Badass Ways to Die

Off Topic
61

[quote]NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
masonator wrote:
Jump out of a plane with no parachute.

A parachute not opening… that’s a way to die. Getting caught in the gears of a combine… having your nuts bit off by a Laplander, that’s the way I wanna go.

It’s true what they say: Cops and women don’t mix. It’s like eating a spoonful of Drano, sure it’ll clean you out, but it’ll leave you hollow inside.

Wilma, I promise you; whatever scum did this, not one man on this force will rest one minute before until he’s behind bars. Now, let’s grab a bite to eat.

Entering without a search warrant, destroying property, arson, sexual assault with a concrete dildo… what the hell’s got into you, Frank?

Ed: Yeah, but going into Ludwig’s office without a warrant, you’re taking a big chance.
Frank: I know. You take a chance getting up in the morning, crossing the street or sticking your face in a fan.

Frank: It’s a topsy-turvy world, and maybe the problems of two people don’t amount to a hill of beans. But this is our hill. And these are our beans!

I’d known her for years. We used to go to all the police functions together. Ah, how I loved her, but she had her music. I think she had her music. She’d hang out with the Chicago Male Chorus and Symphony. I don’t recall her playing an instrument or be able to carry a tune. Yet she was on the road 300 days of the year. In fact I bought her a harp for christmas. She asked me what it was.

Frank: Jane, since I’ve met you I’ve noticed things that I never knew were there before; birds singing, dew glistening on a newly formed leaf, stoplights.

Jane: I wanted you to know, now, I’ve loved you since the first day I met you, and I’ll never stop. I’m a very lucky woman.
Frank: So am I…

Mayor: Now Drebin, I don’t want any trouble like you had on the South Side like last year, that’s my policy.
Frank: Well, when I see five weirdos dressed in togas, stabbing a man in the middle of the park in front of a full view of 100 people, I shoot the bastards, that’s my policy.
Mayor: That was a Shakesphere In The Park Production of Julius Caesar, you moron! You killed five actors! Good ones!
[/quote]

Protecting the Queen’s safety is a task that is gladly accepted by Police Squad. No matter how silly the idea of having a queen might be to us, as Americans we must be gracious and considerate hosts.

62

[quote]NateOrade wrote:

Mayor: Now Drebin, I don’t want any trouble like you had on the South Side like last year, that’s my policy.
Frank: Well, when I see five weirdos dressed in togas, stabbing a man in the middle of the park in front of a full view of 100 people, I shoot the bastards, that’s my policy.
Mayor: That was a Shakesphere In The Park Production of Julius Caesar, you moron! You killed five actors! Good ones!
[/quote]
Also have to use the Dirty Harry quote:

Harry Callahan: Well, when an adult male is chasing a female with intent to commit rape, I shoot the bastard. That’s my policy.
The Mayor: Intent? How did you establish that?
Harry Callahan: When a naked man is chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher’s knife and a hard-on, I figure he isn’t out collecting for the Red Cross!
[walks out of the room]
The Mayor: He’s got a point.

63

[quote]masonator wrote:
What the fuck is wrong with you??? Why would you look for this?? I’m not joking. Seek counciling. [/quote]

Since this thread is turning into a quote-mine, allow me to add:

“STAY THE FUCK IN OKLAHOMA!”

64

Anybody want to tell me where Nate’s and Zap’s quotes are coming from?

65

[quote]ukrainian wrote:
Anybody want to tell me where Nate’s and Zap’s quotes are coming from?[/quote]

Naked Gun.

66

[quote]Zap Branigan wrote:
ukrainian wrote:
Anybody want to tell me where Nate’s and Zap’s quotes are coming from?

Naked Gun.[/quote]

Ha! Youngin wasn’t even born when that movie came out.

67

[quote]Uncle Gabby wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
ukrainian wrote:
Anybody want to tell me where Nate’s and Zap’s quotes are coming from?

Naked Gun.

Ha! Youngin wasn’t even born when that movie came out.[/quote]

Actually, I saw the second and third one, but never the first one. Now I have to go and watch them all.

68

Apollo Creed vs. One of the badest aliens of all time:

69
70
71

[quote]Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
masonator wrote:
Jump out of a plane with no parachute.

A parachute not opening… that’s a way to die. Getting caught in the gears of a combine… having your nuts bit off by a Laplander, that’s the way I wanna go.

It’s true what they say: Cops and women don’t mix. It’s like eating a spoonful of Drano, sure it’ll clean you out, but it’ll leave you hollow inside.

Wilma, I promise you; whatever scum did this, not one man on this force will rest one minute before until he’s behind bars. Now, let’s grab a bite to eat.

Entering without a search warrant, destroying property, arson, sexual assault with a concrete dildo… what the hell’s got into you, Frank?

Ed: Yeah, but going into Ludwig’s office without a warrant, you’re taking a big chance.
Frank: I know. You take a chance getting up in the morning, crossing the street or sticking your face in a fan.

Frank: It’s a topsy-turvy world, and maybe the problems of two people don’t amount to a hill of beans. But this is our hill. And these are our beans!

I’d known her for years. We used to go to all the police functions together. Ah, how I loved her, but she had her music. I think she had her music. She’d hang out with the Chicago Male Chorus and Symphony. I don’t recall her playing an instrument or be able to carry a tune. Yet she was on the road 300 days of the year. In fact I bought her a harp for christmas. She asked me what it was.

Frank: Jane, since I’ve met you I’ve noticed things that I never knew were there before; birds singing, dew glistening on a newly formed leaf, stoplights.

Jane: I wanted you to know, now, I’ve loved you since the first day I met you, and I’ll never stop. I’m a very lucky woman.
Frank: So am I…

Mayor: Now Drebin, I don’t want any trouble like you had on the South Side like last year, that’s my policy.
Frank: Well, when I see five weirdos dressed in togas, stabbing a man in the middle of the park in front of a full view of 100 people, I shoot the bastards, that’s my policy.
Mayor: That was a Shakesphere In The Park Production of Julius Caesar, you moron! You killed five actors! Good ones!

Protecting the Queen’s safety is a task that is gladly accepted by Police Squad. No matter how silly the idea of having a queen might be to us, as Americans we must be gracious and considerate hosts.
[/quote]

Mrs. Nordberg, I think we can save your husband’s arm. Where would you like it sent?

72

[quote]NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
masonator wrote:
Jump out of a plane with no parachute.

A parachute not opening… that’s a way to die. Getting caught in the gears of a combine… having your nuts bit off by a Laplander, that’s the way I wanna go.

It’s true what they say: Cops and women don’t mix. It’s like eating a spoonful of Drano, sure it’ll clean you out, but it’ll leave you hollow inside.

Wilma, I promise you; whatever scum did this, not one man on this force will rest one minute before until he’s behind bars. Now, let’s grab a bite to eat.

Entering without a search warrant, destroying property, arson, sexual assault with a concrete dildo… what the hell’s got into you, Frank?

Ed: Yeah, but going into Ludwig’s office without a warrant, you’re taking a big chance.
Frank: I know. You take a chance getting up in the morning, crossing the street or sticking your face in a fan.

Frank: It’s a topsy-turvy world, and maybe the problems of two people don’t amount to a hill of beans. But this is our hill. And these are our beans!

I’d known her for years. We used to go to all the police functions together. Ah, how I loved her, but she had her music. I think she had her music. She’d hang out with the Chicago Male Chorus and Symphony. I don’t recall her playing an instrument or be able to carry a tune. Yet she was on the road 300 days of the year. In fact I bought her a harp for christmas. She asked me what it was.

Frank: Jane, since I’ve met you I’ve noticed things that I never knew were there before; birds singing, dew glistening on a newly formed leaf, stoplights.

Jane: I wanted you to know, now, I’ve loved you since the first day I met you, and I’ll never stop. I’m a very lucky woman.
Frank: So am I…

Mayor: Now Drebin, I don’t want any trouble like you had on the South Side like last year, that’s my policy.
Frank: Well, when I see five weirdos dressed in togas, stabbing a man in the middle of the park in front of a full view of 100 people, I shoot the bastards, that’s my policy.
Mayor: That was a Shakesphere In The Park Production of Julius Caesar, you moron! You killed five actors! Good ones!

Protecting the Queen’s safety is a task that is gladly accepted by Police Squad. No matter how silly the idea of having a queen might be to us, as Americans we must be gracious and considerate hosts.

Mrs. Nordberg, I think we can save your husband’s arm. Where would you like it sent?
[/quote]

Doctors say that Nordberg has a 50 - 50 chance of living, though there’s only a 10 percent chance of that.

73

[quote]Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
masonator wrote:
Jump out of a plane with no parachute.

A parachute not opening… that’s a way to die. Getting caught in the gears of a combine… having your nuts bit off by a Laplander, that’s the way I wanna go.

It’s true what they say: Cops and women don’t mix. It’s like eating a spoonful of Drano, sure it’ll clean you out, but it’ll leave you hollow inside.

Wilma, I promise you; whatever scum did this, not one man on this force will rest one minute before until he’s behind bars. Now, let’s grab a bite to eat.

Entering without a search warrant, destroying property, arson, sexual assault with a concrete dildo… what the hell’s got into you, Frank?

Ed: Yeah, but going into Ludwig’s office without a warrant, you’re taking a big chance.
Frank: I know. You take a chance getting up in the morning, crossing the street or sticking your face in a fan.

Frank: It’s a topsy-turvy world, and maybe the problems of two people don’t amount to a hill of beans. But this is our hill. And these are our beans!

I’d known her for years. We used to go to all the police functions together. Ah, how I loved her, but she had her music. I think she had her music. She’d hang out with the Chicago Male Chorus and Symphony. I don’t recall her playing an instrument or be able to carry a tune. Yet she was on the road 300 days of the year. In fact I bought her a harp for christmas. She asked me what it was.

Frank: Jane, since I’ve met you I’ve noticed things that I never knew were there before; birds singing, dew glistening on a newly formed leaf, stoplights.

Jane: I wanted you to know, now, I’ve loved you since the first day I met you, and I’ll never stop. I’m a very lucky woman.
Frank: So am I…

Mayor: Now Drebin, I don’t want any trouble like you had on the South Side like last year, that’s my policy.
Frank: Well, when I see five weirdos dressed in togas, stabbing a man in the middle of the park in front of a full view of 100 people, I shoot the bastards, that’s my policy.
Mayor: That was a Shakesphere In The Park Production of Julius Caesar, you moron! You killed five actors! Good ones!

Protecting the Queen’s safety is a task that is gladly accepted by Police Squad. No matter how silly the idea of having a queen might be to us, as Americans we must be gracious and considerate hosts.

Mrs. Nordberg, I think we can save your husband’s arm. Where would you like it sent?

Doctors say that Nordberg has a 50 - 50 chance of living, though there’s only a 10 percent chance of that. [/quote]

Frank: Just think, next time I shoot someone, I could be arrested.

74

[quote]NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
masonator wrote:
Jump out of a plane with no parachute.

A parachute not opening… that’s a way to die. Getting caught in the gears of a combine… having your nuts bit off by a Laplander, that’s the way I wanna go.

It’s true what they say: Cops and women don’t mix. It’s like eating a spoonful of Drano, sure it’ll clean you out, but it’ll leave you hollow inside.

Wilma, I promise you; whatever scum did this, not one man on this force will rest one minute before until he’s behind bars. Now, let’s grab a bite to eat.

Entering without a search warrant, destroying property, arson, sexual assault with a concrete dildo… what the hell’s got into you, Frank?

Ed: Yeah, but going into Ludwig’s office without a warrant, you’re taking a big chance.
Frank: I know. You take a chance getting up in the morning, crossing the street or sticking your face in a fan.

Frank: It’s a topsy-turvy world, and maybe the problems of two people don’t amount to a hill of beans. But this is our hill. And these are our beans!

I’d known her for years. We used to go to all the police functions together. Ah, how I loved her, but she had her music. I think she had her music. She’d hang out with the Chicago Male Chorus and Symphony. I don’t recall her playing an instrument or be able to carry a tune. Yet she was on the road 300 days of the year. In fact I bought her a harp for christmas. She asked me what it was.

Frank: Jane, since I’ve met you I’ve noticed things that I never knew were there before; birds singing, dew glistening on a newly formed leaf, stoplights.

Jane: I wanted you to know, now, I’ve loved you since the first day I met you, and I’ll never stop. I’m a very lucky woman.
Frank: So am I…

Mayor: Now Drebin, I don’t want any trouble like you had on the South Side like last year, that’s my policy.
Frank: Well, when I see five weirdos dressed in togas, stabbing a man in the middle of the park in front of a full view of 100 people, I shoot the bastards, that’s my policy.
Mayor: That was a Shakesphere In The Park Production of Julius Caesar, you moron! You killed five actors! Good ones!

Protecting the Queen’s safety is a task that is gladly accepted by Police Squad. No matter how silly the idea of having a queen might be to us, as Americans we must be gracious and considerate hosts.

Mrs. Nordberg, I think we can save your husband’s arm. Where would you like it sent?

Doctors say that Nordberg has a 50 - 50 chance of living, though there’s only a 10 percent chance of that.

Frank: Just think, next time I shoot someone, I could be arrested. [/quote]

Thug: Drebin?
Frank: Yeah!
Thug: I got a message for you from Vincent Ludwig.
[Shoots gun at Drebin]
Thug: Take this you son of a bitch!
Frank: I can’t hear you! Don’t fire the gun while you’re talking!

75

[quote]Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
masonator wrote:
Jump out of a plane with no parachute.

A parachute not opening… that’s a way to die. Getting caught in the gears of a combine… having your nuts bit off by a Laplander, that’s the way I wanna go.

It’s true what they say: Cops and women don’t mix. It’s like eating a spoonful of Drano, sure it’ll clean you out, but it’ll leave you hollow inside.

Wilma, I promise you; whatever scum did this, not one man on this force will rest one minute before until he’s behind bars. Now, let’s grab a bite to eat.

Entering without a search warrant, destroying property, arson, sexual assault with a concrete dildo… what the hell’s got into you, Frank?

Ed: Yeah, but going into Ludwig’s office without a warrant, you’re taking a big chance.
Frank: I know. You take a chance getting up in the morning, crossing the street or sticking your face in a fan.

Frank: It’s a topsy-turvy world, and maybe the problems of two people don’t amount to a hill of beans. But this is our hill. And these are our beans!

I’d known her for years. We used to go to all the police functions together. Ah, how I loved her, but she had her music. I think she had her music. She’d hang out with the Chicago Male Chorus and Symphony.

I don’t recall her playing an instrument or be able to carry a tune. Yet she was on the road 300 days of the year. In fact I bought her a harp for christmas. She asked me what it was.

Frank: Jane, since I’ve met you I’ve noticed things that I never knew were there before; birds singing, dew glistening on a newly formed leaf, stoplights.

Jane: I wanted you to know, now, I’ve loved you since the first day I met you, and I’ll never stop. I’m a very lucky woman.
Frank: So am I…

Mayor: Now Drebin, I don’t want any trouble like you had on the South Side like last year, that’s my policy.

Frank: Well, when I see five weirdos dressed in togas, stabbing a man in the middle of the park in front of a full view of 100 people, I shoot the bastards, that’s my policy.

Mayor: That was a Shakesphere In The Park Production of Julius Caesar, you moron! You killed five actors! Good ones!

Protecting the Queen’s safety is a task that is gladly accepted by Police Squad. No matter how silly the idea of having a queen might be to us, as Americans we must be gracious and considerate hosts.

Mrs. Nordberg, I think we can save your husband’s arm. Where would you like it sent?

Doctors say that Nordberg has a 50 - 50 chance of living, though there’s only a 10 percent chance of that.

Frank: Just think, next time I shoot someone, I could be arrested.

Thug: Drebin?
Frank: Yeah!
Thug: I got a message for you from Vincent Ludwig.
[Shoots gun at Drebin]
Thug: Take this you son of a bitch!
Frank: I can’t hear you! Don’t fire the gun while you’re talking! [/quote]

Frank: It’s the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girls dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year’s Day.
Jane: Goodyear?
Frank: No, the worst.

76

[quote]NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
masonator wrote:
Jump out of a plane with no parachute.

A parachute not opening… that’s a way to die. Getting caught in the gears of a combine… having your nuts bit off by a Laplander, that’s the way I wanna go.

It’s true what they say: Cops and women don’t mix. It’s like eating a spoonful of Drano, sure it’ll clean you out, but it’ll leave you hollow inside.

Wilma, I promise you; whatever scum did this, not one man on this force will rest one minute before until he’s behind bars. Now, let’s grab a bite to eat.

Entering without a search warrant, destroying property, arson, sexual assault with a concrete dildo… what the hell’s got into you, Frank?

Ed: Yeah, but going into Ludwig’s office without a warrant, you’re taking a big chance.
Frank: I know. You take a chance getting up in the morning, crossing the street or sticking your face in a fan.

Frank: It’s a topsy-turvy world, and maybe the problems of two people don’t amount to a hill of beans. But this is our hill. And these are our beans!

I’d known her for years. We used to go to all the police functions together. Ah, how I loved her, but she had her music. I think she had her music. She’d hang out with the Chicago Male Chorus and Symphony.

I don’t recall her playing an instrument or be able to carry a tune. Yet she was on the road 300 days of the year. In fact I bought her a harp for christmas. She asked me what it was.

Frank: Jane, since I’ve met you I’ve noticed things that I never knew were there before; birds singing, dew glistening on a newly formed leaf, stoplights.

Jane: I wanted you to know, now, I’ve loved you since the first day I met you, and I’ll never stop. I’m a very lucky woman.
Frank: So am I…

Mayor: Now Drebin, I don’t want any trouble like you had on the South Side like last year, that’s my policy.

Frank: Well, when I see five weirdos dressed in togas, stabbing a man in the middle of the park in front of a full view of 100 people, I shoot the bastards, that’s my policy.

Mayor: That was a Shakesphere In The Park Production of Julius Caesar, you moron! You killed five actors! Good ones!

Protecting the Queen’s safety is a task that is gladly accepted by Police Squad. No matter how silly the idea of having a queen might be to us, as Americans we must be gracious and considerate hosts.

Mrs. Nordberg, I think we can save your husband’s arm. Where would you like it sent?

Doctors say that Nordberg has a 50 - 50 chance of living, though there’s only a 10 percent chance of that.

Frank: Just think, next time I shoot someone, I could be arrested.

Thug: Drebin?
Frank: Yeah!
Thug: I got a message for you from Vincent Ludwig.
[Shoots gun at Drebin]
Thug: Take this you son of a bitch!
Frank: I can’t hear you! Don’t fire the gun while you’re talking!

Frank: It’s the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girls dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year’s Day.
Jane: Goodyear?
Frank: No, the worst. [/quote]

Jane: How about a rain check?
Frank: Well, let’s just stick to dinner.

77

[quote]Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
masonator wrote:
Jump out of a plane with no parachute.

A parachute not opening… that’s a way to die. Getting caught in the gears of a combine… having your nuts bit off by a Laplander, that’s the way I wanna go.

It’s true what they say: Cops and women don’t mix. It’s like eating a spoonful of Drano, sure it’ll clean you out, but it’ll leave you hollow inside.

Wilma, I promise you; whatever scum did this, not one man on this force will rest one minute before until he’s behind bars. Now, let’s grab a bite to eat.

Entering without a search warrant, destroying property, arson, sexual assault with a concrete dildo… what the hell’s got into you, Frank?

Ed: Yeah, but going into Ludwig’s office without a warrant, you’re taking a big chance.
Frank: I know. You take a chance getting up in the morning, crossing the street or sticking your face in a fan.

Frank: It’s a topsy-turvy world, and maybe the problems of two people don’t amount to a hill of beans. But this is our hill. And these are our beans!

I’d known her for years. We used to go to all the police functions together. Ah, how I loved her, but she had her music. I think she had her music. She’d hang out with the Chicago Male Chorus and Symphony.

I don’t recall her playing an instrument or be able to carry a tune. Yet she was on the road 300 days of the year. In fact I bought her a harp for christmas. She asked me what it was.

Frank: Jane, since I’ve met you I’ve noticed things that I never knew were there before; birds singing, dew glistening on a newly formed leaf, stoplights.

Jane: I wanted you to know, now, I’ve loved you since the first day I met you, and I’ll never stop. I’m a very lucky woman.
Frank: So am I…

Mayor: Now Drebin, I don’t want any trouble like you had on the South Side like last year, that’s my policy.

Frank: Well, when I see five weirdos dressed in togas, stabbing a man in the middle of the park in front of a full view of 100 people, I shoot the bastards, that’s my policy.

Mayor: That was a Shakesphere In The Park Production of Julius Caesar, you moron! You killed five actors! Good ones!

Protecting the Queen’s safety is a task that is gladly accepted by Police Squad. No matter how silly the idea of having a queen might be to us, as Americans we must be gracious and considerate hosts.

Mrs. Nordberg, I think we can save your husband’s arm. Where would you like it sent?

Doctors say that Nordberg has a 50 - 50 chance of living, though there’s only a 10 percent chance of that.

Frank: Just think, next time I shoot someone, I could be arrested.

Thug: Drebin?
Frank: Yeah!
Thug: I got a message for you from Vincent Ludwig.
[Shoots gun at Drebin]
Thug: Take this you son of a bitch!
Frank: I can’t hear you! Don’t fire the gun while you’re talking!

Frank: It’s the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girls dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year’s Day.
Jane: Goodyear?
Frank: No, the worst.

Jane: How about a rain check?
Frank: Well, let’s just stick to dinner. [/quote]

Jane: Would you like a nightcap?
Frank: No thank you, I don’t wear them.

78

[quote]NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
NateOrade wrote:
Zap Branigan wrote:
masonator wrote:
Jump out of a plane with no parachute.

A parachute not opening… that’s a way to die. Getting caught in the gears of a combine… having your nuts bit off by a Laplander, that’s the way I wanna go.

It’s true what they say: Cops and women don’t mix. It’s like eating a spoonful of Drano, sure it’ll clean you out, but it’ll leave you hollow inside.

Wilma, I promise you; whatever scum did this, not one man on this force will rest one minute before until he’s behind bars. Now, let’s grab a bite to eat.

Entering without a search warrant, destroying property, arson, sexual assault with a concrete dildo… what the hell’s got into you, Frank?

Ed: Yeah, but going into Ludwig’s office without a warrant, you’re taking a big chance.
Frank: I know. You take a chance getting up in the morning, crossing the street or sticking your face in a fan.

Frank: It’s a topsy-turvy world, and maybe the problems of two people don’t amount to a hill of beans. But this is our hill. And these are our beans!

I’d known her for years. We used to go to all the police functions together. Ah, how I loved her, but she had her music. I think she had her music. She’d hang out with the Chicago Male Chorus and Symphony.

I don’t recall her playing an instrument or be able to carry a tune. Yet she was on the road 300 days of the year. In fact I bought her a harp for christmas. She asked me what it was.

Frank: Jane, since I’ve met you I’ve noticed things that I never knew were there before; birds singing, dew glistening on a newly formed leaf, stoplights.

Jane: I wanted you to know, now, I’ve loved you since the first day I met you, and I’ll never stop. I’m a very lucky woman.
Frank: So am I…

Mayor: Now Drebin, I don’t want any trouble like you had on the South Side like last year, that’s my policy.

Frank: Well, when I see five weirdos dressed in togas, stabbing a man in the middle of the park in front of a full view of 100 people, I shoot the bastards, that’s my policy.

Mayor: That was a Shakesphere In The Park Production of Julius Caesar, you moron! You killed five actors! Good ones!

Protecting the Queen’s safety is a task that is gladly accepted by Police Squad. No matter how silly the idea of having a queen might be to us, as Americans we must be gracious and considerate hosts.

Mrs. Nordberg, I think we can save your husband’s arm. Where would you like it sent?

Doctors say that Nordberg has a 50 - 50 chance of living, though there’s only a 10 percent chance of that.

Frank: Just think, next time I shoot someone, I could be arrested.

Thug: Drebin?
Frank: Yeah!
Thug: I got a message for you from Vincent Ludwig.
[Shoots gun at Drebin]
Thug: Take this you son of a bitch!
Frank: I can’t hear you! Don’t fire the gun while you’re talking!

Frank: It’s the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girls dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year’s Day.
Jane: Goodyear?
Frank: No, the worst.

Jane: How about a rain check?
Frank: Well, let’s just stick to dinner.

Jane: Would you like a nightcap?
Frank: No thank you, I don’t wear them. [/quote]

Mrs. Nordberg: Oh, my poor Nordberg! He was such a good man, Frank. He never wanted to hurt anyone. Who would do such a thing?
Frank: It’s hard to tell. A gang of thugs, a blackmailer, an angry husband, a gay lover…

79

[quote]lixy wrote:
masonator wrote:
What the fuck is wrong with you??? Why would you look for this?? I’m not joking. Seek counciling.

Since this thread is turning into a quote-mine, allow me to add:

“STAY THE FUCK IN OKLAHOMA!”[/quote]

That’s a great plan, Walter. That’s fuckin’ ingenious, if I understand it correctly. It’s a Swiss fuckin’ watch.

80

This one’s not mine, and it’s prolly not too ‘badass’, but it’s the most ironic.

Drown in a swimming pool on a cruise ship, in the middle of the f*cking ocean!