I knew growth hormone could cause enlarged facial features, bit this is RIDICULOUS!
The enlarged jaw and overgrown incisors on this years competitors were a clear indication that they were not testing for HGH at the fitness show.
in her latest attempt to hide her “5’o clock shadow”, she could only find one such mask that had a chin softer than a baby’s ass.
All this tanning really did a number on my skin 
SSSSSSomebody kill me!
(1) “Oh oh oh… hemroids, oh hemroids hurting, oh, oh…”
(2) The Extreme Vagina Monologs.
(3) “I?m letting the Vagisil dry.”
(4) “I want to fuck an Oomph Looma.”
(5) The drunk driving tests have gotten harder.
(6) “My biological clock is going off, now get over here.”
(7) You do the hokey pokey, and you turn yourself around…
FDA claims using ephedra makes you UGLY!
Mistakenly doreen thought the mask her boyfriend used to turn his wanker into “the hulk” would have some carry over to her fitness routine.
Grow! bars are coming! Grow! bars are coming!
Distraught from a recent defeat in the “World’s Strongest Man” competition, Canadian Geoff Dolan, armed only with a two-peice cowboy outfit and last year’s Halloween mask, takes on the women of the “Fitness America Pageant” vowing to never lose again.
Oh my God, gonorrhea grew limbs.
The proud introduction the new sponsor and image for GNC
“Headline: Investigation into steroid usage reveals telltale signs of roid rage, testicular shrinkage, and hair loss at the olympic tryout for male mexican gymnist.”
Note to T-MAG: You never announced the winner to the last “Beat our Caption” contest from Issue 291.
Diane revolutionized during-contest dieting with her patented face toning mask.
“I got this totally legit…years of hard work, training, and some guy from BALCO…”
The secret love child of Jim Carrey and Janet Jackson started working out!!
Thanks to all who entered! It was a tough choice but we went with Doctor0’s entry:
“Hi, my name is John Kerry and I am running for President.”
Congrats! Your T-shirt and bottle of Grow! are on the way!