Being Married and Still Lifting?

Off Topic
81

[quote]RTJenforcer wrote:

[quote]Brother Chris wrote:

[quote]AlexC1 wrote:

[quote]scj119 wrote:

[quote]Brother Chris wrote:

[quote]mr popular wrote:
like you’ve ever lived together.[/quote]

I never got this particular piece of advice. Will someone give me a semi-solid reason why living together is a good idea before marriage? Just doesn’t make sense.[/quote]

Would you buy a $50,000 car if they wouldn’t let you test drive it first?[/quote]

Exactly. The only people I’ve known to up and get married without having ever lived together (in my age group anyways) are divorced. Or they’re super religious, don’t believe in divorce, and are living horrible lives now. [/quote]

Statistically, people that live with each before marriage have a higher rate of divorce…[/quote]

Correlation =/= Causation
[/quote]

Good job. But looking at the statistics, there is a high correlation between unhappy marriage and cohabitation.

82

[quote]debraD wrote:
People who don’t want to be together should not be together.[/quote]

People shouldn’t get married if they aren’t going to commit.

83

[quote]debraD wrote:
Out of curiosity, what kind of a time commitment is it for you?

Personally I don’t see how it would need to be any different than any other serious activity done while working a full time job. For example, going back to school, being a serious artist, getting a pilot’s license and flying regularly, etc.

[/quote]

Shut it Deb - you’re not huge. ; )

84

[quote]Brother Chris wrote:

[quote]AlexC1 wrote:

[quote]scj119 wrote:

[quote]Brother Chris wrote:

[quote]mr popular wrote:
like you’ve ever lived together.[/quote]

I never got this particular piece of advice. Will someone give me a semi-solid reason why living together is a good idea before marriage? Just doesn’t make sense.[/quote]

Would you buy a $50,000 car if they wouldn’t let you test drive it first?[/quote]

Exactly. The only people I’ve known to up and get married without having ever lived together (in my age group anyways) are divorced. Or they’re super religious, don’t believe in divorce, and are living horrible lives now. [/quote]

Statistically, people that live with each before marriage have a higher rate of divorce…[/quote]

Selection bias.

Those who don’t live together before marriage are FAR more likely to be religious/conservative and not believe in divorce, even if their marriage is miserable.

85

[quote]Brother Chris wrote:

[quote]Testy1 wrote:

[quote]Brother Chris wrote:

[quote]AlexC1 wrote:

[quote]scj119 wrote:

[quote]Brother Chris wrote:

[quote]mr popular wrote:
like you’ve ever lived together.[/quote]

I never got this particular piece of advice. Will someone give me a semi-solid reason why living together is a good idea before marriage? Just doesn’t make sense.[/quote]

Would you buy a $50,000 car if they wouldn’t let you test drive it first?[/quote]

Exactly. The only people I’ve known to up and get married without having ever lived together (in my age group anyways) are divorced. Or they’re super religious, don’t believe in divorce, and are living horrible lives now. [/quote]

Statistically, people that live with each before marriage have a higher rate of divorce…[/quote]

You know what they say about statistics. The only divorced couples in my circle of friends are those that didn’t live together first.
[/quote]

Neil Bennett found at Yale University that couples that live together have a higher rate of separation and divorce, 80% more likely. National Council on Family Relations showed that marriages were less satisfying when cohabitation occurred then when they wait until after marriage. Dr. Khan and London found that those women that have sex before marriage are 60% more likely to be divorced. As well affairs are higher. Also by “test driving” you are getting married based on convenience or compatibility, not basing it on commitment.[/quote]

The last sentence is pure subjectivity and your opinion, one that I feel most people won’t share.

Do any of those statistics talk about whether premarital cohabitation leads to HAPPIER marriages?

86

Done hijacking.

OP - if you and your wife are happy why are you worrying about what anyone else thinks?

87

[quote]Brother Chris wrote:

[quote]debraD wrote:
People who don’t want to be together should not be together.[/quote]

People shouldn’t get married if they aren’t going to commit.[/quote]

That’s not for you to decide.

88

[quote]SkyNett wrote:

[quote]debraD wrote:
Out of curiosity, what kind of a time commitment is it for you?

Personally I don’t see how it would need to be any different than any other serious activity done while working a full time job. For example, going back to school, being a serious artist, getting a pilot’s license and flying regularly, etc.

[/quote]

Shut it Deb - you’re not huge. ; ) [/quote]

:`(

(My ass is :P)

89

[quote]debraD wrote:

[quote]SkyNett wrote:

[quote]debraD wrote:
Out of curiosity, what kind of a time commitment is it for you?

Personally I don’t see how it would need to be any different than any other serious activity done while working a full time job. For example, going back to school, being a serious artist, getting a pilot’s license and flying regularly, etc.

[/quote]

Shut it Deb - you’re not huge. ; ) [/quote]

:`(

(My ass is :P)
[/quote]

and Spectacular!!!

90

[quote]debraD wrote:

[quote]SkyNett wrote:

[quote]debraD wrote:
Out of curiosity, what kind of a time commitment is it for you?

Personally I don’t see how it would need to be any different than any other serious activity done while working a full time job. For example, going back to school, being a serious artist, getting a pilot’s license and flying regularly, etc.

[/quote]

Shut it Deb - you’re not huge. ; ) [/quote]

:`(

(My ass is near perfection :P)
[/quote]
x2

91

[quote]debraD wrote:

[quote]SkyNett wrote:

[quote]debraD wrote:
Out of curiosity, what kind of a time commitment is it for you?

Personally I don’t see how it would need to be any different than any other serious activity done while working a full time job. For example, going back to school, being a serious artist, getting a pilot’s license and flying regularly, etc.

[/quote]

Shut it Deb - you’re not huge. ; ) [/quote]

:`(

(My ass is :P)
[/quote]

Ya…in the best possible way.

Still, until you (or your ass) crack 200 lbs, you are NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE AN OPINION! Got it? ; )

92

[quote]overstand wrote:
She wants you to look like shit so she doesnt feel bad about the 30 pounds she plans on gaining as soon as you say “I do”. [/quote]

THIS.
Over 9000

Man, this bullshit pisses me off. We recently had one of our girls quit the cheer-leading team because her “oh so important boyfriend” doesn’t want her to do it… You know those relationships, serial business!

93

OP.

I’ve been married for 21 years, and my wife and I were fundamentally different. She accepted me and my goals in life, and I accepted her and her goals. That acceptance is the only thing that makes marriage work, but it does test your patience and commitment.

Over time, we’ve become more alike in our interests and goals as we had kids and such, but this occurred naturally over 2 decades.

Marriages founded upon absolutes and ultimatums do not work. I’ve seen many a marriage fail due to this.

You have to be true to yourself first. Tell this girl she can accept you or she can find another man. You may want this woman, but you don’t need her.

94

[quote]SkyNett wrote:

[quote]AlexC1 wrote:
I’m married and have a kid and I hit the gym at least 5 days a week. [/quote]

I love that avatar. How did you get your kid to float? I wanna try that… ; ) [/quote]

They all float!!! When they’re down here, they ALL FLOAT!

95

[quote]A Mutt wrote:
OP.

I’ve been married for 21 years, and my wife and I were fundamentally different. She accepted me and my goals in life, and I accepted her and her goals. That acceptance is the only thing that makes marriage work, but it does test your patience and commitment.

Over time, we’ve become more alike in our interests and goals as we had kids and such, but this occurred naturally over 2 decades.

Marriages founded upon absolutes and ultimatums do not work. I’ve seen many a marriage fail due to this.

You have to be true to yourself first. Tell this girl she can accept you or she can find another man. You may want this woman, but you don’t need her.[/quote]

Ya that’s the plan. we are not married yet, don’t plan to be until we both have our masters, have stable jobs, etc. So lay those bricks down first. Like I said in an earlier post. she accepts my lifting, she has helped me a lot in it. The negative shit is coming from her best friends, mine, and the future in laws. So ya I am 22, may be a bit young to be engaged according to some but pretty much I was just looking for advice from people who have been there, just to see how they did it. Thanks man.

[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:

[quote]Professor X wrote:

I’m going to make this point again because I am looking at avatars and I don’t see anyone huge yet.[/quote]

Well, in my avatar “I” am huge. lol

True, but WTF does that have to do with the OP’s issue?

Oh really? Time away is time away whether the OP joins a Quilting Group, is a bodybuilder, or just spends a few hours at the gym on a treadmill.

[/quote]

The Op also stated he is looking at it from the perspective of a serious bodybuilder when I asked him.

Yes, there is a very large difference between someone who just goes to the gym and someone whose entire life revolves around eating, lifting, recovering, and making time for those things daily without fail.

The average weekend warrior is NOT on the same level no matter how much they cry about their effort.

Someone serious has their day scheduled out days ahead of time. Yes, that takes a tad more understanding from a wife than some guy who simply leaves the house for an hour a day with little further issues.[/quote]

Prof X like I said man thanks for the ass whipping earlier. Ya I am coming from a serious lifter standpoint.

96

[quote]scj119 wrote:

[quote]Brother Chris wrote:

[quote]AlexC1 wrote:

[quote]scj119 wrote:

[quote]Brother Chris wrote:

[quote]mr popular wrote:
like you’ve ever lived together.[/quote]

I never got this particular piece of advice. Will someone give me a semi-solid reason why living together is a good idea before marriage? Just doesn’t make sense.[/quote]

Would you buy a $50,000 car if they wouldn’t let you test drive it first?[/quote]

Exactly. The only people I’ve known to up and get married without having ever lived together (in my age group anyways) are divorced. Or they’re super religious, don’t believe in divorce, and are living horrible lives now. [/quote]

Statistically, people that live with each before marriage have a higher rate of divorce…[/quote]

Selection bias.

Those who don’t live together before marriage are FAR more likely to be religious/conservative and not believe in divorce, even if their marriage is miserable.[/quote]

Yes, well then we should look at the studies that found couples that cohabited before marriage were far more likely to be unhappy and unsatisfied with their marriage than those who didn’t cohabited before marriage.

97

[quote]scj119 wrote:
The last sentence is pure subjectivity and your opinion, one that I feel most people won’t share.

Do any of those statistics talk about whether premarital cohabitation leads to HAPPIER marriages?
[/quote]

No, it is not. Pulled it from a study, the study showed that people who cohabited were more likely to marry because of convenience and compatibility or try to build a marriage off a sexual relationship. That folks that would not cohabit before marriage would marry because of commitment.

98

[quote]debraD wrote:

[quote]Brother Chris wrote:

[quote]debraD wrote:
People who don’t want to be together should not be together.[/quote]

People shouldn’t get married if they aren’t going to commit.[/quote]

That’s not for you to decide.
[/quote]

Did I say it was, Deb?

99

Dude, don’t listen to the ‘you’re too young’ garbage.

You know your relationship. They do not.

I got married a month and maybe 15 days after I turned 19. I heard the same garbage.

My parents got married at the same age I did and they have been married ever since - happily!

It all depends on your maturity, her maturity, how much you love each other, and how much you want to be married. I lift regularly and my wife enjoys watching me. You definitely don’t have to stop lifting just because you got married. Just make sure you make it clear that is a part of you or even something you just really wanna do seriously… my wife never questioned it and even helped me get back into lifting after a year and a half hiatus due to life.

Also, don’t listen to people who have never been married if they are telling you how bad marriage is –

marriage is a cool thing. You always have somebody there to talk to no matter what. There is always somebody there to hold your hand. Always somebody there to give you a hug when you’re feeling blue. Always somebody beside you when you sleep.

I wouldn’t give my marriage up for anything.

100

Chiming in as one of the women who trains, competes, has a couple of kids, house, mortgage, full time job and full time, live in boyfriend (who also trains and competes) it isn’t exactly an unattainable goal. I also have time to go to movies, read books, go to the park, help my kids with their homework, post on t-n, get laid and sometimes, do fuck all.

My point is that I find it to be an unsupportable assumption that you can’t be married and train.