8/5
Dips
+15x11,9
+10x12
BWx14,16
Lateral raises
BB curl 40x16,14
The weirdest part about the MRI was getting home at nearly 10:30 PM. Hoping to have the result tomorrow or Thursday.
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Was this your first MRI? So loud! I took a couple of xanax and had a reasonably good time but i definitely understand why people don’t like them
I volunteered to do an MRI for a research study in college, but this was my first “real” one.
Did they give you headphones to help drown out the noise and entertain yourself? I was able to listen to my favorite band and honestly didn’t think it was bad at all. Lasted about 50 minutes. It honestly was quite comfortable and relaxing to just lay there 
I think I’m just not a claustrophobic person in general. Maybe it helps that I’m already a small person. Plus knowing that I could request to stop at any moment helped. I was more anxious about the IV being inserted, which took three tries. The contrast made me feel a little off afterwards, but it wasn’t scary at all.
Next, I’ll probably find out that nothing showed up but that I owe $5000 just to relax at our hospital’s medical center!
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If you can’t get comfy sleep, absolutely do so! I did so rather recently myself. Worth it.
Oh how cool! What do you do?
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I have had a number of them and I routinely fall asleep. xD I never was offered headphones though.
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Speak of the devil! 
I just got the MRI result back.
Mild thickening of the left peritoneal surface which may refect
fibrotic endometriosis.
FINDINGS:
Uterus and Vagina: Uterus is anteroverted and neutrally flexed. No
evidence of adenomyosis or uterine fibroids. Vagina is normal.
Ovaries: Normal follicles in both ovaries. No suspicious adnexal
lesion.
Pelvic Cavity: No free fluid. Mild T2 hypointense thickening of the
left peritoneal surface (series 9: imag16). No T1 hyperintense
deposits seen in the pelvis.
Bladder: Normal
Bowel: Normal
Other Findings: No suspicious osseous lesion. No lymphadenopathy.
I’m so shocked and grateful that something suspicious was found. My provider already messaged me offering to discuss with me on the phone tomorrow morning. Now I know I am at least not making up everything. 
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To be somewhat vague, my work is related to arthritis. 
What kind of degree do you have/ is your phd based on?
Right now I have earned only a bachelor’s 
If I understand you correctly, you’re asking me what my field is. I’m in bioengineering.
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8/6
Biked 20 km to commute and run errands.
Had severe GI distress yesterday and Saturday night, and I’m not sure why. Maybe I have some sort of stomach bug. Consuming lots of broth, tea, and apple sauce just in case.
More rambling! After the past few days, I think I can be more at peace for the next several weeks and hopefully dump my brain here a little less.
Today I chatted with my provider, who is great. They thought the thickening on the MRI almost looked like scar tissue, acknowledging my previous surgery from 2022. But they admitted it would be super unlikely for scar tissue to end up there on the peritoneum. And at my appointment last month they laughed when I said my previous surgeon told me it was scar tissue, even though it was obvious that my pain was cyclical. This surgeon feels it is perfectly reasonable to perform an operation to see what’s going on. So, now I’m just waiting for their office to call me within seven business days to schedule it. Probably won’t be until early October though.
I noted it’s weird that my symptoms occur on the right side, but the MRI picked up something on the left. We both agreed I could have superficial lesions on the right side that wouldn’t be detected without a lap. They said they’ll pay close attention to my appendix and just remove it if there is any endo on it, which could well be the case with right-sided pain.
This week has been incredibly validating, and I am in a better mood because of it. It’s still sad though because, well, I just don’t see myself as someone with endometriosis. And it’s just a reminder that being a woman is fucking awful a lot of the time. Lots of people have endo for whatever unknown reasons, but I feel like I do pretty much everything “right” health-wise and yet here I am. Sometimes I tell myself that this developed maybe when I was a teenager and only now made me symptomatic despite my good choices in adulthood. Or it’s the mold, haha. Or it’s because of the iron deficiency I had. I hate how almost nothing is known about this disease and very few people seem to want to change that. My advisor and I discussed this on Monday, and now they think I should pursue endo research, hahaha.
It is what it is though. I’m not afraid of the surgery at all. Sure, not being able to lift for about a month will suck, but I remember my last recovery and it wasn’t bad at all. I’ll just enjoy walking a lot this fall. Above all, I’m afraid of it somehow coming back worse in X number of years and affecting my hobbies, career, and relationships. Hoping I’m one of the lucky ones who gets relief for at least five years.
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I had a session a couple of hours ago with a well-employed biologist type (so not a kook or an idiot) who mentioned endo in the context of a family situation, and noted severe anemia (in so much pain and so anemic, she couldn’t do XYZ) as a complication of the endo, if I understood her correctly. I didn’t probe because that’s not what we’re here for, but thought I’d pass it on.
That’s so, so hard. Truly. I got a taste of having both endo and anemia over the past several weeks and really felt unable to function in society, but neither of them was like how it was when it was at its worst. I cannot imagine having peak endo pain (truly the most painful thing I have ever experienced) and peak anemia at the same time.
It’s not surprising. I believe a majority of those with endo are also deficient in iron. It’s obvious by visiting any online community for the disease.
The hard part is trying to determine if the iron deficiency caused the estrogen dominance, or if the estrogen dominance caused the iron deficiency. It’s probably a vicious circle. Or perhaps the iron has nothing to do with it in my case.
She definitely seemed to be attributing the deficiency to the endo. Just the way she phrased it.
It’s possible! But I don’t think anyone can say for sure (yet I still speculate about myself). Plenty of people have/had iron deficiency anemia and don’t develop endo.
Based on my reading, it seems like most who suffer from symptoms actually had them ever since starting menstruation, and those who develop symptoms later in life like me were typically on hormonal birth control for many years, which probably masked the issue they had all along. I fall into neither camp.
Sorry about the person your client mentioned though! I really hope she can get the care she deserves soon.
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8/10
SSB squat 65x4x10+ (15)
OHP 40x4x10+ (16)
BW BSS 3x10
T-bar row +30x16,16,18
Standing ab wheel 2x5
Adductor stuff
Me less than two months ago: I’m done squatting with a barbell
Also me:
I don’t know. I kind of miss lifting heavy. I have to move all my lifting stuff soon, so I’m not going to start something for real, so I’m just trialing a SBS hypertrophy program. Not sure what I want to do yet. Maybe I’ll try the strength version before I pack up my things.
My physical therapist told me on Thursday that I’m in really good shape and that my symptoms are almost certainly caused by just the endo. My pelvic floor strength-wise is fine. They are super happy that I lift. But I think going into the surgery having loaded my core a bit more than I have recently can’t hurt.
I think I’m frustrated with squatting and leg movements in general because I’m actually very self-conscious of my legs lately. I do feel like my legs are holding more bodyfat since about two years ago even though the rest of my proportions seem more or less the same, and maybe that’s when I started developing endo. It sounds like body dysmorphia, but I think I’m being fairly objective. I don’t attribute it solely to gaining weight over the past year or so. At the end of the day it’s probably worth doing a variety of movements and weights on top of losing some bodyweight to address the issue. I’m definitely on the ninth hole of my belt, which means I’m making progress on my cut. It’s maybe not as fast as I’d like, but I’m not feeling too deprived.
Was supposed to do a VO2 max workout on the bike, but I don’t really feel like it… 
Oh well, I just finished the cycle without cutting too many corners and am excited to deload this week. I’m on the up since starting the B12, folate, and zinc supplements, but I still have phases of fatigue like now. Still haven’t felt 100% “there” since mid-June. At least my hair is returning a bit, so I was right. Gotta love being your own doctor.
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8/12
Pull-ups 11(!),8
Deadlift 140x2x10+(12)
Push press 55x2x10
BPA 3x20
Shoulders were really sore in a not so good way today. I think I am going to deload from lifting for a bit.
BC continues to make me feel bad in a slightly different way. Can’t be 100% sure it isn’t my supplements, but I don’t think they are the culprit. Anyway, I think my blood pressure is too low because my pulse is chronically lower than usual, my hands are slightly numb, and I just feel spacey like I could pass out during meetings. Brain fog persists. I’m considering taking a break from the hormones for 3-4 days even if I may bleed and feel pain. 
It’s been over three months of taking it nonstop, so I hope it could do the trick.
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8/13
I kinda missed riding the trainer, as weird as that sounds.
It feels like my mood and brain fog have lifted a bit today by not taking my pill. I guess that’s both good and bad, hahaha.
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8/14
8/16
Pull-ups 8,8,7
Press 45x4x10+ (13)
Dips 12,10,12
Curls 45x12,12,10
BPA 3x20
Lateral raises
Walked/jogged six miles. My toe is feeling a lot better but not quite 100% yet. It really started healing faster since starting to remedy the vitamin deficiency though.
It’s been a rough week staying up late several nights in a row working on paper revisions, which I finally submitted yesterday… on the deadline. Should be accepted and published soon, and it’s nice to have that weight off of me. But now I get to stress about moving, which was supposed to happen this weekend but is pushed back until Wednesday and probably for the better because I haven’t really packed anything yet.
It’s been bittersweet the past few days to feel the fog and dark clouds lift since taking a break from BC… I didn’t realize it was affecting me that much. Like, today I felt this weird renewed enthusiasm for lifting. Then I chatted with my Azerbaijani tutor/friend in Russian for two hours and it brought me so much joy. Then I went outside and it felt like the heat warning couldn’t put a dent in my mood. So, I guess I’m dependent on a medication that sucks the life out of me. At least I know it’s not just me…
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