Asking GF to Lose Weight

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81

[quote]MinotaurXXX wrote:

[quote]Yogi wrote:

[quote]MinotaurXXX wrote:

[quote]Yogi wrote:
Do not under any circumstances tell your girlfriend she is getting fat. This is relationship 101 and you should really know this already.
[/quote]

Relationship 101 is being able to openly discuss and resolve any issues.

[/quote]

I agree about being openly able to discuss any issues - except when your mrs is getting fat! There’s just no way to broach the subject.

I still think just encouraging her to come to the gym and/or cooking healthy meals together is a much more tactful way to go.

Buuuut it doesn’t even sound like his mrs is getting fat in the first place. My girl is 5’ 1", 115lbs but by the OP’s standard he probably thinks she’s a little chunky[/quote]

This is fine…on paper. But if the weight gain is the result of a deeper cause, then she’ll eventually find excuses to skip gym day or possibly express resentment for being obligated to go. And she can also sneak in junk food when the bf is not around. [/quote]

Yogi - That strategy would work really well with someone like my hubs who will mostly eat whatever I cook, and doesn’t eat much at all outside of meals.

It wouldn’t work very well for someone like me. My extra calories are from munching outside of meals, chocolate while I’m reading my kindle in the evening… I think a lot of women are more like this.

82

Alright guys just wanted to update this thread. Ok so I’ve gotten her to go to the gym with me for the first time a few days ago. We just lifted some light weights. I plan on taking it slow so she doesn’t feel overwhelmed and end up quitting after the first week. I tried to promote the whole idea of, “it’s great bonding time” in order to get her to come with me.

I didn’t mention this before but I have an idea of what might be causing her weight gain. She doesn’t like to drink water and instead drinks sugary sodas or Juice. I know if she cuts these extra empty calories out she’d lose 10-12lbs without even working out so anyone have any ideas on how to cut them?

83

[quote]Justliftbrah wrote:
I didn’t mention this before but I have an idea of what might be causing her weight gain. She doesn’t like to drink water and instead drinks sugary sodas or Juice. I know if she cuts these extra empty calories out she’d lose 10-12lbs without even working out so anyone have any ideas on how to cut them? [/quote]

You’re right, this will probably make a big difference. Any kind of tea and/or water with a splash of lemon in it will be a good replacement. Or go the diet soda route - I think they’re not healthy but still better than the sugar.

84

[quote]Justliftbrah wrote:
Alright guys just wanted to update this thread. Ok so I’ve gotten her to go to the gym with me for the first time a few days ago. We just lifted some light weights. I plan on taking it slow so she doesn’t feel overwhelmed and end up quitting after the first week. I tried to promote the whole idea of, “it’s great bonding time” in order to get her to come with me.

I didn’t mention this before but I have an idea of what might be causing her weight gain. She doesn’t like to drink water and instead drinks sugary sodas or Juice. I know if she cuts these extra empty calories out she’d lose 10-12lbs without even working out so anyone have any ideas on how to cut them? [/quote]

Tell they age skin and make you hold water(true story brah)

85

[quote]Powerpuff wrote:

[quote]MinotaurXXX wrote:

[quote]Yogi wrote:

[quote]MinotaurXXX wrote:

[quote]Yogi wrote:
Do not under any circumstances tell your girlfriend she is getting fat. This is relationship 101 and you should really know this already.
[/quote]

Relationship 101 is being able to openly discuss and resolve any issues.

[/quote]

I agree about being openly able to discuss any issues - except when your mrs is getting fat! There’s just no way to broach the subject.

I still think just encouraging her to come to the gym and/or cooking healthy meals together is a much more tactful way to go.

Buuuut it doesn’t even sound like his mrs is getting fat in the first place. My girl is 5’ 1", 115lbs but by the OP’s standard he probably thinks she’s a little chunky[/quote]

This is fine…on paper. But if the weight gain is the result of a deeper cause, then she’ll eventually find excuses to skip gym day or possibly express resentment for being obligated to go. And she can also sneak in junk food when the bf is not around. [/quote]

Yogi - That strategy would work really well with someone like my hubs who will mostly eat whatever I cook, and doesn’t eat much at all outside of meals.

It wouldn’t work very well for someone like me. My extra calories are from munching outside of meals, chocolate while I’m reading my kindle in the evening… I think a lot of women are more like this.[/quote]

ah the classic female grazer! Yeah that makes it a little harder. Trick there is just to not have the snack foods in the house.

I had a PT client ask me about her diet once. She said “I eat really healthy meals, but eat 2 big bags of haribo every day.”

I said “um, could you stop eating haribo?”

86

[quote]Yogi wrote:

[quote]Powerpuff wrote:

[quote]MinotaurXXX wrote:

[quote]Yogi wrote:

[quote]MinotaurXXX wrote:

[quote]Yogi wrote:
Do not under any circumstances tell your girlfriend she is getting fat. This is relationship 101 and you should really know this already.
[/quote]

Relationship 101 is being able to openly discuss and resolve any issues.

[/quote]

I agree about being openly able to discuss any issues - except when your mrs is getting fat! There’s just no way to broach the subject.

I still think just encouraging her to come to the gym and/or cooking healthy meals together is a much more tactful way to go.

Buuuut it doesn’t even sound like his mrs is getting fat in the first place. My girl is 5’ 1", 115lbs but by the OP’s standard he probably thinks she’s a little chunky[/quote]

This is fine…on paper. But if the weight gain is the result of a deeper cause, then she’ll eventually find excuses to skip gym day or possibly express resentment for being obligated to go. And she can also sneak in junk food when the bf is not around. [/quote]

Yogi - That strategy would work really well with someone like my hubs who will mostly eat whatever I cook, and doesn’t eat much at all outside of meals.

It wouldn’t work very well for someone like me. My extra calories are from munching outside of meals, chocolate while I’m reading my kindle in the evening… I think a lot of women are more like this.[/quote]

ah the classic female grazer! Yeah that makes it a little harder. Trick there is just to not have the snack foods in the house.

I had a PT client ask me about her diet once. She said “I eat really healthy meals, but eat 2 big bags of haribo every day.”

I said “um, could you stop eating haribo?”

[/quote]

Far too simplistic IF the person has a deeper reason for the binge eating.

I actually hope the op posts updates. Sure, it could be as easy and obvious as cutting out sugar-laden drinks and hitting the gym. And Occam’s Razor dictates this should be addressed first. But things often are a little more complicated. That’s why it matters to bring it out in the open.

And I think Powerpuff, whose shown she’s got the right stuff, knows how to snack without being excessive. This puts her in the minority.

87

[quote]Justliftbrah wrote:
Ok so I’ve been dating this girl for almost a year and she’s great. I really like her and everything is going smooth, except one thing. She’s been gaining weight quite rapidly and it’s beginning to concern me. I’m concerned first about her health and second my level of attraction for her.

I would like to tell her but i’m afraid her feelings would get hurt. I don’t think it’s fair because I take care of myself while she just doesn’t care anymore. I was thinking I ask her to be my gym partner and slowly but surely get her to fall in love with working out. Also would you recommend she do the compound lifts with me? i.e. deadlifts, squats, bench etc? I feel like if she did she’d snap her shixt from really bad form.

What do you guys think?[/quote]

Lose the girlfriend and you lose all the weight.

88

[quote]pat wrote:

[quote]Justliftbrah wrote:
Ok so I’ve been dating this girl for almost a year and she’s great. I really like her and everything is going smooth, except one thing. She’s been gaining weight quite rapidly and it’s beginning to concern me. I’m concerned first about her health and second my level of attraction for her.

I would like to tell her but i’m afraid her feelings would get hurt. I don’t think it’s fair because I take care of myself while she just doesn’t care anymore. I was thinking I ask her to be my gym partner and slowly but surely get her to fall in love with working out. Also would you recommend she do the compound lifts with me? i.e. deadlifts, squats, bench etc? I feel like if she did she’d snap her shixt from really bad form.

What do you guys think?[/quote]

Lose the girlfriend and you lose all the weight.[/quote]

I told the OP to always have an exit plan. And if he’s smart, he should since there’s nothing on paper and there are no kids involved.

meh - he gives the impression he found a good one so I say let him try to resolve it first. I just hope he’s smart to recognize a losing battle if this is the case…

89

Just an update to this thread. It’s been three months and we’ve been working out together. We’ve also been Going to the track to do some HIIT. I never thought I’d say this this but she’s done a complete 180. She eats healthier and goes to the gym with me every day. I show up a few mins earlier to complete my workout then I train her. Her net weight loss is only about 5lbs but everyone’s been commenting on how much slimmer she looks. I wanted to target the fat as much as possible and try to increase her lean mass (noob gains). So she has actually lost close to 10-13 lbs of fat and has increased some lean mass. I’m very proud of her. Her booty has gotten more toned and looks amazing and we’re only half way there. We’ve made a challenge to ourselves that we’ll have incredible beach bods when we go to the beach this june.

90

Teamwork!
I love happy endings.

91

admit it - you miss fat girlfriend.

Admit it!

92

Lies, she is even fatter and you are still with her.

93

Awesome. So rare to see a positive outcome to a T-Nation relationship thread.

94

Wow! That’s one beautiful hippopotamus posted above.