Beat the Crap Out of Some Big Guy

Well said!

OMG guys, you won’t believe what happened to me the other day.

This happened when I was in an exclusive club. I was just chilling at the bar in the VIP section minding my own business when this obnoxious drunk fat girl started slobbering all over me (She would probably be considered ā€œhotā€ to people like you, but I only date actresses and supermodels), then her bf, who looked oddly familiar, came over and accuses me of hitting on his girl, now this guy was big, you could tell he did some serious weightlifting, must have had a good 100lbs of pure muscle on me and I just laughed and told him: ā€œI wouldn’t touch her with a barge pole, she’s fat, you’re ugly, i’m neither, I could pick up better looking chicks at a science fair, now get lost you meat headā€. I then realized that this guy was Brock Lesnar, the UFC Heavyweight champion!

He didn’t appreciate this and threw a left hook but I was quicker, I ducked, landed too kidney shots and when he turned around I caught him in a clinch landing three knees and an elbow, he looked dazed and was nursing his bloody nose. I was in a real bad mood earlier though so I took him with a single leg takedown and side mount, then proceeded to rain down one hammerfist after another. That let off all my steam and he was just laying there holding his face and I was just ā€˜ha, where’s your dbol now Pro Wrestling bitch!’ I then put him in a choke hold. The pussy tried to tap out, but I was all ā€˜This ain’t the UFC motherfucker!’ I then got the hell out of there before the bouncers got me. (This all happened in the course of 15 seconds)

And something similar has happened before, there was this arrogant bastard back in school, he was a Navy Seal and considerably bigger than me, and kicked off with me once, but I wasn’t in no mood to take shit from anyone! so I just caught him with a scissor takedown and heel hook. He was lucky I didn’t break his ankle. And when he was rolling around in agony I laughed when I realized his gf and lackey were watching.

Man I know having muscle looks good, but what’s the point if you’re still going to get you ass handed to you buy a trained guy less than half your size.

Now you all know how bad ass I am.

[quote]Sick Rick wrote:
Yolked Up wrote:
It would be interesting to see how far your daily routine of throwing drunken trailer trash out of local alabama clubs would get you against a trained fighter.

It would be interesting to see how far your daily routine of kicking drunken guys’s asses would get you in a real martial arts club.

[/quote]

LOL fuckin owned

[quote]B rocK wrote:
You should have given him a dirty sanchez and then made out with him. [/quote]

Man, I’ve been reading through this whole thread laughing but this one really got me.
Most excellent.

Thank you. I love it.

That sad part is that ā€œclubā€ is actually ā€œmom’s basementā€ and ā€œbadass dudeā€ is probably ā€œlittle sisterā€ on whom he rains down more than hammerfists.

[quote]paleotool wrote:
Thank you. I love it.

That sad part is that ā€œclubā€ is actually ā€œmom’s basementā€ and ā€œbadass dudeā€ is probably ā€œlittle sisterā€ on whom he rains down more than hammerfists. [/quote]

and fucking owned again…

God damn you assimilate quick.

what ever , seriously you hit him with a coule kidney shots n then clinched dropeed some knees and an elbow and he didnt drop…i dont give a fuck who you are an elbow will drop your ass…then you took him down and hammer fisted him blah blah blah…sounds like you watch strike force in your tap out t shirt in your parents basement then replicate what you saw mma fighters do into your posts…keep the stories coming hans christian anderson

[quote]Yolked Up wrote:
It would be interesting to see how far your daily routine of throwing drunken trailer trash out of local alabama clubs would get you against a trained fighter.
[/quote]

oh boy, here we go again…

lol

[quote]HolyMacaroni wrote:
Yolked Up wrote:
It would be interesting to see how far your daily routine of throwing drunken trailer trash out of local alabama clubs would get you against a trained fighter.

oh boy, here we go again…

lol[/quote]

Yolked, look at the three dudes in your avatar. It doesn’t matter which of those wanksters you are, you look like shit.

Now look at Mac’s avatar. This dude has arms the size of your legs (plus his hands on a hot chick, not on some gay dudes in his bathroom).

You won’t win this.

[quote]HolyMacaroni wrote:
Yolked Up wrote:
It would be interesting to see how far your daily routine of throwing drunken trailer trash out of local alabama clubs would get you against a trained fighter.

oh boy, here we go again…

lol[/quote]

Straight trollin

[quote]Sick Rick wrote:

Yolked, look at the three dudes in your avatar. It doesn’t matter which of those wanksters you are, you look like shit.

Now look at Mac’s avatar. This dude has arms the size of your legs (plus his hands on a hot chick, not on some gay dudes in his bathroom).

You won’t win this.
[/quote]

remember rick i’ve just got big, non-functional muscles. there’s no way i could even dress myself, much less eject yolk’s indian ass onto the pavement. i’ve never heard of this strange art called ā€˜MMA’ or ā€˜BJJ’.

i’m gonna go back to my room and start practicing my ā€˜raining hammerfist’ defense.

[quote]Sick Rick wrote:
HolyMacaroni wrote:
Yolked Up wrote:
It would be interesting to see how far your daily routine of throwing drunken trailer trash out of local alabama clubs would get you against a trained fighter.

oh boy, here we go again…

lol

Yolked, look at the three dudes in your avatar. It doesn’t matter which of those wanksters you are, you look like shit.

Now look at Mac’s avatar. This dude has arms the size of your legs (plus his hands on a hot chick, not on some gay dudes in his bathroom).

You won’t win this.
[/quote]

That’s the whole point in brazilian jiu-jitsu you fucking idiot. It emphasises good technique, mobility and leverage over brute force. But no, I train vale tudo which is one step further.

And I would hardly be considered ā€˜tiny indian’ considering i’m taller and more athletic than him.

I think I very much WOULD win this.

[quote]HolyMacaroni wrote:
i’ve never heard of this strange art called ā€˜MMA’ or ā€˜BJJ’.
[/quote]

Isn’t a ā€œBJJā€ when she doesn’t stop until you cum again?

[quote]paleotool wrote:
Yolker, is that you in that badass backward photo in your most recent avatar? If so which one? None of those little boys look jacked-up or hardcore but bear a surprising resemblance to those in the douchebaggery article.[/quote]

Whatever dude, i’m sick of your insane rambling. And change your av man, you look like the pillsbury doughboy. Maybe if you trained instead of sitting their talking shit you wouldn’t be such a fat bastard. Now go put a shirt on and don’t come back till you lose 50 lbs.

I was thinking the same thing when he made that comment. I have no doubt you could clonk their heads together like the three stooges and still not drop the beer you would be holding. For that matter, if that avatar is the ā€œjackedā€ crew, I suspect anyone off the figure athlete forum could do the same. Not saying that size is everything, but this poncy rich boy from Punjab or wherever is not going anywhere with this.

Assalam-o-Alaikum Yolkette,
What the fuck were you doing trolling on a Friday? Shouldn’t you be doing something else? If you are Islamic, why the fuck are you trolling bars alone?
Is there anyone you DON’T piss off?

Simply the most amazing thread I have ever read.

Paleotool is my fucking hero.

[quote]HolyMacaroni wrote:
Sick Rick wrote:

Yolked, look at the three dudes in your avatar. It doesn’t matter which of those wanksters you are, you look like shit.

Now look at Mac’s avatar. This dude has arms the size of your legs (plus his hands on a hot chick, not on some gay dudes in his bathroom).

You won’t win this.

remember rick i’ve just got big, non-functional muscles. there’s no way i could even dress myself, much less eject yolk’s indian ass onto the pavement. i’ve never heard of this strange art called ā€˜MMA’ or ā€˜BJJ’.

i’m gonna go back to my room and start practicing my ā€˜raining hammerfist’ defense.[/quote]

Didn’t i read somewhere you said you boxed for a while?

p.s. you should invite this guy to the combat sports room at the rec, i’d love to watch…

[quote]jahall wrote:

Didn’t i read somewhere you said you boxed for a while?

p.s. you should invite this guy to the combat sports room at the rec, i’d love to watch…[/quote]

yeah, boxing and kempo before I got into the army and learned combatives (mostly bjj). Currently i train jujitsu and keysi.

lol, just make sure you don’t bring your gf when he shows up, otherwise we’ll all end up getting our asses kicked.

Lads, take it easy here. He won a big fight, he has a right to brag, as matter of fact I’ve never told anyone this but…

I was at a bar once just minding my own business when about a dozen girls flocked over to me and started hitting on me. Well next thing their boyfriends/husbands walked over, wouldn’t ya know, the Aussie rugby team! Well even though they were bigger than me and swung first I got them all with a sweep kick and then side mounted (ghey!) and rained down hammerfist blows. Then Bruce Lee came in and I beat him too, and then I raped him in front of everyone. Ya, thats how butch and macho I am, I had rough anal sex with this guy in front of everyone in the bar.

There was this other time when God himself thought he could take me because he was all ā€œI’m Godā€ and all, but I showed him.

I mean being big and muscly (and omnipitent - spelling? :>) is great and all, but what’s the point when somebody can just make up a better story than you!

[quote]HolyMacaroni wrote:
jahall wrote:

Didn’t i read somewhere you said you boxed for a while?

p.s. you should invite this guy to the combat sports room at the rec, i’d love to watch…

yeah, boxing and kempo before I got into the army and learned combatives (mostly bjj). Currently i train jujitsu and keysi.

lol, just make sure you don’t bring your gf when he shows up, otherwise we’ll all end up getting our asses kicked.[/quote]

Who the fuck are you trying to kid? at your size you would be gassed out after 2 mins of rolling. Plus your flexibility would be shit.

And I would love to fight you and kick your ass all the way back to hong kong or china or wherever the hell you’re from.

How the fuck does an asian guy even survive in a place like alabama?