I always thought karma determined what you’d be in your next life.
Like if you’re good and live well, you come back as one of EmilyQ’s dogs. Thats what I’m hoping for.
Or if you’re bitter and evil you come back as a dung beetle in a zoo where the elephants are fed a lot of peanuts.
And I’ve experienced the existence of the blue knife lady with 8 arms, when I ordered the stuff with 
that beside it on the menu. She came flying out my chakra with a vengance!
I’m going to start logging my activity and symptoms as I start to get better. May as well call this an endometriosis recovery log 
Today was my most active day since surgery. 4700 steps (not all in one go, of course). I didn’t think I would be this sedentary at this point, but it is what it is. I did manage to do some cleaning today. The incisions hurt a lot less now. Nothing like the first couple days when just trying to move would make me tear up. I still get tired quickly though.
I must say it’s been a bit of a mindfuck with my bladder. Of course, it’s very early to make any definitive conclusions given the ongoing healing from surgery and recent trauma, and I am hydrating a bit less because I’m not active right now. But I thought it was just normal for me to need to urinate every 20-30 minutes for 2-5 times after drinking something. I have no idea how many times I used to pee in a day, but I know it was a lot. At the same time I kinda knew that needing to get up at night/very early morning 3-5 times to pee depending on the time of month was not ideal. Still, it was just a personal inconvenience. I would have to hold myself back in social situations to avoid having to go to the restroom all the time.
That’s all gone now though. It’s hard because I’ve had a lot of anxiety since coming home without a catheter. I was told to do timed urination every two hours. I start to panic when I can’t or barely can pee, thinking my bladder stopped working. But I think I just don’t have to go. It’s a big change.
This IUD is really testing me though. I hope sticking with it is worth it because the cramps have been gnarly, and I have passed a blood clot. My uterus is barely large enough for it, so let’s hope it doesn’t get expelled. My bradycardia gets even worse when I bleed too. Yay for RHR of 41.
Finally, I guess my last “symptom” for today is disappointment. The biopsy results came back, and they were all negative for endometriosis. Positive only for “chronic inflammation.” From what I read, false negatives are not uncommon with the biopsy. I don’t think my surgeon would have been so definitive during her phone call with me; it sounds like my lesions were pretty textbook. I’ll see what she says next week.
Road to recovery begins. It’s been a long haul. I hadn’t caught up since before the surgery. What a ride since then!
You’re tough as nails.
It’s wild that sometimes, even at an ER, you have to EFFING LOSE IT to get seen, you have to advocate for yourself so hard because the SYSTEM just isn’t set up for unusual situations - like yours. So the path of least resistance for the staff, generally, is to just do nothing and let you sit there suffering.
It’s part of the human condition. Mine was pretty much just about recovering from heart stuff. Ups, downs, and everything in between.
You never know who may see it, identify with your experience, and be helped by it.
So this sent me back last night to reread the Pets thread starting when Buttons came, and oh man, what a nice visit. Thank you for saying that. It’s an incredible compliment. One of the best I’ve gotten. Right up there with husband putting “fast runner” and “knowing lots of words” on a list of things he loves about me.
A little over 10k steps today! These included a morning walk outside, one mile on the treadmill at 1.5% incline, and a short walk this evening to the grocery store where I made a surprising impulse purchase—CBD balm—and got to enjoy the employee’s heightened and perhaps warranted suspicion as she scrutinized the driver’s license of a 28-year-old woman who maybe overdid it today one week after surgery and looks a little distraught, and, most importantly, 12 years old.
I think it was about the right amount of activity though. I think I’m going to go to work in person briefly tomorrow and surprise my co-workers for a meeting. I worked for four hours today and am probably more tired from that. My core got tired on the treadmill, but it felt good and I went pretty slow. It’s the pain from this IUD now and not really from the incisions that bothers me. I wish it would end soon. Though the goal is to end my periods again, it’s nice that traditional painkillers and natural remedies actually help these cramps in the meantime. As they should. I’ve learned to associate cyclical discomfort with the untouchable endo pain, which is not healthy physically or mentally.
I decided just for today to not take the one medication I was prescribed for overactive bladder and even though I felt my old urination habits coming back a bit, there’s still a noticeable difference compared to before. 
I don’t mind unsolicited rambles! Rationally, I can agree with you. There is still a tiny part of me that believes there is a rhyme or reason to maybe not all things but at least some. And I believe the extent to which someone agrees with your ramblings depends also on how much they feel they are in control of their own life, not necessarily in a divine sense.
Appreciate your comment.
Not sure I love what I did in my past life… but that doesn’t sound too bad. I’ll have to think about that the next time I am on the verge of doing something not so nice…
Thanks, that means a lot from you!
It is really messed up. This is the only ER I’ve visited in the area, and I already knew that it’s difficult to be seen. It’s in an urban setting, so the demographics and timeliness differ slightly from a more suburban ER too. But I go there due to proximity, familiarity, you know. Plus in this case there was a chance I’d be able to go to be transferred to someone who supports my surgeon, which turned out to be true. I just didn’t expect to be ignored while I was the only one in the waiting room sobbing. It was even more insulting that the ER staff who finally decided to notice then took me back into a room to touch my bladder and “test” how full it is. As if I were screaming over 200 ml in my bladder.
Just under 5k steps. I decided to be funny and surprise my co-workers in person for a meeting, but I honestly just felt so crummy afterwards that my friend picked me up and drove me home. Didn’t help that I had to carry my backpack either.
Yesterday evening I had even worse cramps, which then returned at 1 AM and kept me up for three hours. Then they came back this afternoon, and my incisions are a bit more sore today (probably from all I did yesterday). I also just sobbed for the first time since Saturday. I guess it’s a combination of the anesthesia still wearing off and simultaneously feeling so clingy and annoying to others (my friends and my surgeon especially) yet also so neglected. I need to do a better job of distracting myself this weekend.
7k steps.
Cleaned my whole apartment and walked two miles at 2% incline on the treadmill. Going to be sore tomorrow, but it’s okay. I’ve been able to wean myself off of NSAIDs a bit. I’m also really excited because I went almost seven hours without needing to pee today (and not dehydrating myself at the same time). I’m really emotional about it, what a huge increase in quality of life.
I take lasix as part of my meds stack, and I Hate that stuff. It went from “oh well, just part of the program” to “I hate this” over the last few years. It doesn’t seem like it would be a big deal until it is.
Glad you’ve found some significant relief! 
This strikes me as being overkill. One or the other? Okay. But both? Why? (I mean, I know why. I guess I’m being passive-aggressive. So let me rephrase it: slow down! The walk can wait. So can deep cleaning! Heal, so you don’t further muddy things with unnecessary symptoms.)
My apartment isn’t very big 
in general, it’s not good to be so sedentary after a lap, and I’m not in pain while walking. I bring things to an end when I start to get tired. But it’s really a normal level of activity at this many days post-op. I’m certain my surgeon would approve. I definitely knew when I could not go for Walks after coming home. I was extremely bedridden when I knew I had to be (and honestly, nurses told me last weekend that I was not being active enough). Honestly, today is the best I’ve felt since pre-op. But yes, I also do get kind of antsy just sitting around doing nothing, and that plays a role.
Okay, I shall stand down immediately. Carry on with my (completely unnecessary) approval! lol
I appreciate the concern though given my tendencies. I’ve really leaned into recovery a lot more this time around. Probably because everything has been a lot more involved physically and emotionally. So, I’m actually unbothered by whether I will return to lifting by week X post-op. I’m surprisingly okay with it.
Still, I have no one in real life to keep me in check 
so if I start logging ten-mile walks next week, I encourage someone to tell me to stop!
I do really look forward to being able to take longer walks and go to the park though. Maybe in 1.5-2 weeks from now. It helps that the weather still sucks here.
Same! I was really helped by @QuadQueen when I speculated that maybe resting was a better choice (when it was obviously the better choice, haha) and she said “every day and twice on Sundays.”
They did this to me too during my couple of recovery stints. I take that to mean that they care. 
.
I feel compelled to get stronger after injury too. It’s just something deep in there that says I might have to fight a bear or take out some enormous amount of garbage.
Its hard to feel un-capable or that you aren’t doing enough, what ever enough may be.
My best friend has said this to me a few times and even told my other best friend who lives on the other side of the country that she doesn’t like how I refused her help. Honestly, I think she in a weird way welcomed my stay in the hospital because it meant she could stop by and be useful. I had to let her care at that point. Even my co-workers wanted to help me and I 100% refused their help.
It’s hard because I realized through all this how wonderful yet how painful it can be to be taken care of. By my surgeon, by my friends. I want to do everything by myself, and I more or less have. In fact, my friend and I always lie that she’ll spend the first 24 hours with me after surgery when in reality I just tough it out myself. This time I understood why that rule was established. I obviously survived despite it all, but all this did really sadden me for various reasons that I shall not go into 
I read somewhere that after surgery you should conduct yourself as if you’re recovering from a swordfight. That you lost. 
So I think this response is quite natural for, like, vengeance purposes.
I had to bite the bullet a good bit. I’m the care takER, not the care takEE. . I really was though for quite a few years when my brother broke his neck. I stepped into that role at 15 and it kinda became a part of my identity.
Then, my one brother actually jumped on a flight and came back from Japan, drove up from Virginia, and made sure all was good. I was flabbergasted. He definitely perked me up & helped a lot cuz my wife was devastated. After her brief crisis management mode wore off, she was scared.
Thats about right. . Walk softly. No big sneezing fits, etc.
It’s been a while since I’ve had time to get in here and catch up and I just want to say that you are a trooper, an incredibly STRONG trooper. This whole situation has just been A LOT - even just to read, so I can’t imagine having to go through it alone. Keep on trucking and remember to give yourself some grace in this recovery period. Rest won’t hurt you and it may be exactly what you need to recover faster and to come back stronger. Really listen to your body. Now is not the time to be a hero (also, you already are after having gone through all of that).
I am send you big hugs and even though you’re not religious, you’re gonna be in my prayers, so just deal with it. As always, I am here (and also alone) if you need anything or just want somebody to talk to and/or tell bad jokes.
Thank you, that means a lot. I know I’m far from the only one on this forum who has experienced hardships though
Haha, I don’t mind. I’m even flattered.
I appreciate you 