Postponed squats for today. Back is all fucked up (knot the size of Montana where the glutes start to overlap the erectors), and don’t feel like chancing it right now. Did some thinking this weekend, and my concerns are my pulls and pushes. I will get my 700 pull and 400 bench by years end. If I squat 600 , I’ll be very pleased and shocked. This rut I’m in is going to take longer then expected with squats. Happened in high school as well. Just one day everything started clicking again.
Talked with Josh, and he is going to chat with Brian Dobson when he tentatively has the meet set up in December. Good chunk of my tax return will go into savings so I can make it down to Arlington. Would like to drive down with some peeps to save on gas money, but no one has shown interest up here…
Squats - worked up to 430x2 for a bunch of sets
More squat stuff
Abs
45 minutes of rolling, stretching, and hip mobility
Wasn’t what Josh prescribed. He can yell at me later. Suppose to be 2 sets of 5, but 275 felt really heavy warming up… Form was spot on though. Stood up, didn’t fall forward, and knees didn’t shoot in. Back held up as well. A confidence booster, but I have a long ways to go…
Deficit deads off 3" mat - worked up to 380x5 then kept lowering weight for a whole bunch more sets
Upper back work
Abs
30 minutes of rolling and stretching
Holy fuck my hamstrings… Hurts to even sit right now. Tells me I’m sitting back into the start really well at least. Nice to have a back that’s not hurting right now. Hoping Josh doesn’t get too upset about squats…
Buddy is doing really well. Worked on squats tonight. Used a box to teach him to sit back. Huge improvement in 15 minutes of working with him. He really needs to take my advice and get some wrestling shoes, or Chucks. His hamstring strength is an obvious issue, but like I told him, the best advice I can give is time and patience. When things start to pan out strength ratio wise in his legs, he will feel 100 times better, and things will start to click.
Bench - worked up to 285x8 for a couple
More bench stuff
Abs
30 minutes of rolling and stretching
Took a bit for the hamstrings to get loose. Once they did, I felt a million times better. Bench went very well. Wore the elbow sleeves, as not wanting to chance it 14 weeks out. Will see how the volume is when meet prep starts, and decide from there. May wear them up to 3-4 weeks out. Other then that, my buddy was sore as fuck from squats. Goal #1 achieved. ahahahahaha He did well with Military Press tonight. Next week I start getting him into his split. “Back into it” phase is almost over with.
Squats - worked up to 440x2 for a bunch of sets
Box squats
30 minutes rolling and stretching
Woke up Tuesday with my back all jacked up. Got it loose, and it felt good. The problem was the knee. Popped really good on the box squats, and about ate it. Hurt like a mother fucker. Oh well…
Deficit deads - worked up to 390x5 then kept dropping weight for a whole bunch more
Shrugs
30 minutes rolling and stretching
Pain from mid back, down the leg on the only set of shrugs I did. Called it. Couldn’t walk upright. Still can’t this morning. All this is doing is pissing me off, and makes me push harder. Then I’m forced to go to the doctor/ER…
Since I couldn’t get comfortable, I just laid there pondering wtf is going on. God damn mind fuck. There is something there that I just can’t grasp. I hate it, because I know it’s the answer. People just don’t understand that when I get quiet, I have about 5 questions I’m trying to answer in my head at once; not being a creeper. Then I get pissed at myself, because I can’t answer anything. I’m alot harder on myself then anyone can be to me. Someone can whack me with a bat, and if they didn’t kill me, I’ll get up laugh, and make them cry for mommy. Myself, though, I will mentally abuse myself badly. Just rapid fire insults, questioning my every move, etc. That will throw me in a slump, and then I will physically abuse myself in the gym (use to be alcohol among other things…). Now, I’m at that point again… I then realized, I traded one addiction, for another. Why must I be in pain constantly? Is it because during my intense cognitive time of life as a child, all I knew was abuse? The pain makes me feel human at least. Maybe it’s because I want to be strong(er) more on the mental side, and push the limits. See, god damn mind fuck. Being forced to hide things inside, I can’t come out and just say something. It takes me a week, sometimes years to actually have the question fully traverse my brain and get answered. If it’s anything, it will be this issue that will keep me from a meaningful relationship. Unless she understands how my thought process works, and can’t just talk about things without even I fully understanding something, I’m fucked… Guess it’s time for work. /End rant…
I’ve been debating how to respond. I’ll start with…I’m sorry that you had to go through the abuse, and I’m sorry that it’s not something that can be done and forgotten.
I’ve had similar thoughts about training-the motivation behind it. I had a hard time deciding if i was training TOWARD a goal, or if this training is a way of running away, hiding from things i’d rather not face. In the end, I decided it didn’t matter. We train because it is something we can control. Because it makes you feel alive. Train because it makes you powerful; in body and mind. When you train the power of your mind, you can control anything in your life. I think this is a growing process for you, and working through this will help you to be able to open up. And someday you will meet someone who maybe doesn’t exactly understand everything you’ve gone through, and that’s ok. But she will be open to helping you through it.
I’m sorry to hear the back is bad again. Maybe it’s time to take a couple weeks off, see a good PT and focus on imbalances that need fixing. I think this will become a problem you’ll always face, might as well fix it now while you’re young.
Thank you Lula. You are very sweet, and hit the jackpot on training. I do have control over it (well not all since I have Josh, but that was my choice, so my control actually), and I can do what I want with it. My choice to go beyond the pain limit, and fuck things up. My choice now to decide I want to proceed. That choice is that of anyone with an addiction, to keep doing it. I will nurse my wounds for they are livable, and go try my luck again. It’s deload next week, so I plan on lots of sauna/epsom salt baths. If I can find a tub will fit my long ass legs… I would die for a couple of weeks of PT, if I could afford it. Electric stim was a God send for me in high school. Looking to buying a tens unit though.
Training
5 minutes on bike
Dynamic stretching
Rotator cuff warm up
Bench - worked up to 225x3*
BB type shit for blood flow
30 minutes rolling and stretching
Knew bench would suck. Was suppose to be 295x8x2. 3rd rep of 225 didn’t budge off my chest. Physically, I’m broken. Rather it be my CNS with the deload coming up…
I know. Just a bandaid for now, until July. Last night couldn’t sleep again, so drew up a plan that I will present to Josh for after the meet in July. Involves lots and lots of rehab/mobility/agility work. Do that for a month, and get ready for the meet in December.
I know you better. You aren’t done. hehe. Go have some fun this weekend. I know your spirits are down too. Get away from the books for a bit this weekend. Once I’m done working weekends, my ass will be out in the town for a night for the first time in about a year…
Hey, thought I would creep in here becauase I follow lula around all the time.
I totally understand what you’re saying about trading addictions. I have never been addicted to drugs or anything of that sort, but I get addicted to everything that I am passionate about. I never just ‘like’ things a healthy amount.
If I feel guilty about something like say… not doing enough school work, I destory myself in the gym. I will spend over two hours there and I just will NOT let myself leave. I pretend it’s because I just love being there and I am simply enjoying my free time, but I get flippin’ exhausted. I want to get the fuck home, but some weird rep or set happened that was imperfect so I make myself re do it.
One extra set
then one more extra set
yadda yadda.
ADDICT.
Brains are hard to control sometimes. Why on earth do I treat myself like crap?? NO flippin’ clue, but learning about it and becoming self-aware is a HUGE accomplishment.
Bascially, it’s good to think about the why’s and the rationalities.
I dunno… I am rambling.
DOn’t wanna dump in yo’ log, but I’ll probably be following along from time to time
Welcome aboard Spock. Don’t feel like you are just “dumping in.” We are one happy (with angry out bursts from time to time) family here.
Never beat myself up over school work really. Always did really well. But it’s the same thing. I don’t want to let anyone down. My Dad raised me to help others no matter what. I sacrifice my personal life alot to help out the ones close to me. At work, I’m really bad. Ask any of my coworkers, and they barely work when I’m here. I don’t want to miss anything, and on top of it as soon as the issue comes in. I take the shit shifts, for others to have fun (and I don’t want to hear them bitch like little girls) on the weekends and such. I don’t give myself anything really, except the gym. That’s my baby. Well, and Dargo. But… You get my point. That’s why it gets frustrating sometimes, and when people ask why I keep going. I ask them truthfully, if they were given one thing to really be passionate about, what would they do. get the 40 mile stare usually…
Sitting at work, being bored, noticed Josh post up a phone interview. Sean Katterle, a powerlifting promoter, doing the Ronnie Coleman Classic again this year. Same event where Magnusson made 1015 look like 500 lbs. I listened to the whole thing, and it really hit home. Brought me back to my roots on how he views things with the powerlifting world. Yes, one day I want to lift geared, but Raw is my bread and butter. Sean mentions nobody has walked out a 1000 lb squat, and went below parallel. There is a goal. No one has raw totaled 2500. Another one. With gear, you have advantages, with some disadvantages. But still, you lift a fuck ton more weight. Here is the link. RX Power Hour: (2/17/11): Powerlifting Promoter Sean Katterle! I recommend you listen to it, even if you aren’t competing. He really does bring up some good points.
Ok, done ranting. I should write a damn book one day. “Koubanation: Civilization of Off World Rants”
@Nadia - Nice to see you around. I know. I don’t have time to get healthy though. I’m going to end up like my Dad, I can see it now.
Deload squats today. Worked up to 200x5 for a couple. Did a few more things, and rolled/stretched. Got my Monster Stick yesterday from Elite. Thing is awesome. Able to hit my back and legs way better with it. Knots in my adductors big time. Also the distal end of my hamstrings are bad too. Rolling 4 times a day right now. Also, might have found why I’m so high strung. Knots all over in my neck/traps. I hurts to move my head right now…
Now for something that may change my outlook on the upcoming meets. Took my dog out to the river last week, and he got loose. After running after him (in my underwear no less as I was ready to jump into the 30 degree river after him), I knew I did something. After the swelling has gone down some today, my suspicions are correct. I can still squat, bench, and deadlift fine. Walking is a way different story. I have it taped, and it’s not bad. But, if I fall forward on my squat/deadlift, it’s going to be bad especially with squats. Bench not sure, as I haven’t taken anything over 300 yet with it. I could go to the doctor, but I know what they will do, and nothing for at least a month in the gym. Plus, I’ll have a nice bill racked up, and going to Texas in December is definitely not happening. Will ponder, and run it by Josh. May have to go old school, and splint it myself. Times like this make me glad I’m single, otherwise I would be dragged to the hospital… Will ponder on it for the week. It’s not like I’ve never played 3 games on a broken one before.
BTW, if you haven’t guessed, it’s a broken foot. Right 4th metatarsal to be exact. Will be the 3rd time I’ve broken it. Begin the Nazi Police of “you need to go in to the doctor.” Like I said last week, I’m at the breaking point somewhere.
