Sonny, sorry bro, I know you don’t want fictional lines, but since it’s already been done a few times here’s one from the Man, Eastwood, from The Outlaw Josey Wales and one of my favorites… something like this.
“When things get bad and you think you’re not gonna make it… you gotta get mean… plumb mad dog Mean!!!,”
I doubt anyone has heard this before
“Dare, God helps the bold!”
it was the inscription of some french general’s sword by Czar Alexander the 2nd of Russia.
No matter how beautiful a woman is, somewhere theres a man bored to death sleeping with her!
The story may be lame, but the line is unforgettable:
Intramural Tug-of-War, my team loses the championship round. I think the sport is stupid anyhow, so I don’t care much. The other team was made of douchebags, so I was ready to find a beer and a bar free from them, but one of them had to try to be macho.
This guy, 5’11", 240ish looks dead in the eyes of my friend Tim, and makes the claim “I’m A Navy Seal” like that had something to do with his victory.
Tim, who is a Navy Pilot currently, looked at the guy (they are the same size) and said simply “Then SEAL your lips around this dick, Bitch.”
The “navy seal” was shocked. He had been punked, in front of a crowd of around 70 people, and he didn’t do a damn thing.
I have a different take on it… It comes from a bouncer that I work with… Undoubtably the toughest person I will likely meet in my life:
“I’m never afraid of a talker”
It’s always the true badass Alpha that wastes no time talking and just thumps your ass. I subscribe to the same philosophy…partly cause I hate posturing losers…and partly because I’m shit at one-liners…always easier to swing away (and if I lose…at least I wasn’t afraid to swing)
[quote]Creidem wrote:
I have a different take on it… It comes from a bouncer that I work with… Undoubtably the toughest person I will likely meet in my life:
“I’m never afraid of a talker”
It’s always the true badass Alpha that wastes no time talking and just thumps your ass. I subscribe to the same philosophy…partly cause I hate posturing losers…and partly because I’m shit at one-liners…always easier to swing away (and if I lose…at least I wasn’t afraid to swing)[/quote]
How manly. I wish that I was able to start swinging before trying to diffuse the situation. I guess I am too afraid to use violence as my primary conflict-resolution tool…
My buddy Jonathan …
He’s 5’7 and about 142 lbs at most… walks with a slight hunchback and all, with his green hair in front of his eyes.
He previously had trouble with 4 damn tall guys from a local car repairment garage, who were always touching and grabbing is former girlfriend at the station, but they eventually gave up after Jonathan took some and gave some hits, and(mostly)because she called the cops twice.
So I was standing outside this bar with a few friends girls, and Jon just gave me a call to say he was coming over.
I see him coming down the street, about a 100 metres away, when from another bar 2 of those previous 4 guys walk out. One of the guys sees him coming and they quickly run back in the bar and come out with 9 guys in total, and they blocked the street.
The moment he was almost near them, one of them yells out “Try calling the police this time green fag”
Any other guy would have ran, or at least backed up to a safe position, especially when you made the comparison between them and him.
And Jon just keeps on walking to right in front of the guy who said it(who was about 6’2), looked up just a little from his hunchback, and said “Get the fuck out of my way”.
Everyone of that group of 9 and some of the spectators made involuntarily one step back after that …
Side note : he did take quite a few hits, but fortunately there was help and it all passed quickly.
If anyone wants to read about a fictional alpha male, William W. Johnstone has a series of books in an “Eagle” series.
Eagle
I really enjoy them. They discuss the life of a Jamie MacCallister, kidnapped by Shawnee Indians after his family was murdered by them, taken as a slave and eventually coming under their confidence gets trained in the Shawnee warrior ways. Never happy with this situation he escapes and the books detail his life through early settlers taming the west, the alamo, civil war all while using skills he learned in his shawnee warrior training…and thats as far as ive gotten. I am finished with book three and suggest reading them in order.
[quote]Creidem wrote:
I have a different take on it… It comes from a bouncer that I work with… Undoubtably the toughest person I will likely meet in my life:
“I’m never afraid of a talker”
It’s always the true badass Alpha that wastes no time talking and just thumps your ass. I subscribe to the same philosophy…partly cause I hate posturing losers…and partly because I’m shit at one-liners…always easier to swing away (and if I lose…at least I wasn’t afraid to swing)[/quote]
See, I don’t get that mentality. I always think of the consequences, i.e. jail time etc. Not to mention what if he’s got a gun? Didn’t TC write an article on this a few weeks ago? How nowadays too many men relate being the “Alpha Male” with violence. Just because you can recklessly jump into a fight with both fists swinging does not make you an alpha-male. It just makes you reckless and (some might argue) stupid.
I have been training martial arts for several years now. Believe me, there are plenty of times where I wish I can just call someone out and thump them cause they deserve a serious thumping. But shit, I have to remind myself that life ain’t a boxing ring. I keep my cool and try not to stoop to their level (them as in the jackasses). Gotta rise above it.
My 0.02.
[quote]Aleksandr wrote:
Creidem wrote:
I have a different take on it… It comes from a bouncer that I work with… Undoubtably the toughest person I will likely meet in my life:
“I’m never afraid of a talker”
It’s always the true badass Alpha that wastes no time talking and just thumps your ass. I subscribe to the same philosophy…partly cause I hate posturing losers…and partly because I’m shit at one-liners…always easier to swing away (and if I lose…at least I wasn’t afraid to swing)
How manly. I wish that I was able to start swinging before trying to diffuse the situation. I guess I am too afraid to use violence as my primary conflict-resolution tool…[/quote]
Prisons are full of this type of “alpha male”.
When I was a young Corpsman with the Marines, we had to do training in good ol’ 29 palms.
I was part of a 4 vehicle convoy that was slowly trying to get back to Camp Wilson from a bomb range in a rainstorm but we were about 12 miles west of anything that looked familiar. We had no coms with our RSO who could track us and get us back to their pos. (Where we had just left.)
We were lost as hell and it was getting dark, I was pissed off, cold, and heavily worried that there was no way we were getting back to a hot meal and a cozy cot. When we circled the wagons to assess the situation and figure out what the hell we were going to do, I expressed my concern for the welfare of the Marines and that we should press on rather than settle in at our current position. Being 19 and pretty green, I must have sounded like a whining little bitch.
The SSGT in charge of the convoy then said something to me that I’ll never forget and still use today.
“Doc, god-damn, we’re on Planet Earth, check?”
-Check
"We’re in North America, Check?
-Check
“We’re in California, Check?”
-Check
“We’re in 29 Palms, California, Check?”
-Check
“We’re not getting shot at, Check?”
-Check
“That way is the camp, (points to the south-east) Check?”
-Check
“Then why don’t you calm the fuck down, shut the fuck up, settle in, and be glad we’re not risking dumping one of these Hummers in a ditch out here in the dark in this soggy god-damned desert.”
-Roger that SSGT.
It was a shitty night spent out on the desert trying to sleep in the back of a HMMVEE, but we made it back to camp for breakfast and had the rest of the day off to chill before leaving for a FARP the following day. We were safe, the gear was still good to go, and I never again put in my two cents on an operation without putting sense and safety in the equation first.
Anytime I’m at risk of being lost or frustrated, or even letting my selfishness overcome my sensibility I remember that conversation and try to “calm the fuck down”
GAINER
[quote]Aleksandr wrote:
Creidem wrote:
I have a different take on it… It comes from a bouncer that I work with… Undoubtably the toughest person I will likely meet in my life:
“I’m never afraid of a talker”
It’s always the true badass Alpha that wastes no time talking and just thumps your ass. I subscribe to the same philosophy…partly cause I hate posturing losers…and partly because I’m shit at one-liners…always easier to swing away (and if I lose…at least I wasn’t afraid to swing)
How manly. I wish that I was able to start swinging before trying to diffuse the situation. I guess I am too afraid to use violence as my primary conflict-resolution tool…[/quote]
Yes…because all of the lines that people are quoting here are sure fire methods to diffuse a potentially violent situation. My god man…do you read??? This thread was basically about badass one-liners (and a few funny jokes too) and as I stated I’m shit at one-liners so if theres gonna be a conflict I just start conflicting. Do I like fighting? No. Do I wish that I could come out with clever Eastwoodisms to vanquish my opponents into quivering puddles of urine without raising a fist? Yes. Do I go out and start fights? No, I’m far too pretty to get beat up every night.
Satisfied?
[quote]IronHell wrote:
Creidem wrote:
I have a different take on it… It comes from a bouncer that I work with… Undoubtably the toughest person I will likely meet in my life:
“I’m never afraid of a talker”
It’s always the true badass Alpha that wastes no time talking and just thumps your ass. I subscribe to the same philosophy…partly cause I hate posturing losers…and partly because I’m shit at one-liners…always easier to swing away (and if I lose…at least I wasn’t afraid to swing)
See, I don’t get that mentality. I always think of the consequences, i.e. jail time etc. Not to mention what if he’s got a gun? Didn’t TC write an article on this a few weeks ago? How nowadays too many men relate being the “Alpha Male” with violence. Just because you can recklessly jump into a fight with both fists swinging does not make you an alpha-male. It just makes you reckless and (some might argue) stupid.
I have been training martial arts for several years now. Believe me, there are plenty of times where I wish I can just call someone out and thump them cause they deserve a serious thumping. But shit, I have to remind myself that life ain’t a boxing ring. I keep my cool and try not to stoop to their level (them as in the jackasses). Gotta rise above it.
My 0.02.
[/quote]
Again, I believe that I’ve been misunderstood. I’m not advocating recklessly jumping into conflict left right and center. My point was that if conflict is imminent then there’s not much to say is there. I prefer talking it out if it’s possible…by no means do I consider myself a ninja…but sometimes the other party leaves you no other option but to defend yourself.
Once while riding in the truck with my Dad (I was about 12) I got mouthy and my Dad said “Just cause your older now don’t mean I can’t still put you over my knee”. I said well one day I would be bigger than him and he said “Son, just remember one thing - you can never whip your Daddy”. I retorted that he could beat-up grandpa cause he was old. Dad said “Son I told ya you can never whip your Daddy … your grandpa has forgot more about fighting than me and you put together will ever know”.
[quote]Creidem wrote:
IronHell wrote:
Creidem wrote:
I have a different take on it… It comes from a bouncer that I work with… Undoubtably the toughest person I will likely meet in my life:
“I’m never afraid of a talker”
It’s always the true badass Alpha that wastes no time talking and just thumps your ass. I subscribe to the same philosophy…partly cause I hate posturing losers…and partly because I’m shit at one-liners…always easier to swing away (and if I lose…at least I wasn’t afraid to swing)
See, I don’t get that mentality. I always think of the consequences, i.e. jail time etc. Not to mention what if he’s got a gun? Didn’t TC write an article on this a few weeks ago? How nowadays too many men relate being the “Alpha Male” with violence. Just because you can recklessly jump into a fight with both fists swinging does not make you an alpha-male. It just makes you reckless and (some might argue) stupid.
I have been training martial arts for several years now. Believe me, there are plenty of times where I wish I can just call someone out and thump them cause they deserve a serious thumping. But shit, I have to remind myself that life ain’t a boxing ring. I keep my cool and try not to stoop to their level (them as in the jackasses). Gotta rise above it.
My 0.02.
Again, I believe that I’ve been misunderstood. I’m not advocating recklessly jumping into conflict left right and center. My point was that if conflict is imminent then there’s not much to say is there. I prefer talking it out if it’s possible…by no means do I consider myself a ninja…but sometimes the other party leaves you no other option but to defend yourself.
[/quote]
C
I was a bouncer many many moons ago. I know exactly what you are talking about.
The toughest meanest bastards never said anything when you were tossing them out they just went after you.
It’s the guys that tell you they are 9th. degree blackbelt ninja warriors, mafia hitmen or Special Forces guys on liberty who are letting you live so they don’t blow thier deep cover who will never ever remotely throw a punch. It’s all show, no go, when the mouth is flapping.
[quote]hedo wrote:
Creidem wrote:
IronHell wrote:
Creidem wrote:
I have a different take on it… It comes from a bouncer that I work with… Undoubtably the toughest person I will likely meet in my life:
“I’m never afraid of a talker”
It’s always the true badass Alpha that wastes no time talking and just thumps your ass. I subscribe to the same philosophy…partly cause I hate posturing losers…and partly because I’m shit at one-liners…always easier to swing away (and if I lose…at least I wasn’t afraid to swing)
See, I don’t get that mentality. I always think of the consequences, i.e. jail time etc. Not to mention what if he’s got a gun? Didn’t TC write an article on this a few weeks ago? How nowadays too many men relate being the “Alpha Male” with violence. Just because you can recklessly jump into a fight with both fists swinging does not make you an alpha-male. It just makes you reckless and (some might argue) stupid.
I have been training martial arts for several years now. Believe me, there are plenty of times where I wish I can just call someone out and thump them cause they deserve a serious thumping. But shit, I have to remind myself that life ain’t a boxing ring. I keep my cool and try not to stoop to their level (them as in the jackasses). Gotta rise above it.
My 0.02.
Again, I believe that I’ve been misunderstood. I’m not advocating recklessly jumping into conflict left right and center. My point was that if conflict is imminent then there’s not much to say is there. I prefer talking it out if it’s possible…by no means do I consider myself a ninja…but sometimes the other party leaves you no other option but to defend yourself.
C
I was a bouncer many many moons ago. I know exactly what you are talking about.
The toughest meanest bastards never said anything when you were tossing them out they just went after you.
It’s the guys that tell you they are 9th. degree blackbelt ninja warriors, mafia hitmen or Special Forces guys on liberty who are letting you live so they don’t blow thier deep cover who will never ever remotely throw a punch. It’s all show, no go, when the mouth is flapping.
[/quote]
Of course, odds are if someone is a 9th degree bluh bluh bluh, he/she received that “kick-your-ass” training ALONG with some discipline. And that discipline is kicking in to tell him/her to refrain from doing any physical harm to anyone. Their “mouthing off” is their way of letting out their anger (much like those with NO training let it out with their fists.) Bare in mind that some people ARE full of shit and probably are either bluffing or still pussies despite the training.
But I wouldn’t be so quick as to call someone tough (or tougher in comparison) just because he/she is quick to the punch. By the same token, I wouldn’t be so quick to call someone “all show and no go” if he/she DOESN’T resort to violence.
We have to make the distinction here between thugs and those who are threatened. Thugs resort to violence at the drop of a dime as discussed. Those who are threatened ONLY resort to violence because he/she has no choice (or if their honor is threatened such as if someone insults his/her wife yadi yadi, but that’s a whole different can of worms).
shrugs semantics. All depends on how you want to define “badass.”
Creidem, I don’t appreciate you dragging my beloved Eastwoodisms into your little disagreement… wanna fight? I won’t let out a peep about my secret special forces assassin ninja training or the fact that Clint’s got my back! I promise.
“Who’s the only one here who knows secret ninja moves from the government?”–N. Dynamite
E = MC^2
Best Alpha Male quote? Me!
About a week ago, I was at the squat rack, squatting, and some guy who looked like he was in his mid-40’s came over. I had just finished a set, and had a few more to go.
‘Hey, are you going to be much longer?’
‘Not that much longer,’ I replied, ‘I have a few more sets left.’
‘Well you gotta hurry up, I don’t have much time.’
So I just sort of shrugged off this guy and his lack of time, and shrugged off the question of why I should care. So what does this guy do? He pulls up a bench and sits a few feet behind me.
‘Uhh… bud, it won’t take that much longer.’
‘Stop talking and finish up.’
So with that, I rack the bar and walk over to him.
‘Why don’t you go over there?’ I say, pointing to the stretching area.
He looks at me indignantly. ‘There’s no squat rack there, pal,’ he barks at me.
‘I know. But there is a box of tissues. You could go and cry about it like a big girl.’
He stomps off 
Judecca 1, World 0