I had trepidation over starting such a thread for some time. I have read several times people’s dismay for division, which I cannot wrap my head around. And that is because I do not see any good reason for people who dislike each other or each other’s ways, even because of irrational reasons, to be forced to live together.
This can be explained at a very simple level. Imagine if I were a neighbor from hell. I play loud music and threw large parties until 3:00 AM, keeping you from falling asleep. I smoke pot, and you don’t, and you frequently smelled the stuff coming from my backyard as I smoke it daily. You routinely overhear yelling from my home. My kids are foul-mouthed trouble makers. Menacing, flamboyant people visit the home. You try to make nice and invite me over for an Easter; I show up in sandals and shorts and reek of pot, embarrassing you in front of your guests.
You don’t want to make me feel uncomfortable and don’t want confrontation but you can’t continue on with this neighbor from hell! So you catch me one day throwing out the garbage, chat me up a bit, and blurt out, “Hey buddy, that loud music, can you keep it lower and shut it down earlier? I have young kids here. I have work; I need sleep. And who are these sketchy looking people coming by all the time? And the arguments I’m overhearing; I’m thinking you’re gonna crack your woman one day! And the pot—I smell that stuff all day! And you have no control over your kids! Look, I want peace. Can we just just tone this all down?”
I reply, “Oh, sorry about all that. I mean, this is how I’ve always lived. This is just how we are. Everyone from my hometown is like this.”
“Well this is not your hometown. This is not normal behavior.
“What do you means, it’s not normal? Everyone I grew up with does this.
“It ain’t normal here pal!”
“OK, I get it. I’ll try to tone everything down.”
So I go back home and everyone and I start to adjust our ways for you, Mr. Square, working stiff, and your tightwad friends and family members. But it doesn’t last long. Eventually all the annoying ways come back in drops and drabs. I want to respect you and everyone else’s requests, but I’m feeling constrained. My true self is being stifled. I figure that perhaps I belong in a different town, where people are like me, instead of inevitably inviting conflict.
A few weeks later I put my house on the market. Do you feel relieved, knowing that this debacle will soon end? Or do you try to convince me to stay so you can indefinitely scold me for my way of doing things, creating indefinite strife?
Do you want to unite with me? Why? So you can continually try to control and browbeat me?
You get the picture, even though my example might not be great.
Thoughts?
I suppose Balkanization can be done along several characteristics: lifestyle, beliefs, gender, sexual orientation race, ethnicity, political orientation, economics, and/or religion.
Obviously, as you know, in the Balkans, people Balkanized over ethnicity and religion. Cramming mutually hostile groups together in Yugoslavia proved to be disastrous, with a big human cost.
Share your thoughts? If you are for unity, maybe you can share why you want unity with people who you don’t like, or perhaps like, but who ways you don’t want imposed on you.