Sounds like you’re stressed. Sorry to hear that things are tough. Can you reasonably expect thibgs to be less frustrating soon?
My work life is significantly less stressful because I no longer have to take classes on top of it. Frustration stems more from being in a slight deficit, which kills my sleep quality, an almost irresistable urge to go on vacation, sucking at pressing, and occasional existential crisis. So things that are more in my control, hahaha
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Well one of those you can control and maybe should.
Who doesn’t appreciate a good ol’ existential crisis a few times a week, eh?
Nahy talking about the deficit obviously.
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I’m already experiencing symptoms that don’t usually occur until I’m 3-4 pounds lighter than currently. But I’ve still set some PRs lately, so I don’t know if I really need to change course there. I’m also trying to be in a good place to start focus on hypertrophy in early July or so. Probably just need to accept it and push through.
I know we all have our internal struggles and that the thought of leaning out can sort of quell them, but what I saw on your progress pictures didn’t look like anyone that needs to be in a deficit. I think my limit for being in a deficit is 1 month at a time. Anything more and my anxiety gets crippling and sleep/recovery/libido are about as inadequate as Hitler’s genitals.
Not sure if I’ve mentioned it in here, but passionflower has been a game changer for me from an anxiety standpoint. Doesn’t really alter you mentally, but takes the edge off with no side effects (unless you use way too much, which will hang you over like melatonin).
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Given everything I know through reading this log and what you’ve stated about your goals, I would respectfully disagree but then again this decision is solely up to you.
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I can relate!
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I am convinced that however long I’m into serious lifting I will be eating like a madman. Every time I have intentionally cut calories it has crushed me. Forever on the gain train, chugging away.
@Bagsy maybe it’s a sign to ease off the gas a little or start adding a little bit of food back in?
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I may be overly critical, but keep in mind that the photos are flexed and did not show lower body.
I prefer shorter and more severe deficits, but they definitely produce more symptoms.
I take magnesium and vitamin D religiously, and my nutrition is pretty on point. Deficits just kill my sleep altogether. I doubt another supplement would make a difference, but I’ll look into it since I need to buy more magnesium soon anyway.
You guys might be right, but it’s really only about a month in the grand scheme of things. And since the T-ransformation Challenge ends soon and my physique looks mostly the same, shedding some bodyfat is what would make the difference.
Ah, the perks of not being short and or female 
That I have made some PRs lately tells me I haven’t been doing “too much” though. And I’ve spent 2021 at essentially the same BW, so it’s not like I recently lost five pounds or something.
I admit I’m the classic wheel-spinner because I’ve spent most of my lifting years maintaining the same physique and numbers on the bar, and I think people are too nice to point it out 
I do want to somehow effect more radical change, but the timing isn’t right until July.
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It me!
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I disagree with this being weakness. I recall distinctly that the (milder) restrictions we had here, in my country, proved adequate to illicit the same response in people here. Exercise makes us feel good, and not all forms have equal appeal.
Some were bereft of the social aspect (martial artists, dancers, ball sports, …) whereas the same cannot be necessarily said for a weightlifter. However, having a routine of getting out of the apartment is necessary for a lot of people and their well-being. Also, unlike practicioners of other sports those that lift tend ot have a planned progression and many of us do tend to react viscerally at times when we’re forced off our planned path.
My point is, seeing as I saw this expressed in many people, either we are all weak or it isn’t weakness. I’d rather see it as a sign of passion.
I don’t know what your numbers are but, maybe you’ve pegged your expectations on the upper end of where they should be, reasonably.
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That’s essentially why I think cutting is unecessary. Well that and the symptoms you’re experiencing
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I might have missed this but what goals do you have @Bagsy that is supported by cutting?
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I am going to second others here and say I see no reason for a cut. You are in excellent shape and getting stronger, keep that up. Unless you want to be really lean and compete that is.
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Keep up the good work! You’ve made incredible progress this past year !
Ohhh boy… I’ve had multiple meltdowns over not having access to a barbell. My parents just think I’m crazy lol 
Agree
I’d rather be dead than unable to move
You probably started this cut with more muscle and less fat than previously
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You’re right. I can’t blame myself too much for reacting that way. I bet my roommate thought I was a lunatic when I bought a stand, barbell, and plates to store on the tiny balcony and in the closet. But I’m glad I live alone now and have a basement gym instead. Thankfully people on this forum understand, hahaha.
I know I’m doing a little better than the average woman who steps in the weightroom. My issue is not with the numbers themselves but that they move so painfully slowly.
I think I need to gain weight more aggressively, so I was planning to be in a deficit for a month or so to start off a touch leaner.
I think you and others know why that is.
Eh, maybe, but I don’t think so. Will see when I take pics in about a week though.
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I think I need to gain weight, so I’m going to lose weight.
That’s the quintessence of what you’re saying. Seems a tad counterintuitive to me, haha.
You’ll start out feeling more depleted, with worse recovery due to lack of sleep and stress and if you keep at it for too long, weaker too.
I’m not a diet guru but I am either not seeing or completely missing the point.
Since you like science, Stronger by Science did a pretty cool review about p- ratios when gaining.
It’s very well written, well researched and I think you might find it very interesting
(can’t link it b/c forum rules)
Some coaches think it’s a good idea. Dan John definitely recommends leaning out before embarking on an aggressive training and weight gain phase. He thinks the rebound effect is actually positive. Mentally it helps to give myself some leeway because, well, gaining one pound looks very different on my frame from that on a larger male.
Plus my current program is not super demanding, so I also rather save a caloric surplus when it is more “necessary.” I might try taking a short vacation in about a month anyway, so I don’t want to start something that necessitates a lot of mental and physical fortitude for 1-2 weeks to then have to pause.
I don’t feel a month is super long.
I’m familiar, thanks. I actually don’t care much for scientific studies on lifting because, well, I read enough papers every day and prefer to protect that mental energy. Sounds lazy, yes. But I would not want to waste it on a field not super worth the time when common sense and experience tell us probably all we need to know. That’s not to say that common sense and science are mutually exclusive here, but I think the better studies probably confirm what we already know. Then there are many variables that cannot be controlled, much more than other fields imho.
Some studies are definitely higher quality than others, yet I also know it’s not that difficult for a PhD candidate to crank out a sloppy 6-10 week study simply to ensure they have something to defend and can walk away with their degree.
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