuing to make poor decisions, then it may be prudent to avoid a relationship with that woman. But if a woman becomes a single mother through circumstances that are reasonable and shows signs of making good life decisions and is moving in a positive direction, then I see no “red flag”. A good woman is hard to find. If anything, a single mother will already SHOW you what kind of mother she will be - there won’t be any guess work. And if she is a good mom, then I would say that should actually swing the decision in her favor.
Now, are there cases where a woman with several children with different fathers and not a lot going for her manages to attract a guy who, on the surface, seems to have a “higher market value”? Sure there are. In which case there are a two explanations: 1) he has issues that are not evident on the surface (aka: he is a “beta”) OR 2) HE FELL IN LOVE… Stranger things have been known to happen. Who are we to judge? But in my experience, that is pretty rare - people tend to attract people of similar “class”…
But a single mom with a kid? That could be a great opportunity just waiting for a chance. Not always, but like I said, there are plenty of reasonable explanations for a woman to be in that situation. As long as she is willing to have kids with you (assuming that’s what you want) I wouldn’t automatically disqualify her. In all fairness, a woman with kids wouldn’t be a “first round draft pick” for a young successful man with everything going for him. But as we get older, we realize that life happens and the people you tend to meet are on “round two”. And if she did her best in “round one”, there’s probably kids. And there’s nothing “beta” about that.
Like I said: Human beings have value. And your power in this world is only as strong as your relationships. Your influence will be felt by those you TEACH and MENTOR, not by those who’s mother you happened to “knock up”… Being father is a great responsibility. You are literally setting the example every day. Sometimes you win the day and your children see your best self. Other times they see your weaker moments. Your duty is to win most of your days. But that’s part of being a man. And very few men that I KNOW sit there and ask themselves, “am I being too beta right now”? They move through their life without asking for permission or giving apology.
So how is a 20 something year old virgin qualified to judge whether a MAN is alpha or beta? Son, you don’t have the scars to make that call.
[/quote]
I was unprepared to put the energy into this thread, but this pretty much captures my thoughts/feelings on the subject. Thanks AC.
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]Edgy wrote:
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]Edgy wrote:
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]doogie wrote:
I loved being a step-father. I must be have caught the beta.[/quote]
Yea I married a lady with 3 and one with special needs. Weird. I run a multi-million dollar business, lift 6 days a week and love my life.
I make this Beta thing look good. [/quote]
I have met Derek IRL, and can attest to him being decidedly NOT Beta.[/quote]
But I raised another mans kids? Edgy do you know nothing? [/quote]
you raised another mans kids, while working full time and being a good husband to a good woman.
where in all of this does the beta occur?
except the crossfit, that is a definite lapse in your otherwise alpha behavior.[/quote]
Lol but its FREE for me[/quote]
does.
not.
matter.
crossfit = beta.
deal with it~
[quote]jjackkrash wrote:
[quote]Edgy wrote:
[quote]TheKraken wrote:
[quote]Edgy wrote:
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]doogie wrote:
I loved being a step-father. I must be have caught the beta.[/quote]
Yea I married a lady with 3 and one with special needs. Weird. I run a multi-million dollar business, lift 6 days a week and love my life.
I make this Beta thing look good. [/quote]
I have met Derek IRL, and can attest to him being decidedly NOT Beta.[/quote]
what does his hair smell like?[/quote]
like the fur of a Unicorn in the morning dew - [/quote]
I would have guessed peanut butter. Live and learn. [/quote]
0_o hey
[quote]TrevorLPT wrote:
[quote]therajraj wrote:
How do you guys define alpha?
How do you guys define beta?[/quote]
Both are words that insecure men use on the internet in an attempt to redefine normal social interactions and relationships, which they find scary and confusing. [/quote]
Sounds about right.
[quote]TrevorLPT wrote:
[quote]therajraj wrote:
How do you guys define alpha?
How do you guys define beta?[/quote]
Both are words that insecure men use on the internet in an attempt to redefine normal social interactions and relationships, which they find scary and confusing. [/quote]
spoken like a true beta.
I’m off to punch a single mother right in the face. And her stupid kid.
ALPHA 4 LIFE
[quote]Yogi wrote:
[quote]TrevorLPT wrote:
[quote]therajraj wrote:
How do you guys define alpha?
How do you guys define beta?[/quote]
Both are words that insecure men use on the internet in an attempt to redefine normal social interactions and relationships, which they find scary and confusing. [/quote]
spoken like a true beta.
I’m off to punch a single mother right in the face. And her stupid kid.
ALPHA 4 LIFE
[/quote]
Okay this really made me chuckle
Nicely done
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]Yogi wrote:
[quote]TrevorLPT wrote:
[quote]therajraj wrote:
How do you guys define alpha?
How do you guys define beta?[/quote]
Both are words that insecure men use on the internet in an attempt to redefine normal social interactions and relationships, which they find scary and confusing. [/quote]
spoken like a true beta.
I’m off to punch a single mother right in the face. And her stupid kid.
ALPHA 4 LIFE
[/quote]
Okay this really made me chuckle
Nicely done[/quote]
Good stuff Yogi! You have Mastered Beta’s, all beta should call you Masta Beta.
Back to the hair scent, Derek, what exactly did you eat yesterday?
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Just stumbled onto this while procrastinating. Beta or alpha?
Stupid question, hilarious video.
[quote]Mr. Walkway wrote:
im writing to see if any T-nationer has any insight as to why a male would do this to himself… spending his time, money, effort, etc, to raise another man’s child and care for his refuse? [/quote]
You’d make a wonderful father.
A lot of black/white arguing going on in a grey area topic. I personally would not jump into a relationship where the woman has kids, especially under her own poor choices. That is a personal choice because it is not my ideal relationship and I have the power to make that call. I don’t think a man raising children who are not his own can be automatically considered as “beta”. Some men would fit the bill and others wouldn’t(holy shit people are different?). It is all relative to the particular situation. I couldn’t care less what another man does with his time, efforts, and money though.
[quote]Mr. Walkway wrote:
I wasn’t expecting such emotional and irrational reponses. Brickhead, you write like a female lol…nttiawwt
an above poster suggested that I may be making these examples up… sadly, I am not.
I just can’t wrap my head around a man choosing to spend the best years of his life raising another man’s child… it’s just, so irrational. Yes, “real men” face up to their obligations… THEIR obligations… not the obligations of another man lol… if you are trying to convince me, or anyone else, that a REAL man would ‘step up to the plate’, and essentially cuckold himself, its a wasted effort. [/quote]
Because maybe the juice is worth the squeeze?
In other words, if the single mother is that awesome, then a kiddo or two is not a deal-breaker by any means. Yeah, maybe there are better options out there, but you can say that about anyone you decide to settle down and build a family with.
I think the problem here is that you don’t really understand the Alpha/Beta thing very well at all. The man is Alpha if he is the de-facto, unquestioned leader of his family. That means that the kids he is essentially adopting fall under his authority. When Susie and Bobby are at home with Mom and Step-Dad, they toe the line that Step-Dad draws. That is being Alpha. The “you’re not my REAL Dad” bullshit does not fucking apply in this scenario.
Beta in this circumstance would be pushing all of the child-rearing responsibility off to the wife, since they’re not “your” kids.
Alpha = All In (Your frame)
Beta = Just the Tip (Their frame)
The act of dating a single mother in and of itself will require a greater degree of Beta (IE comfort-building) to win the woman over. She needs to feel supported and reassured that you’re not going to pump and dump; all of the Alpha tingles that might have got her panties off prior to kids will still have an effect, but they aren’t going to have as profound of one.
IMO as long as the man ends up happy with what he “won” (IE the single mom) after time has passed, and his needs are being met, then who fucking cares how many kids she had when they met or to whom? Why would you want someone to trade “happy and fulfilled” for anything else?
EDIT - I guess to sum up what I wrote above re: Alpha = All In, etc: It is much more Beta to be on the periphery of the family, therefore NOT effectively raising “another man’s kids,” than it is to OWN IT, lead the family, and raise the kids.
[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:
I guess my wife and I are both a total beta because we are in the process of formally adopting my niece and nephew.[/quote]
Congratulations!
